Just What I Needed (53)

For once Keely woke up naturally or at least on her own accord. Yawning, she curled tighter about herself, attempting to keep the little bit of sleep she had left to her while she snuggled comfortably into the baggy sweater, breathing in the scent contently. But her eyes flickered open and the just the thought of Seth.


Sighing, she turned her head, finding the soft morning light showering the bus.


Swinging her legs over the side of the bunk, she pulled herself into a sitting position, hunching her shoulders cautiously as to not smack her head onto the roof again while she shoved the blankets to the end \of the bunk.


Resisting – with great difficulty – not to smell the hoodie again, Keely rubbed the sleep wearily from her eyes.


Since she was beginning to put herself more into the world of the living, the voice from the front of the bus finally reached her ears. They were speaking in hushed tones, making Keely frown slightly in confusion. Very rarely did anyone bother to be quiet in the mornings.


But when she dropped down to her feet, it was to her surprise that Marco and Colton’s beds were empty while Seth was still in his. He was sleeping on his side, his back to her, a little smirk stretched across her mouth when she noticed the pillow making his hair stand up on end on one side.


For a moment, she lingered there indecisively, her hand tapping lightly on her thigh.


The conversation from last night was burnt into her memory, and she still didn’t know what she could do. What could she do, after all it wasn’t like she’d had some enormous impact in his life, not the same why Marco and Colton had and they hadn’t managed to heal him yet. She was just plain Keely, in years all she’d be to him was an artist he once produced and shared a bus with. The thought caused her heart to jerk painfully.


Deciding it would be better all around to simple let him sleep, he got so little of it as it was and she’d hate to take it away from him, Keely just made her way down from the bunks, pondering her previous thoughts.


Was it so terrible that she didn’t want to look back years from now, wherever she might be in life, and Seth to be just a passing memory from her first album? It was the same with the boys and Marissa too, yet it was different because... well, it was Seth. Everything was different when it came to Seth with her.


Chewing on her lip thoughtfully, Keely poured herself a cup of coffee. She took the time to put a bagel in the toaster for herself before taking her and her mug to the table where Marco and Colton were sitting across from her.


“Morning,” she greeted unenthusiastically, plopping down on the seat beside Colton.


They chorused their good mornings as Keely sipped on her coffee, not paying attention to the conversation.


What would it be like with Seth now, after all that he’d told her last night? Would it be awkward? Oh, would he be regretting telling her? For all she knew he could’ve been drinking last night and the alcohol had loosened his tongue into telling her those secrets. For some reason that thought saddened her greatly.


When a socked foot nudged her bared calf beneath the table, Keely gave a jolt, looking across at Marco with wide eyes. “Hm?”


He sent her a confused look, probably pondering what she’d been thinking so hard about, but didn’t question her about it all the same. “We were wondering what you were going to do for Christmas?”


Feeling the familiar ache in her stomach at the holiday that was advancing quickly on them, Keely gave a shrug. Her feelings towards home were a mess, she couldn’t sort them out. A part of her only wanted to go home for Christmas, be the same little kid that would wake her dad up early in the morning and be so excited when Joe would show up halfway through unwrapping presents.


But then there was the newly formed part of herself, the one that had been growing since the day that she’d left. The part that had been jaded by all those phone calls that had gone unanswered by her father, that short but very bitter argument and of course the new information she’d gained about her mother.


Yes, her mind was a maze of dead ends and loops when it came to Bellingham.


“I don’t really have a choice about it, do I? We’ll be in Green Bay to do the show on the twenty second, right? And since I plan to stay on the tour, I can’t bail to go home. Then Maureen has the studio all booked up.”


“Because we have to have the album done by New Years.”


At the sound of Seth’s voice, Keely’s eyes darted up. He sent her a smile while dropping into the seat beside Marco, handing her half of the bagel she’d put in the toaster while keeping the other for him.


Grateful, she took an enormous bite, making a pleased noise in the back of her throat. Gulping down the bite, Keely refocused upon Seth. How did he manage to look sexy with his hair sticking up on one side? It really wasn’t fair. “Do you think we’ll be able to finish it in time?” she asked, trying to keep herself from blushing at her thoughts.


“Yeah,” he replied confidently, taking a bite from his half of the bagel as he leaned back in the seat. “We’ve just got to record About You, mix a few things until it’s exactly the way we want it, then we’re all good.”


