||QUEEN OF KARTS||

|CAMI

I was racing in the blue kart, trying to beat my bladder. Those last 2 lemonades were a mistake. "3 minutes and 21 seconds. That's a new track record folks!" the announcer announced making me beam.

"That was awesome," Jack praised.

"That was amazing," Milton added. I took off my helmet, revealing my face.

"That was Cami?" Rudy asked as I got out of the go kart.

"Cami, you can really drive," Jack nodded. "Were you trying to break the course record?"

"Nope. I was trying to beat my bladder. I had too much to drink," I corrected before hopping over the fence and jogging to the bathroom. I'd sprint, but I was afraid I'd pee myself.

•••

"Like my shirt?" Milton asked me as we sat in Falafel Phil's together for lunch. "I got it from Carol Miller for my birthday." Milton did the wink and tongue click Jack normally does making me give him an unimpressed look. "Ya know, a girl doesn't give a boy a turtleneck unless she's trying to say something." He repeated his wink and tongue click.

"She thinks your neck looks ugly," I automatically replied, mocking his wink and tongue click.

"Hey! Did you guys see what's in Phil's window?" Jack asked, sliding into the seat next to me.

"Uh yeah. Those cockroaches trying to escape Phil's by using their little legs as shovels?" I asked.

"No," Jack dragged out. "This flyer."

"Oh the Junior National 500 Go Kart Race is being held here at the Seaford Race Track," Milton handed me the flyer.

"Cami, you gotta do this," Jack encouraged.

"Do you guys have any idea how expensive this could be? The go kart, the pit crew, and not the one you guys use for your deodorant, and highlights for my hair," I listed. "I wanna win looking good. You can't stop me."

"Guys, all we need is a sponsor," Jack pointed out.

"That's not gonna be a problem. Oh let's just wait for some crazy man with a lot of money to come rollin' in here," Milton sarcastically agreed. Bobby rolled in on his throne, making me raise my eyebrows.

"I'll have a number 7 platter. Oh and can you make change for this giant sapphire?" Bobby asked, holding the big rock. "Oh you know what? Just keep it. Oh good! Milton! You finally covered up that ugly turkey neck of yours."

"I told you," I cockily shrugged.

"Bobby," Milton ignored me. "How would you like to sponsor a go kart team?"

"Absolutely not!" Bobby answered cheerfully.

"Your face can be on the kart," I tried.

"I'm in!" Bobby agreed. "Daddy loves his face." Me and Jack smirked and fist bumped. Bobby's face is Bobby's weakness.

•••

"Hey Cami, check it out. When you sign up for the big race tomorrow you get one of these cool pens," Jack told me, showing me this weird, fancy pen. "It's a vroom vroom pen."

"I don't care about that dumb pen. What I care about you supporting me throughout the race. It really proves how much I mean to you and- you just want me to stop talking so you can play with that pen, don't you?" I asked knowingly.

"So badly," Jack agreed, playing with his pen again.

"I love how you're all mushy when we're alone, but when we're out in public you aren't soft at all," I scoffed playfully.

"Hi. I'm Luke Monico. Sheriff of the racing association. Looking to sign up for a race, son?" Luke asked.

"Actually, I'll be racing. Hence the highlights," I gestured to my hair.

"You can't race in this division. You're a girl. Tell her dad," some kid told me.

"Tad's right, you're a girl," Luke agreed making me raise my eyebrows.

"Which means you'll have to race in the girls' division, hon," the kid, I'm assuming is Tad, said.

"But my time is better than almost every boy in the boys' division, hon," I mocked.

"You could put on one of those cute little outfits and wave the checkered flag when I win," Tad offered.

"You'd look really good in- but that's not the point," Jack cut himself off.

"I don't know how you'd be able to win if you're not qualified for the girls or boys' division," I shrugged innocently.

"Why wouldn't I? I'm a-"

"-dumbass. Unless that's a division, I don't think you qualify, hon," I cut Tad off before punching the table in half. "Bye," I innocently waved, walking away with Jack.

