Ben's POV

August 17, 2015

New York, NY

I already felt at relief as soon as I was in the airport, ready to be out into the city. As much as I enjoyed touring, I realized how good it felt to get away, the main reason being Kasey though. As soon as I exited the airport, the sights and sounds of the city filled me up and calmed me. I texted my agent to let him know I was here, and I called an Uber and waited by the sidewalk. New York was always so calming to me, I couldn't wait to live here if these auditions worked out. I'd spent a lot of time in high school here, but I was usually too busy to really notice anything. I checked my phone to see the plan for the week- I had auditions scheduled for Hamilton, Aladdin, a new show called On Your Feet!, and another new show called Tuck Everlasting. I was excited for new adventures, but something deep down made me feel sad. This cast was so special, we're all so close in ways that no one else can be. I've never been this close to a cast, and I've never had such an amazing family that I will always cherish forever. I know we all felt the same, we were all so connected in a way.

A part of me was questioning my decision, but I pushed those thoughts back down as I found my Uber and got to my hotel. After getting all my things settled, I decided to take a walk and enjoy the fresh air and the view. I bought a pretzel from a food cart, and then headed to Central Park. It was peaceful, there was a nice breeze and it wasn't too hot. Birds were chirping, and I could hear kids laughing. I even met a few fans of Newsies, who recognized me and were excited to meet me. Later, I found some studio space, so I could get ready for my auditions. It was a great day, so why didn't I feel great? All I wanted to do was call Kasey and try to fix everything. But when I'd told her I was leaving, she didn't say anything. Why didn't she care? I wanted to ask her a billion questions to figure out what happened. But I couldn't.

-

Kasey's POV

After getting some Italian ice with Meredith, Wren, Melissa, and Dan, I headed back to my hotel room for some downtime before the show. As I opened the door, I saw Morgan and Jordan quickly pull away from what appeared to be a kiss. They both had shocked but embarrassed looks on their face. Morgan was trying to hide a smile, and Jordan twisted his lips nervously. We stared at each other in silence, as a slow smile crept on my face.

"Hey guys," I grinned. They looked at each other, and Jordan let out a laugh.

"I didn't mean to interrupt-"

"No it's okay, I gotta get going anyway. See ya Mo," Jordan shot a glance at Morgan, and waved as he left. As soon as the door shut, I squealed.

"Morgan! How long has this been a thing?" I giggled as she blushed.

"I didn't even know this was a thing. I mean I did. I mean I don't know," She rambled, and we both jumped up and down together.

"He was flirting with me a lot recently. I just wasn't sure what it meant. And then today he told me he liked me. And I did too. And I guess we're dating now," She grinned. I was super happy for Morgan, they'd been such great friends and she deserved a great boyfriend. We both gushed for a little longer, then got ready to go to the theatre. I stretched and warmed up with Sky, and he made me laugh hard as usual. The show was great, and the fans at the stage door were sweet as usual. Some fans had brought me my favorite candy, which was really kind, along with the other stage door gifts I received. After, pretty much the whole cast went bowling, and we had a great time. Johnny proved himself to be an incredible bowler, beating everyone in his lane. I had a great week as well, I took a break from social media, and kept my mind occupied. I focused on keeping myself healthy, and I was very proud of myself for not falling into any old bad coping mechanisms. I was still so incredibly sad, though. Tour was still fun, and I still loved it all. But it wasn't the same now that Ben and I weren't even speaking. Before going to bed that night, I dug through my backpack, and found the Polaroid that girl had taken of us earlier this year. I felt my heart sink as I looked at Ben kissing my forehead. I felt my vision grow blurry as tears pooled my eyes. We were so happy. Now, I'm so miserable. It was all my fault. I'm sorry, Ben. I wish there was something I could do to make you understand.

-

Meredith and Steve were going on a lunch date and asked me to babysit Wren, and of course I said yes. I couldn't resist those chubby cheeks and curly blonde hair. We were in my hotel room watching a Barbie movie, (the Princess and the Pauper to be exact), when Sky dropped by.

"Well if it isn't my favorite big human and my favorite tiny human!" he exclaimed, and Wren giggled. I smiled and patted the place next to me on the bed. He came and sat down.

"Ooo a chick flick. My favorite," Sky said, and I laughed.

"So... You doing alright?" he lowered his voice. I felt a little pang in my chest.

"I can't believe he's leaving. I guess I magically thought we would be able to get back together. I just wish I could explain it all to him," I vented. Sky nodded.

"I'm sorry Kasey."

"It's fine. I dug myself this hole. I should have known mixing business with pleasure couldn't be good," I groaned, and he chuckled.

"After you're done hanging out with Wrenny, wanna get in a quick dance sesh?"

"Of course. Now, if you will, we have an important movie to get back to!" I gestured, and he laughed and left.

"Kasey? Can I be a princess? Just like the blonde one?" Wren looked to me.

"Of course," I smiled. "You can be anything you want to be." I was always happy to be with Wren, and I loved watching her grow while she was with us.

-

After I'd finished doing some dancing with Sky, I went back to my hotel room and decided I would call Amber. We hadn't called each other in awhile. She still didn't even know about the breakup. I took a deep breath, and listened to the ring.

"Kasey?"

"Hey, Amber!" I said, trying to be cheerful.

"Hey!" It felt like we were back to being so distant after seeing each other, which made me sad. She sounded kind of monotone, but we continued our conversation, even though it was kind of choppy. When I asked her how her summer had been, she didn't have much to say.

"What's new with you?" she asked, and I perked up as she finally carried the conversation. But, I realized the thing that was new with me was bad. I couldn't tell her. After all her pep talks and time she'd spent telling me that Ben would be good for me, I couldn't tell her what happened. She'd be disappointed in me. I decided to instead tell her about our latest tour stop, and our conversation didn't really get much better.

"Well, um... I'll let you go. Just wanted to check in," I said awkwardly.

"Wait- um. I love you Kasey. So much."

"I love you more," I smiled before hanging up with a sigh. I'm sorry I let you down Amber. Life was starting to feel lonely again, and this time Amber wasn't really by my side. I suppose it was my fault, as usual. What do I even do?

-

Ben's POV

After finishing up my auditions and catching a flight back to my tour family, I was pretty exhausted. I was also excited to hear back from the auditions, and feeling pretty good about my chances. I was zoning out thinking about this at the airport, that I didn't even see Josh come up to me.

"My brotha," Josh grinned, leaning in for a hug.

"Josh! I missed you."

"How did everything go? Feeling good?"

"Yeah! I'm feeling good. Glad to be back," I smiled. Even though I said I was glad to be back, I was kind of dreading seeing everyone, especially Kasey. I masked the dread as we left the airport, and Josh told me about what he'd been doing and any funny stories he had. Here we go again.

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