I sat on Darrius's front steps with him as he silently cried and looked pissed all at the same time. I had gotten here before he could and when he made his way towards me, he told me, "I broke up with him."

Now, I knew this probably wasn't going to last long but I had to act on it before it does. I sat him down even though he really didn't want to talk about it, but I had to get to the bottom of it. He agreed but so far we had been sitting in silence for about 10 minutes as I just let him cry.

"Why did you break up with him?" I finally asked. He didn't even try to look at me as he answered, "I just got tired man. He wanted me to always be under him and it was getting to be too much. Then him getting upset that I want to hang out with you guys without him and what you said about him not trusting m- "

"Woooo wait wait," I interrupted seeing now what the issue may be about, "So what I said, made you want to break up with him?"

"Naw man!" he reassured, "You just pointed some things out that I didn't want to realize. I mean I love Caleb...I love him more than anything."

He paused as I saw heavy tears fall down his face before he recollected himself, "I just think we need a little break from each other."

I knew that he said it wasn't my words that made them break up, but they did feel like a light to a stick of dynamite. It must have been on his brain for a while if he decided this was a solution to the issues. However, I didn't think it was. Yes, they needed a break but not like this. I had to really get down to the bottom of what made Darrius make this decision, so I said, "Be straight with me D. Did you actually talk to Caleb about how you were feeling?"

"I tried to man," He stated, "Just after I said I wanted to take a break, he just started crying and asking me why. Then I just...I just thought it would be good not to make him feel bad about himself. So, I said I needed time to figure out if I wanted to continue the relationship. Then he got out of the car and I wanted to explain more but he wasn't having it."

I just processed what he was telling me but it came back to the same conclusion, he was being stupid. Him and Caleb are so smart, but they suck at communication. They can talk about the good things in their relationship but they do a terrible job at talking about the problems in it. Darrius was running from hurting him when he should have told him that he just wanted some time to himself. I shook my head and started to laugh, which Darrius really didn't appreciate.

"Well I'm glad you find my situation funny bruh," He aggressively stated as I stopped and said, "It's just funny how two people who are smart, just don't have a lot of common sense."

He turned his eyebrow up at me and said, "I'm not following."

I took in a deep breath before saying, "You could have just told him to give you space instead of breaking up with him."

"But he gets upset when I tell him the issue is him," Darrius states and I begin to think that I had never seen him worry about people's feelings like this. Was he going soft? I let out another laugh as he bit his lip, angrily staring me down. Then I finally spoke, "Dude Caleb ain't weak. Spoiled maybe but not weak. He can take it if you told him that."

"I don't like to see him upset."

"You the problem then," I expressed and he looked shocked before I continued, "Stop making him think everything is okay. He knows that you aren't trying to hurt him. But this did because you thought it was the only way for you not to make him feel like he is the issue."

He stopped glaring at me and went into deep thought. Then he spoke, "He gave me another chance when I messed up. I thought that if I just gave into everything he wanted that he would see I was serious about us. Then all that time we spent together, I grew to love him even more but I also missed just having fun with you guys. Especially you."

I raised an eyebrow before he continued, "All that shit was going on with you and Harry. Then your dad coming into town. You were right, I didn't even call to check in on how you was doing. I'm really sorry."

He was apologizing but it didn't make me feel good. He was still upset and the only way that he would get over this is when he gets back with Caleb. This time, they are staying together because I know there is no one that will put up with them. They balance each other out. I started thinking about how Darrius looked at him and I knew if I said something it would make him want to go get his boyfriend back now.

"I love the way you look at Caleb," I expressed as he stared at me, "I've never seen you look at someone like that. And I love Caleb. He is exactly the person I think you deserve. I don't want to see you two split...even if it means seeing me less."

He slightly smiled before putting his arm around me to say, "I promise that I will stop being a sucky ass friend. However, I just need some time to think."

I nodded because I couldn't force him to go and get back with Caleb. My friend still needed me too, so I decided to just drop it for now. I touched him on his leg and told him, "Let's go in and get something to eat."

