Kasey's POV

January 9, 2020

I put in my last pin curl, and then looked at the mirror and smiled. I missed putting pin curls in my hair every night- which is something I never thought I'd say about such a tedious process. But I had missed this type of performing, I missed everything about it. I missed pin curls, putting on costumes, mic checks, listening to the orchestra rehearse, and so much more. Tonight was opening night for Moulin Rouge, and it was hard to believe that I was finally making a broadway debut. I'd been able to see so many of my friends make theirs, and now it was finally my turn. Ben couldn't come to watch because of West Side Story previews, but I knew that Josh, Dan, Casey and many of our other friends were sitting in the audience.

As our hair stylist started to carefully put on my wig, I went on Instagram. Many of my friends had made posts wishing me luck for my opening night, and I went through and liked and reposted some. I decided to check my tagged photos, which I hadn't done in awhile. I was so lucky to have so many amazing people supporting me and I tried to reply to as many posts and messages as I could, but there was always the occasional rude comment or hateful post that was hard to see. Tonight, I saw many sweet posts of people telling me to "break a leg", and I made sure to comment on almost all of them.

"Break a leg Kasey!! So excited to see you kill it on broadway🤩"

"Can't wait to see Moulin Rouge at some point!! Happy opening and happy broadway debut to Kasey☺️"

"Feels like yesterday she was just Young Katherine :,) miss it but so proud of our girl!!"

Again, I was so lucky to have such amazing people support me. I didn't quite feel deserving of all the support, I don't think I'd ever get used to people knowing who I am. I'm verified on social media, how weird is that? I still felt like such an average person. I don't know what I did right to make the universe shine down on me about 6 years ago when I got cast into Newsies, but I was forever thankful for the career I get to have and for all the dreams that have turned into reality.

I continued scrolling through my tagged photos, and I saw a photo of Ben and I together. It was an old photo, taken sometime on tour together. I hesitated before clicking on it and reading the caption.

"ben and kasey haven't posted anything together in awhile :( i sure hope they're okay bc they've been together for so long. do y'all think they broke up??"

I knew I shouldn't look at the comments, but I was too curious and I clicked on the comment section and read the whole thread.

"I think they did :(( i wonder what happened"

"maybe they just want to keep their relationship more private, y'all gotta stop assuming things"

"why do i low-key feel like kasey cheated or something i just feel like she'd do that"

"i feel like they've just fallen out of love"

"no i feel like ben cheated. kasey would never and i feel like she cares about him more"

"i doubt either of them cheated lmao. things just don't work sometimes"

"didn't ben make an opening night post for kasey today? i think they're fine tbh"

"omg noooo don't break my newsies heart"

I turned off my phone and put it on the counter, and sighed. Yeah, I shouldn't have clicked on the post. It's never fun to read about people assuming things about your life on the internet. That's all that it was, assumptions. But I couldn't help but think about how even fan accounts could notice something was off with us. Have things really gotten this bad? I need to stop letting internet comments get to me. It didn't matter what anyone thought of me, I reminded myself. Ben and I were okay, for now. That last fight had been big. But we were okay I think. My wig was finally on and I stood up, straightening out my costume and making sure my makeup was perfect in the mirror.

"Looking good Kasey! You excited for tonight?" Amanda, another ensemble member, came into the dressing room a few of us shared.

"Beyond excited!" I smiled back, thankful for a distraction from my earlier thoughts. It's opening night on broadway, this is where my focus should be. There was a knock at the door.

"No one's naked, right? Can I come in?"

"Yes, Aaron. Come in," Amanda laughed. Aaron Tveit was our Christian, and he was fantastic of course. He was a great person to work with. Aaron opened the door and smiled, he was holding a camera in his hand.

"Say hi to Broadway.com!"

"Hi Broadway.com!" We all chorused, and waved to the camera.

"Love the energy for our first vlog! Opening night, exciting things happening. Alright, everyone go around the room and introduce yourself and tell us what you're most excited for tonight." Aaron went around the room, following everyone with the camera.

"Hi! I'm Kasey Hartley and I'm an ensemble member. I'm most excited for everything tonight really, but most importantly I'm making my broadway debut!" I grinned to the camera, and everyone clapped.

"Exciting stuff! I'm gonna go check in with the guys, thank you ladies for being in the vlog!" Aaron waved and started talking to the camera as he left. I looked back to my mirror, and smiled. Almost showtime, and I couldn't be more ready.

