Chapter 58: Heard The News
Liam POV:
Song: Open Your Eyes- Andrew Belle
"I'm sorry but he can't have any visitors at this tim-"
"LET ME GO."
Was that-
The door to the left burst opened, my head jerked back when another shout echoed from the hall.
"I-I NEED TO BE WITH HIM-"
The nurse's sympathetic stare flipped to annoyance, "they are working on him. You will just be in there way."
The arm she held came forward from the doors, stepping into the waiting room.
A gasp left my lips at the sight of Whitney.
Not only were her eyes bloodshot but the wetness to her cheeks shone in the light. God only knows how long she had been crying for.
I snapped my head back to the woman behind the desk, "I thought you said no visitors."
Why should she get to see him anymore than me?
"She was very persuasive sir."
I shook my head, trying to brush off my annoyance at the situation.
"HE CAN'T DIE."
I rushed over to the nurse, "wait wh-"
"What happened?"
"Yo-you know her?" The nurse pointed between Whitney and I.
I nodded.
"She can't be in the room right now-"
"Can you keep an eye on her?"
"Of course."
As much as I wanted to blame this on Whitney my heart broke at the sight of her.
"Where's Harry? Why did you say dying-"
"He might-"
"Be-"
I walked over to where she was standing as she struggled to finish, my arms pulling her towards my body.
"Liam h-he," I rubbed my hand behind her back, "sh it's okay," I cooed in her ear.
I had so many questions I didn't know where to start.
Why.
Why was Harry here?
When.
When will he come back?
How.
How did this happen?
Who.
Who is to blame?
What.
What would be the outcome?
_ _ _ _ _
Whitney POV:
Time was measured in breaths.
Each one harder than the last through my muffled sobs.
The moment kept replaying through my mind.
I love you.
The monotone sound signifying his way of giving up, giving in.
I got as far as seventy eight agonizing inhales and exhales when his family burst through the door.
As much as I wanted to sit there and wallow in the pain I forced myself to my feet. Annie spotted me, meeting me half way as she pulled me in for a hug immediately.
When she withdrew to face me I wasn't prepared for the question asked next, "where's my son?"
I covered my mouth with the back of my hand as my chest convulsed, my head shaking as the tears streamed down my cheeks.
Her mouth gaped open, water brimming at the sides. Liam stepped up to my right, giving an uncomfortable cough before speaking.
I barely told Liam anything but he repeated what he knew. I was more then grateful because there was no holding myself together.
"About five minutes ago Harry..." Liam lingered off as he quickly glanced between Anne and I.
"Harry what?" Anne frantically questioned.
Liam let out a sigh, "Harry went flat line."
My whole body shuttered, goosebumps covering every inch of my skin at the two words that left his lips in a simple second.
The man with Anne wrapped his arm around her waist as she broke into tears.
"WHAT?" She cried.
"They've been trying to revive him but we haven't heard-"
"Heard any news yet." Liam shakily finished.
My heart would have broke for Annie if it wasn't already broken to begin with.
But that it was.
I couldn't find the words to tell her, or Liam, the details.
I felt guilty.
And in some weird way I felt as if Harry misinterpreted my words as a sign he could go, but it was anything but.
I need Harry more than I've ever needed anyone in my entire life.
I could live with my parents a two hour flight away.
I could live as an only child, from the first breath I took to forever.
I could live alone, in a house, by myself.
But I couldn't-
God I can't live without Harry.
Truly live anyways,
Experience happiness,
Without him I would never be complete in the way he filled the emptiness beyond the surface.
.
An hour passed.
To long to be left alone to think about everything.
Anne informed us Gemma was on the next flight from London, constantly checking in with no word.
My mind was wrapped in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed the nurse approaching us.
Anne placed her hand on the nurses shoulder once she got close enough, "how is he?"
I bit my bottom lip my eyes intently watching for any subtle shake of her head, barely able to keep myself from looking away.
"I have some good and bad news."
Good.
He could be alive.
Or in a coma again, a voice taunts in my head.
"We aren't sure what triggered it but his heart stopped beating-"
"-cpr was ineffective-"
My ears were ringing with the same monotone beep, I gripped my abdomen as nausea consumed me, surging through me at an almost unbearable rate.
