"I'm sorry I'm late but I got you some sunflowers," I smiled sitting down on the grass, "I know that is not an excuse but I knew they would put a smile on your face."

I placed the flowers in the holder beside my grandmother's grave. It still felt unreal to be sitting here with her. I could still smell her strawberry candy lipstick on my cheek like she had already kissed me. I remember when my mom would drop me off late and she would be so upset until I pulled out a sunflower. It was such a bittersweet memory because now I couldn't see how happy it made her.

A lone tear fell before I wiped it off and laughed sadly, "I miss you so much. I have so much to tell you."

I pulled out my phone and went through my pictures but I continued to talk, "Mom still hasn't changed her hours at work and no she is not seeing anyone yet. I know you are worried about her but she is fine."

The wind blew hard almost knocking the sunflowers out of the holder. I quickly adjusted it and said, "I know you don't like it but she just doesn't want to date."

I pulled up the picture I wanted and turned my phone towards the tombstone, "But guess what? This is the guy that I am seeing."

The picture was of Harry and the only person I've ever shown her was of Kiana, my first serious relationship. I should have known that it wasn't going to end well because when I showed her picture, it rained. Right now, the wind was steady and everything was quiet. This made me think that she was listening or liking the way he looked. I smiled, "I know he looks good right but it's not officially anything yet. Plus, I know you are probably mad at me for all my extra activities that I have been doing, so I wanted to show you that I could actually like someone."

She was always real with me except for the whole seahorse thing so it was only right that I told her about what I have been doing. She had given me the talk before and after I came out to her. My mother told her to stop giving me condoms at the beginning of my ninth-grade year and she would say, "If he comes in here with a disease or baby, then it's gonna be your fault."

I wasn't even thinking about sex at that time but after her passing, I just didn't know how to cope. That's when I met Deonte and that was a huge mistake because I had to tell her about the chain. Then Kiana came along and I thought that she was perfect until she betrayed me.

I sat for a few more moments before really looking at the tombstone. It hits me every time that she can't talk back to me. She was the first person I truly was honest with other than my mother. She taught me about loving who I was even when I didn't know. The familiar burning of my face let me know that the water works were about to come. I shamelessly choked up, tears falling rapidly down my face and uncaring if I will ever catch my breath.

I breathe deeply but I still cried, "I really wish you could talk back to me. I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate. Darrius is for sure going to get an academic or athletic scholarship while I'll be lucky enough to even get an athletic. But I don't want to play basketball. That's Darrius not me."

I used my jackets arm to wipe my face again before continuing, "I love designing. You are the only person I can actually say that too. I love it so much but I don't want to hurt my mom. She thinks designing took my father away and I know that wasn't it. He was just a selfish man that didn't want his family to get in the way of his dreams. I don't want her to think they will do the same."

The wind blew against my face and I thought she was touching me. A calming sensation washed over me and I just cried a little more. Then I heard footsteps and my eyes shot open. No one really comes here since it's a private section of the cemetery. I stood up and looked around. I saw a tall figure in the distance before a clear view of blonde hair and black jacket appeared. It was coming closer and the way this person slumped over seemed familiar.

Then they stopped and stared at me, holding a few flowers. Then I heard my name, "Chris?"

I knew that voice. It was confident yet afraid that they have made a mistake. I answered, "Yea? Do I know you?"

The person came closer and then I saw the face. It was Evan. His hair was longer and he had grown a little hair on his face. He smiled awkwardly approaching me. I smiled back and said, "Who are those for?"

He bit his lip and said, "My grandmother. She uhm passed away over the holidays and I just wanted to come visit."

I remember that fresh wound. Everything comes into perspective when you lose someone that meant something to you. You realize that life isn't forever and that anyone could be gone tomorrow. I wiped my face again and Evan looked at me, "I heard you crying."

I let out a small laugh and said, "Damn I didn't know I was that much of a cry baby."

"I've never seen you cry before," Evan stated, "Even when you went down on your ankle that one game our sophomore year."

I hissed thinking about that. I went down wrong from taken a shot and I snapped my ankle bad but I recovered great. I was surprised he remembered because at that time Darrius's and Caleb's friends were not the most peaceful with each other. I looked at him again and I could tell that he wasn't making eye contact.

"You know you can look at me right," I joked and he pulled his head up.

"Yea, I'm just thinking," he said, "How often do you come here?"

"Every second Saturday of every month."

"Weirdly specific," he said sounding a little taken back, "Why every second Saturday?"

I took a deep breath in trying not to lose control of my emotions, "That is personal but it's a good reason."

He nodded in understanding before looking at his feet again. He shifted them back and forth before he blurted, "This is my first visit here."

He continued sounding like he was on the verge of tears, "She meant a lot to me, you know? I told her about Marcus and I. She wanted to meet him but I fucked it up."

"Wait, you told your grandmother about Marcus?" I asked shocked. He nodded, "Yeah. That's before I realized that I couldn't be with him. Not now. She was the only person that knew. Then she passed."

