philocaly

(n.) the love of beauty

"So you mean to tell me that I befriended a Night Fury?" Hiccup breathed out and you nodded in confirmation. You started off with the miraculous story of how he met his dragon best friend. You knew it like the back of your hand by now, each time you and Hiccup were sitting under the sunset, you'd casually ask him to tell it again and each time he complied. The story never got old and it always left you marveled like it was the first time hearing it.

"Yes, and he likes you very much." You added and Hiccup rolled his eyes, not even trying to hide his displeasure.

"Dragons don't have feelings. They'll gobble you up the second they see you." Hiccup disagreed as expected. It was weird hearing him say these things when you were so used to Hiccup always being ecstatic about dragons and learning everything about them.

"And you're telling me that Berk lives in harmony with dragons now?" Another one of Hiccup's question followed, they seemed neverending. As usual you nodded. He'd occasionally repeat what you said with utter disbelief, you assumed he didn't really believe you that much since his face was constantly scrunched up with doubt.

"Yes and its all because of you. You're a hero there." You smiled, hoping the nice words wouldn't pass his head like your previous failed attempts earlier. Hiccup simply dodged them.

"The only thing I am is a coward. I couldn't even kill a dragon." Hiccup's gaze fell down to the floor in disappointment, but you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. You wanted to kiss him and tell him what he's saying is wrong, but you had to accept the fact that you're practically a stranger to him now. It would only drag him further away if you took any like that approach now. But you were determined to change that.

"No, Hiccup, you chose not to kill him." You argued, imploring him to accept the truth. For a while Hiccup didn't say anything after that.

"Toothless is your best friend Hiccup and he misses you a lot."

"But I don't." He sneered. "I don't want to be even remotely close to that unholy beast."

You closed your eyes and let out a sigh. This is going nowhere. Words aren't going to convince Hiccup that dragons aren't dangerous anymore, he needed to be around Toothless to see that for himself.

"What..." You started but struggled to put your words into a solid sentence. "What do you actually remember then?"

You needed to find out a little bit more about Hiccup's past. Why he doesn't know anything about the Edge and why he thinks the gang torments him since they've never done that, not once since you met them.

"That I'm a good-for-nothing fishbone that works in the forge because my dad doesn't let me go help with the dragon raids cause he think's I'll get eaten." Hiccup said and you struggled to recall when was there ever a raid on Berk. "Oh and my life is basically a living hell because of Snotlout and the others."

It was weird hearing this from Hiccup. It sounded like something from another reality. You thought that the gang were childhood friends that were always together since day one, but it might've been a complete different story. You couldn't imagine Hiccup bullied by the others since they're so kind and generous towards him now.

"They've changed. You're not getting bullied anymore..." Your voice trailed off. Who knows how traumatized Hiccup has been because of them, and it stung a bit that you never know about this particular part from Hiccup's life. You guessed that maybe he was ashamed to admit it.

Once more, Hiccup remained silent. Until you heard him whisper 'doubt that'.

"Look, Hiccup, you're amazing. You're not some scrawny boy you used to be back in the past. You're stronger and bolder now. And I don't know how many times I have to repeat but you have friends that love you, family, the village adores you, the dragons too and...so do I." When you finished talking you realized that you've been rambling this whole time and Hiccup just stared back.

"...Are you sure you're talking about me?" Hiccup said with uncertainty and rolled your eyes. You were expecting him to be flattered at least, but that completely went off the window.

"How many Hiccup's do you think there are on Berk?" You threw in a joke, hoping to ease up the tension in the room and watched as a smile tugged on Hiccup's lips.

"Okay, you got me there." He chuckled and you had to restrain yourself from launching at him because you missed his laughter so very much.

This reminded you of the first time you spent time with Hiccup, when you didn't know him that well. You then realized how much power you have in this situation. This was basically a complete reset of your relationship. You can come up with anything and say it happened and Hiccup will blindly believe it did. Any downfalls that happened could be erased. You had the power to transform him into the perfect puppet. But of course you weren't that deranged to manipulate Hiccup.

"So uh, you're my...girlfriend?" The word awkwardly rolled off his tongue, like he wasn't used to saying it. In all honesty, you were a bit excited he finally started talking about you. You bobbed your head and smiled, though you tried not to show a lot of eagerness, you didn't want to seem creepy.

"Yeah, we've been dating for a year." You filled him in, since that would probably be the followup question. Right when you replied, you noticed a movement on Hiccup's eyebrows when they quirked up. Was he expecting something else?

"Really? One year?" He said incredulously and you were staring to feel a bit worried, was it disappointing? From the tone of his voice the only thing you could tell is that he was surprised, but the reason behind it was still unknown.

