Waking up the next morning, Áine peeled her sore, puffed-up eyes open. The light from the window illuminated the whole living room area. She had forgotten to close her blinds before she fell asleep.

But how could she when, she was cried herself to sleep. After Kobi had left, she couldn't help but feel hurt from his words. She shouldn't be feeling anything for him but what he said pierced through her.

Till this day, she still had love for him, and she was beating herself up because she didn't want to feel love for him anymore. She was at a point where she was fed up and tired of crying herself to sleep every night. He didn't deserve her nor her tears.

She slowly got up from the couch where she fell asleep and wiggled her toes against her plush carpet. She stretched her limps, shaking the sleep out of her body but somehow, she still felt tired. She was drained.

She walked towards the kitchen and heard her phone vibrating in her bag. She quickly walked towards it before whoever was calling, hung up the call.

Pulling it out and seeing multiple missed calls from her mother and Tanya. She slightly rolled her eyes. Her sister and mother were so overprotective of her and it kind of got to her, lately.

She called Tanya back and placed her phone over her ear, hearing it ring.

"You were supposed to call last night". Tanya immediately said as the call connected.

"Good morning, Tanya, how are you. I'm very well thank you for asking". Áine smiled, sarcasm dipping in her voice.

"Bitch don't start". Tanya said to her.

"I wasn't starting nothing. Greet me like you've got some sense". Áine told her, clearing her sore throat. All her tears were clogged at the back of her throat.

"Why you sound like that?". Tanya asked, her voice sounding concerned.

"Nothing, I just have a sore throat". She lied. The last thing she wanted Tanya knowing was that Kobi was in her house after damn well telling her to never let him in ever again.

"Hmm but did you get in the house safe?" Tanya asked.

"Yes mommy". She playfully scoffed.

"Damn right you know I'm your momma, so you better listen to me".

"Bye Tanya!". Áine chuckled, playfully scoffing.

"Love you sis and call me when you need anything ". Tanya said. After they had said their final words. Áine reached for her purse but she accidentally knocked it off the kitchen island.

The content slipped out causing her to curse at herself. She got on the floor and picked up her things, but a particular item caught her attention.

Taking the card into her hand, she ran her fingers through the writing. She a took a deep breath, her mind going back to the session she had with.

She didn't want to go back to that place, especially the place where she was constantly crying and asking herself if she was good enough.

She stood up, reaching for her phone and searched for Grace Family Counselling. Luckily for her, it was opened but she didn't think she was ready for another round of crying in front of a stranger. But at least this stranger wasn't someone who knew and could easily judge her.

Áine placed her phone back on the kitchen island and decided to head to her room for a shower. A shower was exactly wanted she needed in this moment.

Stepping inside the hot steamy shower, she immediately felt her muscles relaxing. Enjoy the warm water cascading down her body, Áine's thoughts drifted to back when she was pregnant.

She smiled remembering how happy she was. How excited she was to meet her baby for him to be taken away from her just as she gave birth to him.

She shook her head, feeling the tears cascading down her face despite being in the shower. A sob racked through her body, causing her to slide down the wall of the shower as the water poured from above.

"No, no". She chanted, closing her eyes tightly and still seeing herself holding her baby.

"No no, go away please. Go away, nooooo". She rocked her body, shaking her head to clear the visions and slowly but surely, she was getting rid of them.

She just didn't want to slip in her destruction state she was in a few weeks ago. She was doing so much better, and she wanted to keep it that way.

The water turning cold, Áine decided to get out, wrapping a towel around her body. She wiped the mist off the mirror and looked at her reflection staring back.

"You need help ". She said to herself. She shook her head and brushed her teeth. When she was all done, she lathered her body in her jasmine and orchid body oil.

She walked to her drawers pulling her matching undergarments. She put them on and didn't bother looking in the mirror because she didn't want to.

Áine pulled out a random t-shirt and a short. She slipped on her clothes and slipped into her slides. She racked her fingers through her hair which had now turned back to its natural state and was no longer straight.

She let her curls dry out, hanging from the back. She grabbed her keys and purse and was out the door. She didn't bother cleaning the mess made the night before as she was not in the mood. She needed something to get her act together.

1st POV

Sitting the parking lot of GFC (Grace Family Counselling), i brought the bottle of dark liquor up mouth. Feeling the burning sensation and the nasty taste in my mouth was exactly want I needed.

I didn't know how I got to this place, but I was glad to have made it safely. I just had a lot I had to say but I didn't know who to say it to. I couldn't tell Tanya because she could blow things out of proportion, and I didn't need that.

I got out my car and I sluggishly walked towards the door. I could feel the liquor getting to me. It was just a matter of time before I blacked out and didn't remember anything.

