Just What I Needed (51)

“You know,” Keely began conversationally as she shoved open the door with her shoulder, “Stealing people's shoes isn't very nice.”


In the mirror, Marissa grinned, apparently completely at ease with the fact she was wearing nothing but a plaid skirt and bra as she sat in front of her travelling bureau. “I know,” she answered easily, using a mascara tube on her eyelashes. “But I'd been wearing heels all day and I went into your dressing room and they were just sitting there, calling my name.”


Rolling her eyes casually, Keely closed the door behind her and leaned against it wearily, a sound of relief escaping her lips as she did so. “Heels paired with stages and crowds, never a good idea,” she groaned, leaning down clumsily to pry the heels off her pale feet.


“You ain't seen nothing yet,” retorted Marissa, switching to lipstick.


Delighted, she straightened and clapped her hands together, the heels dangling from her fingers. “A BTO reference!”


But the girl just fixed her with a blank expression.


“Bachman Turner Overdrive?” prompted Keely.


Her expression didn't so much as flicker.


“Of course not,” Keely grumbled with a little sight, “You don't know anything about Elvis, why would you know about BTO?” When Marissa looked at her quizzically she raised her voice, saying, “So where are you keeping my shoes hostage?”


In response Marissa pointed towards the corner of the room unseeingly, where it was proved her converse sneakers were waiting patiently.


“So where have you been lately?” asked Keely, picking up her shoes.


Marissa just made a questioning noise in the back of her throat.


“I mean, I never see you as much as I do with the boys. Which is lucky for you, I gotta say, sometimes I want to throttle the lot of them at once. But, back to the point, you've been pretty much non existent lately.”


Wincing, the she stood up, flattening her skirt. “Yeah, well, dad's still pissed about Seth...”


Pursing her lips, Keely pointed out, “He really holds a grudge, doesn't he?”


It looked as if Marissa was about to respond as she turned around, her mouth opening, but a knock and the requesting of her presence on the stage interrupted her. Sending her a smile, she slipped into a pair of sky high bedazzled heels, which Keely personally thought could be seizure inducing, and said, “Well, I'll see you after?”


Keely just shook her head, juggling the two pairs of shoes between her hands as she continued to stand barefoot. “I'm pretty sure I'm going to go crash right now, the bus might have had heat, but the boys playing football or something in the bus last night. Let me tell you, it doesn't matter how many times you hear it, when they tackle each other in that little space and the sound echoes around, you don't get used to it. Every time they hit the floor, you wince and think that they're just going to go through it.”


She laughed, pulling open the door, “Yeah, another good reason for the fact dad and I have our own tour bus. Plus, I wouldn't want to share one with a band I wasn't even part of. So, next show do you think?”


“Definitely,” Keely replied.


But when Marissa stepped out the door, Keely called out, “You do realize that you forgot your shirt, right?”


Simpering, the girl just spun in a circle. “This is my shirt, Keel.”


As she walked away, Keely felt her eyebrows fly up her forehead. She couldn't help but think she'd never be able to do that, perform in a bra and skirt. Not only because it looked rather pop star, which was far from her goal, but it'd just be awkward. And she'd been a cheerleader, those outfits weren't exactly modest.


Crinkling her nose considering at the thought, Keely stepped out of the change room as well, closing the door behind her. The last thing she needed was Mr James to find her alone in Marissa's change room, especially since she knew she was now lumped into a section with NSR in that man's head, because she'd heard he'd fired a sound technician off the tour for the same thing. Whether that was a rumour or not, she couldn't be sure, but it was still enough to send her away.


Pushing the thoughts from her mind, she started off, but in the opposite direction as her friend, singing a grouping of “Sha la la,” over and over again absently. Even then she was quite pleased with the fact her pitch was perfect. Her nerves of performing in front of a crowd were fading, and she couldn't help but think she was getting more skilled with her voice.


She would always be about freedom with your voice when you're singing, but it was nice that she was gaining even more control over it than before. Maybe it was just because she was using her singing voice so much more than ever before, even though it was a cliche, practice makes perfect had a good point. Although her ego hadn't grown to the point where she thought she was perfect. Plus she'd gotten to the point where her voice was accustomed to the stress on the road and had taken on a slightly used sound, yet somehow still smooth if she needed it to be when she sang.


“No shoes now?”


Cutting off in her daydream like singing, Keely glanced to her side as Colton fell into step beside her. “Yeah,” she told him, focusing once again, “I think I'm going to go hippie. No more electric instruments, just me, my guitar, barefoot sitting cross-legged on stage. How do you think that would go?”


He grinned easily, “I'm all for it. Just keep bathing.”


“That might be difficult,” she laughed before fully considering it. “I would have made an awesome hippie in the sixties, dancing naked in the mud, higher than the sky to Janis and Jimi at Woodstock. First thing that happens when Marco builds that time machine of his. Oh, plus I want to meet James Dean and have a long conversation with Billie Holiday.”


“He'll get right on it for you, I'm sure. You ready to take off? He's talking to one of the light guys and I've been sent to find Seth.”


Nodding quickly, they made a stop at her dressing room, Keely finally putting on her sneakers, before heading back down to NSR's.


As she gave a loud yawn, Colton looked at her with raised brows. “Didn't sleep well last night?”


Sending him a withering glare, she snapped, “And you bloody well know why.”


The boy just beamed at her, looking much to pleased with himself. “Oh, that was fun. Would have been better outside though, but Dave wouldn't stop.”


“Really? It sounded like you guys were trying to murder each other all night.”


Those words just made Colton's expression brighter. “Yeah, we need to do that more often. You should see the bruise that Seth has on his ribs from when Marco tackled him into the table. It's wicked.”