-

I grabbed my backpack and leaned down to tie my sneakers. Opening night had gone by without any problems, I was still full of so much energy from the excitement of it all. The night I'd been waiting for had finally happened. I had our opening night celebration to look forward to later, but for now I was heading to the stage door. Another thing I had missed so much. I walked out of my dressing room and opened the stage door, immediately immersed in the chaos. There was cheering and a whole crowd of people. It was overwhelming, but I loved it all. I started at the front of the line, signing playbills and taking as many pictures as I could. Everyone was super sweet as usual. As I made my way down the line, Casey and Dan were waiting by the barriers, just like everyone else.

"Kasey!" they both cheered and hugged me, and then handed me a gift bag.

"You guys are the best. Thanks for coming."

"You were incredible! I'm so proud of you," Dan smiled.

"You're truly a star," Casey nodded. After talking with them for a bit, I continued down the line of people. I got closer to the middle, and I was shocked to see two very familiar people.

"Kasey Hartley! Very big fan," Bryce held out his playbill with a wide grin on his face, and Russell was right next to him.

"What are you guys doing here?" I squealed and wrapped them both in a hug. "I thought you were gonna come visit next week."

"Surpriseee," Russell winked. "You think we'd miss your big night?"

"Don't you guys have work? School?"

"Not as important," Bryce shrugged. I felt tears prick my eyes, happy tears. They were truly my biggest supporters, all the time.

"Thank you. It means the world that you're here," I grinned.

"I'm so proud of you, K dawg." Bryce said, and I cringed at the nickname per usual. He really was never going to stop calling me that, huh?

"We're so proud of you," Russell corrected, a soft smile on his face. He handed me some flowers. "It's from the both of us."

"Look at all this," Bryce gestured around the stage door in disbelief. "You're a part of all this. Isn't that something? It feels like just yesterday when we were all apart of the crowded stage door when we took our NYC trips. Now you're the reason for the crowded stage door."

"I think Aaron Tveit is the reason for the crowded stage door actually," I chuckled.

"I know, I know," he laughed. "What I mean is that you've come so far. And you deserve every bit of success. I say that all the time, I know. But I mean it. I love getting to brag about how talented you are."

"Congrats on your special night Kasey," Russell chipped in. I hugged them both again.

"Thank you guys, seriously. We'll hang out later, okay?" They nodded and I left to continue down the line. I was getting towards the end.

"Kasey!" I heard someone shouting my name multiple times. I turned my head to see it was Josh, frantically waving with a concerned look on his face near the exit door. Security had already made their way over, trying to get him to stop. I quickly rushed over.

"It's okay! He's with me," I told security, and they nodded and backed off.

"Josh? You okay?"

"It's Ben," Josh let out a breath, as if he'd been running. "He injured something during the preview tonight, I don't know what happened. But it's bad I think. Really bad. One of his cast mates tried calling you but since you didn't pick up they called me."

"Oh my god. Where is he? Is he at the hospital?"

"They're still at the theater I think." My heart started pounding, and I was immediately twisted with worry. But it's bad I think. Really bad. Josh's words replayed in my head. Ben, please be okay.

"Okay. I'm gonna go," I mumbled and exited the stage door area, getting away from the crowds.

"Update me, okay?" Josh yelled as I hurriedly started making my way across Times Square. I gave him a thumbs-up, and then made my way to the theater West Side Story was in. My anxiety only spiked higher, knowing Ben was hurt without many details was scary. My mind went to the worst, even though I knew he was probably okay. Right? I made it to the stage door, panting. I explained my situation to security, but they didn't seem to believe me.

"Can you at least go get someone? Please, I need to be in there."

"The show's ending soon, ma'am you might as well just-" The stage door opened, and Thomas, one of the ensemble members appeared.

"Hey, Kasey." He nodded, and then turned to security. "She's Ben's girlfriend," he confirmed, and they finally let me in. The door shut behind me, and my heart was still pounding as we started walking backstage.

"Thanks for coming."

"Is he okay? What happened?"

"He dislocated his shoulder, pretty badly. We're not sure if he needs surgery yet, but he's going to be out for awhile." Ben's shoulder had been in rough shape for awhile now, and my mind went to all the times he'd brushed it off. I knew how excited he was to be in this production so he didn't want to take any time off, but this was an injury with a long-term recovery. Poor Ben.