“So when does studio time start?”


“On the twenty sixth, Maureen gave us the holidays off, and then we’ve got to spend almost every minute in the studio after. We have to have it done by New Years Eve morning because we’re flying back into New York that night, then a few days later, record release.”


Trying to ignore the fact that she’d prefer to be working over Christmas, it would take her mind off of being away from family, Keely grinned, leaning her elbow on the table. “Why do you know more about this than me?”


He smirked easily. “You’re too busy getting high, someone has to pay attention.”


Rolling her eyes at him, she took another mammoth bite of the bagel. Not awkward, she mused, focusing on the table in front of her. In fact, he seemed the normal Seth that she liked to bicker with about music in the studio even when they agreed on most things. To be truthful, it felt like their bickering in the studio just brought up new ideas; they didn’t seem to just disagree anymore.


Unable to help herself, Keely peeked up from beneath her lashes towards him. He was grinning at Marco as the latter pulled a funny face, the moment made a smile light on her mouth even though she had no idea what they were speaking about, not so much as listening to the words.


Shaking his head, Seth looked back to her, asking, “Do you want to get started on the questions?”


“Huh?”


“You’ve got that interview that we’re going to be showing up for in about four hours,” Seth explained, the smirk on his mouth broadening at her. “You know the one that decides if you’re going to be on the tour anymore.”


Narrowing her eyes at him, Keely leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “Did they send you the questions already?”


“Yeah, we’ve just got to get answers ready, answers that are not going to piss off even more people then we already have. It shouldn’t be too hard; you memorize song lyrics faster than anyone I’ve ever met before.”


Unconsciously her nose crinkled up. “That’s because I like song lyrics. Being forced to go on television to talk to some talk show host about something that I never did? Not so much.”


“Man up,” Marco advised as he stared at the deck of cards Colton was shuffling.


“I’ll be back in a second.”


But Keely didn’t so much as glance at Seth as he shoved his way up from the table, taking her coffee with him, as she was too busy glaring at Marco. “Did you seriously just tell me to man up?”


“Its good advice,” he returned reasonably, taking the set of cards dealt to him. “You put on a polite smile, laugh at all jokes mentioned-”


“Act like a tool!” called Seth from deeper in the bus.


“-answer all the questions without any controversy, and be altogether a person that people can’t hate,” finished Marco as if his friend had never spoke.


Giving a slight snort at the advice given to her by both of the boys, Keely reached her hand out blindly only to scowl when she realized her mug was gone. Settling to finish nibbling on the half of her bagel, she turned her eyes back to the two boys still sitting at the table who appeared to be playing Go Fish.


“So are you two going to come give moral support backstage at the TV studio?” Keely asked.


“Nah, you’ve got your producer to be your babysitter for the show backstage, we’re going to go hang out with Marissa and find some coffee shop to watch you be the good little girl,” answered Colton.


“Oh, my heroes,” Keely retorted sarcastically.


He grinned, looking up as he brushed the curls from his forehead. “Just focus on the questions and nothing else until the interview is done, you’ll be fine.”


Thinking that would be simple enough, Keely sent him a small turn off the lips, popping the tiny remaining piece of the bagel into her mouth as she let her eyes wander to the back of the bus, wondering where Seth had gone.


But all thoughts fled from her mind hastily as she gulped down, her eyes bulging ever so slightly.


Seth had taken off the white tee he’d been wearing, it was hanging off the edge of his bunk and was making his way to them with a black shirt in hand, his eyes focused down on it. With the sleep rumpled hair, defined muscular chest, those abs that she knew from experience were hard to the touch that lead down to those hipbones where his dark sweatpants hung loosely; it was enough to make anyone’s mind go blank. At least Keely was hoping it wasn’t just her.


As he slipped the shirt over his head, snatching up his laptop as he moved, she flushed deeply, forcing her eyes back to the table.


Yes, it was going to be so easy for her to follow Colton’s advice.


Because she was never distracted by anything.




“You’re done.”


“Really?” asked Keely, straightening in her seat, her eyes shining hopefully.


The bored looking hairdresser gave her a flat look in the mirror. “Yeah. Go do whatever you want, just don’t touch your hair.”