•••

I was racing, with my nickname, Cam, which is gender neutral, coming in second place to Tad. Stupid Tad. Stupid Monico sexist family. I walked up to Jack, who I watched completely fail and crash the whole course around. "Oh hey, buddy. That was some nice driving," Jack complimented. I decided to confuse him and hug him because that's what girlfriends do. "Uh. You must be European."

"Or your girlfriend," I shrugged nonchalantly, lifting the mask to reveal my face.

"Cami! Hey!" Jack hugged me again, but this time spun me around too.

"I didn't know Jack was European," I heard Bobby say.

•••

"I'm only posing as a boy in the Junior National 500 to make a point. Just cause I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't do certain things because boys like it," I sighed as me, Jack, Bobby, and Milton sat at a table in Falafel Phil's.

"Guys, Cami's right. People should judge you based on ability not whether you're a boy or a girl. Which is why I'm trying out for one of those Girly Curly Shampoo commercials," Jack decided.

"No you're not," I denied.

"No I'm not," Jack agreed.

"Cami has no chance in that crummy rental kart," Milton pointed out. Bobby had a look of realization before getting up and standing in front of me.

"Cami, would you do me the great favor of racing my face?" Bobby asked, taking my hand.

"I would be honored," I accepted, standing up.

"Alright, guys. If we're gonna pull this off, Cami, you're gonna have to act like a dude," Jack told me.

"Jack, trust me, I got this," I assured.

"Team Wasabi?" Jack put his hand in the middle, our hands piling on top.

"Team Wasabi!" we broke apart.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so excited to race in the-" I started squealing. "I mean, it's like whatever." I grabbed my helmet swiftly, walking out of Falafel Phil's.

•••

"As your official pit crew, Bobby and I are gonna make your kart the best it can be," Milton promised. We were getting ready for the Junior National 500 race, so Milton and Bobby, mainly Milton, were giving the kart a last minute checkup. "Come on, Bobby. Let's rotate the tires."

"The key to a good crew is working together. Now, Milton and I, we are a well oiled machine," Bobby explained as he put on his gloves and glasses.

"Done," Milton announced.

"Nice teamwork," Bobby gave Milton a high five.

"So, your team Wasabi's new driver, Cam, huh?" Tad asked as he walked up to me.

"Yeah. He sure is," Jack confirmed, taking a step between me and Tad. "He's my boy. Cam. My man. He's a guy."

"Well, at least this time you got a dude. Before you they had some Latina chick. What was she gonna do? Ask for directions?" Tad laughed.

"Oh that's it!" I yelled, trying to launch myself at Tad, but, of course, Jack pushed me back and closed my mask.

"Uh I'll tell you something about that Latina chick. She was pretty, smart, and knew how to keep her cool," Jack listed, exaggerating the last item on the list. I sighed and stopped struggling against Jack's push.

"Whatever. I'm gonna win this thing. Come on, guys," Tad ordered, leaving me angry with my pit crew and boyfriend.

"Cami, you gotta relax. You can't let jerks like that get to ya," Jack told me.

"He didn't. I just can't wait to get out there and take his ugly ass out of his ugly ass go kart!" I yelled as Bobby drilled the wheel rotator. "Then I'm gonna use his ugly ass head to sweep my skid marks off the track until he begs and cries for fucking mercy!" Thanks to Bobby, they only heard 'then I'm gonna' and 'until he'. "Now, I'm gonna win this race."

•••

I started my engine confidently, feeling someone's stare on me. I looked to my right to see Tad glaring at me. He did a little finger wave which I returned before flipping him off. The alarm blared, allowing me to put pressure on the gas and drive. As I was driving, Milton's voice interrupted my focus. "Cami-Cam, you're comin' in hot for a turn and burn. Don't clutch much, watch the throttle and the baby needs a bottle. You gotta slow down to hoe down," Milton told me.

"Ya know the phrase 'slow down' works well, too," I responded, trying to put a little pressure on the brake, but it wasn't working. 

"Cami, you're going way too fast," I heard Jack say. They must've switched. 

"Uh little set back. The brake isn't working," I spoke shakily.

"No, she's not gonna bounce off the wall," Jack assured as I bounced off the wall.

"I just bounced off the wall!" I exclaimed. "Why aren't the brakes working?" As I rolled into my pit crew area, Jack and Milton had to mandatorily stop the kart.

