Chapter 15: The Hardest Part

Whitney POV:

Song- Breakeven: The Script

My mind knew better than to get my hopes up.

My heart didn't care to listen.

These feelings toward Harry seem to have that similar effect, always overpowering my logic. I'm not complaining because they do produce an indescribable sensation. I just wish that the side effects weren't so overwhelmingly evident.

The part where you sit there asking yourself why.

The afterwards when you end up in tears because things didn't work out the way you had planned.

The final glance that your entire existence now depends upon...

Moping around the house was the only thing easing the tension building up in the pit of my stomach. That didn't mean it helped with the other half, controlled by my unsteady heartbeat.

Before the only suffocating thought running through my mind was Harry leaving. But now an even more powerful one was surpassing it. Just thinking about it sent a shiver down my spine.

The possibility that we wouldn't get a proper goodbye.

Harry barely had time for the brief call this evening. I had just reached the car, dressed and ready to meet him. All for him to tell me not to come over today.

I did my best to sound not disappointed; I knew he must have felt bad enough as it was without me making him feel any worse. What was the point have been anyways? It wasn't his fault for one. Harry didn't exactly get a say when they decided to tweak the schedule last minute. Besides no matter how sad I was, or am about the news, it wasn't going to change reality.

Harry was going to have to stay at rehearsals today for longer than planned.

When I asked him how late the line went dead silent. His final words coming out in a rushed whisper:

"I promise I'll be there."

Harry was never one to break a promise but what if he didn't have a choice.

I need to see him. Wrap my fingers around his chestnut curls, graze my hand down his chilled jawline, and press my lips to his one last time before distance becomes an inevitable barrier.

But eight thirty turned into nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

I pulled my phone from the nightstand.

'No new messages.'

I told myself I wouldn't bother him but time keeps slipping away…Every passing second made my anxiety worsen, only meaning there would be less time to spend with him.

Unable to restrain any longer I pressed the one for speed dial, moments later the call went through. My heart fell uneasy with apprehension with every passing ring. Would he answer? What if he's still there...or already left?

The ringing suddenly ceased, the voice radiating from the line familiar but not the raspy one belonging to Harry.

"Hello Whitney."

I searched my mind trying to match the distinct tone...

"Andy?" I blurted out as the realization came to me. "Wait where's Harry...and why are you answering his phone?" I hesitantly questioned, not sure I actually wanted to know the answer.

Andy gave a mischievous chuckle, "Don't worry your pretty mind about it baby." He spoke with more sincerity then I was comfortable with. My stomach sank at the way he said 'baby' in a belittling sense.

I definitely wasn't in the mood for games.

I raised my voice, yelling into the receiver "Where the hell is Harry?" Surprising myself by my uncharacteristic outburst, I can't recall taking to anyone like this before; It just kind of came out subconsciously.

My reaction had the opposite effect, only making Andy even more amused than he already was.

"I think I saw him flirting with the stage director a couple of minutes ago." He paused but I remained completely silent, speechless.

No Harry wouldn't do that...would he? I asked myself.

It was evident by the pleasure in his tone that he had picked up on the fact that his words had fazed me, more than I should have let them.

"I'd get him for you but they seem pretty busy. I'll be sure to tell him you called though."

"Wait."

'Click'

My heart sunk as the line went dead.

Just when I thought it wasn't possible to feel any more miserable.

Andy was up to something...

Liam.

Could this be what Liam was talking about?

My mind felt dizzy with the overwhelming thoughts running through. Everything somehow became more complicated when I searched for answers. Now not only do I not know when or if I will see Harry tonight. But I also have to worry about Andy...I couldn't tell if he was jealous of Harry, still pissed at me, or just searching for a way to mess things up for us.

Maybe all three.

I found myself drawing a prior conclusion that now held true for this point in time.

This was going to be one hell of a night.

_ _ _ _ _

Harry POV:

I trudged down the long corridor and twisted the doorknob to the door that read "Practice Room" This was the last place I had been in today so if my phones not here then...

On the coffee table, now I remember! I had laid it beside the mug of coffee Marisa had made earlier.

We had made actually.

She was really fun to talk to and surprisingly it wasn't as awkward as I was expecting, with her being Annabel's sister and all. Thankfully that never came up; I even think Niall might have a little crush on her. I didn't blame him though; She was pretty...pretty hot to be exact.

I drew my attention back to the screen of my phone.

That's weird I thought to myself.

I was expecting at least ten missed calls from Whitney but there was none. I scanned the directory until I came across her name, stopping myself from pressing call as I took notice of the time.

Shit.

It was already 12:00.

I speedily flipped through to the calendar and my thought was confirmed, the flight leaves at nine in the morning, today.

I could go to Whitney's now but then I still need to get my things together...I never was one to think ahead about these kinds of things. I probably should have packed already.

So there was only one option I could think of that made the least sense, yet allowed me to get the most time with her.

Pack.

Show up at her door in the middle of the night.