"-already gone for minutes-"
My mind was swarming so fast I struggled to piece together what I already knew but didn't want to hear.
"-very sorry-"
"No he can't-" Annie sobbed.
"-did everything we could to bring him back-"
Liam rested his hand on my shoulder and I lost it.
I couldn't see anything through my blurred vision, I felt numb to the words that only got worse.
"Tried two shocks but there was no sign-"
Liam twisted me around, pulling me in for a hug as I thought I caught the sound of him sniffling back tears. Mine flowed down my face as I buried my head into his chest.
The grip he had around me was the only thing keeping me on two feet.
"Now the good news."
A weight lifted off my chest, hope flooding before it was to late to turn off the optimist in me.
What possible good news comes with death?
"This may come as much of a surprise to you as it did to me-" the voice speaking was now a males, I didn't turn around but it sounded just like the doctor I spoke with earlier.
"He was gone, we had stop resuscitations, there was no sign, but as I was walking out of the room-"
The man stammered over his words, the surprise evident in his voice.
"The monitor started to get a pulse again."
"What are you saying doctor?" The man to my left spoke, I stole a quick glance to see Anne dabbing her eyes.
"It was a miracle, whatever made him go flat line, it brought him back."
"Back into a coma right?" Liam questioned, the sadness evident in his tone.
"No, it's like-"
"It's like it brought him out of it," The nurse said in bewilderment.
"Ha-Harry h-he's" Anne stammered.
"He's alive, this is, well like I said a miracle but we need to keep a close eye on him."
I twisted my head to the side to see the nurse nod in agreement, "We're going to need you to sign some paperwork-"
"Harry's alive." I croaked, more of a statement to myself than a form of question.
I have never felt so broken and utterly relieved.
Had everything yanked away just for it to be given back in a constant game of tug of war, never knowing which side you were going to be on.
"Harry's a fighter. I knew-" A proud smile came across Anne's face as we all pulled in for one big group hug.
Anne kept her hand on my shoulder, wiping her cheeks before speaking.
"Whitney I never got a chance to thank you-"
"You have always been such a good friend to Harry."
I couldn't help but tilt my head in confusion but I listened as she continued.
"He is lucky to have a friend who cares about him as much as you do."
I forced a smile, nervous settling in the pit of my stomach from hearing the same word again, the wrong one.
With everything going on I forced myself to ignore the possibility of how it seemed.
Anne didn't know about us, not just the us that broke up a week ago, the us that never existed beyond the unspoken boundaries of what we were, what we thought we'd always be, friends.
The idea not only confused me but it brought up more questions, to my relief the nurse brought be back out of my daze.
"He's not going to be able to have any visitors until the morning, provided everything goes okay through the night."
Her body twisted to Anne, "immediate family first of course."
"We want to keep visitors at a minimum for the first 24 hours at least."
It hadn't occurred to me her words were indirectly aimed towards Liam and I until she turned to face us at last.
"You two should to home, get some sleep."
"I'm staying. I want to be here when Harry wakes up-"
Or was he already awake.
This is all to confusing to keep up with.
"Your not doing yourself or him any good I'm sure he would want-"
"You don't know what Harry would want," I snapped, my mind already made up, dead set on staying.
The nurse sighed, forcing a smile, "either way there's not going to be any visitors today."
"I understand that," I tried to make my annoyance less obvious but I couldn't mask it all.
"Whitney-"
Anne's voice quietly cut in, "I know you want to be here for him but I think the nurse is right."
A knife pressed through my chest, of course Anne thought that, she would get to see him, as she should, but a girlfriend comes higher on a list of priorities than a long time friend.
"Harry will ask for me," I defended, my voice soft and weak.
"He'll probably sleep most of the night anyways dear-"
"And if he asks for you, we'll notify you immediately but the policies are still in effect."
My eyes drifted behind them to the large roman numeral clock on the wall, counting the hours.
Nine tomorrow morning.
24 hours.
Liam tapped my shoulder, "I don't want to leave either but we can come back in the morning with the rest of the boys."