That's when he broke down. Right there in front of me. He even dropped his flowers. I was seeing the side that Caleb probably hasn't even seen. He was really going through something and I understood his pain so greatly. He continued to cry, "My dad kicked me out and Caleb is too wrapped up in your best friend to even call me. I guess I deserve this."

I touched him and said, "Your dad kicked you out? Where are you staying?"

He just shook his head and said, "You don't want to know the places I've stayed. My clothes are at the school gym but the rest are at my dad's place until I find somewhere else. He said that was him being nice."

I took him into my arms and let him cry. I couldn't imagine if my whole family didn't talk to me. He was completely alone and here I was worried about if Harry was interested in me. He was going through so much and he was about to become a dad. Now what he did to Marcus made sense. He went around it the wrong way but I understand. He really needed just a small break and for the life of me I don't know what came over me but I wanted to give it to him.

"Who brought you here?" I asked him still hugging him. His tears still fell before he answered, "The bus."

"That's a long ass ride," I said making him laugh. Then a crazy idea popped into my head. I closed my eyes and thought there was a reason I saw him today. After taking a deep breath, I said," My house has a few extra beds and it's only me and mom."

He slowly pulled away before looking at me. He looked almost as surprised as me that I was even saying this. He shook his head in confusion and said, "Wait...are you saying that I can come live with you?"

"Just for the time being," I quickly responded, "You have to find a job and stuff. You know earn your keep. Plus clean up the house. I hate doing that. Hasn't Caleb suggested this?"

He turned away from me and stated, "Like I said...he is wrapped up in Darrius. I can barely talk to him about anything without Darrius interfering. I haven't told him."

My eyes widen as I said, "But he is your best friend. You have to tell him."

"No! Just please...don't tell him or Darrius."

I cringed at that. Darrius is like my brother and I have never kept a secret from him. Well the Caleb thing but it didn't even last all of 24 hours before I dropped hints. However, Evan has never done anything to me and I felt sorry for the guy. So, listening to my conscience, I just nodded.

**

My mom was sitting on the couch looking from me to Evan. This was one of her off days and I know she didn't feel like deciding anything especially today. She was expressionless, wearing her baggy plaid pajamas. I could tell by the empty bag of chips and sad music coming from the tv that she was in the middle of her romantic movie marathon.

She leaned over with her hands together. Then she looked up at us and asked, "This isn't going to be one those things where y'all are going to end up sleeping together is it?"

Evan coughed out of surprise and I never felt so embarrassed by my mother. My eyes had widened as I rapidly shook my head and answered, "Nooooo! He likes someone else okay and just...no mom. No."

She continued to look at Evan and asked, "You don't have any other family?"

"No one wants to take me in," he answered, "My dad gives them money whenever needed and if they help me, he'll stop helping them."

I could tell she felt sympathy for him by the way her eyes were glazing over. She let out a breath and then slowly stood up. She looked at Evan again then back at me before saying, "It would be nice for you to have someone with you here and I could possibly get him a job at the hospital."

She looked at Evan and continued, "If you aren't out by the time your baby comes...I better be able to get sleep or else you and I are going to have problems."

Evan smiled along with my mother. Even though I barely get to see her, it always amazed me how big her heart is. Then she looked around him and said, "Where are your clothes?"

"In the car," he answered, "Well some of them."

She nodded and looked at me, "Well, Chris get him settled in and I'll check with the hospital to see if there are any positions opened."

I nodded and she sat back down. Evan guided us out the door. He stopped me before we went down the stairs and said, "Why are you doing this?"

I looked at him and questioned it myself. He hurt someone that meant the world to me and betrayed his own friend under peer pressure. However, Evan never really meant to hurt anyone. Plus, Darrius doesn't run me and everything he has done I haven't agreed with. So, I just responded, "It's the right thing to do."

We begin our walk to the car when he stopped me again, "Thank you."

I just nodded and helped him get his things out the car. We had stopped by the school before we came back (he had propped the back door open) and I was planning on taking him to get the rest of his clothes tomorrow. I stopped taking things out and thought about something. Darrius comes over and if he sees Evan, he is gonna go 0 to 100.

I knew what had to be done and even though I didn't want to, I had to.

**

Darrius had a completely different reaction then my mom. The look of anger and betrayal was written across his face as he glared up at me from the couch wearing his usual in-home attire of blue basketball shorts, a shirt and black snapback cap.

"What the fuck did you say?" He yelled getting up from the couch. I was used to his anger so I didn't back down. I just rolled my eyes and answered, "Evan needs somewhere to stay and I offered."

"What?" I heard Marcus say from the other couch wearing a black beanie with a black fitted shirt and jeans. He looked hurt and confused. This is why I didn't want to tell them because I knew them too well. However, I never kept anything from them and I didn't want them to be shocked if they came over. Even though I knew Evan would be mad because I did make a promise, my loyalty still was with Darrius and Marcus. It's family over everything else.

However, it still didn't change the fact that Darrius was looking like he was about to kill me. He wiped his hand across his face angrily before settling on folding his arms.