"Yep. Our anniversary was three days ago." You replied and looked away with a frown. How you desperately wished you could go back in time and stop yourself from even mentioning the godforsaken paper Trader Johann gave you. But what is done is done and now you had to face the consequences.

"Oh... Um... How was it?" Hiccup sheepishly asked and you frowned even more.

"We never got to celebrate it." You admitted regretfully. You didn't want to look at Hiccup and see the nonchalant expression on his face because there was no doubt he wasn't feeling anything about it. You didn't want to see him not caring at all when you on the other hand were the one racked with all the emotions.

Hiccup murmured an 'oh' and then his lips sealed once more.

"What happened?" You didn't think Hiccup would care enough to ask, but you were glad he did.

"We had a mission to save the dragons from and auction-"

"Wait, wait, wait. We're saving dragons now?" Hiccup cut you off and you gave him a loose smile. Boy does he have a lot to learn.

"Hiccup the dragons basically surround our whole life." You deadpanned.

"Anyway uh, we freed the dragons and then we were about to leave but... Viggo's men started shooting arrows and that frightened Toothless so you slipped away from his back... And it was all my fault." Your voice trembled at the end and you inhaled a shaky breath, reminding it all like it was yesterday.

"Who's Viggo and why is it your fault?" Hiccup questioned and you moved a hair strand behind your ear, too afraid to catch his gaze.

"Viggo is our archenemy I guess you could say. He wants to trap the dragons and sell them." You explained. "And the reason why its my fault is because I didn't catch you in time. Um, you fell and suffered intense damage which resulted into you losing your memory."

The seconds that Hiccup remained silent felt like a whole eternity, his eyes judgmental. You had no idea how he would respond to that. Will he hate you forever? Will he stop talking to you from now on? You didn't want to stick and find out the answer to that.

"Well, don't stress about it." Hiccup replied shortly after. He looked rather composed after finding that the reason he doesn't remember anything is sitting right in front of him. But that didn't stop the small wave of relief that washed over you. "It was most likely the worst year of your life."

"What? Why would you say that? We went through so much together... And it was nice. Don't you want to remember about it again? About us?" Your voice cracked.

"Maybe I will never remember, but don't worry. I was probably not the boyfriend material anyway." Your eyes widened while you listened to Hiccup degrading himself like that.

"No! You were the best! You're kind and lovely and put others before you. You were always there when I needed you and I can't imagine a world without you Hiccup. You're my everything." You reassured him quite intensely and that left him taken aback. He was never used to people actually appreciating his existence, never used to anyone being this nice towards him. Every time it was the same, being treated like garbage and insulted to the point where he would cry himself to sleep. He felt weak and pathetic all of the times. And all that left him with massive amount of doubt at whatever you were saying, Hiccup would never believe a word you said. Let alone believe anyone could actually love him.

"Oh." Was all he managed to say and you internally died from all the awkwardness.

"I uh... Um, yeah." You replied with a matching tone and then the dreadful silence once more. This time you couldn't bare it and you got up. You shouldn't have scared him like that.

"I'll go now." You declared. Just as you were about to go down the stairs, you heard Hiccup say 'hey' and you stopped dead in your tracks. You didn't really want to leave yet but it was obvious that Hiccup couldn't take in any more information.

"Uh, I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be." He confessed and you frowned sadly. Your gaze dropped, you were unsure how to respond to that.

"Sleep now, you need to rest." You sighed. "And also don't go out, you might get lost. There's water on the nightstand and...yeah good night."
And with that you left the second floor. Hiccup listened to you slowly walk out of the place and after that he was surrounded by nothing but silence.

-----

The moment you stepped foot in your hut, you slammed your back against the wooden door. Your feet were trembling too much and you weren't able to keep your balance, you slid down the door and fell right on the floor.

The tremulous sobs escaped your lips almost immediately and you pressed your hand over your mouth in order to subdue them. Your whole body clenched in itself, your teeth gritted and hands folded into tight fists next to your throbbing head. And the harboured thoughts tucked in your mind since Hiccup first woke up didn't help the situation at all. If anything, they made you cry even more intensely.

How can the best time of your lives just go down the drain, completely forgotten. None of this was fair, none of this should've ever happened and no matter how much you attempted to convince yourself, ultimately you're the only one to blame for the reckless actions. Even a bloody break up would've been far more better than this, at least that way Hiccup would've still hold on to everything you've been through together. But now...

You were crying and wheezing for what felt like an hour until there was a knock on the door. Part of you was hoping Hiccup would be the one to show up, though it was only Astrid's voice that rang from the other side.