"Uh no. You're brake line must be damaged," Jack assumed.

"Oh it's more than that, the brakes are destroyed," Milton said.

"Oh- is that bad?" Bobby asked.

"It means the race is over," Milton answered.

"Oh! Did we win?" Bobby asked excitedly.

"No! Cami can't finish the race," Jack clarified.

"You're not gonna want to hear this," Bobby warned before activating the tire rotator, cursing away.

•••

"Cami, you have no brakes, you can't race," Milton told me after I insisted to keep going.

"I have to beat Tad. If I don't how else will I wipe that smug smirk off that jerk's face?" I tried. 

"I'm sorry, but without brakes, you'll just spin out," Milton apologized.

"I guess I could slap it away. But it won't be as satisfying," I sighed.

"Wait, that's it. You guys know that game I play at Falafel Phil's called Spin Out?" Jack asked.

"This is not the time to brag about your high score!" I scolded.

"No, listen. Sometimes in the game you lose your brakes and the only way to make a turn is by doing something called the Daytona Drift," Jack told us. 

"Oh yeah. The Daytona what now is definitely something I know," I sarcastically agreed.

"It's a racing move where you slam on the gas and yank the steering wheel away from the turn," Jack explained.

"Got it," I nodded, putting pressure on the gas.

"NO!" I heard Bobby yell. I may have run over his foot. Or a small boulder. But considering the scream, I'm gonna go with his foot. I raced as I normally would, zipping past all the other slow pokes, but as the turn started coming up I started becoming extremely nervous.

"Alright, Cami. You're gaining ground, but here comes the big turn," Jack warned before I heard some distinct words. "Well, do you have a better idea?"

"Start drifting baby," I heard Milton order.

"In the game, if you fail to drift, what happens?" I asked as I bumped passed some more karts.

"You slam into the wall and your car explodes," Jack answered.

"OH! THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!" I screamed into my mic. It wasn't out of anger or frustration. Well, it was slightly, but it was mainly out of fear and my nerves. "Sorry, I'm just scared."

"Cami, you got this," Jack assured. I took a deep breath, putting all of the pressure on the gas before turning harmlessly and racing over the finish line first. I won!

"Yes!" I heard Jack cheer as I slowed and bumped into the railing. "Cami, you did it! You were amazing!" I got out of the go kart, stretching my timid body.

"That was crazy, what were you thinking?" Milton asked as Jack made his way towards me. I gave Bobby a high five and hugged Jack.

"Yes!" Jack cheered in my ear.

"That was some of the greatest driving I've ever seen," I heard Luke compliment. "Congratulations, son."

"Actually, I'm not a son. I'm a daughter," I revealed, taking off my helmet and showing off my new highlights. Man, they are gorgeous.

"This dude's a girl?" Tad asked, pissed. "That's illegal."

"So is removing somebody's brake line," I pointed out.

"Tad," Luke spoke scoldingly.

"Who cares about her brakes? She shouldn't have been racing which means I won!" Tad insisted.

"No you lost. And you cheated," Luke corrected. "I'm suspending you from racing for a year. The trophy goes to Cami. From now on you qualify whether you're a boy or a girl." Luke raised my arm in victory as I leaned into Jack's side hug.

"The good news is I fixed the kart. I tightened the brakes so we'll be ready for the next race," Bobby informed us.

"Uh but Bobby, you don't know what your doing," Milton reminded him.

"I certainly do," Bobby opposed before hitting the gas and driving backwards as he screamed. He backed into the rack of helmets making us all wince. One of them fell on his head making him groan. He certainly didn't.

•••

"How's Milton doing?" Bobby asked as I took off the headphones I was 'using' to communicate with Milton.

"I don't think he's gonna make it," Jack choked.

"You're almost there Milton. Almost there!" I encouraged.

"Come on, come on!" Bobby chanted as Milton bounced back and forth on the small rocket ship you'd find outside a supermarket. The rocket ship dinged, indicating the end.

"Ooh! I did it!" Milton exclaimed making us all cheer. "I did it! I didn't fall off once! In your face Donald! I'm goin' again!"