Lisa shifted uncomfortably in her dressing room seat as she tried to adjust her top. Blackpink were backstage getting ready for the Melon Music Awards, one of the biggest kpop end-of-year award shows, and here Lisa was in the most uncomfortable diamond fringed top and a swollen ankle.
The ankle had caused her trouble for a couple of weeks now, and it had been healing but her recent dance practices had put a lot of strain on it again. She was determined to be able to perform tonight though and so had asked the doctor to inject a pain killer. It still hurt a little when she applied enough pressure but she was sure she could last through the evening without anyone noticing - she was a master of pretending everything looked fine after all, and tonight she was in sage mode, ensuring her ankle, her top and her ex-boyfriend all remained hidden from public scrutiny.
She had her ankle elevated on a chair beside her as she got her make-up and hair fixed.
Rosé was to her right and Jennie and Jisoo were seated to her left.
"You okay, Lisa? You look nervous."
She glanced over at Rosé and nodded her head minutely. "I'm okay, you know how I get before we go on stage..."
No matter how many times they had performed, Lisa still got nervous and at a big award show like this, she was feeling the anxiety tenfold.
"You always do great, you have nothing to worry about."
"Thanks, Chaeng."
"Just don't let you-know-who throw you off guard," Rosé leaned into her ear to whisper. She followed up her advice with a knowing look. Despite being broken up now, Rosé was still worried that Lisa and Jungkook would give themselves away somehow tonight by staring at each yearningly or doing something equally stupid that could compromise all the work they had put in so far to keep their private lives private. As promised, they had both not spoken to each other, not even a text message, in weeks, and it had been months since they had last seen each face-to-face, the last time being when they had called it quits in Jungkook's car.
It was admittedly going to be difficult to remain so impassive when faced with him directly in front of her, and practically within touching distance, but she knew she had to keep her resolve strong. She just hoped he could do it too.
When they had finished getting ready, they went out to the artist seating area, surrounded by crowds of screaming, excited fans. Lisa led her members to their seats. Her first challenge of the evening presented itself when she saw Jungkook seated next to Namjoon and the rest of his group directly in front of where she was walking to.
As she was walking, she couldn't help but to sneak a quick peek at Jungkook. He was looking ahead of her at the big screens at the front of the arena, but he felt her gaze on him almost instantly. His face turned towards her and the world suddenly felt suspended in a frozen moment, where everything around them muted to silence and vague lights. In that one second, all she could see was him, a face that she was so familiar with and yet it felt like a stranger was staring back at her. She broke off the contact first, the world resuming its normal pace. She bowed politely to the other members, spying Namjoon's warm smile but the rest of her greeting was a quick blur that ended when she sat down beside BTOB and draped a blanket over her lap for modestly.

-&-

Jungkook couldn't help himself. He hadn't seen her for months and she looked more stunning than he could remember. Her hair hung in loose waves down her back with her trademark bangs framing her petite face. She had on an alluring red lipstick that complimented her features so well. Her outfit was something only she could have pulled off and her knee-high boots almost had him drooling at her feet. He shifted in his seat to try to inconspicuously get a better look at her from this angle. She turned to talk to Jennie and her profile was perfectly angled for him to get a proper glance.
However, the screaming fans behind him reminded him that he was in a public space with a lot of cameras turned on him. He cleared his throat and tried to pay attention to what was going on on the stage. He could barely keep his concentration though.
Another award was announced and Jungkook followed everyone to stand up and clap. He turned towards the winning group to try to look as if he was congratulating them sincerely, even though he hadn't even been paying enough attention to realise what the award was. It was then that he noticed that another idol was staring at Lisa. His body was turned at a different angle to everyone else even as he continued to clap and, although his face was downcast, his eyes were trained on Lisa. Jungkook recognised him as iKon's leader - B.I, or Kim Hanbin. IKon and Blackpink were part of the same company so they were probably friends, but Jungkook felt a sharp emotion twisting his gut. He continued clapping but couldn't help and stare back at Hanbin, trying to calculate the other idol's line of sight - maybe Jungkook was just imagining things and Hanbin had been staring at something else. As everyone sat back down again, Jungkook stayed stood up a little longer, letting his gaze sweep by the rest of the seating area, trying to gauge if anything else could have caught the iKon leader's attention.
It wasn't until later in the show that Jungkook was fully convinced that Hanbin had been stealing glances at Lisa all night long. He couldn't really blame the other guy to be fair - she looked radiant tonight.
When him and his members shifted along the bench to make room for more artists to sit beside them, he found himself at an even better viewing angle to see Lisa' beautiful side-profile. He felt himself relax more and smiling at his hyungs and at the show, knowing that Lisa was within his direct line-of-sight. He was noticing that she was good at keeping her face stoic; it barely betrayed anything when she didn't want it to. Luckily, he knew her face well and could see she was holding her discomfort back. It must have been the seat or maybe her outfit that was causing her unease. He couldn't tell, but he wished he could have asked her and comforted her. He kept staring at her unintentionally, but his gaze was immediately magnetised to her. At one point, he thought he caught her staring at him in return, but she had turned back to take a cursory glance at the audience and all the Blinks in the crowd, shouting her name.
He would admit with gritted teeth and fisted hands that she was very good at keeping this 'no talking' deal up - almost too good. He felt like he was the only one suffering in their arrangement, having to go without any contact from her, with just their old photos to give him some comfort in his loneliest moments. However, when BTS won a big award, she turned to him and gave him a small smile and a bow, and for the second time that night, when they made direct eye contact, he felt his insides warming up and he was reassured. In their shared gaze, he could feel everything she wanted to say, everything she was suffering with too, and he hoped he also conveyed the same message to her. Unfortunately, the spell broke too soon, and he was back to feeling emptiness when he inevitably had to turn away from her. He could still feel her stare on his back, but he resolutely turned to walk away with his hyungs to the stage to give their acceptance award.
On the way back to their seats, Namjoon nudged him discretely and whispered in his ear, "Everything okay, Jungkook?"
Jungkook admired their compassionate leader and never wanted to keep things from him. "As well as could be."
"Just stay cool, okay? And stop acting so suspicious."
He had turned away to discuss something with J-Hope on the other side of him before Jungkook could ask him what he meant. Had Namjoon noticed Hanbin staring at Lisa too?

