"I hate to say it...but I kinda don't," Kunikida admitted.

Dazai gasped in horror. "I knew this day would come..."

"Sorry," apologized Kunikida.

"It's fine...this is fine..." Dazai replied.

"No really, I'm sorry," Kunikida insisted.

"And I'm serious, it's fine. I guess I haven't really given you a reason to believe me," Dazai said.

"Well, if you say so..." Kunikida replied doubtfully, still feeling guilty over admitting that he didn't believe Dazai.

"Yeeeesssss! Kunikida's on his way to remembering things! About time!" Chuuya cheered.

"Pfft," Dazai scoffed, immediately getting out of his sad mood, for now at least. "He doesn't believe me once. Big deal. He's believed me every other time AND agreed with me and never missed a chance to declare how much he likes me, so don't get your hopes up too high, shortie."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!!!!!!" Chuuya roared, tackling Dazai again.

Kunikida sighed. "I'm assuming this is a normal occurrence?"

"Sadly yes," Atsushi replied as the two arch enemies continued to fight.

"I genuinely don't know what's more shocking at this point: Kunikida believing Dazai or Kunikida not believing Dazai," Junichiro spoke up.

"Under normal circumstances it would be weird for Kunikida to believe Dazai but at this point it's weirder that he doesn't," Kenji noted.

"Well...actually it's not too shocking. There have been a few occasions where Dazai tricked Kunikida into writing something and waited until after he was writing to announce that he was kidding," Yosano pointed out.

"Those poor pens of Kunikida's, they don't deserve to die because Dazai decided to be annoying," Ranpo added.

"I've never killed any pens," Kunikida protested.

"Yeah, you have. Though we don't fault you for it cause Dazai was the one who annoyed you enough to do so," Yosano replied.

"You are the meanest doctor there is," Dazai complained.

"And you're the most annoying person to ever walk this earth," Yosano shot back.

"I sure do wish I wasn't walking this earth though," Dazai sighed.

Kunikida gave Dazai a stern look that was reminiscent of the real Kunikida. "As I've told you multiple times before, you are not dying. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Kunikida," Dazai reluctantly agreed.

Kunikida then gave Dazai an uncharacteristic smile. "Good, don't die."

"For you I'd do anything," Dazai said.

Chuuya rolled his eyes. "Get a room, you two."

"Oh hush. I'm just promising Kunikida I won't die. Get your mind out of the gutter," Dazai replied.

"Yeah, that's not a bad thing. We all want Dazai to stay alive," Kenji added.

"Speak for yourself, child," Chuuya replied bitterly.

"I mean, I speak for almost all of us when I say that," Kenji insisted.

"Keyword 'almost'. I for one would be better off without him," Chuuya declared.

"You're so mean," Kunikida and Dazai said in unison.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU GUYS DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!" Chuuya screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Jeez, Mr. Fancy Hat. Deafen us, why don't you?" Ranpo complained.

"Hmph. At least someone appreciates my fashion," Chuuya sulked.

"I do, but I don't appreciate your screaming," Ranpo replied.

"Fair enough, I guess. But it's all Dazai's fault," Chuuya announced.

"Don't remind me," Dazai sighed.

"Nothing's your fault," Kunikida argued.

"Only you appear to think that," Dazai noted.

"Maybe, but at least there's someone," Kunikida replied.

"Very true," Dazai agreed.

"Barf," Chuuya complained.

"Did you guys hear something? Cause I didn't," Dazai taunted.

Chuuya's face slowly began to morph into a very irate expression.

"Uh-oh, we'll all be deaf in 3...2...1..." Atsushi counted.

And he was right, for Chuuya then proceeded to unleash a very loud, long, drawn-out scream that definitely deafened the world.

"Dazai, can you leave Chuuya alone?" Kunikida asked. "We'd all like to keep our hearing."

"Of course," Dazai agreed. "My sincerest apologies, Kunikida."

"It's cool, but please actually stop this time," Kunikida begged.

"I will, I swear it," Dazai promised.

He was rewarded by Kunikida's angelic smile.

"This is scary. Kunikida's never looked this happy as far as I've known him," Kyouka spoke up.

"Yeah, I don't think any of us have ever seen that," Yosano agreed.

"It's still nice to see, though," Kenji pointed out. "Kunikida's actually relaxed for once."