Although she winced at the thought of bruised ribs and still doing a show where you were the lead singer, Keely composed herself as she pushed open the door to the boys' change room, announcing, “Boys are dumb.”


But as she moved forward through the doorway, Keely found herself pausing in her step. This caused Colton to run into her, sending them both a clumsy step forward while the boy swore loudly. She on the other hand was much more interested in the reason she'd stopped in the first place, straightening and focusing her eyes forward.


The crowd was buzzing loudly, but as of yet Marissa's pop music hadn't started giving Keely a clear ear for the music inside of the change room.


She pulled in a deep breath at the sight of Seth sitting on the ground, his legs stretched out in front of him, his back propped against a chair with a guitar in his lap. His eyes were looking to the wall, but they seemed blank as if he really didn't see it, even his voice and guitar had taken on a faraway almost dreamy quality.



People are strange when you're a stranger


Faces look ugly when you're alone


Women seem wicked when you're unwanted


Streets are uneven when you're down



When you're strange


Faces come out of the rain


When you're strange


No one remembers your name


When you're strange


When you're strange


When you're strange-”



“Oh, for the love of-” Keely cut off frustrated, digging her hands into her hair and shoving it back, holding her hands there.


Could he possibly do something that wouldn't worry her anymore? When You're Strange had been written by Morrison out of being depressed in the first place, continuing on with feelings of isolation and alienation. As much as she loved the song, it was not one she'd wanted to hear from Seth, at least not any time soon.


The instant her words came out of her mouth, Seth's hands jerked on the guitar, his chin snapping towards them. For a moment he stared at them as if he was seeing them for the first time, but, after a blink, he appeared to regain his composure. “Huh?”


“It's-”


But before she could get out her next word a sudden swell of screeching welled around them, making Keely wince in surprise when a falsified beat began to grow. Hearing the sound of Marissa's concert beginning had brought other thoughts back into her mind, like the fact Colton was still in the room with them.


“Never mind,” she muttered sheepishly, her hands dropping from her hair to dangle at her sides as she averted her eyes.


“You ready to go?” asked Colton, finally announcing his presence. “Marco has probably left by now.”


“And why do we care if Marco has left already?” responded Seth. Contrary to the drawl with those words, he'd shoved himself off the ground, placing his guitar into the case that was lying on the chair behind him and snapped it shut naturally.


Looking up, Keely put in, “We're going to sleep.”


“Oh, sounds so exciting,” retorted he, slipping on a coat.


“Yes, absolutely riveting,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “But I want to sleep, so are you coming?”


“Yeah, yeah,” he answered, grabbing his guitar case.


Without waiting Keely turned on her heel and walked through the door, although Colton beat her to it, holding the door open for her. Glancing back over her shoulder, Keely had time to see Seth carelessly flipping up the collar of his jacket and shutting the door behind him before stepping forward, his long legs eating up the ground quickly. Looking forward again, she hastily sidestepped an apparently harassed roadie and when she fell into a normal pace again, Colton was comfortably walking by her side with Seth on the other.


“So did you watch the show tonight?” Colton asked, nudging her with his elbow.


Chuckling, she swatted his arm away. “Of course I watched the show, I always watch your guys' show. Even back stage I could hear the girl's screaming request for your old stuff.”


Giving a loud derisive snort, Seth scowled into the space in front of them. “If they want to listen to that old shit, they can buy the albums. We're never playing it ever again,” he finished, sending a dark look in Colton's direction across her from where she stood between them.


“Someone's grumpy tonight,” Keely teased light heartedly, brushing her bangs from her eyes.


“No, no, no,” corrected Colton immediately, “This is not grumpy Seth. Just wait until you see him all bitter and twisted-”


“I'm not bitter and twisted!” exclaimed Seth hotly.


But Colton just carried on with barely a pause, the only sign he'd even registered his friend's words being the grin that swelled on his face. “Plus sarcastic, then he'll use that wit to confuse you with and you won't even realise that he's insulted you with fancy wording that really just amounts to “your mom” until four hours later.”


“Fancy wording?” Keely questioned amused.


“Oh yes, you're lucky you weren't talking to him at the beginning of the tour. Talk about brutal.”


Glowering at his friend over her head, Seth said, “Man, I hate you sometimes.”


Still the grin didn't leave the boy's face. “Aw, don't be like that,” he laughed, reaching over Keely to clasp Seth's shoulder, “I love you, dude. Give me a hug.”


Laughing fully, Keely ducked out of the way, hurrying forward, that was something she didn't need to be in the middle of. The laughter from her continued when she spun on her heel, walking backwards so she could see them. Colton really was trying to hug him.


“Don't touch me,” ordered Seth, shoving him away with one hand, the other securely on his guitar case. Yet, despite his words, a grin was twitching on the corners of his mouth.


Hands were placed on her shoulders, stopping her backwards movements, making Keely spin around quickly in shock. But when she saw Marco, she let out a sigh or relief before feeling rather sheepish seeing the back doors out of the stadium right behind him. She'd been much too focused on the boys, if he hadn't been there, she simply would have walked into the wall.


“What's up with them?” asked Marco, nodding behind her.


Peeking back around, Keely saw Seth still shoving his friend away, the laughter from Colton ringing about them. “Bitter and twisted, not to mention sarcastic, is getting attacked by mister happy go lucky.”


“Oh...” answered the boy slowly.


Shaking her head at them, she broke away, putting a hand on the door, calling out, “Hey! Are you guys coming?”


Without waiting for an answer, mostly because she hoped that she got the point across, Keely shoved the door open and walked into the frigid air. Shivering in her light cover of a sweater, she huddled deeper into it. When she heard the sounds of the boys following her, she started forward, thankful that the hotel wasn't too far away.


At the very least the snow had been shovelled away from the sidewalks and ploughed out of the road so they didn't have to wade through it.