Keeping all snappy comments to herself, Keely slipped out of chair, rushing dangerously to the door she knew would lead her to the waiting room. It was dangerous because of the ankle boots that gave her a lot more height than she was used to, but she risked it because she didn’t want to be alone anymore.


Sure, there were people flocking all around her during the time spent getting ready in the back of the television studio. But she was adept enough to notice when she walked into the room and people smirked before turning around, sending her knowing smiles over their shoulders, making it more than obvious who they’d been talking about moments before. And would continue talking about her in carrying hushed voices just feet away.


To say the least Keely had spent a lot of time grinding her teeth while the people were making her presentable for the talk show.


Keely had heard more gossip about herself than she’d ever cared to hear. All the way from her taking breaks to go shout up in the alley way between the buildings to the latest post on some website that showed her and Seth’s pictures side by side, proving to the world that she’d been wearing his shirts lately.


In all honesty, she couldn’t understand why people would be concerned with what clothes she wore, but said people were apparently not that open to sharing. At the beginning she’d thrown them sharp looks, but they’d only responded with sending her falsely sweet smiles that didn’t show their teeth, so Keely had given up. Instead just staring in front of her, trying to think about the second verse of About You that she was working on with Seth. The lyrics still weren’t perfect enough.


She almost barrelled through the door in relief.


Her eyes quickly scanned the room, and she immediately found her momentary saviour.


Seth was standing, his arms crossed in front of his chest, in a pair of casual faded jeans and that long sleeved black shirt from the bus.


In front of him was the host of the show, going by the name of Richard Windsor, his salt and pepper hair smooth and brushed back, his face clean shaven as he wore a pair of slacks, a button up shirt and a tie.


To say the least, seeing Seth and the man side by side was rather contrasting.


“-yes, yes, yes,” said Richard in a comforting tone, Keely catching onto the conversation as she moved closer to them, hearing the host’s smooth voice that had earned him his first radio show in the eighties. “Don’t worry about it...”


The man trailed off when his eyes lighted upon her, a smile coming onto his face. “Ah, Miss Staub, I wanted to have the chance to say hello before we go on stage.”


At the words Seth turned around, and Keely watched his face flit from shock, confusion and then to clear amusement. She sent him a sharp look, willing him silently to stay silent until the host was out of earshot even though it wasn’t his nature, then turned to Richard. “Well, here I am, hello,” she said, shaking the hand that he offered.


“Usually we would have done a run through of the interview this afternoon, but we’ll just have to make do with the time we have, won’t we?”


He had that aura about him that just made you feel comfortable, maybe it was the soothing voice he was using or that soft smile that reminded her of doting grandparents, but Keely felt her shoulders loosening. “Yeah, I guess so.”


“I’ll see you there, the show producer will come talk to you about the finer details, but now I have to go get on stage.”


For a moment Keely watched the older man as he walked towards the stage and when she heard the swell of applause, she turned back to Seth.


But that relaxation that had come over her before disappeared when she looked at him, making her shoulders stiffen abruptly as she folded her arms across her chest and glared across the few feet between them. He burst out laughing, the sound sent a shiver skittering up her spine as she thought about how nice of a sound it was as he laughed with that dimple in his cheek, but she managed to keep herself glowering at him.


In all honesty, she couldn’t blame him even though she refused to let her expression soften. The last time he had seen her was when she’d left him in the waiting area to get ready for the television show almost an hour and a half before, still wearing the clothes she’d changed into on the bus. Meaning she’d been wearing a pair of sneakers, ripped jeans with her Fats Domino tee shirt beneath a denim jacket, her hair in its usually messy style that waved slightly around her shoulders.


“Hey Nancy Drew,” he grinned, still laughing.


Frowning, Keely looked down at herself, pointing her shoe out slightly. “It’s not that bad,” she deadpanned, but her voice sounded unconvincing to her own ears.


It really was that bad.


Maureen apparently was really trying to make this good girl look convincing.


The moment she’d gotten in the dressing room, she’d been dressed, and this time she no longer looked like the rock star doll in leather pants or a jacket, now she just looked like a doll. They’d thrown her in knee socks that Keely felt clashed awfully with the ankle boots, a black pencil skirt that reached just above her knees, a grey tank top that was tucked into the high waist skirt with a bright white cardigan over top. Her hair had been ironed until it fell perfectly pin straight over her shoulders, and her bangs had been held away from her face by a plain white head band.


