A couple days have passed since Colby came to Ohio to be with me. Unfortunately his visit was coming to an end today since he had to go to Alaska to start filming the next video in his series.
They were going skydiving there as well as visiting ice caverns and glaciers. I was honestly pretty jealous but I couldn't just up and leave whenever I wanted to, so I was just gonna stay behind.
"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Colby asked as I helped pack his stuff up. "I want to come but unfortunately, I cannot." I said as he frowned. "Please?" He asked causing me to laugh.
"No. I can't leave my job everytime we make up after a fight. I'm not moving across the country again for a long ass time and I'm not going to Alaska with you." I said with a laugh as he pulled me into him by my waist.
"You know I'll take care of you, V." He said as I shook my head. "Actually...we've never been in a relationship for more than a couple months so our track record isn't exactly the most comforting." I teased as he kissed my neck.
"But I want you to stay with me." He said as I shook my head. "Not gonna happen." I said but wrapped my arms around him anyways.
I wanted to get up and move across the country to be with Colby but I also knew that it didn't work like that. I couldn't just keep moving whenever we were doing okay.
"You're gonna be late." I said then pulled away from him. "Maybe that's the goal." He said as I rolled my eyes. "I'm not dying, you can call me all you want." I said as he shook his head. "It's not the same." He said as I grabbed his bag and started walking out of the room.
"We went nine months without seeing or talking to eachother I think we can handle this." I said as he sighed. "What's gonna happen though, V? We can't keep pretending like long distance is gonna work." Colby said as I sighed.
"I don't know what's gonna happen, but I just want to be able to trust our relationship enough to move out to LA again." I said as we made our way to my car.
"I understand that..I do..but I don't know if I can let you walk out of my life again." Colby said quietly as I sighed and turned to him. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm just a phone call away." I said and brought my hand to his cheek.
"Promise you'll think about moving back?" He asked as I nodded. "I'll think about it." I said then placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
When we got to the airport I felt a bit of dread, knowing Colby was leaving me again. I didn't want to be clingy but I just got him back in my life, I wasn't ready for him to go.
When I pulled into the terminal I felt my heart break again. "I'll call you when I land, okay?" Colby asked as I nodded. "Please be safe." I said then kissed him. "I will be. Okay...I love you." He said as my heart fluttered in my chest.
"I love you too." I said as he opened the door and grabbed his bag. I watched as he made his way into the airport. I watched him until he was out of view then drove away.
It felt a little strange being alone again.
I had to go to work later though so I had a feeling that would help bring a little more normalcy into my life again.
I went home and took a shower so I could wash away all of the sadness and stress I was feeling. I wanted to go to Alaska with him but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I found myself growing dependent on him once again.
That's what scared me.
I spent the next couple hours getting ready for work. I was on my way there when Ki called me.
"Hello?" I answered after a couple rings. "Hey babes! How are things going there?" She asked excitedly as I drove. "Things are okay. Colby left this morning." I said with a sigh. "What?! His bitch ass was supposed to stay a week!" She yelled as I laughed.
"Yeah, but he had to go shoot a video with Sam. They couldn't reschedule." I explained as she groaned. "So now you're alone?" She asked as I nodded. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." I said and pulled into the parking lot at work.
"Why didn't you just go with him? You two are obsessed with eachother, you can't just let him leave again!" She said as I shrugged. "I can't follow him around like a lost puppy." I said as she sighed.
"I get that but I'm worried about you, V. I don't like you being all alone out there." She said as she huffed out a breath.
"I'm fine, Ki. I just can't get up and move across the country every time Colby and I fight and make up." I said and pulled my knees to my chest.
"I get that, but he's not the only person who's in LA. He's not then only one you left." She said causing me to sigh. "It's just scary. I don't know, man." I said and leaned my head back.
"I know it is. I think you should consider moving back though...now that your grandma is gone, what's keeping you there?" She asked as I sighed.
"I don't know...I have to go to work though. I have to go." I said and let out a breath. "I didn't mean to make you upset, V." Ki said as I shook my head. "You didn't. I just have a lot to think about." I said then got out of the car. "Okay...love you." She said as I nodded. "Love you too." I said then hung up.
Her words were stuck in my head as I walked into the building. What was keeping me here? I had spent the past nine months taking care of my grandma, and now she was gone.
What was I here for?
I stopped in my tracks and looked up at the hospital. I didn't even like what I was doing all that much, it wasn't what I went to school for and it wasn't what I was passionate about. Why was I doing it?
I took a deep breath then walked through the doors and straight to my boss's office.
"Hey, Violet. Everything okay?" Jeremy asked as I nodded. "I quit." I said as his brow scrunched. "Woah, what happened?" He asked as I shook my head. "I can't be here anymore. I am so grateful for the opportunity you've given me but..I have to go." I said as he nodded.
"It was a pleasure working with you, Violet. I hope you achieve everything you want to achieve." Jeremy said as I nodded. "Thank you. Thank you for everything." I said then nodded and left the room.
I had no idea what I was doing or what my plan was but Ki was right.
There was no reason for me to be here anymore.
I drove home and ran up the stairs. "Violet?!" Beatrice called out as she followed me up the stairs. "Beatrice. I'm so so thankful for you, so so thankful...but it's time to go back to LA." I said as she looked at me with confusion.
"Where did this come from?" She asked as I started shoving things into my bag. "I just realized that I have nothing left here. I've served my purpose." I said and put my hand on my necklace.
"Okay! Are you sure about this?" She asked as I nodded. "Yes. I'm sure." I said as she nodded. "Okay. Let me help you." She said then helped me pack all of my things.
I didn't have that many things so it didn't take long. We packed everything into my car then turned to eachother.
"Are you gonna be okay?" Beatrice asked as I nodded. "I think so. Thank you for everything." I said then hugged her. "You're always welcome here, sweetheart. Let me know when you get there, okay? Also you have to visit. Oh, I'm gonna miss you." She said and hugged me tightly.
"I'm gonna miss you, too. I'll come visit, I promise." I said then sighed. "I'll call you when I get there," I said then got in the car.
"Drive safe, sweetheart. I love you." Beatrice said as I waved and smiled. "I love you, too." I said then took a deep breath and started the car.
Beatrice waved one last time as I drove away. I knew it was going to be hard to leave Ohio but I had to do it.
I had to get back to LA.