Hearing the tell tale sound of footsteps coming up quickly, Keely glanced to the side just in time as Seth came into step with her. “Are you okay?” she asked hesitantly, chewing on her bottom lip as she looked up to him.


“Yeah, I'm fine,” he replied distractedly, digging into his coat.


Not believing his words for a moment, Keely sighed, looking forward as they trekked down the empty road. Apparently most people had the sense to stay in that night.


“Here,” Seth announced, gaining her attention once again. Arching an eyebrow thoughtlessly, she turned her gaze to him and watched as he pulled a rolled magazine out of the inside of his jacket and shoved it into her hands.


Wrinkling her nose without looking at the magazine, she questioned blankly, “How the hell was that in your jacket?”


“There are pockets,” he explained, a smirk that didn't reach his eyes playing on his lips.


Rolling her eyes at him, Keely pulled her scrutiny to the magazine cover instead of him. “You wanted to show me a picture of yourself?” she said incredulously, looking down to where the three boys were splashed across the cover. She remembered when they'd gone to do that photo shoot, she'd gotten a rare couple hours of peace. “I see you lot every day.”


With an exasperated sigh, Seth said, “No, that's not what I gave it to you for. There's a review for Breaking Time in it, I thought you might want to know what they said. It's on page fifteen, if you want to.”


“Really?!” she exclaimed excitedly, “What did they say?”


“Well, you'll just have to read it, won't you?”


With a scowl forming on her face, Keely looked up from the magazine in her hands to send the look in his direction. “I hate it when people do that, just so you know. Anyways, did you read it?”


“Right away. Watch out, rebel,” he told her, putting his arm in front of her.


In a jerky movement she pulled up to a halt before she ran into his arm. A slight blush worked its way onto her cheeks when she pointed her eyes forward to find the doors of the hotel, once again almost running into doors because she was too focused on him.


When he pulled open the door, Keely didn't dare look at him with the flush on her cheeks. Instead she just headed through, hiding her face behind a curtain of her hair.


The elevator ride to their floor was rather uneventful. Meaning that the boys didn't manage to break the entire machine in the short ride, although she wouldn't put it past those three. But Marco and Colton did continue to argue about whether or not they should sneak into Marissa's tour bus and steal all Mr James' hair gel. Marco maintaining that they should leave a witty note while Colton wanted to remain inconspicuous – not surprising as Marissa was his girlfriend – but Seth did point out that they would be blamed even if it wasn't them.


For the entirety of the ride, Keely stayed silent, listening to them absently with a small smile on her mouth as she leaned against the wall. Marco and Colton were shoving each other playfully in the middle of the little space, which momentarily made her nervous. Seth was leaning against the wall as well, standing beside her.


“Bye, Jude,” called out Marco and Colton in unison, smiling broadly as they walked out of the elevator.


Without a word Seth just flipped them the finger, moving in the opposite direction.


For a moment Keely remained still, the magazine forgotten in her hands, what was that about? It was beginning to bother her. Blinking, she hurried in the direction Seth had gone, knowing that her room was in the same direction while the other boys' room was on the other end of the hall.


“Why do they keep calling you Jude?” she asked interestedly, matching her step to his.


“Because they're assholes,” he replied looking forward.


Making a little sound in the back of her throat, Keely felt a smile tug on her lips, she'd gotten to know them, especially Seth, well enough to know that they never meant it when they said things like that. Well, maybe they did mean it, but they still loved each other like brothers. Falling silent as they walked down the hall, Keely didn't so much as look at him again until he slowed down at the door of his hotel room.


And when she looked up, she wished she hadn't. It was too hard to ignore that look on his face, because even when he was obviously trying to mask it, Keely could always see that discouraged look in his eyes. Even when they'd had their celebration when finding out that NSR's album had hit number one on the charts, it had been there.


“Are you okay?” she asked for what seemed like the millionth time, slowing to a halt.


Seth groaned, digging in the front pocket of his pants for his room key. “You keep asking me that, rebel, I'm going to begin to think you care.”


“Of course I care,” Keely put in immediately, shoving her hand into her hair and pushing it away from her face as she looked up at him. How could he even doubt that she cared? It was blatantly obvious. “People Are Strange, Seth? Really? You really thought that would bring up any questions?”


Letting out a heavy breath, he propped his shoulder against the door frame, holding his key in his hand but not using it. Unconsciously Keely leaned against the opposite side of the door. “What do you really want to know?”


“That I'm not going to wake up one morning to find that you've killed yourself in the middle of the night,” she told him honestly, scrunching up her face awkwardly.


A smirk came across his face. “I can tell you with a hundred percent certainty I'm not going to kill myself.”


Not finding herself satisfied with the small attempt at humour flashing across his face, because it almost looked painful on him, she couldn't help herself. “You know, I'm not finding that very comforting.”


“Some people are just born doomed with being a wreck in their blood,” he told her abruptly.


“What-”


Before she could finish the question, Seth had moved his arm across the doorway, opening the door of his room with the key. “I'll see you tomorrow, alright? Go sleep.”


Sighing loudly, Keely turned on her heel, moving to the room that was beside his. But it wasn't until she'd shoved open her own door that she glanced back to see him still leaning against the door jamb. Turning up the corners of her lips unenthusiastically in farewell, she moved through the door, throwing the magazine away from her the moment she was enclosed inside the room.


Moaning, she dropped back against the door, closing her eyes. How on earth was she just supposed to go on as if he'd never said that?


Feeling overwhelmingly frustrated, she shoved up, snatching up the magazine from the ground. He didn't want to talk about it, whatever, she didn't want to hear it. Well, that was a lie, she wanted to know, but that didn't mean she needed to know.