Opening the door, I was greeted by the receptionist who didn't know how to say my name the right way. What a bitch I thought.

I walked up to her and slammed my hand against the island. She looked up at me and frowned.

"I n-need to speak to Doctor Celine!". I demanded in a harsh manner. I didn't mean to, but it just came out that way.

"Excuse me?". I saw her eyes widen.

"You heard me". My speech was starting to slur, and I was talking a little slower now. I could feel that I was tipsy.

"I'm sorry but she's currently busy". She said to me with a fake smile on her face.

"Don't give me that face, bitch! And I know she's not busy". I pointed my finger towards her. I was being disrespectful, but my emotions were slowly piling inside me and were ready to explode.

"Ma'am please, there is absolu-".

"If you not going to take me to her then I-I'll take myself ". I stated like a child. I spun around and ran towards the elevator. I hurriedly pressed the button, making it close faster. Just as she was about to get in, the doors closed on her.

I laughed because it was funny to watch. I pressed the floor doctor Celine was on. I was surprised with myself that I still knew the number, even in my state.

The doors dinged, opening and I fixed myself. Why? I don't know. I was ugly and fat anyways. I made a sharp turn, careful not to trip on my feet.

Walking towards the end of the hallway, I spotted Doctor Celine's office. Thoughts ran into my head about why the fuck was I here? Was I doing the right choice?

Deciding that she was the only person who could help me, I lifted my hand and gently knocked on the door.

Hearing her smooth and sweet voice, I turned the knob and opened the door. Again, feeling the same feeling I felt when I first walked in, warmth.

Her intoxicating smell was scattered in the room, and I couldn't help but glance around the room for any changes. I saw none.

"So nice to see you again, Áine ". That was the first thing she said to me. I looked at her and saw her beautiful smile and her white teeth smiling back at me.

"Yeah...". I awkwardly trailed off. Suddenly I didn't know what I came here for.

"Take a seat". She stood up from the desk and walked towards the two couches in the room. I took a glance of what she was wearing, and I was jealous.

Dressed down in jeans which outlined her gorgeous curves and a cute graphic t-shirt which showcases her ample breast and cute white Nike sneakers while I looked like a fat slob in shorts and slides.

She had traded out her red hair for a blonde body wave which looked incredible on her and blended really well with her skin tone. She was beautiful not to mention the glasses she had on.

Taking a seat across from her, I looked down more interested in my manicured fingers than her.

"What brought you back?". She asked rather softly.

"I-I-". I opened my mouth, and nothing came out. The last time I was here I said I was never coming back but here I was.

"You can take your time". She leaned back in the chair and looked at me, showing that she was really interested in what I had to say.

"I just want to talk- I want someone who is neutral in the situation, so it doesn't feel like I'm being judged". I confessed. She nodded her head and that gave me the platform to speak again.

"So, I had a boyfriend for ten years, we started dating when I was fifteen. So, mind you, I think I know this man because we've been together for so long but I clearly, I thought wrong". I rambled.

"I have done some things in the past that I'm not proud of which I can't really talk about right now because it will take me back to a place I do not want to go through at this moment. I just recently found out he had my best friend pregnant not once but TWICE!". I found myself yelling out, but Celine didn't look too bothered by my outburst.

I calmed down from my outburst and went back to my shell. I couldn't understand why I was comfortable with sharing my story.

"You have more to share. Let it out". She gently told me, and I could feel my throat get clogged up and the tears burning in my eyes.

"I-I lost my baby-babies. More than three babies to abortions and miscarriages. I-I feel...lost. I have no purpose". My cheeks were now wet with fresh tears. I didn't want to believe that I was openly talking to her like I knew her.

"I-I d-don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be here. I don't feel like myself. I-I don't even feel like myself anymore. This shit is hard. I have my family around me, but I feel so alone". I could feel the sob leaving my body. I was so comfortable with crying around her.

She held out the box of tissues. I reached out and grabbed a few. Blowing my nose and wiping my tears, I looked up at Celine.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, no woman-you didn't deserve that". She said to me, "sometimes we go through things we never thought we would go through".

"But you are the strongest person from what I've heard. You've managed to leave a situation that no longer served you happiness and here you are standing strong". She tells me.

"I don't feel strong. I am crumbling and falling into a deep dark hole, and I don't think I will ever come back from that". I express.

"You have reached your lowest point, but you will rise from that, that I personally know. You are the strongest person, you just don't know it and trust me, years from now you will look back and be glad on why you didn't give up". She smiled at the end.

I nodded my head taking in her words. Perhaps I just needed to let things out to a stranger so I wouldn't feel judged, and I felt so much better.

I needed that...