Song for this chapter- Outside - Bea Miller

"What are you doing," Nate grumbled lowly.

The sounds his feet dragging on the ground behind me gave me the sense that he was annoyed with me and his mood still hadn't shifted from this morning. I was already over the entire fight and just wanted to get ready to go to this stupid carnival thing.

"What does it look like asshole?" I grieved, shoving my phone quickly into my purse that hung past my hips.

Okay, maybe I wasn't over the whole fight. But it was his fault for being an asshole.

"I'll drive you home" Nate spoke stubbornly, "We don't have time for games tonight."

"There is always time for games," I spoke, "You just can't take being the loser."

Nate reached forward grasping my wrist roughly. With a single movement, I was spun on my feet to face become face to face with Nate.

"If you ruin tonight Lily. I swear to fucking god," Nate seethed simply.

I stared up at him for a moment taking in the fierce look on his face, and the flames that burned in his eyes. Why did hurting Jules affect him so much? Unless. No Nate wouldn't want anything to do with Jules in that way. I stared at him silently. I wasn't the only one affected by the messages... He wanted to hurt her to compensate for the feeling that had grown between all three of us.

"I get it," I exhaled extending my hand forward to press my palm to his cheek, "It is okay, you know to want her."

"What are you even talking about," Nate protested in confusion.

"It's is okay. It is okay to be different and it is okay to be curious. I can't even begin to imagine the curiosity you have after all those years of watching those videos," I continued carelessly.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Nate scoffed.

"It's okay we don't have to talk about it," I sighed, brushing my hair out of my face, "Take me home?"

"This conversation isn't over. I don't know what you are getting at but I am not a fucking fag like my father," Nate huffed out while angrily ripped my hand away from his face. "You ever tell me I am faggot again. I will hurt you."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. It may just all be assumptions at the point but there was something burrowed so deeply inside of him and the way he denied any claim to my accusations only proved more that he was hiding something.

"Just take me to my house to get change," I whimpered adjusting my purse on my shoulder.

"Hurry up," Nate groaned while digging for his truck key in his pockets.

I walked behind him silently, listening to the sound of hundreds of shoes scraping on the pavement. Waves of students climbing onto the school buses, and piling into their vehicle and walking down the streets on their voyages home. The voices all expressed their excitement for tonight's carnival and honestly if I was being honest. I would just prefer to just stay home and have a break from the king of bipolar.

The house still empty for the third night in a row. Mom had been spending less and less time at a home since our last encounter. The fight we had a week ago was by the worst we have ever had. I had just already fought with Nate and came home because I couldn't stand to be around him, within minutes of walking through the door she was yelling at me for something that I can't remember. The fight ended with her leaving for the night, and Nate spending the night.

I flicked the light switch on the wall beside the doorway lighting up my messy room. Multiple of Nates hoodies laid scattered around the room along with countless outfits of my own. The blankets all laid on the edge of the bed and on the floor from our scattering to get to school on time. The plus side to my mom not being hardly home led to my bedroom being the place we spend a lot of our time.

"Lily," Nate called out.

"In my room," I answered back, listening to the sound of the front door slam shut and feet shuffling down the hallway.

I tossed my purse down on the ground and started to strip quickly, the bedroom door opened revealing a very red-cheeked Nate. He stood in the doorway looking my body up and down, a faint smile pressed at his lips but the burning anger in his eyes didn't change.

He had hardly said two words to me since we had left the school. His threatening words echoed in my head over and over again. He said he would hurt me. I upset him so bad that he physically said he would hurt me if I brought it up again. To any normal person that would have been a major red flag. But I couldn't help the burning desire that coursed through me. His threatening words kind of turned me on and I kind of like it. I steppe towards him reaching my arms forward, draping them over his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Nate muttered.

I furrowed my brows looking up at him with my best pouty face. His hard brown eyes stared down at me, still no change.

"Please stop being mad at me," I murmured sadly, "I love you."

"I thought we agreed we weren't going to say that anymore," Nate groaned.

"No. You agreed," I whined. "You decide everything. It is always your way or the fucking highway."

"I love you too," Nate groaned, rolling his eyes.

I took my bottom lip into my teeth delicately to stop the stupid words that wanted to spew from my lips. He may have said it back to just shut me up but I was still going to enjoy the three little words that sent chills down my entire spine. I loved Nate so much that it makes my entire body ache for me.

"Fuck me," I purred.

"We don't have time," Nate protested while dropping his shoulders with a sigh.

Good. A sign that he was starting to relax. I reached behind my back and undid the clasp to my black bra. I moved my arms to my side and waited to the black straps to cascade down my arms and the bra drop to the floor in between both of our feet.

"Please," I pleaded.

I reached my arm forward taking Nate's hand in mine. I pulled him gently into the direction of my bed. Nate stayed silent but stepped forward with my gentle guidance. I stopped in front of the bed, placed both of my hands on either side of his waist and turned his back to the bed. We stared at each other silently while my hands found their way underneath his shirt. My fingers traced the indents of the muscles on his abdomen.

"You don't have to do anything," I explained, pressing my palms flatly against his chest.

"Humor me," Nate uttered in a disembodied tone.

"Okay," I breathed.

I pressed some weight into my palms and pushed Nate onto the bed. He landed on the bed and continued to stare at the ceiling. This was going to be a lot harder then I thought to make him not angry with me. 

______________________________________________________

Moonboard by reddevil22