Dropping onto the bed, one of her legs dangling off the side, Keely furiously flipped to page fifteen. Her eyes scanned the page, but she quickly found the review Seth had been speaking about. It wasn't very long, but it wasn't hard to find underneath the bold letters that read: Breaking Time, Keely Staub.


“In the sixties some said that guitar bands were going out of fashion; countless musicians and groups have come out to prove it wrong time and time, and one of the latest of that long standing tradition is new comer Keely Staub. The latest song released by the eighteen year old musician with the help of constant co-writer and producer, Seth Ryan, is another notch along the line to prove how wrong they were fifty years ago. The brilliance of the song comes from the simplicity of the instruments yet the complexity shown in the way they're used. There's the poetic wit that we were introduced to in Keely Staub's first single, For You, but was used to the fullest advantage of this newest song. Yet another proof that real love songs haven't been obliterated in today's music. Breaking Time debuted on the US Billboard charts at sixty eight, and leaped astonishingly to number thirty one, as well as being number fifty three on the UK charts as well. With this most recent example of the new writing partnership of Ryan/Staub, one can only wonder what will come from their apparent continuation of the song writing relationship.”


When she finished reading it, Keely paused blankly. Not sure she believed what her mind told her, she went back and reread the single paragraph three times. It wasn't until then that the smile was pushing against her face.


They liked her song... the reviewer might not have ever said the words flatly, but she could easily tell.


Her first reaction was to call Seth.


But then she remembered their last conversation.


How was it that the happiness that had been pulsing through her could be completely destroyed at the thought of his words? She was getting even more pathetic than before, her emotions were beginning to change for him.


Frustrated with herself, Keely dragged out her phone. Calling Colton, Marco or Marissa would just make her think of him even more. Groaning at herself, she leaned over, tapping the phone thoughtfully against her forehead. Who else she could call? The instant the thoughts crossed her mind, her stomach clenched with guilt. Who else could she call, she could call her best friends. She hadn't talked to them in what felt like years, since before the tour.


The fact that she hadn't called them weighed her abruptly dark mood down further, but they also hadn't called her either.


Scrolling through the contacts with the thought of Haley in mind, Keely paused when she saw “Dad”.


Her finger hesitating over the number, she felt her stomach jerk, but this time with nerves. He was her father, and they did need to talk, desperately.


But was she really ready for that? She could remember her words to Seth back in that hotel room in Vancouver. Keely still wanted to think things threw, she didn't know where her footing was when it came to her father. She didn't even know if she had footing.


She could ask Seth...


Making a sound of annoyance in the back of her throat, Keely dropped the phone onto her magazine. Did it always have to come back to him?


Suddenly being enclosed in the room no longer felt like a good idea, no matter how tired she was, she couldn't help but think of Seth. And that was the last thing she needed. She knew without a doubt she had feelings for the boy by now, to refuse to acknowledge that would be a sick form of denial. But that didn't mean she should. She knew next to nothing about him, and he obviously wasn't going to share.


Shoving herself up from the bed, she dug through the bag that was lying carelessly on the ground. Slipping the grey bomber jacket over the white hoodie that she was still wearing in hope to ward off the cold, Keely grabbed her bag and was rushing out of the room, down to the elevator.


During the agonizingly slow ride down, she checked her watch, finding she'd been in her room for almost an hour.


Barely acknowledging the confused glances sent her way by the people remaining in the lobby, Keely pushed out of the front door of the hotel. And an instant blast of icy night air slammed into her. Shivering violently, she sent a longing glance back through the glass doors to the hotel where it was toasty inside, the heaters all working perfectly fine. But, half because she didn't want to look foolish and the other half because she didn't want to be boxed up in that room any longer, she turned to walk to down the sidewalk even though she was still unsure of her destination.


Yet she only got two steps down the frozen concrete before Keely found herself pulling up in her footsteps. She was supposed to be clearing her mind of him, but of course he had to be everywhere she went.


Seth was leaning his shoulder blades against the brick wall of the building still yards away from her. Apparently he hadn't noticed her, and she didn't announce her presence. Looking ruggedly handsome with that stubble along his chin, leather jacket with the jeans that managed to fit him perfectly without being too baggy or too tight, he was the picture of relaxation. He had a paperback novel in one of his hands, holding it casually in front of him, his eyes not flickering away from the pages for a moment. As she watched, he lifted his other hand to his mouth, taking a long drag from the cigarette that's tip burnt brightly in the shadows he was swathed in.


When he let out the breath of smoke, Keely shook her head slightly, and began forward, her eyes glued to him as he flipped the page. Yes, she might have been set in freeing her mind from him but she couldn't leave. It was a sickness.


“I thought you quit smoking,” she announced, crossing her arms in front of her as she stopped, just a foot in front of him.


Casually his eyes flicked up to her, lowering the book in front of him. “And what gave you that idea?”


Even though she wanted to snap a response, her eyes caught sight of the book title and she felt her heart clench as she looked at it. “All Quiet On The Western Front? Could you be reading a sadder book?”


Seth just smirked, flicking the half used cigarette into the pile of snow beside him. “I could probably find one,” he told her casually, folding the corner of the page before closing the paperback and slipping it into the back pocket of his jeans. Remaining in his position, leaning against the wall, he continued, “You know that the original title, Im Westen nichts Neues, is actually translated to Nothing New In The West, but Wheen changed it?”


Although she didn't know that fact, she was more focused on staring at him blankly. “You speak German?”


“Yeah, like twenty words and those are four of them,” he answered.


“Why are you so sad now?” she blurted. “It's almost Christmas, we're going to be in Green Bay for the holidays. You get to go home for Christmas, Seth.”


That just got a snort out of him, “Yeah, because home is where I want to go.”


“What does that mean?” Keely asked sharply.