And somewhere along the way...leave.

This should be easy right?

_ _ _ _ _

Whitney POV:

I practically leaped off the sofa when my phone...

'Ding!' It went off again.

My heart fluttered as I saw Harry's name.

My fingers frantically tapped the screen, which then froze unable to keep up with my repeated commands to open the messages. Finally after shaking the phone hysterically it opened at last.

'I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. Please don't be mad, I don't want to leave things that way. Be there soon Whitney. Xx' Harry's message read.

I bit my bottom lip, holding back tears. Not because I was going to miss him, well I was but these tears were for something so much more than that.

Harry was just that kind of person that just by reading the words, I could feel it in my chest how truly sorry he was that our evening got cancelled. So sincere in how he treats me, gentle in the way he holds me, instantly making me feel safe, secure. I know he would do anything to keep me that way.

I was a little nervous having him come over so late, still not trusting myself alone with him like that but my feelings took over, caving into my desires.  

Good because I need you.' I typed back weakly.

And I did.

I needed him to hold me in his arms and reassure me that the time of his absence would quickly pass. That I had nothing to worry about, he would wait for me when he returned. Even more importantly that he still wanted me to be his. Because there isn't a fragment of my entire being that isn't head and heels. Crazy in...

'Could I really be?' My subconscious questions.

'It too soon to feel this way.' My mind answers for me.

I don't use that word lightly; I mean I've only ever said it to my parents, my best friends, and Andy.

Andy.

I loved Andy.

But could I actually be in love with Harry.

_ _ _ _ _

Harry POV:

Song- Wanted: Hunter Hayes

I didn't waste any time in entering inside, dropping my suitcase and carry-on bag onto the floor, and gravitating towards Whitney's welcoming arms.

The smell of her hair permeated through the air as she laid her head on my shoulder. It smelt just like a field of flowers, instantly warming my senses.

I could feel her skin surfacing with goosebumps beneath the pads of my fingers as they trailed down her exposed arms. Our lips desperately found one another. I teasingly brushed mine against hers which quickly escalated...

It was passion of a different kind, rushed with intensity of the hasty movements. Whitney's fingers wrapped around my curls as my arms locked around the back of her neck, just beneath the long hair now tickling my wrists.

The gentle movements ceased as Whitney suddenly caught me off guard, dominantly pressing me back against the door, shutting it with the force of my body. I went with it, increasing the rate at which my lips moved against hers tenderly.

For once it was pure attraction.

The feelings are always there of course but the kiss portrayed a mutual understanding we weren't yet ready to neither discuss nor accept. That for this moment in time we had each other and so desperately wanted nothing more than to keep our lips pressed together, body's intertwined, and never let go.

"Whitney. I. Need. Air." I breathed out between small kisses stolen from my lips between each word.

A groan came from Whitney's parted lips as she reluctantly grazed my bottom one with her teeth before withdrawing her lips from mine.

"'Maybe I should come over late more often." I teased.

Whitney's cheeks flushed to a tinted pink. A grin spread across my face which she quickly mirrored.

Her hand reached up and ruffled my hair, "Have you showered yet?" She questioned, tilting her head to the left as she waited for a response.

"Um...no" I admitted. "I had to pack," I added gesturing toward my luggage.

She crinkled her nose cutely, “You can use mine. I’m sure the hotel ones won’t be great…” her voice lingered off.

“You sure?” I asked while glancing up at the clock knowing it would take away our precious time together.

She nodded in confirmation, placing a small kiss on my cheek. “I’ll get you a towel, c’mon” she said gripping ahold of my hand and dragging me up the stairs.

*  *  *

Whitney POV:

“You can join me you know?” Harry’s voiced echoed from the shower.

My cheeks flushed at the thought, “Keep dreaming Styles.” I yelled back to the closed door adjoining my bedroom.

My hand trailed down the sheets as I focused on the sound of the water tricking from the shower. An uneasy feeling began to form in my stomach, one that up until now I had been able to make disappear. This time it wasn’t settling.

I shuffled over to the dresser pulling out a pair of plaid shorts, blue tank, and Harry’s tee shirt which has now become my favorite one to sleep in because his scent never fades. It almost makes it feel like he’s here with me. Knowing it would provide me with some form of comfort for the nights to come did slightly ease the feeling; However, it was still painfully present.

I took the pile of clothes with me down the hall. I opened the slide door to the side, revealing the small hamper adjacent to the washer and dryer.

My eyes quickly scanned the hall for any sign of Harry.

Seeing there was none I slipped off my shoes, hastily throwing my clothes off into the bin.

My skin surfaced with goosebumps as it was exposed to the rather chilly room temperature. As I picked up the shorts from the pile my eyes shot up to the door of my room after hearing what sounded like footsteps padding on the floor from behind.

My heartbeat accelerated as I pulled the band of my shorts over my hips, frantically throwing the tank back down on the dryer and reaching for the shirt instead. Just as I pushed my arm into the sleeve of Harry’s tee the sound of a turning doorknob traveled through the air.