Feeling awkward Keely rocked back onto her heels, but then she realized she really was wearing onto heels and had to grab Seth’s arm before she went tumbling backwards. “I don’t look like myself,” she blurted, “I know when I go on stage I’m usually wearing things that make me look more bad ass than I actually am. And that photo shoot was different too. But this isn’t me.”


The laughter died on his lips, Seth reaching out to steady her with a hand on each other her arms. “Rock and roll is all about attitude, rebel, it’s not about what you’re wearing or what you look like, that’s the best part.”


“Kurt Cobain said “The worst crime is faking it.”,” Keely countered, clamping her hands to his arms, “And this? This is faking it.”


“If you want to do that, then you got to listen to Jimi Hendrix too. “Music doesn’t lie.” You’re going up there, you’re going to do the acoustic set for Breaking Time with your band, and then after the interview you’ll do For You. It won’t matter what they’ve dressed you up as, your music isn’t going to lie.”


Groaning, Keely hung her head. “Sometimes I hate it that you can argue anything.”


“Now you’re just being pessimistic.”


Even though she would have liked to scowl at him, she found herself chuckling as she lifted her head to smile at him. But just found herself freezing as she looked up, the sight of that crooked grin on his face making her heart skip a beat.


Suddenly he let go of one of her arms, making her hand fall uselessly to her side as the other continued to grip his tightly, the smile sliding off his face. With his free hand, he reached out, tucking the oddly straight hair that was caught in the headband behind her ear, which she was beginning to think was a habit of his when they got physically closer. But that didn’t mean it lost its effect, every time it felt as if her stomach dropped.


“If you touch my face the makeup artist is going to hunt you down,” Keely mumbled stupidly, staring up at him with a glazed expression. “Apparently they had to paint me with makeup to get the “natural” look.”


The grin came back abruptly, but he didn’t move away. “Defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”


“I’d say so,” she returned thoughtlessly, her voice breathless.


“And don’t worry about going out there,” Seth told her, pulling her slightly closer by the hand that hadn’t let go of her arm.


Whispering, she replied, “I am scared.”


“This is the most cliché advice in history, but just be yourself, rebel. You’ll have them charmed in a few minutes.”


The unbelieving snort came out of her mouth without her noticing, still much too focused on how close he was. Hadn’t she gotten advice about keeping her attention on something earlier? Oh, who cared? “Me charming someone? I’ll probably just scare them away.”


“You really-”


“Ah, Keely, Seth!”


At the sound of their names, Keely shoved herself away from him, stumbling back a clumsy step. “Hi!” she exclaimed, making her voice much too bright as she turned her head to where the voice had come from, refusing to look at Seth.


The sophisticated woman with the smooth black hair gave them an impatient look, her long strides eating up the ground towards them. “Well, I just need you, Keely,” she announced, sending Seth a look that Keely couldn’t decipher, but she knew instinctively she didn’t like. “Because even if he is your producer, I don’t think he plans to accompany you while you give the first performance?”


Even though the words were phrased as if spoken to Keely, the question was clearly posed to Seth.


And it was with incredulous eyes that Keely watched the mask slip over Seth’s face as clear as day. It replaced that open look that he’d been wearing just moments before, becoming an arrogant substitution as he arched an eyebrow at the woman. “No, she has her own band for that.”


“Well, then, we’ll just have to separate the two of you,” said the woman, tugging Keely by the arm as she sent Seth an annoyed expression.


Not knowing what to do, Keely let herself be dragged behind the woman. She’d been feeling nerves about going on stage as someone who she wasn’t, then the moment with Seth had distracted her and now she was just feeling confused.


“Hey, rebel.”


At the sound of her nickname, Keely turned her head to see Seth grinning at her, his hands stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans.


“What?” she returned, finding it hard to slow down the woman was still trying to haul her forward.


“Mick Jagger wore polo shirts in the sixties.”


Despite the bewilderment of the moment Keely found herself smiling, and shaking her head ever so slightly as she looked at him. But it wasn’t until the woman had pulled her forward to the side door of the stage, speaking so quickly that Keely couldn’t catch a word.


Instantly Keely began to feel muddled as she stared up at the woman who’s mouth was moving in a blur.