But he just leaned his head back, looking up at the dark sky and quoted, ““I am young, I am twenty years old; yet I know nothing of life but despair, death, fear, and fatuous superficiality cast over an abyss of sorrow.”.”


Trying to ignore the fact that when he said things like that she felt like an illiterate hick, Keely swallowed the lump in her throat, simply saying, “You're twenty one.”


He laughed but the sound was lacking in any amusement, and looked back down to her. “Rebel, I've known more than that in my life, I'm not a soldier in World War One, I don't have it bad. I can't exactly whine about anything when reading that book.”


“Seth,” she began softly.


Yet he cut off her words by shoving up from the wall, taking a step forward. Instantly Keely side stepped him and he followed in the same fashion until she found her back against the chilly brick wall instead. Feeling her stomach drop inside of her body, she said, “I'm pretty sure top psychiatrists have constantly said holding things inside is hazardous to people's health.”


The edge of his mouth tipped up casually as he stood in the spot moments before she'd been standing. “I do a lot of things that are hazardous to my health.” Before she could comment, he persisted, “You're not my beast of burden.”


Recognizing the song reference, she returned, “That's not the same thing.”


Abruptly he took another step forward until their bodies were just centimetres from touching, making Keely's breath catch in her throat. Her first instinct was to back up a step, but the wall behind her prevented the movement.


Easily Seth leaned his arm against the brick wall above her head, and Keely could feel her heart beat racing. It really didn't matter that she didn't so much as know his real last name and it also didn't matter how many times she tried to convince herself that it did, he was going to have this effect on her anyways. Catching her bottom lip between her teeth absently, she felt her eyes drop, but when he began speaking her eyes snapped back up to his.


“You keep trying to help, Keely, but you really don't want to know. Some people are just fucked up, and there's nothing you can do.”


Forgetting about even the close presence as she looked into his darkened eyes, she let out a defeated breath. “C'mon,” she told him, putting her hands on his hard chest and shoving him back a step. She quickly stepped around Seth, but as she moved to walk away she grabbed his large hand, tugging him forward.


“What are we doing?” Seth asked from behind her.


“We're going drinking,” she proclaimed, sending a quirk of the eyebrows over her shoulder. “Because I don't what else to do.”


He laughed from behind her, and Keely was pleased to find that she really did hear his amusement in it. “Weren't you the one that got mad at me back in New York for drinking so much?”


“Yes,” she admitted, slowly down so they were walking side by side and dropping his hand. “Because you drinking alone, looking like that and playing those songs is pretty much a cry for help. Me drinking alone is pathetic. But together, not so bad, and maybe you'll even drop a few more of those frustrating hints of yours.”


“Looking like what?” he questioned cockily, putting on a mask that she recognized. She was beginning to notice these things easily, the way he avoided things with an arrogant front or use that wit that Colton had been talking about earlier.


She sent him a sweet smile, “All pathetic with the puppy eyes.”


“Ouch,” he complained.


“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she muttered, shoving him in the side to the pub she'd noticed when they'd first been exploring the city. “Go inside,” she ordered.


“And you call me bossy.”


Rolling her eyes, Keely slipped past him as he stood stubbornly, holding the door open for her. A smile spread across her mouth as she looked around. It was becoming a habit of theirs, these crappy little pubs.


There really was cigarette smoke hovering in the air, making it seem as if they'd travelled back in time. The whole room was wood, the walls, the floor, the bar. Even the rickety tables set around were made of wood. But where else could they really go? The clubs were much too crowded and loud for her to wheedle anything out of him, not to mention that music was really bad.


“Norwegian wood,” she smirked.


As the door shut behind them, Keely could have laughed at the eyes that automatically were sent there way. All of the eyes looked away instantly, but more than a few of the people did a double take, sending them confused glances.


“I'll get a table?” she suggested, spinning around on her heel to look at him as she took a step backwards. “You go get drinks.”


“What do you want?” asked Seth when she'd turn back around.


“Surprise me,” she called over her shoulder.


There were few empty tables around, but Keely managed to snag one of the wobbly looking tables that was close to the speakers that were playing classic rock.


Her intentions with the night weren't for them to get drunk, no, she didn't particularly want to drink anything. But she did want to take Seth's mind off whatever was still troubling him after all this time. In Vancouver when she'd gone drinking it had given her little escape, but she'd still blurting out almost everything to Seth. She didn't need him to tell her everything, not tonight anyways, but she couldn't have left him to reading the book and smoking.


“Okay here we go,” announced Seth.


Instantly she pulled herself out of the thoughts, and forced a smile onto her face as she looked towards him. “Shots, really? You really have no imagination, do you?” she teased, as he sat across the table from her.


“They're bringing the other drinks after,” he told her, rolling his eyes as he shoved the shot towards her. “Drink up, rebel, this was your idea.”


Taking up the glass, she leaned forward, bracing her left forearm against the table as she held up her shot with her right hand. “My full name is,” she started, looking him flat in the eyes, “Keely Janis Staub.”


He chuckled, picking up his shot glass. “Well Southern Comfort was a good choice then, wasn't it?”


Without further ado, in unison they swallowed, Keely wincing obviously.


“Seth Michael Vaughn.”


Immediately her eyes widened and she sputtered, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. “Vaughn, really? Is Stevie Ray Vaughn your father? Because he's one of my top three guitarists of all time, that would make so much sense with you being able to play the guitar like you do.”


Seth just laughed at her, shaking his head. “No, my dad's name was Michael, not Stevie. Although SRV died in '90, so that would be enough time, I guess.”


Before she could reply, drinks were set in front of them and the shot glasses filled up again by an elderly man who was sending them wary glances. Seth just had a long neck beer bottle put in front of him, and Keely wasn't sure what she had, her drinking usually consisting of shots at a bar or the cheapest vodka in the world back at the high school parties.