"Nigga stay hungry," He said as we got up, "Thought Harry was keeping you fed?"

"He was but we were asleep," I answered opening the door only to crash into Marcus. I swear even at night he was a sight for sore eyes. His curly hair was all over his head but his white long sleeve was coming off his shoulder. He was in his blue checkered boxers holding open the door for us as we slid through.

"I was expecting Caleb to be with D but not you," He smiled closing the door, "So what's going on?"

"Nothing! Can't I just be here to hang out with you guys?"

He folded his arms and accusingly tilted his head before saying, "Not when D planned on getting some today and you planned on controlling yourself."

I turned to Darrius who was biting his lip nervously and I knew he had told Marcus about my plans. All he did was shrug and smile as Marcus laughed, "So again what happened?"

"Ask your brother? He the one that ruined my date but with good reason."

Darrius had already buried his head into a pillow and groaned so loud it had Marcus looking at him as if he was a mad man.

"He doesn't want to talk about it, so let's change the subject," I told him and he nodded. Then an evil smirk spread across his face when he asked, "So, how did the non-sex thing go?"

I took in the largest breath through my teeth and let it out because that is what best described today. Marcus let out a laugh along with me as I went on, "Well, we almost said fuck it but then they came in."

We sat down on the floor with Marcus leaning on his arm and his shoulder completely showing. That's where I saw a small purplish mark. It was obvious what it was but I wasn't about to yell it out with Darrius laying there. So I asked, "Hey Mark...help me get some food from the kitchen."

He looked at me weirdly before I darted my eyes towards the mark. He looked and his hazel eyes shot opened when he answered, "Yeah, I'll help you."

He rushed to get up and ran towards the kitchen with me behind him. We laughed silently as he pulled up his shirt.

"Shhh! His big-headed ass may hear you," He whispered.

"I'm sorry," I smiled, "Just that I see we weren't the only ones trying to get some."

He smirked hitting me playfully before I asked, "So who you trying to do the nasty with? I know it ain't Corey because I'll beat his ass...again along with yours."

He laughed and shook his head, "Oh hell no! However, it is someone that you know. Maybe even have class with."

I shot him a comical glare, "Please don't tell me it's- "

I stopped as he bit his lip and nodded. I pushed him out of shock because I never would have thought they would. I mean they had a moment at a party one time, but I thought it was because his boyfriend was being an ass.

"You fucked Johnny," I whispered surprised.

"Well no, " He answered fumbling with his hands, "We just fooled around. You know like kissing and giving each other head."

"You givin' brain now," I shouted and he punched me in my arm. He looked over my shoulder to see if Darrius had heard us. I rubbed my aching shoulder, wondering how he got so strong.

"How did this happen?"

"Well," he begin shyly, "He came over, trying to tell me that he wanted to have sex with Evan. Basically trying to get my permission. Honestly, I thought you and Evan had something though but we will get into that later. So, of course we got to talking about it and him not wanting to hurt me. At first I was really ready to fight him."

"And you trying to throw hands," I said clutching my chest and shaking my head, "Who are you right now?"

He softly hit me as he continued, "Anyway, then somehow we got on the topic of him thinking I'm innocent and every time someone's say that, it makes me want to prove them wrong. So...you know...I gave him that look and then I kissed him."

I just stood there with my mouth wide open. My innocent Marcus was out here being naughty without Darrius's and I's knowledge. I couldn't believe even if he was saying it with his own mouth. He still looked so angelic and fragile, but he had a little something inside of him. Then it had me thinking about the situation with Corey and how he said he would never have sex with him. I blinked before leaning against the counter and asked, "But why did Corey say y'all never had sex?"

He shivered a little hearing the other man's name but he answered, "I never had sex with him but we did other things. Like the things I did with Johnny. It just didn't feel right."

I could tell where his mind was drifting to and what he wanted to say. Corey wasn't Evan. I understood without him even saying a word because that's how I was feeling about Harry. After today and the previous ones before, I couldn't see myself having sex with someone else either. However, Harry wasn't my first but Evan's was Marcus's. Even though I didn't want to rain down on his thoughts, I knew that I had to stress to him how today was a sign of something.