But before she could ask her to repeat anything, she was being shoved onto the stage.


The crowd in front of her started clapping and yelling in greeting, although Keely didn’t know if that was only because they were told to do so. She could hear the voice of Richard Webster, but she couldn’t understand a word that he was saying. In fact, she was feeling a bit numb as she walked forward.


The stage had been set up for her and her back up band. At the moment it was set up for the acoustic sound of Breaking Time with the drum kit at the back, then two stools sitting in front of it where the bassist and rhythm guitar players would be sitting and finally, in front of everything else, stood the one single stool where she was to sit. Keely knew enough to know that during her interview the stage would be demolished and changed around to fit For You, there would be no stools for that song.


Finding her back up band already on stage, Keely sent them a tight lipped smile, saying, “Hey guys,” as she passed.


She didn’t miss their utterly confused and disbelieving looks.


Not bothering to send them another look, she picked up her guitar as she passed, slipping the strap of the acoustic over her shoulder before taking her seat at the front. Giving the crowd a welcoming smile, she began the intro of the song, not needing to introduce herself as she took over lead guitar as she always did with the song.


While she was playing, Keely found that Hendrix was right, music doesn’t lie when you’re playing it as long as you put your emotions in it. It was all honesty.


With the skill of an artist that had been touring for long enough, she played through the song with technical ease, holding onto the notes in a softer voice than she used for any of her other music.


But when the song ended, the calm that came with the music fled from her instantly.


Getting to her feet as gracefully as she could, she pulled her guitar back off, placing it on the stand before moving to the opposite separate part of the stage where the interview section was. On that side there were couches and rugs, but Keely felt like shrinking away, she would much more prefer to go back to her music.


As she was running through the answers she and Seth had prepared on the bus in her head, Keely wasn’t ready – nor was she suspecting – the warm hug or the kiss on the cheek that Richard Windsor gave her as she neared the couches. Her eyes bulged dangerously and she barely had time to return the pressure as she was sure was expected of her before he was letting go of her and gesturing for her to take a seat.


Carefully, Keely sat, keeping her knees tight together and tugging down the hem of her skirt. She’d managed embarrassed herself enough already, she didn’t need to do that too.


“That song, Breaking Time, has reached number five on the US Billboard charts, and people are suspecting it’s going to reach number one,” said Richard in an informing tone, giving her a calming look. “Not to mention it’s continuing to climb steadily on charts across the world, how do you feel about that?”


In that moment Keely was to realize that it was much easier for her to perform in front of a crowd that size than to just talk, but somehow she managed to keep her voice even and not stumble over her words. “It’s amazing,” she answered, trying to put a smile on her face, “I never expected that to happen. I always hoped of course, but it’s surreal when it actually happens to you.”


“You’re right off your first tour, aren’t you, Keely?” he continued smoothly.


 “Yes, just got off the bus a couple hours ago, actually,” she answered, wearing what she hoped was a warm smile.


“How are you liking touring so far? I’ve been told that this is your first ever, and you’re the opening act in a stadium tour!”


Pulling in deep breaths, she kept that smile pasted on her face. This isn’t too hard, she told herself, you know the answers to all of these questions. “I’m loving it so far, at first it was overwhelming I was terrified to go out on stage, but it’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever done in my life.”


“What about the people you’re on tour with?”


“I’m very good friends with all of them,” Keely recited. “Marissa and I have always gotten along despite our musical differences, as for NSR, their new album might have pushed them up to some of my favourite artists.”


Richard winked at her, saying, “And what about a certain member of that band? The one that takes over the R, Seth Ryan?”


They’d known the question was going to come up in the interview, so it had been no surprise and Keely just repeated the words that Marco and Colton had helped them come up with. “Seth Ryan is my very good friend, we are not, and have never been together despite the rumours.” Before she could stop herself, Keely added words that they hadn’t planned on, “He’s one of the most talented musicians I’ve ever met and he’s an incredible song writer.”


The smile on Richard’s face abruptly widened. “So how comfortable are you with sharing a tour bus with those three boys?”


Keely blinked at him, her mouth falling open slightly. That question wasn’t on the script. Instantly she raised her eyes, finding Seth standing at the door that lead to backstage, but his expression was unreadable.


“We’re all friends there, so of course I’m comfortable,” she replied slowly, staring at him wide eyed.