Smiling across at him, Keely took a long gulp from her drink, feeling a warm sensation in her stomach. She couldn't be sure where the feeling was from, after all it could be the alcohol already taking effect inside of her, but she had a feeling that it was Seth's little confession. Sure, it wasn't much, but it was something.


Seth Michael Vaughn...


“You guys are-”


“Yeah we are,” snapped Seth abruptly, glaring over her shoulder.


Surprised, Keely took another long sip of her drink, spinning around in her chair to see a twenty something boy behind them, cute with spiked hair and torn jeans. Confused she sent a sharp glance in Seth's direction, he usually wasn't that bluntly unfriendly to someone who was obviously a fan from the way he was staring at them excitedly.


“I'm Keely Staub,” she told the man, smiling kindly at him.


His smile broadened. “The guys didn't believe it was you guys when you walked in, do you two maybe want to-”


“No,” answered Seth for her, glaring at the guy, “We're kind of in the middle of something.”


Sending Seth an incredulous look, she turned back to the other man, seeing his shoulders slump. “But thanks for the offer,” she told him, slightly sheepish.


He smiled back again, “It was cool to meet you guys.”


Doubtful, Keely thought in her head as she spun back around fully to look at Seth. “Somebody's being rude tonight.”


“Did you want to go have drinks with he and his friends?” asked Seth.


“Well, no-”


“Then there you go,” he interrupted, taking a swing from his beer casually.


Rolling her eyes, Keely let them fall into silence as she took another deep sip from the drink that'd been put in front of her. She began tapping her fingers absently to Styx's Come Sail Away before shoving their next shot towards him.


“Why don't you want to go home?” she enquired a moment before they tossed back the whiskey together.


“You do know that Green Bay really isn't my home,” he said conversationally, putting down the glass.


“Huh?”


Seth smirked, picking up his beer bottle again. “Well, I guess it's the closest thing, I moved there when I was twelve. I was actually born in Kansas.”


Feeling deeply interested because this was the first time he'd ever shared anything without her bugging at him, she felt herself unconsciously move her chair closer to the table. Sure, he wasn't telling her anything that truly explained that look in his eyes, but he was telling her more than he ever had before. “Why did you go to Green Bay then?”


“We didn't move to Green Bay from Kansas. We lived way to many places to count, all across the US. I'm certain that there are about eight states I didn't live in when I was growing up, New York being one of them, but since I live there now, I don't think it counts anymore. I even lived up in Montreal for a while.”


“You lived in Montreal, Canada? Cool. Do you pick up any French while you lived there?” she enquired, continuing on with her interrogation.


He took another deep gulp before putting down the bottle and pulling in a deep breath. ““O ma belle rebelle! Las! que tu m'est cruelle, Quand la cuisant ardeur Qui me brule le cœur Fait que je te demande, A sa brûlure grande, Un rafraichissement D'un baiser seulement. O! ma belle rebelle! Las, que tu m'es cruelle, Quand d'un petit baiser Tu ne veux m'apaiser.”.”


Once again Keely found herself staring blankly at him. She had no idea what he had said, but even though they were sitting in a smokey bar she was sure it was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever heard him say, nothing could compare to him singing, but just speaking in what appeared to be perfect French to her was amazing. “What does that mean in English?” she asked breathlessly.


“It's a stanza from a poem by Jean Antoine de Baif called O Ma Belle Rebelle,” Seth explained. “It sounds much better in French, but I can tell you a rough translation. “O my fine rebel, how cruel you are to me! When the flames which consume my heart compel me to beg you this great heat to cool and slake with but one kiss. O my fine rebel, how cruel you are to me, when with one little kiss you will not appease me.”.”


At his words she felt a familiar fluttering in her stomach as his golden eyes looked directly into his, and a soft smile worked its way onto her lips. “How long did you live in Montreal for?”


“Five months when I was nine years old,” he answered casually.


Finding herself sputtering again, Keely looked at him disbelievingly. “At nine years old for five months you learnt French?”


“Not all at once. I liked the language, so I kept studying it even when we moved.”


The expression didn't leave her face as she continued to stare at him. She'd taken Spanish all the way through high school and she could barely string a sentence together, what kind of nine year old boy devoted himself to learning a foreign language? “Can you speak any other language.”


“I'm just fluent in English, French and Spanish. I've got some rudimentary Dutch and Russian, I want to learn German... that's it.”


“Yeah, that's it,” retorted Keely sarcastically.


As he chuckled at her, that bartender came back, replacing both their drinks with full ones and filling up the shot glass again.


It was only when they reached forward to tap the glasses together as was becoming their habit she was noticing that Keely felt the dizziness set in. The alcohol was definitely taking effect in her bloodstream already, making her sway slightly as she leaned back and swallowed the shot in one go. She could only guess it was from the mixing of the drinks together.


If she got too intoxicated before he did, how would she be able to bother him for more information? And, even if he did give her more, would she even remember it the next morning?


“What are you thinking about so hard?”


Blinking, Keely took a big gulp from her glass, asking, “Hm?”


“I could practically hear your brain working.”


But before she could find an intelligent answer, they were swarmed. Taking in a deep breath, Keely forced a welcoming smile on her face at the girls with the very high pitched voices that had circled them.


She could barely even make out a word they were saying, it being a mess of screeches and “I love you”. Yet she kept smiling, taking the pen graciously from one of the girls who offered it to her and began to sign everything that was shoved beneath her nose. Keely couldn't say how long she spent signing things for them, she just kept smiling, feeling very awkward with the alcohol rushing through her system. Not to mention she still wasn't used to this. They got another shot in the midst of that, but Keely just hastily chucked hers back, not bothering to tap her glass against Seth's.


“Have a good night,” she finally told the last one huddling around her, shoving the sheet of paper to her.