"Geez. How'd it happen?"

"You know the fake rain we have? He slipped on it and landed in a really unfortunate way. He's not the only who's slipped before either."

"He's not the only one? Why haven't they stopped doing the fake rain?"

"They don't really care," Thomas shrugged.

"That's horrible," I frowned. I was starting to understand why Ben was always so stressed- they didn't seem to care about their actors.

"Yeah. He's in a lot of pain right now, I think they're gonna take him to the hospital soon. He's in here though," he pointed into the dressing room we had just stopped at. I peered into the room, and there was Ben sitting on the floor, his face twisted in pain as he clutched an ice pack to his shoulder. He was surrounded by some of his cast, the producers, and a medic. My heart sank as I watched him wince helplessly.

"Ambulance will be here soon, okay?" The medic said to Ben, and stood up. Everyone got up and left the room, murmuring some well wishes to Ben. I stood at the doorway for a moment, and Ben didn't look up. I walked into the room, and sat down next to Ben. There was still silence.

"How you feeling?" I quietly asked.

"Horrible," he muttered.

"I'm sorry Ben," I put an arm around him, and leaned my head against his good shoulder. "I heard what happened. That must have hurt. I'm just glad you're okay." He nodded, and we were both silent for another moment.

"They're firing me." Ben deadpanned.

"What?" I sat up straight.

"They're firing me. They just told me."

"No. They can't fire you. You're going to get better and recover. They don't need to fire you."

"The recovery's gonna be long, Kasey. Especially if I have to get surgery. And they don't want to wait that long. I'm of no use to them."

"But- they can't. You guys haven't even opened yet. You still have plenty of time to come back," I said, refusing to accept that they were just going to fire him. They're the ones who created the problem that ultimately injured him. Why wouldn't they even give him a chance to recover?

"They're firing me. And there's nothing I can do about it," Ben let out a shaky sigh, and my stomach sank as I watched the sadness in his face. I felt so broken for him, I knew how much this job meant to him. He was Riff, it was an important role. I hated that he had to give this up. I wrapped my arm around him a little tighter, feeling the sadness of the moment. There was nothing I could say to be of comfort. I watched as he stared into the distance with a blank face, and I gently kissed his cheek.

"Ambulance is here," the medic popped back into the room, and we both helped Ben get up carefully without moving his shoulder.

-

"Kasey? Kasey, wake up." I blinked a couple times as I heard my name, and then squinted as my eyes met the bright lights. I slowly looked around the room, realizing I was in a hospital room. I'd fallen asleep on two chairs, and Ben was knelt down beside me.

"Hmm?"

"It's time to go home," Ben whispered. I just blinked, trying to recall everything that happened this night. I remembered riding in the ambulance with Ben, being at the hospital with him, but after that it was all a blur.

"Home?"

"Yeah." Ben smiled softly and brushed the hair back that had fallen into my eyes.

"But your shoulder-"

"You fell asleep not long after we got here," Ben chuckled. "I'm all cleared to go. I don't need any surgery, they were able to put it back into place," Ben held his arm up, showing off his sling. "And no other problems according to X rays. I have lots of physical therapy ahead of me, but it could be worse."

"Oh. Oh wow. Sorry, I can't believe I fell asleep. I feel bad that you had to be alone for all that."

"Don't apologize, you were exhausted. I wasn't alone. I had you, even if you were knocked out." I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes, and then stood up. I checked my phone, and the time was 3am. I realized I'd missed my opening night party, and I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I'd really been looking forward to it. But Ben was okay, and that's all I needed to know tonight.

"Thanks for coming, and just being here with me," he continued.

"Of course," I smiled sleepily, and we started walking out of the room. Despite the fact that Ben was going to be okay, which was a big relief- I still felt the sad mood. Even though Ben hasn't said much, losing this role was heartbreaking to him. I hated that he had to cut his West Side Story journey so short. Even with everything our relationship has been through lately, I still cared about him more than anyone.

As we stood in the subway station waiting for the next one to come, I saw a poster for West Side Story hanging up across the tracks. It was one that Ben was pictured on, and my heart sank even more if that was possible. I looked over at Ben, who was staring at the poster. His eyes were glossed over, welled up with tears. I sighed, and took Ben's hand and gently squeezed it. Lately, there's been moments where it feels like the world has lost all its color. This was another one of those moments.

-

😔✌️