"Hey Mark," I said gaining his attention, "I think you should, spread yourself out a little bit. You know, be with someone other than Evan."

He let out a laugh before saying, "I don't think that's me. I think you and Darrius have knocked down plenty of people for me yourselves."

"What you trying to say?" I asked jokingly.

"I'm saying you guys have gotten so much ass, that it's only right that y'all have relationships. I'm surprised y'all having caught anything."

"Safe sex is the greatest sex," I stated making him laugh louder as Darrius came into the kitchen to say, "I feel like y'all talking about me and I don't appreciate it."

We laughed at him as he smiled. He was walking through us to get to the fridge when Marcus asked, "So are you going to talk about what's going on between you and Caleb?"

He had taken a bottled water out and took a sip from it before answering, "Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because he broke up with him," I injected. Marcus looked at Darrius shocked as his brother sucked his teeth at me.

"You are supposed to let me tell him!"

"You were taking too long," I teased him. He rolled his eyes as Marcus spoke, "But you promised Aunt Ruby you wouldn't- "

"Can we not talk about Aunt Ruby please," Darrius yelled slamming the fridge door and walking out of the kitchen. It was always a sore topic to bring her up and for the longest time we had to tip-toe around it. Even when she was still here, we made sure not to talk about it. However, that still didn't give him the right to be an ass. So, I moved Marcus to the side and walked into the living room. I tapped Darrius on his shoulder, making him turn towards me when I expressed, "Darrius, all he was doing was just trying to state what you said to her. "

"And I said, I don't want to talk about it!" he yelled again and groaned, "Like God damn! It's like between y'all and Caleb I can't even have one day without hearing about her."

"We barely bring her up because we know you will get like this!"

"Like I'm irritated? Because yes, I do get irritated! Especially when people think they know what's best for me to do to handle it."

I was confused now because I didn't say anything about what is best for him to do. I was going to respond when I felt my phone vibrate. I took it out as Darrius plopped down on the couch again. It was from Harry and the message was telling me why Darrius actually broke up with Caleb. He didn't break up with Caleb because they were spending too much time together. It was over something Darrius wasn't ready for and what he hadn't done since Aunt Ruby passed. However, it was time.

"Hey D," I said sitting down next to him, "We hadn't gone for a ride in while man. You know, just driving around like we use to."

He cracked a small smile and nodded, "Yeah, I missed those rides. We talked about a lot."

"You want to go on one now? I mean you need to clear your head and I need to tell you about what happened today."

He thought for a second and shrugged before telling Marcus that we were going to be out for a while. As we walked out the door, I prayed that he wouldn't hate me for what I was about to do.

**

"Why the fuck are we here?" He asked through clenched teeth as we parked outside the graveyard, "You said you wanted to just drive around, now why the fuck are we here?"

I turned off the car and turned towards my pissed off best friend. Even though he hated me right now, this had to happen. He had waited too long and he needed to do this.

"Caleb told Harry why you broke up with him and what you said to him," I confessed to him, "How could you possibly get mad at someone for taking you to come see Aunt Ruby's grave...where you haven't been not even once since she died."

He was silent but his vein was popping fiercely in his neck. That was fine because mine was too. I was upset reading that message but I had to put myself in his shoes. This was one person he loved more than his own life and she was taken away. That's how I felt about my grandmother but I visit her. Darrius is different though. He is passionate about the people he cares for, but he never has been through this type of loss before. It's hard for him to even express the slightest of emotion especially sadness. So, all I could do was ask him, "Why?"

He didn't answer because he had gotten out of the car, slamming the door in his exit. I followed getting out with him. He was not running away from this. I walked towards him, walking around the front of my car. He stopped to say, "Chris I'm not doing this with you today."

"Yes, the fuck you are! How could you break up with him because of that! All he was doing- "

"All he was fucking doing, was not listening to a damn word I said," he shouted, " I told him I didn't want to go, he kept bringing it up!"

"Because he cares D," I shouted, "He knows you well enough to know that it's eating you up!"