"(Y/N)?" She said and you quickly stood up, wiping away the tears and your running nose.

Your voice seemed caught up in your throat as you struggled to form the words. In the end you still managed to choke up 'coming' with your raspy voice.

You sniffed and combed your hair with your fingers the best you can, trying to be at least somewhat presentable. You took the handle and opened the door, revealing the blonde who was standing there with a concerned look. Her shoulders slumped when she saw your wretched state. Your hair tangled up from all the pulling, your cheek red and tear-stained and worst of all your bloodshot eyes which made you look like you've been crying for a whole century.

The strong (Y/N) that she always knew was no longer standing in front of her, instead now there was a crushed soul that's been pretending for far too long. Your true colours had finally been revealed and it was a devastating sight that Astrid was not used to seeing.

"Hey! What's up?" Astrid watched you grin broadly and fake amusement in your voice when you were clearly far from it. The crack in your voice gave it all away and Astrid just placed a hand on your shoulder.

"(Y/N)... You don't have to pretend." Astrid's words escaped with a sigh and you laughed.

"Pretending? Who's pretending? I'm not pretending. Why should I be pretending?" You spoke so rapidly with your head and arms flailing around with exaggeration. Of course you were pretending, everyone from ten feet radius could notice that you were putting on a fake act of nonchalance. And it was was all because of Astrid, she has been your role model ever since you met her. Being so calm and composed even in the toughest situations, not once have you seen her break and you wanted to be just like her.

"We both know you're hurting." Astrid said with such softness you never knew she had. Her eyebrows were creased together forming a sad, condoling look on her face. And that was all it took for you to burst into tears once again. You felt so weak in front of her, you didn't want her or anyone else too see you like this. But when Astrid wrapped you into a heartwarming hug, you cried your eyes out.

She held you tight like a loving mother, rubbing calming circles on your back. It was nice. You didn't knew Astrid had a soft spot.

"It's all my fault Astrid. Everything is my fault." You confessed, your voice intensely quivering. And that's when Astrid pushed herself off you, though her hands remained clutching your shoulders tightly.

"No. Look at me, look at me." You refused to open your eyes until Astrid's tone became more assertive so you had no other choice than to comply.

"All of this happened because of Viggo. None of this is your wrongdoing. And if I ever hear you blame yourself, I swear I'll be the one to catapult you straight to Valhalla." Astrid warned dangerously. You realized she was quoting your words from yesterday and that made you chuckle lightly. In return, the threatening look on Astrid's face disappeared and it was replaced by a small smile of victory, for she had managed to make you a bit happy.

"But it sucks you know, having the person you love the most forget about you just like that." You sighed, wiping away the tears while Astrid just watched.

"Hiccup must be pretty bumped up too. I mean think of how hard it is for him now." Astrid replied and your stomach dropped with guilt. All this time you were preoccupied with thinking how Hiccup doesn't remember your relationship, so much so that not once did you consider how he's feeling generally about the new surroundings and all the new information he got. Your face slowly changed from guilt to askance when a thought occurred to you.

"Hey Astrid?" You asked and the blonde hummed in response. "Did you and the others used to bully Hiccup? Or is he just confused and making things up?"

Astrid's face dropped in a second and immediately she looked away in shame. Even if she didn't say anything, judging from her body language, you could say it was true.

"I wouldn't say 'bully'. We just joked around with him, it was nothing serious. I mean I never said anything." Astrid crossed her arms while you watched in disbelief. How can she say that it wasn't serious when Hiccup looked so damaged and broken, filled with self-loathing and it was all because of them. Yet here she is, denying the fact that their words were just a joke.

"And then when he started gaining popularity everyone wanted to be his friend right? How hypocritical." You said, murmuring the last sentence. You had so much to comment about their actions but you chose not to because it will only lead up to an unnecessary quarrel. Yet you still felt that it was highly offensive from their side.

"Look, I don't know what you're implying but we all decided to leave that in the past and so should you." Astrid replied quite harshly and then before you could say anything, Astrid spun around and left. She bid you a good night while you remained gaping at her.

Hiccup was always acting nice towards the gang but now you started wondering if he ever felt resent towards them, if he ever thought about the past and how they treated him. But you pushed those thoughts away, instead you focused on tomorrow since it will be a big day.

-----

The next morning you thought everything would go smoothy and just as planned. You were dead wrong.

So many ideas were running through your mind and you had so many plans ready to be set in motion, but they were all shut down the moment you saw Valka and Stoick descending from sky. They looked so magnificent flying together, but you were too busy internally panicking to care about that.

Why are they here? Do they know what happened? What are they going to say?

When they landed, your heart started beating million times faster.

