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"I'm pregnant," Amy told Tiana.

"Shit! Oh my God! Really?! Amy, this is so exciting! Wait, but that means I'll have to-"

"You have months yet. You can even stay in the couch when we put the nursery up. I'm really sorry it, we didn't plan this, but we're really happy. I can help you find a place. Hey, I can even help you pay."

"I'll be fine, Ames, don't worry. I'm just really happy for you. I'm gonna be an aunt!

"Thank you so much for taking care of Joe," Gloria said to Luke, "I still have to get some things from the store for dinner."

"It's no problem," Luke said, "I got a lot of knowledge to pass on."

"No, you don't," Tiana said, walking into the hallways. Joe instantly ran for her, hugging her legs. "Hey, buddy!" She said, ruffling his hair.

"Why don't you two go play outside?" Luke said, "I have to take care of something upstairs."

"Why are you talking to me like a child?" Tiana asked.

"The amount of times I've had to hold you while you cried at Disney movies? I think you are a child."

"They're sad!"

Tiana took Joe outside to play. "How about we play hide and seek?" Joe suggested, "You go inside and count to... five hundred."

"Five hundred? Don't you think that's a little long?"

"Five hundred! No backsies." Joe pushed Tiana back through the front door and shut it behind him. She shrugged. She was sure nothing bad could happen to him in just five hundred seconds.

She set a timer on her phone and sat down on the couch. Before the time could go off, Luke was running downstairs.

"Tia! What are you doing?!" He asked.

"Counting, why?"

"My nephew is in a tree!"

"He's your uncle- Shit!"

Before the two could even reach the front door, Manny was walking back in with Joe. "Why the hell'd you leave him?!" He asked Luke.

"I left him with Tiana and she just came inside! Why'd you come inside?" Luke asked, turning to Tiana.

"We were playing hide and seek!" Tiana defended, "I didn't know he'd hide all the way up there!"

"I knew she wouldn't find me because she's too small to see the top of the tree," Joe said.

"Rude."

"Well, thanks to you two, now I'm all sweaty, and tia gonna be impossible to judge the silk shirts. They're supposed to blouse, not cling."

Luke reached into Manny's pocket, grabbing the card he'd previously given him. "Hey, can I see that card for a second?"

"What are you doing?" Manny asked.

"I'll put the card back in your hand when you Photoshop that kid's head in an alligator's mouth."

The whole family sat down at the table for dinner.

"Everybody achieved something today, so now it's Joe's turn," Gloria said.

"I didn't achieve anything," Tiana whispered.

"You achieved being hot," Luke whispered back.

"I achieve that everyday."

"Joe, tell us about the first Thanksgiving," Gloria said.

"There was once a land of godless natives," Joe began, "They did not know any better until, one day, the white man arrived. The white man took pity in these primitives by teaching them to cultivate the land. But their kindness was mistaken for aggression, and a war began. Eventually, peace was restored, and we bestowed them with our nation's highest honor - naming football teams for them."

"I don't remember much from school, but I don't think they're allowed to teach that version anymore," Tiana said.

"Joe, what okay is this?" Gloria asked.

"I wasn't in a play," Joe said, "I don't go to school anymore!"

"Alright, fine," Jay said, "We got kicked out, okay? Little argument with the principal."

"You've been lying to me while I was celebrating you as an amazing father?"

"Hey Gloria, this is weird," Alex said, walking into the room with a laptop in hand, "I downloaded your My StepCounter data onto my computer, and it's showing your path this morning was the same route my mom took in her race."

"So I'm basically just your StepCounter mule?" Claire said, "I thought you cared about my race."

"I love you very much, Claire, but your exercise doesn't really interest me."

"Hang on, when did Claire run past Pritchett's Closets?" Jay asked, "Cause this thing says she never got near it."

"Well, that's probably the StepCounter making a mistake," Claire said.

"Oh, did it?" Mitchell said, "Or did you take a little shortcut?"