-&-

After the show, all the idols flocked backstage, which was how it always was after these ceremonies. BTS's performances were the talk of the night and they had just come from the stage after closing the show.
Jungkook was catching his breath when his 97 liner friends showed up to shower him with congratulations and praises.
"Yo! Jungkook!" Bambam greeted, throwing an arm around his shoulder, uncaring that Jungkook was still sweaty and worn out. "That was an amazing show!"
"Thanks, Bam. Hey guys!"
He greeted Mingyu and Jaehyun too, giving them each a casual one-armed hug.
"How you been, buddy?" Mingyu asked, suddenly squeezing Jungkook's arm muscles. "Whoa, have you been working out?"
Jungkook mockingly flexed his biceps. "Just a bit here and there."
Bambam nodded sagely. "Must be the boxing, huh?"
At the mention of boxing, Jungkook was instantly transported to his first unofficial date with Lisa, when she gave a one-to-one boxing lesson to him when he was feeling down.
Bambam noticed his sullen mood and quieted. He knew about him and Lisa breaking up but it had taken a little bit of persuasion on both Jungkook and Lisa's sides to make him understand the reason. Nevertheless, knowing the break up wouldn't be permanent, Bambam vowed that he would still take it upon himself to throw the two together whenever he saw the opportunity.
"We should go out for dinner sometime and catch up. Invite the other 97 liners," Jungkook suggested, changing the topic and shutting the lid on that can of worms.
The replies were enthusiastic and got Jaehyun talking about the last time they hung out and four out of six of them had gotten food poisoning. The others recalled the night with more anecdotes, but their voices started to fade out to background noise when Jungkook spotted a familiar figure only a few meters away.
Lisa's back was to him, but he desperately wanted to go over and talk to her. He was wracking his brain for a valid excuse, until he spotted just who she was with.
Next to her was Jennie but with the two girls was iKon's rappers, Bobby and Hanbin. He heard Lisa's infectious laugh and could make out small snippets of their conversation - the girls were congratulating the boys for their win of Song of the Year and Hanbin's achievement of Best Songwriter. He watched as Lisa affectionately slapped Hanbin's arm and tell him that she knew they could do it. The gesture, although showing how close the two were, was inconsequential to Jungkook as he knew Lisa befriended people so quickly.
What did worry Jungkook though was how Hanbin could barely take his eyes off Lisa... again. Jungkook had suffered the whole night watching another guy swooning over his girlfriend (and yes, he still claimed Lisa as his).
Hanbin stared almost affectionately at Lisa as she told the group one of her stories, her face lighting up animatedly. She was always so expressive when she told her anecdotes. Jungkook loved this about her and it would always keep him enraptured. It seemed he wasn't the only one.
"Kook? Helloo?"
Jungkook snapped back to reality, realising that Bambam, Mingyu and Jaehyun were all staring at him expectantly.
"Sorry, what did you say?" he asked dazedly.
"Are you going to go to the after party tonight?"
It still took a while for the question to sink in and register. The after-party had been a tradition for years at these end-of-year award shows. It was organised by idols and for idols so no management could get in the way either.
"Yeah, we're all going," he said, referring to his members.
"Nice! We'll see you there, man! Don't be late or you know the penalty!"