Stoick got off Skullcrusher so fast, you'd think he was on a race. He frantically rushed over to you and you noticed the worried expression he had which was quite frankly, a very rare sight.

"Hello lass, we got the letter. Where is he? Is Hiccup awake?" Stoick's accelerated voice made it clear that he was indeed feeling anxious and wanted to see his son asap. You nodded and pointed inside Hiccup's hut which you planned to go just a moment ago, but Stoick beat you to it. He slammed open the doors and probably startled Hiccup, but you didn't hear any squeak.

Just as Valka reached you, both of you heard Hiccup exclaim 'dad' happily, as if he hadn't seen him for years. Valka and you gave each other a greeting nod before walking inside as well.

While talking to the chief, Hiccup had the biggest smile you've seen these days, though it quickly fell when his eyes landed on his mother.
"Who's this?" He asked casually and the room suddenly went silent.

You could literally hear Valka's heart shattering at the spot. She looked absolutely devastated. "What do you mean Hiccup? I'm your mother..." Valka's said as she took a step closer to Hiccup who simply squinted his eyes at her.

"Um... My mom is dead." Hiccup replied, putting unneeded emphasis on dead. Valka gasped ever so silently and snapped her head to Stoick who looked shocked as well. But the surprise lasted little because soon Stoick narrowed his eyes and unexpectedly turned around to you instead.

"What's the meaning of this?" He asked, sounding like he was on the verge of throwing a massive tantrum. You gulped, now feeling everyone's eyes on your small form.

"Hiccup lost his memory and doesn't remember most things." You briefly explained and watched as their faces fell. "Its like he has a completely different mind-set now. Kind of stuck in the past in a way."

"That's impossible." Stoick vexed.

"He doesn't remember me nor Toothless and now miss Valka." You added. Hiccup had been looking left and right at all of you, maybe even slightly displeased that you were talking like he wasn't there. But what's for certain is that everyone in the room was confused as hell.

But Hiccup stopped thinking and looked at you when you mentioned Valka. His mother was called like that and so is this unknown woman. Was there any chance she is his who she says she is? Hiccup was about to pipe in the conversation, but Stoick spoke first.

"Who's responsible for this?! How did it happen?" He seethed and you could no longer maintain a stable eye-contact with him. This was it. You had to tell them now. But seeing the furious expression on Stoick's face made you the most reluctant.

"Its my fault." You said more quieter. "We were on a m-mission to save the dragons and, and he fell off Toothless. I had to catch him... B-But it was too late, he fell...When he woke up he didn't remember who I am or where he is." You said and added a few more other informations about the gang and Toothless as well.

All the while you were explaining, Stoick was still and unblinking. The only movement was his chest rising and falling fast as was his hastened breathing. But this was even more scarier than him exploding with anger, the silent rage was the worst you could get. And you could literally see the fire behind his eyes as he impatiently waited for you to finish.

When you were done talking, there was a moment of silence that followed. Stoick just watched with an emotionless look plastered on his face.

"(Y/N), let's step outside of a moment." Stoick's voice was chillingly cold so much so it sent shivers down your spine. You followed after the chief with your head hanging low, gaze remaining down on the floor. You didn't want to go with him, but you had no other choice. You had undoubtedly crossed the line this time and you feared what Stoick will do next.

When the two of you walked out of the hut, Stoick took a few steps away and you followed like a lost puppy. He stopped suddenly and turned around with the scariest glare you've ever seen on him.

"Out of all the irresponsible things you've done, this is the worst one yet! You had one job, (Y/N), one job! And that was to grab Hiccup and get out of there, but you couldn't even do that! You are the most useless person I have ever seen!" Stoick started yelling. His loud tone booming throughout the whole island.

"Now Hiccup lost his memory and you're the only one to blame for that! Maybe you even wanted him to fall. Is that right?"

"N-No-"

"You Outcasts are always trying to ruin people's lives! Its in your blood. I was foolish to even think you would actually be different from them. But for Hiccup's sake I didn't say anything." Stoick said. "I always wondered what he saw in you. You're just some mindless imbecile." He spat bitterly. "Now prove yourself useful for once and leave Hiccup alone."

With that Stoick walked away, not caring how damaging his words really were. He walked in the hut like nothing happened. His wife and son both turned to look at him. They listened to everything he had said, since his loud voice could be heard from miles away.

Valka thought what Stoick shouted towards you wasn't fair and that you didn't deserve those words, but she didn't want to mention anything in fear of starting an argument. Hiccup on the other hand didn't know what to think. He didn't know you very well to judge, but what he did know is that you seemed to really really like him. What you said the night before really touched his heart and you seemed sincerely guilty for everything that led to this whole situation. Hiccup felt moderately sad for you, he didn't believe that you would deliberately let him fall to his doom.