"It's nice but also terrifying," Kyouka said.

"It's neither nice nor scary, it's straight-up unfair," Chuuya complained.

"Well, maybe Kunikida decided he's done thinking I'm annoying and he likes me now. I can't help that, now, can I?" Dazai asked.

"Apparently he's 'always' liked you," Chuuya sulked.

"You should be glad he does," Dazai said.

"Why the heck would I be glad about that?! You stole him from me and I hate you even more now!" Chuuya yelled.

"I didn't steal him! Kunikida's a grown man who can make his own decisions and he made the right decision to like me!" Dazai argued.

"No, he was wrong!" Chuuya disagreed.

"He was right!" Dazai yelled.

"Wrong!"

"Right!"

"Wrong!"

"Right!"

"Wrong!"

"Right!"

"Wrong!"

"Right!"

Kunikida gave the foes a bored look. At this point, even he was growing mildly frustrated with the constant arguing.

"Kunikida, tell Chuuya you were right to like me!" Dazai begged.

"No, tell Dazai you were wrong!" Chuuya argued.

"Not you telling Kunikida what to say. Tsk tsk," Dazai scolded.

"YOU DID IT FIRST!" Chuuya screamed.

"Can both of you shut up already?" Kyouka asked.

"Nope," Dazai and Chuuya replied.

"Great, now even the arch enemies are speaking in sync," Yosano said sarcastically.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the whole city can hear you guys," Ranpo remarked.

"Can't you guys at least try to get along?" Kenji, ever the peacemaker, asked.

"Well, here's the thing, Ranpo. Chuuya needs to realize that Kunikida was right to like me," Dazai announced. "And sorry Kenji, I'm afraid that's not possible."

Kenji sighed. "Oh well, I tried."

"Can't you guys just agree to disagree?" Ranpo asked.

"Nope," Chuuya replied. "Sorry detective, but Dazai doesn't realize just how dire this situation is and he needs to know that he's in the wrong for stealing Kunikida."

"Nah, miss me with those lies," Dazai argued. "You're the one who needs to realize that it's a very good thing that Kunikida likes me."

"NO!" Chuuya exclaimed.

"YES!" yelled Dazai.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"So much for you actually stopping your teasing, Dazai," Kunikida remarked.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo pllllleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssseeeeee don't be mad at me, Kuuuuuunnnniiiiiiikkkiiiiiidddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......." Dazai begged.

Kunikida looked confused. "I didn't say I was?"

"But I broke my promise," Dazai pointed out.

"You did," Kunikida agreed.

"And you're not mad?" Dazai asked.

"I'm not, but I and the rest of us would like to keep our hearing and you two are super loud," Kunikida replied.

"Ok, I'll stop," Dazai said.

Kunikida raised his eyebrows at Dazai.

"I promise," Dazai added.

Kunikida looked even more skeptical.

"I swear it," Dazai promised.

Kunikida still looked doubtful, but he didn't want Dazai to know he didn't believe him so he just nodded.

"Yeah, sure," Chuuya remarked sarcastically.

"You don't have to believe me, shortie. All that matters to me is that Kunikida does," Dazai replied.

"Oh yeah, of course he'll believe you since you're his favorite person ever," Chuuya said bitterly.

"I'm convinced you're jealous," Dazai noted.

"I AM NOT!" Chuuya snapped.

"It's ok if you are. We all experience jealousy at some point in our lives," Dazai replied, ignoring Chuuya's denial.

"Well, I sure haven't. I don't care that Kunikida prefers you over me now. I don't care one bit!" Chuuya insisted.

"Chuuya, you can admit it. This is a safe space," Dazai said.

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT JEALOUS! YOU AND KUNIKIDA CAN HAVE EACH OTHER FOR ALL I CARE!" Chuuya ranted.

Kunikida gave Chuuya a doubtful look. "You're screaming about me and you're not jealous?"

"Hey, stop looking at me like that!" Chuuya commanded. "And no, I don't care who you keep company with!"

"If you say so," Kunikida said.

"I do! And I'm out! I don't care about any of this one little bit! See you losers later! Or better yet, never again, especially you, Dazai, you annoying waste of bandages! And as for you, Kunikida, I hope for your own sake that you come back to your senses soon!" Chuuya shouted, stomping out the door.