Chapter 51: Catching The Drift
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Recap of Chapter 50:
Harry grinned wider than I've ever seen, "I want to be with you too."
I shook my head frantically, "no." I whispered.
My words took him off guard, "Huh?"
The air stilled around us, taking in a few more needed deep breaths, linking both hands behind his neck, pulling in just close enough so that my eyes were fixed up to his.
"I want you, want you Harry."
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Whitney POV:
Song: Poison & Wine- The Civil Wars
"Oh."
I stared at Harry in silence, in disbelief.
In less blunt words I just told him I wanted to have sex and all he had to say was oh.
"Well," I nervously mumbled, "can you say something please."
"Oh, I mean wow."
My hand lightly shoved Harry's left shoulder, forcing his eyes to drawl back to mine. I took my bottom lip between my teeth as his eyes scanned mine before speaking.
"I'm just surprised. I mean like out of all the things you could have said...I-I didn't see that coming."
"Oh," I hummed, still unable to read him.
"So...what do you think?" I fiddled with my nails anxiously, "about what I said I mean." I finished, linking my stare to his emerald eyes.
Harry's hands gripped my waist, "I think," he paused drawing in a shaky breath, "that the thought alone is tempting to say the least. But-"
"You don't want me like that," I whispered, sparing the next words which I already knew.
"You're not serious. You don't think that-"
"I mean isn't that what you think?" I probed, my hands moving to rest on his forearms.
"I'm a guy Whitney. Of course I want you like that."
I frowned.
"N-no I mean it's not just about the physical. I just," Harry sighed, "There's so much we still have to discuss. I don't even quite understand WHAT we are right now. I just don't want to rush back into things, you know."
It was a lot to take in.
"You mean you don't know if you want to be with me," I accused.
Harry pondered for a moment, "I do. I just don't think you have really thought about this."
"I want to lose my virginity to you, what more is there to think about!" I cried desperately, my hand covering my mouth as soon as the words left my lips.
"Babe were not even...I don't even know what we are. Plus f you're really sure then you still have plenty of time to think it over..."
"You don't get it Harry," I groaned while slipping my hands away from his forearms.
"I don't get what?"
Whatever was building inside of me was about to implode, my sanity slipping away.
"If I wait then you may not be my first anymore." I confessed.
Harry's mouth gaped open, throwing his hands up in shock.
"Are-"
"Are you saying if I don't take your virginity, tonight, you-you're just going to find a guy who will?" Harry bellowed, his voice laced with so many mixed emotions I couldn't quite depict them all.
I was too hurt by the words he accused, "How-" I paused gathering my thoughts, "How can you think that?"
"I don't know, your not exactly making much sense Whitney. This isn't-"
"Nevermind."
"No, this isn't what Harry? Say it."
"This isn't you." Harry reluctantly admitted at last.
Of course it wasn't.
I was who my mistakes made me, what Andy made me.
And now all I felt was rejection, just wanting to forget the idea for all it did was make Harry think I fell off the deep end of needy and insane.
"Forget I said anything."
Harry gave me a puzzled expression before being bluntly honest, "Are you trying to tell me something here. Because I don't know if I'm just missing the pieces or if there were never any to be put together in the first place?"
I let out a sigh of relief, "I thought you'd never ask."
My arms linked under Harry's muscular arms, my palms resting on his broad shoulders.
"Can we have that talk?"
"Now?"
I nodded, more sure of this more than I've ever been sure of anything.
"Now."
_ _ _ _ _
Andy POV:
Song: Skin- Zola Jesus
I paced back and forth by the front door, my eyes drifting up to the clock.
6:10 PM
My fist slammed to the edge of the wooden frame.
Where the hell is Whitney?
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, hitting her number from speed dial, the steady hum of the ring echoing through the line.
_ _ _ _ _
Whitney POV:
"Wait."
Harry twisted as I hesitated by the door.
"I have to take this."
"Can't it wait?" I could tell he was struggling to masking the annoyance in his tone.
I had felt it buzzing at least twice already, afraid if I simply ignored it any longer Andy would have no problem in showing up here himself.
"No sorry," I paused seeing the disappointment flash his features, "I promise I'll be right back out though."
Harry sighed, digits combing his disheveled hair fretfully.
"What?"
"Nothing," he shrugged.
"Harry," I encouraged.
"It's just," he paused, "It's just last time you said that- you got a text and ran off-"
"I won't...change my mind this time." I stated, the hesitation in my voice withholding the conviction from making its way to the surface.
Harry shuffled his hands into the back pocket of his black jeans making his toned torso visible beneath the tightly clung white tee.
"Okay," he half smiled though I could tell the other portion was forced.
I returned Harry's action anyways, watching him take a seat on the front porch step while I shifted back inside. I took a few steps from the door before tapping the screen and speaking into the line.
"Hello."
"Where the hell are you?" Andy growled.
This wasn't going to end well.
"I-I'm home."
"And-" Andy prompted bitterly.