"Don't talk to her ever again." Stoick threatened his son, but Valka wasn't going to allow that.

"Stoick! You can't ground him like that. Hiccup is old enough to make his own decisions." She complained. Stoick had never seen her this aggressive about something so he decided not to be so brash.

"Very well then. Do as you wish Hiccup. But don't come crying to me when she stabs you in the back." Stoick crossed his arms while Valka rolled her eyes, fed up with her husband's pointless threatening remarks.

"(Y/N) is a lovely girl, she would never do anything to hurt him." Valka countered.

"Sure. But don't forget there are plenty other fish in the sea." Stoick scoffed and Valka gasped, like she had been personally offended.

"Don't say that!" She fumed.

"What? Its true. Just because they were together before doesn't mean they should be again." Stoick replied and Valka watched him in utter disbelief.

"I can't believe you right now." She muttered while her husband shrugged as if he didn't say the most absurd thing. Hiccup felt as he was watching an angel and demon going back and forth about the same thing. While his father was depicting you as the most horrible person in existence, the woman reassured him that you were the nicest person ever that wouldn't even hurt a fly. Hiccup truly felt conflicted at this point.

"Okay, can we just not talk about her now? Please? " Hiccup piped in, desperation noticeable in his tone. Even if he did want to find out where this conversation was going, he wanted to know about his supposed mother more.

So they all agreed to put an end to that subject and talk more about how Hiccup found his mother. Of course even when they told him the full story from start to finish, nothing rang a bell. No memories of that event ever crossed his mind while his parents explained. His mind was totally blank.

He was imagining it happening as they were describing, but he felt absolutely nothing towards it. You'd think he'd be cheerful to have finally met his mother after eighteen years of her absence, but there wasn't even a glimmer of joy in his heart

Valka was just another person. And for a moment Hiccup thought that all of this was one big lie and that his father just remarried a woman with the same name. But he couldn't ignore the fact that they looked so similar, whitening auburn bair, forest green eyes, it was all the same.

They all continued talking about how Hiccup basically managed to convince the whole village that dragons were benevolent, even if Hiccup found it hard to believe, it felt kind of sweet to think that he did something major for once in his life. Stoick carried on and told Hiccup about his first times trying to make the village dragon-friendly, and all those experiences seemed so unbelievable. Even if he tried to remember, it was futile.

But the one thing he couldn't even imagine happening was how he managed to befriend the cool kids. Hiccup never thought he was even worthy enough to hang out with them and now it turns out they're best friends. It was quite outstanding.

"Anyway son, you're welcomed to come back to Berk." Stoick suggested as he got up, a sign that they were leaving. Hiccup's whole face lit up at that thought, he wished for it the moment he woke up. Though now after hearing all the crazy things he supposedly did, Hiccup wasn't soo keen on going back.

"Thanks dad, I'll think about it." Hiccup replied. His parents both hugged him and they walked to the door, bidding their farewell.

"Bye dad and um..." Hiccup began, then his eyes landed on Valka. "And yeah, haha, bye."

Valka's smile dropped a bit, she was expecting Hiccup to say something 'mom' but she understood that it was way too early. He needed time to adjust. So they both waved at their son and walked away to the stables, while Hiccup stayed back in his hut, too nervous to go outside after you told him that he might get lost.

Hiccup walked in and let out a deep sigh, he was yet to collect his thoughts. These days everything was incredibly eventful for him, he was learning new things everyday. Usually nothing exciting happened to him, but now all the drama was revolved around him. The attention was always on him and in all honesty, he loved it. But in the end it always came to one desire. The desire to get back all of his memory.

-----

The next morning, someone knocked on Hiccup's door and it wasn't (Y/N) as he expected. She was usually the one to visit him the most which is why he was quite surprised to find Fishlegs standing outside his hut. Even though Fishlegs never said anything mean towards Hiccup, he still laughed along when the others made fun of him. So Hiccup wasn't particularly excited to see him.

"Hey! Are you ready for today?" Fishlegs exclaimed happily, he was acting like Hiccup and him had been best friends since babies, when in reality Hiccup didn't even want to communicate with him.

"For what?" Hiccup dared to ask.

"You'll see, lets go." Fishlegs grinned and just before he could place a friendly hand around Hiccup's shoulder to usher him outside, Hiccup flinched and backed away from the blond boy. He wasn't really fond of touching, especially from Fishlegs and his friends.