"It's not! Shit! Just fucking shut up man!"

"No! Give me one good reason why you won't do this?"

"Because I'm not fucking ready to," He said leaning against my car before to look at the cemetery, "It only makes it more real man."

He wasn't crying but his face was slumped so low that I thought he was about to. I walked closer to him, leaning along with him. Then he spoke, "I got so mad at him because he would ask me all the time why I wouldn't go. I couldn't even tell him I wasn't ready because I knew it would start an argument. So, I just tried to you know, distract him. I guess that's why I hung out with him more than I hung out with you guys too."

I turned my nose up at him when I asked, "so you were trying to avoid us?"

"Not avoid. Just buy time I guess."

He paused for a split second and continued, "It's easy to distract Caleb because...well you know."

I let a small smile slip knowing exactly what he meant but I didn't interrupt, "But with you guys, I couldn't hide it for very long and y'all would have torn into my ass if you found out it took this long for me to go visit her."

"I guess Caleb did it for us right?"

"Yeah and he was right but I just don't like talking about it. "

"That doesn't mean break up with him."

"I was frustrated and said the first thing that popped into my head," he huffed, "That's why I was telling him to stop so I can talk to him. He just didn't want to listen."

"Of course he didn't, he was hurt D, " I yelled, "It should have never popped into your head."

"Hey! You should hear some of the stuff he be saying sometimes but I do get your point though. You think I should go back over there?"

He turned to me and was met with a raised eyebrow as I said, "Yes but right now we not going over there. We going to see Aunt Ruby. Together."

He groaned dramatically, sliding off my car. I picked him up and basically carried him towards the entrance of the gate. It was almost dark but I wasn't in a hurry as we made our way through. I could already feel him shaking and he almost made a run for it until I caught him.

After his failed attempts to escape, there it was. Written across the tomb was, " To a loving sister, aunt, and friend. Ruby Rose Mitchell."

"That doesn't even come near to what describe her," Darrius stated, physically shaking to even move closer to it. I found myself shaking too. I had visited before but it was different coming with Darrius. His chest was heaving up and down to the point he had bent over trying to catch whatever breath he was trying to take.

He dropped down, squatting. He had his hands balled together, putting them against his forehead as he breathed in and out. He couldn't hide his tears and he was still shaking. I hated seeing my friend like this but he needed this. I didn't know but I needed it too. My tears fell as Darrius finally broke, falling to his knees. He was near her tomb with his forehead now up against it as he cried.

We didn't say a word. We just let our tears be our voices. I rubbed his back as he released all of the emotions he had been feeling for the past few months. I didn't even care how cold it had become as I kneeled next to him. She was a big part of my life too and losing her was like losing my grandmother all over again. However, I couldn't think about myself in this situation. Darrius needed me and I was so stuck on my negative life that I wasn't paying attention. Even though Caleb was here, I knew I could understand better.

I was here now though and I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Caleb was still here and I'm for sure that they will get back together.

Right now, I wanted to be selfish.

This was our moment because we were feeling the same sorrow and pain for a person who meant so much to us. Letting go together felt more right than anything else.

After a few more moments of crying, we stood up. Darrius wiped his face as he touched the tombstone. With just nods and a small gentle hit to the tombstone, he said, "You were much more to me than an aunt. You were my mother and I know you must hate me for not coming to see you, but I can't stand the thought of not having you here."

I wiped my tears as he finished, "I miss you so much and I don't think I'll ever stop."

After that, he begins to walk away. I followed behind him because I knew he would need the peace. I knew today wouldn't be the last that he would cry like this, but it is the first of many more visits. Getting into the car, it felt calmer than before. Then Darrius hit me softly on the shoulder and said, "C is going to be real jealous that I did this with you and not him."

I laughed, "He will probably get it. Just in case, don't tell him until after y'all have make-up sex."

He laughed along as I started the car. I missed these times because it just felt like every time we saw each other we were always arguing or keeping something from each other. Right now, we were those boys just driving, talking, and laughing. The same boys that got through a lot of tough times together and no matter who enter our lives, we were always going to be them boys.