"And something came up."
"Bullshit."
"Excuse me."
"What?" Andy spoke, his tone faltering.
"That was rude."
"And you blowing me off wasn't?"
"Look you're not going to do this anymore. You can't just say whatever you want-"
"Well we had plans incase you forgot," Andy snapped.
"So what? You can talk to me like shit?"
"I-"
I cut him off, my blood boiling inside, using Harry's words to give myself confidence to defend myself.
"If I'm supposed to make an effort then you're going to try a little harder at not being such an ass all the damn time."
"Woah baby don't forget who's in control here."
I bit my lip while the tips of my nails grazed the ripped frays of my jeans.
"Now you either get over here, NOW, or the deals off."
I took a deep breath, thinking carefully about my chosen words.
A smirk spread across my face, "It's on hold actually."
"Wh-"
The grip on my phone tightened as I hung up before Andy could get out a response.
That will either prove to be the best or worse decision I have made thus far.
_ _ _ _ _
Andy POV:
Who the fuck does Whitney think she is.
I'll show her.
The keys roared into the ignition, my foot pressing the gas peddle to the floor.
So many thoughts of what I would say to her when I arrived.
Maybe if she didn't WANT the deal anymore I would just make a stop on my way back home and break the news to him tonight.
It would be quite pleasing to see the look on his face.
To find out what all Whitney's been keeping from him.
But when I pulled up to the curb what I saw took my plans for a 180.
And Whitney will get what's coming to her for she only brought this on her self.
_ _ _ _ _
Whitney POV:
Harry twisted around as the door clicked shut behind me. The tint to his eyes visible from the dim pourch light, but it seemed to illuminate his features to the finest degree.
"Sorry about that."
Harry smiled in understanding, patting the empty space on the concrete step beside him.
I took a seat, my hands clasping together in my lap uncertainly.
I opened my mouth to speak but quickly shut it again when Harry's arm slipped around my left shoulder. Tugging it towards his body in reassurance.
I wasn't sure how much time I had so I easily fell into his embrace, my head resting upon his right shoulder, hand reaching up to the top of his white tee.
"What do you want to know?" I sighed, the pads of my digits feeling down the middle of hie chest, resting upon the swallows.
I could feel his heavy stare watching intently as he lowly spoke, "Have you been with anyone? You know since us..."
"Been with?"
"Mhm."
"Who like Luke?" I joked.
Harry's body tensed, pulling me back slightly, "Who's Luke?" His eyes narrowed in...jealousy?
"The guy at the club?"
I nodded, "yeah."
"You two-" Harry nervously shuffled his hair back from his forehead.
"No. It wasn't like that." I smiled, "there's been no one but you."
Harry sighed in what appeared to be relief, his lips contacting with mine. The familiar taste leaving them tingling when he departed contact to speak.
"You haven't kissed anyone else?" Harry teased, moving in for another kiss when my body involuntarily tensed at the memory.
"Harry," I warned.
His expression hardened, contorting with confusion before momentarily dropping the question.
"Um another then?"
I nodded.
"Who was the guy at your house that night?"
My eyes guiltily peered up to meet Harry's. My palm pressed to the butterfly tattoo on his chest to feel his heartbeat quicken when I opened my mouth to speak.
"He was worried about me after London. I didn't want to talk to him because- well I was with you- but he came over to check on how I was doing-"
"Wait," Harry cut in, his larger palm encompassing mine with a tight grip.
"Is he the same one you kissed?"
"I didn't kiss him-"
"But you said-"
I twisted on the step to face him better, my right hand gripping behind his neck for support.
"He kissed me. I didn't kiss him."
Harry's eyes narrowed, not deciphering the hidden meaning behind the words I spoke. As if to say what's the difference when in reality it made ALL the difference.
"Babe?" Harry practically whispered.
My eyes fixed with his.
"Who's he?"
I took a deep breath.
Breathe.
He won't flip out.
Everything will be just-
"Andy."
"Andy?"
"Andy." I repeated, no longer looking into his emerald eyes.
"I don't-"
"It was-" I felt his curls brush my cheek as he combed them fretfully while speaking, but that was no longer my focus.
My eyes drawn to the sound of a car, looking up to see a pair of headlights flicker off.
"It was Andy. Andy was at your house-your phone-he kissed" Harry said in slurred fragments, almost as if to rewind through the events with placing his name in the process.
"Yes it was Andy but that's not why I-."
My voice was cut off by the sound of a car door slamming shut.
Harry pointed straight ahead into the darkness as it became clearer, "Wait is that-"
"Andy." I finished for him.
Both of our gazes were now fixed to the bronco that sat at the opposite end of the street. The tall shadowed figure that made their way across.
My heart sunk down into my stomach, then feet, and was now residing somewhere beyond ground level. His shagged hair crept into view, the steps pounded into the concrete.
And all I could do was sit here.
Counting the seconds until my crumbled world actually and entirely,
Imploded.