"Um... Sure, lets go." Hiccup replied and they both shared an immensely awkward laugh as they started heading Thor knows where. There was a moment of silence and Hiccup let his eyes darted in every direction as he was taking in all the scenery. It was literally his first time being in this place which in his opinion seemed quite decent. Hiccup spun around and got a better look of the outside of his hut. It differed a lot from the other ones, while the other huts were simple with designs, his on the other hand was adorned with complex contraptions. There was no doubt that he made them himself

They entered a big, circular-shaped arena that was in the middle of the island. It was fully made out of metal, stretching high and wide. Hiccup stopped examining the place when his eyes landed on Astrid standing next to the barrels, polishing an axe as usual. His heart skipped a beat.

While Fishlegs and Hiccup walked towards her spot, Hiccup wondered why he was even brought to this strange thing in the first place. It looked like a training area to say the least and everyone knew how much Hiccup dreaded those. He was never skillful with the traditional armoury.

"Where's (Y/N)?" Astrid asked, surprised to see the absence of the (H/C) haired girl who wouldn't miss today's agenda for the world.

"She wasn't in her hut when I checked and Crystal isn't here too." Fishlegs said, simply assuming that she just went to a flight.

"I didn't see her yesterday after Hiccup's parents came." Astrid also added input to the conversation. The speculations only doubled as Astrid and Fishlegs were trying to figure out where (Y/N) could be, that is until Hiccup piped in.

"My dad might've said some rude words to her." He said and the duo stopped to take a look at Hiccup. "He said that everything that happened to me was her fault, that she's just a mindless fool and that she should leave... Or something like that."

"She couldn't have actually left. Could she?" Fishlegs asked and Astrid just patted his back reassuringly.

"This is (Y/N) we're talking about, she wouldn't leave Hiccup just because someone told her." Astrid chuckled and Hiccup just gaped at her, not really caring about whatever they were discussing. He couldn't care less if (Y/N) left. What Hiccup was too fixated on was the blonde who was grinning and when the two of them locked eyes, Hiccup could've sworn his heart leaped out of his chest. Seeing her with a soft grin like that made her look even more alluring and Hiccup couldn't stop staring. She has never looked at him like that.

But then the doors of the place suddenly closed with a loud slam. The sunlight that was emanating from outside was now completely gone and replaced by the fire from the flambeaus. Hiccup had been completely hooked by Astrid that he didn't realize who had entered the room. When he spun around, he shrieked after seeing the enormous black mass standing next to the twins and Snotlout. It was the same dragon from the day before.

"No!" Hiccup shouted immediately and jogged to the other side of the Dome, pressing his back against the metallic walls.

"Hiccup, come on." Tuffnut said as all of them walking over to where Fishlegs and Astrid were standing. Everything was set, all they needed now was Hiccup. But he was still standing on the far end of the Dome, an expression of complete fear covering his face. There was no way he was coming any closer to that dragon. Even if Toothless was watching Hiccup with the sweetest and most harmless gaze, to Hiccup it still seemed like hell's flames were stuck behind those electric green eyes. The irises weren't slits anymore, which made Toothless look less threatening but still Hiccup wouldn't dare move away from his spot.

"You have to bond with your dragon." Fishlegs tried to encourage Hiccup but it was futile.

"He's not my dragon. I hate dragons." Hiccup hissed when they started approaching him.

"Hiccup-" Fishlegs breathed out. He couldn't believe the words coming out of Hiccup's mouth. But then Snotlout, seemingly fed up with Hiccup's behaviour, marched towards the auburn haired boy and grabbed his arm.

"Stop being a whimp and come here!" Snotlout's thunderous voice rang in the Dome as he began dragging Hiccup away from the wall.

"No! Let go of me!" Hiccup recoiled fearfully, but the grip on his hand was far stronger so he wasn't able to get out of Snotlout's hold.

Hiccup felt like he was dragged to his death, but the others found amusement in it. Their laughter was the same as when they were making fun of him, but the stunt they pulled him in now topped everything they have ever done.

"Let's go scaredy cat." Snotlout joked, but Hiccup was too fixated on the dragon who was watching with an expectant look. They insisted that this was normal but to Hiccup 'bonding' seemed more like being devoured alive.

When the dragon took a step forward, Hiccup jumped in surprise and ended up falling to the ground. It was at this point that Snotlout finally let go of him in order not to fall down with him. Hiccup took the change and scrammed away.

Everything around him was spinning, he was so disoriented and had hard time apprehending where he was standing. Rapid breathes were escaping his lips, but it was as if no air was entering his lungs and Hiccup felt like he was suffocating. The gang's voices were playing in the background, but Hiccup couldn't focus on what they were saying. Of course they tried to calm him down, but Hiccup simply backed away from them.