“Shit.” I mumbled as my other elbow got stuck on the collar of the shirt. I quickly yanked the remaining portion down and after regaining my vision peered up at a pair of green eyes shimmering into mine.

I quickly slid the door shut before leaning against it for support after seeing Harry’s exposed chest. A couple of tattoos were etched onto his skin but I couldn’t quite make them out, taking a mental note to explore them later. He wore sweatpants as well, the draw strings falling just beneath the ‘Calvin Klein’ written across the band of his boxers.

My eyes continued to trail as his defined v-lines disappeared beneath the two. They surfaced a weakness; Admittedly being one of my favorite physical attributes of Harry’s innumerable.

Finally I lifted my gaze to meet his again, but he was looking somewhere else as well. My eyes followed his stare down to my…

I let out a screech as I looked below to see my shirt was bunched up just below my chest, leaving my bare stomach for all to see. My cheeks burned as I hastily pulled on the bottom hem so it now matched the length of my shorts.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who wanted to go shirtless,” Harry joked.

I covered my face in embarrassment as I made my way towards him.

“Whitney,” Harry mumbled bringing my attention up to meet his.

“Mhm,” I weakly mumbled.

“You’re so beautiful.” He breathlessly spoke, gripping my hand with conviction.

I wrapped my arms around to his toned back, pressing our bodies together before whispering in his ear, “You’re really warm.” I took a deep breath before gathering up the courage to ask, “Will you stay in my bed so we can cuddle?”

Indented dimples formed in the crevice of his cheeks, “So you’re finally taking me up on my offer?”

I was a little confused at first but then I remembered our chat at dinner. The one where I told him about my new living arrangements. “I guess I am.” I couldn’t hold back the smile any longer,

“Sleepover!” I shrieked before sliding past him and racing into my bedroom.

Strong hands grasped my waist from behind as I entered the doorway, “Sleepover.” He repeated in a deep tenor sending a shudder through my body.

Harry placed small kisses starting at my ear until he reached my neck, his actions coming to a cease as the clock in the corner of my room suddenly chimed as the hour turned to two.

He effortlessly twisted me around to face him, swallowing sharply before he spoke, “We should probably try to get some sleep…”

I returned a small nod, even though I had already made my mind up. Determined to stay in reality while it lasted, I had a whole week to sleep and dream of things that won’t compare to tonight. Actually having his arms around me.

For once reality is better than my dreams.

So I chose reality.

*  *  *  *  *

Harry POV:

Song- Leavin': Jesse McCartney

I ran my fingers through Whitney’s hair, now fanned out behind her onto the bed. Her head lay on my chest and above I could feel the pulse of her heartbeat rising and falling slowly, helping me identify that she was thankfully calm.

I carefully propped myself up on my left elbow, trying to keep my body still so I didn’t disrupt Whitney’s angelic state. Together we pulled up the thin duvet. I let out a chuckle when Whitney pouted as I pulled it mid waist; I was actually a little cold.

“So today…” Whitney uncertainly spoke, grazing her nails against the skin on my arm.

“What about it?” I questioned, unsure of what she was asking.

“Did anything, happen? You know with what Liam said yesterday.”

I had completely forgotten about that to be honest. My thoughts were consumed by finishing up with rehearsals, about getting here as quickly as possible to say goodbye to Whitney.

“Nothing…” I said confused by the realization.

Whitney tilted her head meeting her sapphire eyes with mine. “The phone call?”

“What phone call?” I questioned, tucking the fallen hair behind her ear.

The look written across her face altered, appearing to be deep in thought followed by some sort of epiphany. “I was just wondering if Liam called, you know with what he said yesterday and everything.”

“Mhm,” I replied while twisting the bottom hem of her shirt to restrain myself from blurting out the various questions still on my mind. It was obvious she knew something I did not.  I finally settled on one.

“Have you talked to Liam?”

She shook her head no, catching my hand in restraint now that the tee was drawled up to the bottom of her shorts. I pulled it through in a knot and fell back into conversation, “It was probably just another one of his riddles, I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it.” I evaluated other topics and settled on one I could no longer evade.

I started off with the positive, “I can stay the whole night.”

Her eyes lit up, pulling her right arm across my abdomen. The corner of her mouth pulled up into a small smile as her fingertips brushed back over my abs, her gentle touch sending an exhilarating feeling through my chest.

I gripped my arm around her back, pulling her as physically close to me as possible as I revealed, “I’m leaving for the airport at seven.”

Her body tensed in panic.

*  *  *  *  *

Whitney POV:

I knew it was coming.

The dreaded words, subject, reality in general.

I tried my best to stay awake but somewhere between the endless conversation, reminiscing about our time together both past and present, and the stolen kisses my heavy eyelids shut.

When opened again I was no longer in the presence of the curly haired boy that provided me warmth.

Or looking into the emerald eyes that provided me with hope.

A place I wasn’t ready to be.

One without Harry.