"What if something happens and we're not here-" my voice was shallow and I didn't trust it, tears brimming in my eyes.
"We'll take good care of him." The doctor reassured.
I sniffled, still adamant on staying here if it meant sitting in a chair and falling asleep.
"Why don't you come stay at my place," Liam offered.
"I couldn't possibly," I stammered, "I mean that's really nice of you but I can always ring Maddz..." My voice drifted off, remembering how she told me her boyfriend bought them tickets for the euro cup this weekend.
"The boys will be coming by to so we can all catch up. Maybe we can show them how to play laser tag again." Liam joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.
My eyes drifted back to the swaying doors as the doctor walked back through.
I didn't just want to see Harry; I needed to; More than I've ever needed anything.
But I couldn't and it was only getting harder to keep myself together.
Tears of joy, of worry of if he would be the same Harry that left my house last night.
Liam nudged my arm, Anne flashing me a smile of hope, "what do you say?" Liam inquired.
"I want to stay..." I bit my bottom lip, trying to find the line between rational and needy, and selfish for wanting to see Harry a second time before they even saw him a first.
"Oh," Liam let out a disappointed sigh.
"But I guess it's better than waiting here and driving myself insane."
Liam smiled, gripping my shoulder supportively, "we can get here first thing in the morning."
I nodded, forcing a smile as I quickly wiped a tear trickling down my cheek.
.
We walked over to where Anne and the guy she was with was sitting. Liam shook his hand while I hugged Anne goodbye. Questions still swarmed through my mind but they were small in comparison to all of this and would have to wait.
I followed Liam into the escalator, staring back at the doors directly before me.
I drew in a deep breath, looking straight ahead as the metal door slid shut, mumbling nervously.
"Liam d-do you think he'll really be okay?"
"I hope so."
His answer was honest, I pondered for a moment before replying.
"I hope so too."
"Whitney?"
I peered up from the floor, "yeah?"
He shuffled his hands into the front pocket of his jeans, "I know."
"You know what?"
Could he-
Did Harry really tell him about Andy.
Or maybe he was talking about my other secret.
Liam coughed uneasily, "Andy told me."
I tilted my head in confusion, "he told you what?"
"You know about you two getting back together."
I wasn't sure if to laugh at the absurdity or how to respond in general.
Thankfully the silence was broke by the elevator door opening, I followed closely behind him before thinking of what to say.
"It's not what you think. I like Harr-"
"You don't have to explain yourself. Sorry it's none of my business really."
I'm glad Liam knew which way was the exit because my vision was so blurred when I came in nothing looked remotely familiar.
A sign lit up above the door we exited through, Liam speaking a little louder so I could hear behind him.
"I hope it's okay-"
A car was pulled up to the front of the circle.
"-I was with him when I got the call-"
A knot spun in the pit of my stomach.
Squeezing my eyes shut while this nightmare only ceased to prove me wrong. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse the past comes back and hits me like a freight train.
"Whitney?" Liam's voice caused me to snap my head up
My eyes were fixed to his as the passenger door swung open.
"I changed my mind-" I quickly ranted, looking to my right at Liam.
His confusion flashed to curiosity as he glanced between the front seat of the car to me.
"Are you two coming?" His voice was lighthearted but it didn't stop the uncomfortable feeling growing inside.
I wanted to run, actually sprint back up those five flights, heck I'd even take the steps.
But my choices we're slim.
Sit there with Anne while contemplating everything Harry did or didn't tell her.
Or sit through an awkward, if you can even call it just that for I'm not sure there is a word strong enough to describe what the tension in the air would be like, car ride for 15 minutes.
Be around two people or a whole room full while they wait for my next break down.
Because just because he was alive doesn't mean things will go back to the way they were.
"Whitney?"
We never really discussed where we stood that night.
Feeling it and saying it aloud are two separate things and now I'm not sure of which page we were on.
"Are you coming?"
I swallowed back the terror, pushed my mind from the haunting memories, ignored my feet telling me to run away.
I went with the safer option.
One that brought upon the least questions, or explaining for that manner.
When I nodded and reached for the handle I knew nothing but the fact that this was going to be the longest car ride of my life.