Ignoring the words that were said by the girl, Keely turned her gaze back to Seth, and felt a scowl come onto her face instantly. The girl that was standing much too close to him looked sixteen at the most, but a beautiful sixteen year old with her flaxen hair and enormous blue eyes that were blinking down at Seth.


Maybe he wasn't so much as smiling back at her, just saying something to the girl that Keely couldn't hear, but the anger boiled in her stomach seeing it. She had no reason to be angry, Seth was talking to a fan, just like she had been moments before. He was a rock star, he'd been doing this for the rest of his life. But just because something was logical didn't mean it was true.


“Does your mother know you're out?” Keely snapped loudly, unable to stop herself as she looked at the girl through narrowed eyes.


The girl blinked at her, a blush swelled across her cheeks and then she slunk away.


“Somebody's rude tonight,” Seth mimicked her words from earlier, turning his attention back to Keely.


“It was a honest question,” she answered, “She didn't look old enough to get on rides alone.”


Seth just grinned at her, leaning forward. “You do remember that you're only eighteen, right?”


About to reply scathingly, something else caught her attention and Keely began to laugh loudly. She gulped down what was left in the glass before beginning to sing along when the second guitar track cut in, the music coming from the speakers. Sending him a cheeky smile as she sang, Keely began to move her shoulder along with the beat making Seth laugh at her, moving in her chair naturally with the music. Had she been singing with just her microphone she would have taken ques from people like Janis Joplin, Mick Jagger or Jim Morrison, but Keely kept to her seat.



Well, I don’t know why I came here tonight,


I got the feeling that something ain’t right.


I’m so scared in case I'll fall off my chair,


And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs.


Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,


Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.



Yes, I’m stuck in the middle with you,


And I’m wondering what it is I should do.


It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face,


Losing control, yeah, I’m all over the place.


Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,


Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.



Well, you started off with nothing,


And you’re proud that you’re a self-made man.


And your family comes a-callin',


Slap you on the back and say, “Please, please.”



Trying to make some sense of it all,


But I can see it makes no sense at all.


Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor?


Well, I don't think I can take anymore.


Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,


Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.



Well, you started out with nothing,


And you’re proud that you’re a self-made man.


And your family comes a-callin',


Slap you on the back and say, “Please, please.”



Yeah, I don’t know why I came here tonight,


I got the feeling that something ain’t right,


I’m so scared in case I'll fall off my chair,


And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs,


Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,


Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.



Yes I’m, stuck in the middle with you,


Stuck in the middle with you,


Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.”



When the song ended, Keely just broke down in giggles, leaning her head against the table.


At the sound of a throat being cleared, she pushed herself up, but didn't look to it. “Here you go,” she said, focusing on keeping her words very clear. Without further ado, she grabbed the sharpie marker that the girls had left, dragged a napkin to her and scribbled her signature on it.


“Just for...” the words died in her throat as she looked up, holding the napkin out to.


The police officer with his red beard and frizzy hair did not looked pleased, nor did he take her offering. Her distracted thoughts couldn't help but think he looked like an overgrown leprechaun with his red hair and beefy arms. The other officer standing behind him looked positively tiny and sullen with his dark looks.


“I'm going to have to ask you two to stand up,” he began in a strong Irish accent.


Even though a part of herself knew it wasn't a good idea, Keely burst out laughing when he spoke. “Well, hello Captain Kelly.”


Hearing Seth give a snort of laughter at her reference, she turned her head to smile at him, throwing down the napkin on the table.


The beefy leprechaun's jaw tightened. “You two are under arrest-”


“What for?” Seth demanded incredulously.


'Captain Kelly' glared down at him. “Consumption of alcohol by a minor, you for providing the alcohol-”


“He didn't provide the alcohol for me,” Keely cut in instantly, “We're in a bar, you do know that, right?”


Either 'Captain Kelly' didn't hear her or he simply chose not to, because he continued on in his stiff manner. “Mischief, disturbing the public, drunk and disorderly, destruction of public property,” he said nodding down to the napkin Keely had signed.


“It's a fucking napkin!” Seth exclaimed indignantly, stealing the words from Keely's mouth.


“Stand up.”


Glowering up at him from his still slouched position in his chair, Seth said, “You've got to be kidding me.”


“Just because your famous doesn't mean you can get away with anything you want. Now, stand up!”


Groaning Keely stood up, swaying dangerously on her feet, Seth following in suit. The smaller of the officers fastening the hand cuffs onto her wrists behind her back. Not listening to what the police officers were saying, she looked over to her dark haired boy. “Why do I feel like we're a demonstration?”


“Because that's exactly what we are,” returned Seth darkly. “They just want to make an example, arresting us to show all the kids around they can't do this.”


“There are laws for a reason,” said 'Captain Kelly' with a self important tone.


Swivelling around to look the man boldly in the eyes, Seth quoted, ““When you give into authority, you become authority.”.”


Bursting out in renewed giggles at the Jim Morrison quote because it was so fitting, Keely didn't even stop when they were shoved out the doors of the smokey bar and pushed into the cop car. “You know,” she told them in a conversational tone, “I'm pretty sure that smoking in a public building is illegal too, why aren't you arresting that lot than?”


“Stay quiet,” ordered the massive leprechaun as he put the car into drive.


Pressing her lips together, Keely fell back into the seat, her arm leaning against Seth's, but her chuckles were still loud. “I think Captain Kelly might be overcompensating for something,” she whispered to Seth in a carrying tone.


The cop's hands tightened on the wheel until his knuckles turned white.


“He looks rather like a leprechaun with that accent, doesn't he?” Seth returned in the same hushed tone that was heard throughout the car.


When the cop jerked violently on the steering wheel, Keely just let loose the delighted laughter, it ringing through the car as she dropped her head on Seth's shoulder.