That relaxed feeling she’d felt around him before was receding quickly.


“So you have no problem with it?”


Unable to stop herself, Keely snapped, “None.”


His smile only became bigger. “Well, what can you say to the rumours about your copious drug use? Or the bags of needles that have been seen taken out of your tour bus when you make stops?”


Her mouth fell open again. Yes, that relaxed feeling was long gone. They were definitely going off script.


“That these rumours are false,” she returned, trying to find her footing again. “It was created around a mistake I made a couple days ago, and it’s just exploded since then.”


“Oh, you mean when you were arrested? Well, why don’t we address that, why were you arrested in the first place? As I believe, you weren’t alone?”


She felt her eyes harden on him, her stomach clenching with anger. Gone were the nerves that had come with the thought of making that public apology, now she was just furious. No one had any right to be prodding into her life like this, especially not this man in front of her, it was her life.


“I was arrested for drinking underage,” Keely responded bluntly, her eyes daring him to make a comment. “Then there were a slew of other charges that I’m yet to understand, to be honest. As for me not being alone, there was no reason for Seth to be arrested with me. He had done nothing wrong. We were told it was because he was giving alcohol to an underage girl, but I believe I was in a bar and the bartender was giving it to me. Mischief, destruction of public property, drunk and disorderly and disturbing the peace were the other charges.”


“And what drugs were you on when the infamous With A Little Help From My Friends video was taken?”


“Why should it matter to anyone if I was high or not?” Keely exploded, her hands clenching in fists at her side. “I wasn’t high, but I don’t think that should matter. I’m a musician, I’m not a politician, I don’t want to run your city. All that should matter is the music.”


Richard Windsor was looking quite smug, only infuriating her further. “What would you say to the parents who are now refusing to let their children buy your music because of the bad reputation that you’ve built for yourself? They’ve been saying that they want better role models.”


That was when the scowl came onto her face at full force. “I’d say that first of all, I didn’t become a musician because I wanted to be a “role model”. I became a musician because I love music, no other reason. And I can’t understand why they’re so upset then, because I’ve never claimed to be a good little girl that could sit around having tea parties. As Jagger and Richards have said, “You’ll never make a saint of me.”.”


“So you think that it’s right to teach children and teenagers to use drugs by your example?”


“I believe I just said that I wasn’t high, but it shouldn’t matter anyways,” she snapped. Thinking back to Seth’s quoting of Hendrix, she continued, “In the words of Jimi Hendrix, “Music makes me high on stage, and that’s the truth. It’s almost like being addicted to music.”.”


Suddenly Richard stood up, sending her warm smile and announcing, “Well, that’s all the time we have for the interview. Now-”


Knowing what was coming without needing to be told, Keely shoved herself off the couch, moving to where her band was standing. The rage was still pulsing hotly through her blood and as she walked, she snatched off the headband, throwing it to where Seth was still framed in the doorway. He caught it, arching an eyebrow at her, but she didn’t stop.


As she moved, Keely shrugged the cardigan off her shoulders, letting it fall carelessly to the ground before messing up her hair.


“I’m a fucking heroin addict now?” Keely muttered to herself, getting to her band where their stage had been set up for their next song. Without pausing she pulled the shoes off, still hearing Richard Windsor still speaking, making her not doubt her actions as snatched off the knee socks, pushing the heels back on her feet.


“What are you doing?”


At the sound of the voice of John from the backup band, Keely looked up, kicking the stupid socks away from the stage. She could see the worried expressions from the older bassists and the drummer to.


“I’m not their fucking doll,” she snarled, “I have a bad reputation? They can have a bad reputation as long as it’s real. That’s all rock and roll is, being real. We’re doing Joan Jett,” Keely informed him, shoving past to grab her Stratocaster that was awaiting on the stand.


“You guys ready?” she asked shortly.


“What about For You?” John enquired, looking rather lost.


With a roll of her eyes, Keely slipped the guitar strap comfortably over her shoulder. “This is more prudent, tell me you guys can play this song?”


“Well, yes-”


“Then let’s do it,” she ordered moving past him to her microphone as Richard had stopped talking. For a moment she thought she saw a glimmer of a respect in his eyes, but she didn’t pause long enough to stare at John to see. She had more important things to do.