He had experienced this so many times before and they were always the cause. They always pushed him to his breaking point, every time they would surround him and laugh at him until tears were rolling down Hiccup's cheeks. They'd leave him tucked in himself, with a burning hate of how weak he is.

In the midst of all the darkness he was seeing, a light shone in the place. It was as if heaven's light broke and made everything brighter, but in reality it was just the door being opened by (Y/N) who just stepped inside. He needed to be out of this hellhole as soon as possible. Hiccup darted towards the exit with an unholy speed, he was tripping over his own feet but still managed to reach the door.

They locked eyes for a moment while Hiccup slammed himself on the doorframe. (Y/N)'s eyes widened when she saw the panicked state he was in, he was breathing heavily as if he had been running a marathon.

Before (Y/N) could even utter his name, Hiccup had already fled the scene. (Y/N) stood baffled. What had caused so much disturbance to him?
When (Y/N)'s eyes swept the Dome until she found the source of fear. Toothless.

Snotlout and Astrid were having an intense quarrel, the twins and Fishlegs were taking sides and putting in their own opinions, but they all stopped when (Y/N) showed up with a furious expression.

"What happened? What did you guys do?" (Y/N) growled, not even attempting to hide the dismay.

"Its all Snotlout's fault!" Astrid exclaimed.

"Me? What did I do?" Snotlout immediately retorted, taking full offence.

But (Y/N) have time for their yapping or whoever fault it was, she needed to know what they did in the first place.

"We wanted Hiccup to bond with Toothless, but he freaked out when he saw him." Fishlegs explained finally.

"Did you guys ask him if he even wants to do that?" (Y/N) asked and earned awkward looks from the gang. As the silence spread it was apparent that they didn't take time to consider that Hiccup wasn't ready at the moment.

"Well it was more of a surprise." Ruffnut added and (Y/N) didn't suppress the eye roll. It was obviously the twin's idea to do that, they never understood that sometimes surprises aren't the best option. And often times it could have awful consequences like this one.

"You can't just push someone into doing something they're not prepared for." (Y/N) replied with an exasperated tone, pinching the bridge of her nose firmly.

"We just wanted to help." Tuffnut said in defence. But even if their intentions were good, the damage was still done. They could whine all they want over who's fault it was, though (Y/N) had to check up on Hiccup, he looked very spooked out from whatever happened in here.

With a headshake of disbelief, (Y/N) spun around and walked away from the gang. She eyed them for a moment before speaking. "Next time don't be so persistent."

And with that she was out the door.

-----

When you reached Hiccup's hut and knocked, you expected him to open the door or at least give out a reply. But none of that occurred and you were left standing outside with only the wind keeping you company.

You waited for a couple of seconds before knocking again, multiple thoughts running through your head. But this time, thankfully there was a reply, a very harsh one that is.

"Go away!" You heard Hiccup yell furiously from inside, his voice cracking at the end. He had obviously been crying just a few seconds ago and it broke your heart that you weren't able to go inside and comfort him.

"Hiccup please, open the door." You implored, not wanting to hear him suffer like this all alone. "I'm here for you."

"I don't need you! Leave." You'd be lying if you didn't say that Hiccup's words didn't sting at all. Even if he probably didn't mean it, it hurt hearing him say that. And no matter how many times you begged him to open the door, Hiccup didn't budge at all. The desperate attempts he made to chase you away were futile. You kept on pestering him to let you in and that made Hiccup even agitated. You expected him to slam open the door, but instead he went with the second option, silent treatment.

Hiccup would usually say something like 'go away', 'leave' and some other words he didn't know were soul crushing. Though now you were met with nothing. And you were beginning to realize that maybe you shouldn't have pushed his buttons so much. Because at least a moment ago he was responsive, now he didn't say a word.

Nonetheless, you stayed by the door as the minutes ticked by. Occasionally you would hear Hiccup's stifled sobs and it tore you apart deeply. But you didn't know why he was crying this much. Of course you understood that he was fearful of Toothless back in the Dome, but he wasn't in any danger at the moment.

You had your back pressed against the wall and watched the sea. You didn't say anything for a while, just waited for Hiccup to calm down. You were mad at the gang for doing this to him, they should've took baby steps or simply prepare Hiccup that he would be meeting Toothless. Though they seemed to forget that Hiccup wasn't the same dragon-loving fellow anymore. Instead he was frightened of them, just like any average person.

In the midst of the silence, you heard a click from behind. This made you leap away from the wall and walk a few steps away, as the sound of the door being open followed afterwards. You didn't want to seem eager so you casually stood there as Hiccup peered his head out of the hut. He looked as if he was searching for something and when his eyes landed on you, a frown tugged on his lips.