This time Keely wasn't scared as they were put through booking. It had to be because of the time spent around Seth, or maybe her rebellious rocker side was finally making a show, but she found it more funny than anything else. During her mug shot, she couldn't help but laugh loudly, holding the sign easily in front of her.


Even when they were put in the holding cell with one other cellmate, she found that her good mood hadn't been diminished.


“Are you going to call Marco?” Keely asked, walking back and forth in a weaving line.


“Yeah, him or Colton,” replied Seth calmly, he sitting down on the wooden bench that was provided. Their other cellmate was silent in the corner of the cell, looking at them with wide eyes. She couldn't say if that was because they were so obviously light hearted about being arrested or because he knew who they were, either way it didn't matter.


Raising his eyebrows at her as he leaned back against the wall, Seth enquired, “Are you going to sit down, rebel?”


“Nope,” she told him breezily, spinning around in a dangerous circle. When she began far too dizzy and the contents of her stomach were making rather passionate movements to their distaste of the movement, Keely gripped the bars, looking back to him. “You got me arrested again.”


Laughing easily, he replied, “No, this time I think you got me arrested.”


As she watched him, she couldn't help the smile that came in response, the dimple in his left cheek was showing. He was happy at least for now.


And she didn't want that to end. As much as she liked her moody Seth, she much preferred when he was happy, there was no worry that way. Leaning against the bars, she couldn't help but ponder how sexy he looked in the leather jacket with that stubble across his chin, those long legs clad in the worn jeans stretched out in front of him. And it didn't help that she knew the defined stomach she would find did she lift up the sweater he had beneath his jacket.


“Isn't staring supposed to be rude?” asked Seth, that cocky crooked grin on his mouth.


Biting her bottom lip, Keely shrugged before she looked at him closely and a frown came between her brows. “How come you're still acting sober?” she asked him accusingly.


“Rebel, I was drinking American beer between those shots, there's a lot less alcohol content in that compared to what you were drinking.”


Pursing her lips, she considered it a moment, feeling that it wasn't fair she'd gotten more to drink than he had. Unfair to who, she didn't know nor did she care. Feeling a sudden smile bloom on her face at inspiration, Keely gave a slight bow to him, announcing, “And, now, from the greatest album of all time.”


He looked at her confused, but she had already began to sing:



What would you think if I sang out of tune,


Would you stand up and walk out on me.


Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,


And I'll try not to sing out of key.


Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,


Mmm,I get high with a little help from my friends,


Mmm, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.”



Unable to help herself, Keely sang out loudly, hoping that would reach the cops and put an emphasis on the line, “Mmm,I get high with a little help from my friends,”. Seth began to laugh at her, but joined in for the rest of the song, matching his voice perfectly to hers even though Ringo had sung the song alone originally.


But Keely found it didn't matter, she liked when they sang together.



Do you need anybody?


I need somebody to love.


Could it be anybody?


I want somebody to love.



What do I do when my love is away.


(Does it worry you to be alone)


How do I feel by the end of the day


(Are you sad because you're on your own)


No, I get by with a little help from my friends,


Mmm, get high with a little help from my friends,


Mmm, gonna to try with a little help from my friends



Do you need anybody?


I need somebody to love.


Could it be anybody?


I want somebody to love.



Would you believe in a love at first sight?


Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.


What do you see when you turn out the light?


I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.


Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,


Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,


Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends



Do you need anybody?


I just need someone to love.


Could it be anybody?


I want somebody to love



Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,


Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends


Ooh, I get high with a little help from my friends


Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,


with a little help from my friends.”



Together they continued to sing, somehow managing to stay together without music, and the only direction being Keely whipping her arms around like a composer to no avail. And constantly putting the the emphasis on the word high.


Halfway through the song, she had dropped onto the bench beside him. She'd hooked her arm over her shoulder, moving close as they sang. But when the song ended, she fell back onto the bench, looking at him closely.


“That's the first time I've ever seen you sing something without playing the guitar chords even if you don't have a guitar,” she observed thoughtfully. “Do you not know them?”


“Yeah, I know them.”


“Then why didn't you play them?”


He sighed, turning his head to look at her. “It's called not having an ounce of courage without my guitar, but with you it doesn't matter.”


She wouldn't have been able to stop the large smile that spread across her mouth had she tried, but she didn't. “Sometimes you just remind me of the fact that you're as much a writer as you are a musician.”





- I finally posted this effer, I hope you liked it even though I think it's total shit lol. It's bloody long and there's something wrong with my L on the keyboard, it doesn't want to press half of the time.



Sorry for any mistakes, its five in the morning and I'm really tired and I never proof read anyways.



With A Little Help From My Friends in the external link.



I was going to dedicate this to someone but my head hurts so I can't remember.



Not only does my mind hurt, but my head literally hurts. I broke my nose today. It fucking hurts. Sorry for the language. I was riding and I didn't wear a helmet, so when the horse reared up and smashed its head into my face my nose took the brunt instead of the brim of my helmet. I had to drive myself home for almost an hour holding paper towel to a bleeding nose. And no hospitals, I don't like hospitals blah.



My mom, who happens to be a surgeon lol, decided my nose wasn't straight anymore so she grabbed it and straightened it. Fucking ow. I screamed, my nose freaking crunched. And I looked like a freaking zombie, I had bags under my eyes, a bruised swollen face and dried blood all over me.



Yes I feel mighty bad for myself. I've taken way too much painkillers and I would be sleeping and not in pain, but I thought I should write something because it's been a while since my last post, sorry.



Okay now I want to go sleep, I'm saaaaaaaaaad and tiiiiiiiiiired.



So good night, enjoy and wish me luck for sleeping since I usually sleep with my face in my pillow. That should be easy to do.



Sorry about the self pity rant.

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