"Like did you take what I said literally or something," he spat, "I mean I was just playing when I said you was trying to hop on his dick but now I don't know."

I quickly reacted, "Hell no! It ain't even like that. It's all about helping someone that has nowhere else to go."

"Okay well he could have asked Caleb!"

"He's too wrapped up in yo dumb ass to even notice what he has been going through."

He took deep breath and looked at Marcus, "Did you even think about how we would feel about this? The dude was an ass to Mark. We all agreed th- "

"No, you made the decision for us!" I interrupted him, "Yes what he did was fucked up and he could have gone about it a different way. How fuckin' ever, he didn't mean to hurt him. If you would just listen for onc- "

"I'm not listening to shit he has to say," he yelled, "He hurt the people that I love. That right there is enough for me to say fuck him and fuck you too!"

"STOP!" Marcus yelled and I didn't even know his voice could get that fucking loud. Darrius looked taken back too. He stood up shaking his head, turning to Darrius first, "I understand he hurt me D and I don't need you tellin' me 24/7. It only makes it hard to forget it."

Darrius's jaw clenched but he didn't say anything. Then he turned to me and said, "I'm glad you told us but why didn't he want to tell Caleb? That's his best friend not you."

"Marc- "

"No! I'm not done," he said looking between Darrius and I, "You guys have been through a lot together. So, no D it's not fuck Chris. You don't mean that."

Darrius looked at me and I knew he didn't mean it. He was just so passionate about the people he loved that when they get hurt by someone, he can't control his emotions. Marcus continued, "Chris...even though I do feel a certain type of way about it. I think it's great you took him in."

I didn't expect for him to say that and it only showed how big of a heart he had. I knew he still had feelings for Evan and I don't know if he was still talking to Corey but hopefully he would see how much Evan loves him too. He still had a small bruise on his face from the hitting and I really hope he left him alone.

Darrius was looking at his brother now and said, "You are a better person than I am Mark. I would have let him suffer."

Then he turned to me and said, "Even though I really fucking hate this and I still don't understand why he just doesn't tell Caleb, I'm glad you told us."

He let out one of his hands and I smacked it with mine. We both shared a smile before Marcus came in for a hug. I hugged him but then he whispered, "Tell him that I'm sorry about his grandmother."

I pulled back and nodded. Marcus was never a malicious person, it was impossible. So now that I had their blessing about this I knew I would have to ask Darrius something he probably wouldn't want to do. I nervously turned to him again and said, "Okay now that we got that settled, I have to ask you to do something for me."

He looked at me curiously with his eyebrows raised. I cleared my throat and asked, "You can't tell Caleb that Evan is living with me."

He shook his head in disbelief and said, "You want me to lie to my boyfriend?"

"Only about this D," I stated, "Evan doesn't want him to know."

"But you already know how Caleb is man. He even thinks I'm lying to him, he's already pacing up and down his room about to give me a lecture about trust and openness in a relationship."

Marcus let out a snicker and we both looked at him. Darrius asked, "What's so funny?"

Marcus smiled and said, "I could totally see him doing that. That's like his thing, isn't it?"

I couldn't hold in a chuckle as Darrius just glared at both of us before saying, "It's cute and that's how he gets his thoughts together."

"You are so fucking whipped man, "I joked just as Marcus laughed. Darrius rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Okay fine I'll keep Evan's stupid secret only for two weeks. Then he has to tell Caleb what's up."

I nodded in agreeance before Uncle Lawrence came through the door. I haven't really seen him because well Darrius has been over Caleb's house. He was wearing a clean navy-blue suit and anything goes well with a bald head like his. He looked at us curiously before greeting me, "Hey Chris. Haven't seen you around lately. You stayin' for dinner?"

"Uhm no, I gotta get home and do some house work," I told him and he nodded. He wasn't a man of many words I figured out but he was cool. He didn't mind if Darrius and Marcus had late company just as long as they were out by midnight. He also had apologized for what happened a few years when he brought an unexpected visitor to their home.

He was walking back to the kitchen when he stopped and turned, "Uhm Chris. Your mom isn't seeing anyone right?"

One of my eyebrows raised as Darrius chuckled. I shook my head to answer and Lawrence smiled before saying, "Okay well tell her I said hi and I'll be seeing her."

What did he mean by he'll see her? He better mean seeing her in the hospital when he is sick. Darrius touched my shoulder while he leaned over laughing. Then he said, "It looks like we are about to be cousins bruh."

I roughly shrugged him off as he continued to laugh. I made my way towards the door before I asked him, "Hey when is Caleb going to send out his invitations?" Darrius slowly stopped laughing and answered, "Tomorrow but it's only going to be about like 200."

I nodded already thinking about my outfit. It was probably going to be somewhere private and this will be the first one Darrius and I ever got to attend. His parties weren't as big as Michael's but they still had everyone talking. Plus, Harry was going to be there and I had to make sure I looked extra tasty for him. My phone vibrated and I didn't even open the text because it was my dad. I swear this man was relentless. Hopefully I could just dodge him for the full time that he is here. However, the universe always has a way of fucking my mood up.