The drummer counted them in, and closing her eyes, Keely hauled in a breath, letting John take over the guitar alone for mere seconds. But then she let out the breath, and opening her eyes, sent an obvious glare in Richard’s direction before joining in with the music behind her.



I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation


You're living in the past it's a new generation


A girl can do what she wants to do and that's


What I'm gonna do


An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation


 


Oh no not me


 


An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation


Never said I wanted to improve my station


An' I'm only doin' good


When I'm havin' fun


An' I don't have to please no one


An' I don't give a damn


'Bout my bad reputation


 


Oh no, not me


Oh no, not me


I don't give a damn


'Bout my reputation


I've never been afraid of any deviation


An' I don't really care


If ya think I'm strange


I ain't gonna change An' I'm never gonna care 'Bout my bad reputation


 


Oh no, not me


Oh no, not me


 


Pedal boys!


 


An' I don't give a damn


'Bout my reputation


The world's in trouble


There's no communication


An' everyone can say


What they want to say


It never gets better anyway


So why should I care


'Bout a bad reputation anyway


Oh no, not me


Oh no, not me


 


I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation


You're living in the past


It's a new generation


An' I only feel good


When I got no pain


An' that's how I'm gonna stay


An' I don't give a damn


'Bout my bad reputation


 


Oh no, not me


Oh no, not


Not me, not me.”


 


Purposely Keely roughened up her voice for the song, settling more for a hoarse sound as she played. Even in her eyes high heels managing to jump up and down at the appropriate times, leaning back with the microphone while John took over guitar. Her back up band provided the backup vocals, but she might not have noticed.


Anger really was a good instigator with music, she realized. She and her band played with more chemistry than ever before.


At the end of the song, she at least resisted the urge to send Richard the finger, dumping her guitar on the stand and walking away without a backwards glance or a word to her band. Her heartbeat was thumping loudly against her neck as she shoved past Seth.


At first the erratic beat was because of the intensity of the song as she’d emptied her lungs while moving around with high energy. But when she neared the little change room that could barely count as a bathroom stall where her clothes were still laying, the quickly thumping heart was for a whole other reason.


The whole reason for going on the show had been to apologize so she could remain on the tour.


She’d far from apologized.


Letting out a shaky breath, Keely leaned her back against the wall and slid to the ground.


When it had been happening, she hadn’t even given a thought to what she was doing, what she could be destroying with just words and a song. It was always clear she had a short temper, it had been since she was a child, she’d never been patient with things that didn’t have to do with music. She’d always thought music was one of the few things that could change the world, there was countless proof to the fact. So why hadn’t she realized that it could just change her world even more than it already had?


At the sound of the stall door closing abruptly, she looked up to find Seth locking it. Before she could speak or explain, he’d shuffled around her, falling to the ground with his back against the wall beside her, their arms pressing against each other.


“That was really bad, wasn’t it?” she said numbly, rubbing her hands over her face.


“Well, it was good for artistic integrity,” Seth reasoned calmly, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “Plus you did a good Joan Jett, shouting really works for you sometimes.”


Giving an unamused laugh, Keely buried her face in her hands. “Thanks, but that’s not exactly what I was talking about.” There was a long pause before she raised her eyes to his, saying, “I really screwed this one up, didn’t I?”


Sighing Seth reached around her, rubbing comforting little circles on her back. “You know The Doors never needed Ed Sullivan, Ed Sullivan needed The Doors.”


This time when she laughed it was real, even it sounded watery as the tears were starting to get closer to the surface. ““You know that it would be untrue, You know that I would be a liar, If I was to say to you, Girl we couldn’t get much higher.”,” she quoted, leaning her head against his warm shoulder.




- Okay, I'm surprised I wrote this. I'm tired, I've been writing all night because you guys love Seth and I love you guys lol.


I don't know how well this turned out, it might be better if I gave myself more time to write it instead off just now, but whatever. If it sucks, just tell me and I'll rewrite it eventually. BY THE WAY, I've rewritten the first chapter, and I shall be doing that all the way to where I began writing this story again, I swear it's so much better.


Because I wrote the first nineteen or so chapters like five or something years ago, so the beginning is pretty crappy, but so far I've made the first chapter better. 


So I'm not writing much here. Too bloody tired. 6:57! I need to learn how to sleep!


Hope you enjoyed.

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