"Oh, you're still here." He murmured. Hiccup didn't seem in such a bad state like you thought, he looked quite composed like he hasn't just had a breakdown a minute ago.

"I told you I'm here for you. I'm not leaving your side." You said, leaning in for a comforting hug, but Hiccup backed away and made things ten times more awkward. You pursed your lips, debating what to do after this encounter.

"Um...okay." Hiccup said, not catching your gaze.

There was a short period of pause where you contemplated what to do next. You didn't want to simply change the theme and act as if nothing happened, you wanted to show Hiccup that you cared.

"What happened in the Dome?" You asked, feeling as if you were missing much of the full story. Either the gang didn't want to tell you something or they believed they didn't do anything wrong.

"Nothing." Hiccup shot back.

This conversation was clearly going downhill, but you couldn't just leave it at that. You continued talking, which might've made things even worse, but at least it was distracting Hiccup from whatever he was going through. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop them."

"It doesn't matter. I'm used to it." Hiccup said, but his words made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Its just-" Hiccup blurted out, looking like he was going to spill his soul out, everything that has been bugging him all this time. But then in a split second he shut his mouth and looked away, completely shutting down. "It's nothing. Forget about it."

"Where were you earlier?" Hiccup asked before you could say anything else. It was nice that he cared enough to ask, but you could tell that he was doing that just to dodge the questions about him. You knew that if you started bothering him with questions, Hiccup would no doubt slam the door in your face. So you'd rather keep talking to him than being on the other side of the door.

"Uh, I was on a different island." You gave a vague answer, but still truthful. After that horrible encounter with Stoick, all you needed was to be away from there as far as possible. Of course you weren't leaving forever, but still needed time to cool off. Your go-to hideaway was always Cherry Blossom island which is where you decided to go. After arriving there you immediately noticed that something was out of the ordinary. You found two peculiar items next to a big tree which weren't there the last time you were here. There was a single wooden plank of wood and two strings of rope.

As you started nearing them, you were wondering how they got here in the first place. There was no way someone could've arrived on this island and came to this exact spot, people would have had to walk miles to reach this place. Which brought the second option that the rope and board were dumped by Hiccup and that they were parts of some new invention. You sadly took them in your hands as you realized that they will remain unfinished until Hiccup remembers what he was trying to build that day. You tried to rack your brain to figure out what he was planning to make, but nothing came to your mind.

You recalled the time when Hiccup was gone for hours and would never tell you where he was, and after putting two and two you concluded that he might have been coming here to prepare this, whatever it was. It was around the time of your anniversary and these objects were undoubtedly a part of surprise. A frown etched on your lips when you thought how you might never know what he intended to make.

"Sorry my dad said those things." Hiccup apologized on behalf of Stoick and you shook your head.

"Its okay. Stoick didn't seem to liked me that much, especially when I told him that I'm an Outcast." You laughed and expected Hiccup to do so as well, but after taking a look at him, you found Hiccup staring at you like you had said the most atrocious thing.

"You're... an Outcast?" Hiccup cringed, his voice showing the disgust he was desperately trying to hide from his face. Hiccup just stared with a mixture of disbelief and revulsion. His face was screaming I was dating an Outcast?

You were certain he was thinking that, how could he have brought himself to be with someone from such a disdainful tribe. You didn't know what thoughts were running through Hiccup's mind when you first told him about your heritage, but he definitely took it nicely. But it was different that time, he actually liked you back then and probably didn't want to say anything rude. But now nothing was stopping him from revealing his true reaction.

You gave a reluctant nod, it was too late to back away now. Never before has the anticipation eaten you a live like this while you awaited to see what Hiccup would say.

"Wow..." He muttered disappointedly Hiccup eyed you with an uncertain gaze and you quickly grew tense under his watchful eyes. Even if it wasn't the reaction you were expecting to get, you'd choose this one instead of anything else. Thankfully Hiccup was still polite enough to keep his judgemental comments to himself and didn't say anything else, for now. You couldn't help but wonder if Hiccup will see you differently after this, whether you blew out all chances of ever getting back together with him.

"How did we even meet?" Hiccup questioned the thing you didn't want to answer the most. Sure you can just tell him the whole story and everything from the beginning, but to Hiccup it will be another pointless event that he wouldn't be able to remember. Just like anything else you've mentioned to him, Hiccup would simply stare with a lost expression.

You wanted Hiccup to one day look at you and start recalling everything, even if that seemed impossible at the moment, you still wanted to believe that it could happen. So with a smile full of hope, you reached to Hiccup's head and ruffled his already messy hair.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out."

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