"No, I was probably going so fast it couldn't even keep up with me. I have a picture of it. Luke?" Luke handed Claire the laptop with a photoshopped picture of her in front of Pritchett's Closets on her race. "And there you go. That is me, clearly running in front of Pritchett's Closets."

"Oh, yeah, yeah. With a Reagan/Bush poster in the window, huh? The photo is a fake!"

"It's not my fault," Luke said, "Manny made it."

"Manny was photoshopping everything?" Gloria asked, "So Joe was in real danger?"

"I did not realise how easy it'd be for you to connect those dots. I left him with Tia!"

"Don't blame me, he wanted to play hide and seek!"

"In a tree?!"

"At least he wasn't at risk of getting kidnapped in that tree. Do you know how many kids go missing while playing hide and seek?"

"How many? I don't know, but I bet none of them were taken whilst hiding in trees!"

"Pretty disappointed in you two," Jay said.

"Well, it's easy to see where Luke learned it from," Mitchell said, "His mother's a cheater!"

"What?!" Claire asked, "Oh, don't get so hot and bothered. Your makeup's already running. Do you have a Chinese character on your bruise?"

"It's probably an imprint from the intruder's ring. I'm sure he was in a gang of some sort."

"Just give it up, Mitchell," Cam said, "He knocked himself out with some nunchucks that I confiscated as acting vice principal."

"Oh my God!" Claire yelled, "Kung Sue is back. Daddy, did you hear that?"

"Well, Cam didn't really win the football game," Mitchell pointed his finger at Cam, "Uh huh, he stole the last play from the lady coach!"

"Accidentally! I overhead it on a walkie-talkie that I require as an acting vice principal, which is a position I'm pretty proud of because I'm basically a sheriff."

"Hey!" Haley said, "Dad is doing his trick, and he's never done it before, he could die."

Everyone ran outside to see Phil in a telephone box which was filling up with water.

"Phil! Honey, wait, you don't have to do this," Claire said.

"Yes, I do!" Phil said, "I'm the only lose in a remarkable family of winners."

"No, no, no," Gloria said, "We are not all winners. It turned out we all stink."

"It doesn't matter! I don't want to live a life ruled by fear! I have to do this trick today. Although, it is getting hard to breathe!"

"Don't stop, dad!" Alex encouraged, "You can do this! I believe in you!"

"That's not helping, honey!"

"Interesting."

"Okay, I'm just gonna try to barrel through this. It's Normandy, I'm an American G.I beamed Tony Ranzetti. I'm from Brooklyn, and I love my mama's home cooking! But I don't think I'm gonna  be able to get out!"

"Is he talking as Tony Ranzetti or as Phil?" Gloria asked.

"What is wrong with you cowards?" Mitchell asked, "Phil needs help!"

Mitchell picked up the garden house and swung it at the telephone box, but it backfired and hit him in the head.

"It's too late to get out!" Phil yelled, "This was a mistake!"

"Something's wrong," Haley said, "Dad?"

There was a sound of electricity crackling as the 'Telephone' sign flashed, then the whole box went up on smoke. When the smoke cleared, the army uniform Phil had been wearing stood alone.

"Holy crap, where'd he go?!" Jay exclaimed. 

"Private Ranzetti reporting Operation Overlord is a success," Phil said from behind them. They turned around to see him now in a suit, holding a cocktail. "Cocktails are on me."

Everyone clapped, walking back into the dining room. After they'd finally had dinner, they scattered around the house as they usually did.

Tiana sat on the couch, stretching her legs across Luke. "You okay?" He asked, placing a hand on her knee.

"Yeah, why?" Tiana raised a brow.

"It's just your first Thanksgiving without... you know."

"I haven't thought about them all day. It's fine. Plus, they're kind of being replaced with a new addition to the family."

Luke's face changed from calm to panicked in an instant, and he practically threw Tiana's legs off of him. "What?!"

"Jesus, Luke, it's not me, it's Amy."

"Oh. I didn't offend you, did I?"

"Of course not. If anything, I'm glad you wouldn't wanna have kids this young. I mean, the way we were with Joe today? We're totally not ready."

"True. But the time'll come, right?"

"Yeah. The time'll come."