MATILDA! CHAPTER EIGHT:
GUNS IN 5 STAR HOTELS
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"That bread had mold on it three days ago." Pope said as JJ made a sandwich on moldy bread that had been on the counter.

"I'll just pull off the bad parts. Plus, mold is good for you. It's just a natural organism."

"That's gross" Liz commented "and very incorrect"

"JJ!"

"Yup, yup, yup! Hot damn! Let's do it. Mmm..." JJ took a bite of his sandwich before gagging. Liz smirked.

"Told you" she said. John B took a map out of the package, with an X on it

"Holy shit."

"Oh. X marks the spot."

"Longitude, latitude."

"Wait, there's somethin' else in there." John B pulled out a tape recorder

"What's that?" JJ asked

"It's a tape recorder, dumbass." Kie said

"Dear Bird" their fathers voice spoke on the tape

"Who's Bird?"

"That's what our dad called us"

"I hate to say, "I told you so," but I told you so. And you l doubted your old man. I suspect at this moment, you're filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight, but don't kill yourself just yet, kid. I didn't expect to find the Merchant either.
You were probably right to call me out. Wasn't exactly Father of the Decade. What can I say? I could smell the barn. And hopefully, we're listenin' to this in our brand new sugar-shack down in Costa Rica, livin' off passive investments and pulling on permits. If not, and you find this for less than optimal reasons, well, that's what the map is for.
There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If somethin' happens to me, finish what I started. Go for the gold, kid. I love you, even if I didn't always act like it. I'll see you on the other side."

John B got up and grabbed the door frame, starting to slowly shake, Liz sighed. "Holy shit, he did it! Big John-- He found the Merchant" JJ got excited

"Can you— can you please?" Kie said beofre going over to John B and Liz looked up at JJ

"How much was it again?" JJ aksed as they sat down on the dock

"Four hundred mil."

"All right, let's talk the split. Now, before we say 'evenly' may I remind you that I am the only one that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us. Protection? Not cheap, okay?"

"You haven't trained."

"You've done zero training." Liz added

"YouTube, bro! That's at least a five percent bump right there."

"You haven't—"

"Any objections? Didn't think so."

"Yeah."

"I don't hear any, so."

"What are you gonna do with your 80 mil, Pope?" John B asked

"Pay for college in advance. And also, textbooks. Those are expensive."

"What about you, Kie?"

"Yeah, what does a socialist do when she's rich?" Pope asked

"Even more rich" Liz stated

"Just wanna make a double album. About OBX, the Pogues. You know, the way Catch a Fire is about Kingston. Record it at Marley Studio, Peter Tosh producing."

"Peter Tosh is dead"

"Peter Tosh is dead. I know."

"Spirit of Peter Tosh will never die." Liz smiled

"What would you do Buffy?" Kie asked

"Open up a surf shop, Teach people how to surf." she said, looking down at the ukulele

"I know what I'll do. I'm gonna get a big ass house on Figure Eight and go full Kook."

"You're gonna go full Kook?"

"Yup. Gonna get a marble statue of myself, and then I'm gonna get a koi pond. Put a bunch of those fish" JJ said

"I'm never visiting." Liz replied

"What are you gonna do, JB?"

"To going full Kook." He said

"To going full Kook!"

the pogues were out on their boat, enjoying the day. Liz was next to JJ as his arm was just behind her. Liz watched the water and saw a familiar boat in the distance— Toppers boat, and Sarah was with him too. Liz shifted in her place leaning more onto JJ.

"You guys see that? That's the Malibu 24-MXZ, the world's finest wakesetter. Number one in luxury, quality, and performance. 200K, easy." JJ said

"We picked the wrong parents."

"I hate to break it to you guys, but that's Topper and Sarah." Liz told them. Sarah lifted her glasses giving them a look

"You don't have to act like you don't see us, bitch."

"All right, keep a look out. We're behind enemy lines." JJ grabbed the gun as they pulled up in front of the hotel JJ worked at

"Yo, come on, man. Just put it back." John B said

"What?"

"JJ."

"You can never be too careful."

"Hey, I predict that bringing a weapon
to a four-star hotel will likely cause more problems than they solve." Pope said leaning on JJs window

"Thank you, Pope." John B said

"I swear to God, I'm gonna throw that thing in the ocean, JJ. Put it back." John B grabbed the gun from JJ

"There you go."

"You can't grab a gun like that. Can't forget my badge. Professional busboy."

"So, where are we going now?"

"We're getting on the internet because only rich people have electricity right now. This way!" JJ lead the way through the kitchen of the hotel

"Andrew! All right? What's up, bro?" He waved to a guy near the front

"Mama L, good to see you!" He tried to take good off of a women's cart

"Hey, no! JJ!" She scolded

"Mm-hm. See, they got the backup generators going? Kooks don't miss a beat." They got to a room computers in it

"Sweet Lord, the internet! I've missed you." Pope sat down

"Let me get in there. Gotta check out my Insta models."

"We don't have time." Liz said, shaking her head

"Go. Nah."

"Hey. Hey! Hey! I got the map!"

"Coordinates, please?"

"34° 57' 30" north. 75° 55' 42" west." John B read

"Boom, continental shelf right there."

"Well, if it's off the deep end, it's not gonna be much of a treasure hunt, is it?"

"Come on, baby. Come on"

"Shit, it's on the high side. It's only 900 feet"

"That's not too deep."

"Is that doable or something?"

"Yeah, totally doable."

"Will we be taking your personal submarine?" Pope asked

"How do you know this, Mr. Dive Master?" Liz said

"The salvage yard. They got a drone that can drop 1,000. It has a 360 camera It's for, like, deep and everything. dives and stuff. It's exactly what we need."

"Can your dad get his grimy little hands on that?" John B asked

"Well, my dad's grimy little hands got his ass fired. I guess the salvage captain frowns on showing up shitfaced, turns out. But the drone's there. It's in the impound yard out back."

"How much did you say was on the Royal Merchant again?"

"400 million."

"400 mil."

"400 million dollars?"

"Yep."

"No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. No!" Pope tried to block the door

"Pope! Move" Kie pushed his arms

"Guys, that's too"

"Come on."

"Can't we do anything legal for money?"

"You know the answer to that Pope"