Chapter 21: Confessions

Whitney POV:

Song- Face Down (ACOUSTIC) - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Before I knew it my hand raised, putting all my effort into slapping Andy right across the face. The action had a loud sound of impact succeeded by my hand tingling in pain as I pulled it back down to my side.

Andy brushed his fingertips over the red mark brazed onto his cheek, judging by the flinch that followed I must be stronger than I even realized.

“What was that for?” Andy questioned.

“Are you kidding me?” I angrily spat.

He didn’t answer, staring at me like I was completely diluted.

“For pushing yourself on me. For…”

“Hey you seem to be enjoying that as much as I did.” He retaliated with a smirk that made my skin crawl to no end.

“I thought you were Harry!” I shouted in defense.

No.

He’s not going to turn this around on me.

Andy was the one to blame for all of this.

I didn’t do anything wrong.

“Oh c’mon Whit you can’t honestly tell me you two share something as strong as we did. He will never kiss you like that.”

I laughed, he was so diluted. I clenched my teeth to restrain myself from slapping him again, “All I feel is disgust.”

My words instantly dismissed his amused expression, leaving him completely speechless.

“Now if you don’t mind I need to get back to my boyfriend Harry.” I said emphasizing the last two words to get the point across.

As I turned the wall and took off down the ramp I heard his voice just loud enough to make out each piercing word.

“Deny it all you want Whit but we both know you felt that too.”

My stomach was already misplaced by his sudden advancement but hearing that kept it buried somewhere deep inside. A place where I questioned if there was any truth to his statement.

If in that moment my lips were pressed against his was there any point in time…

Oh my Harry.

I need to find him.

Like, now.

_  _  _  _  _

Harry POV:

“There you are!”

I threw my vest back on the hook before rushing over to Whitney. Her wavy hair was a little disheveled as she shuffled over, meeting me half way.

A smirk spread across my face as I informed her, “We won!”

“Harry I need to tell…” A puzzled look surfaced as she glanced around the room, “Wait what did you say?”

“The red team won. Told you we were unstoppable.”

“I knew that was you!” she yelled excitedly.

My eyes jerked up as the door opened once more. I thought everyone else had already…

“Wait what took you so long? I was about to come look for you, the game ended like five minutes ago.” I questioned as Andy entered the room.

My eyes scanned Whitney’s face as her cheeks flushed, teeth grazing over her bottom lip, before meeting my gaze at last.

“I u-uh got a little los-lost.”

I laughed at how cute she was, stammering over her words.

“Well in that case glad you found your way back to me.”

Her lips tugged up into a small smile. Eyes trailing mine attentively as they dropped to her vest, “Can you help me back out of this?”

I took ahold of the straps, giving them a gentle tug.

“It would be my pleasure.” I said unable to withhold the amusement in my tone.

I slipped the vest off her shoulders, placing it back on the wall as we headed into the lobby before making our way outside.

You know this week was really beginning to take a turn for the better.

Getting a chance to spend more time with Whitney, who’s now my girlfriend.

Having her open up to me tonight.

_  _  _  _  _

Whitney POV:

Lovely.

Just perfect.

As if the car ride back wasn’t awkward enough there was a laser tag after party to top it off. 

“Pizza’s HERE!” Louis shouted running to answer the knock at the door.

I felt fingertips brush my forearm, glancing up to see Harry intently watching me. I hadn’t really put in any effort to hide my downer mood because underneath it all…I was scared.

Of how Harry would take everything. Not only did we have to finish up the conversation from the pool, I mean there was no way of talking myself out of that one now, but then somehow after all of that I have to confess to him what happened not even an hour ago.

My eyes wandered as everyone crowded around the bar and began to dig in. I mean it was nearly ten thirty after all which my stomach decided to remind me with a roaring grow.

Harry chucked, “Someone’s hungry.”

“A little,” I admitted resting my hand on his knee.

“Hey why don’t we take ours back to the room?” Harry suggested, gripping his large palm over my hand.

I let out a sigh as I stood, accepting the reality that the time had come, “Okay.”

*  *  *  *  *

Song- Holding a Heart: Girl Named Toby

As we walked down the hall my heart accelerated in my chest. Harry’s grasp departed mine briefly to pull the hotel key from his back right pocket, carrying our pizza in his other one.

Harry gestured inside, “Ladies first.”

I made my way over to the bed, kicking off my shoes before taking a seat on the bottom end, crossing my legs pretzel style. Harry quickly followed, positioning himself directly across from me with his back rested against the headboard. He picked up the pizza from the nightstand, moving it directly in-between us before picking up a piece to eat.

Harry’s voice broke the silence, “I had fun today.”

“Me too,” I responded with a genuine smile.

There was another long silence that consisted of Harry chewing and me staring down at the plate.

I couldn’t eat right now if I tried. My stomach rumbled in protest causing Harry to chuckle. After finishing his first piece he picked up another before trying to hand it to me.

“Um no thanks.”

“Your stomach will thank me later,” Harry insisted with a grin.

I daintily pushed the plate to the side in protest.

“I-I have something to te-tell you actually.”

Harry replaced the piece he was holding on the dish. His tone turned serious, “Is this about the pool?”

I nodded.

Harry’s pulled my hands from my lap, connecting them between us above the sheets. “Okay babe I’m listening. Just remember that you can tell me anything.” He said emphasizing the last word.

Where do I even start?

I’ve never felt more vulnerable. Harry could read me like an open book but disclosing the deepest part of yourself is a whole different concept, one plain emotions could never manage to express.

“I used to have this journal I would write in. But then one day someone, Andy, found it.”

He looked confused as to where I was going with this but let me continue without interrupting.

“It was kind of personal you know? Something that was meant for only me to read.”

“Okay go on,” Harry encouraged while running his thumb along my knuckles.

My courage was slipping so I decided to just get it over with, going directly to the point.

“About a year ago…” I took in a deep breath before revealing in a hushed tone, “I had an eating disorder.”

“What was that I couldn’t hear you?”

Harry's index finger grazed my neck as he tilted up my chin. I peered into his curious emerald eyes, pleading he wouldn’t make me say it again. Speaking it aloud made it all too real, bringing the past flooding back. If you could drown in your thoughts then I would be buried under Niagara Falls right now. Harry unyieldingly continued to search my expression for the words he mustn't have heard.

I let out a sigh. Despite my mind leading me astray I continued to maintain eye contact while trying once again.

“I stopped eating for a while, days at a time. It was like I didn’t have any control over it and it got to the point…”

Harry's touch brought my thoughts to a halt mid-sentence. My body trembled as his expansive palms transcended up my forearms. I drew my attention to his expression, unable to tell if he was revolted by my confession or simply in shock. After reaching the crease of my elbow he spoke at last.

“You used to starve yourself?” Harry asked, his voice cracking slightly.

I could feel the judgment in his tone, fingers running though his tasseled curls fretfully, eyes heavily studying my composure as I began to crumble before him.

“Yes,” I croaked before releasing my hands from his, burying the rushing tears into my palms. 

Harry’s voice echoed through the room, “Please don’t cry.”

Moments later my shaking body was relieved by a set of warm fingertips rubbing my back in a soothing motion.

“Shh. It’s okay.” Harry cooed.

His words ignited hope in me, followed by relief that he was being so understanding.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm,” I hummed as my tears were wiped with a gentle swipe of Harry’s digits.

“Was it be-because of me?” Harry stuttered.

"Of course not."

Harry sighed in relief.

"Another?”

I nodded.

"Was it just a one-time thing?" Harry hesitantly questioned.

I took a few steady breaths before revealing more.

"I was signed into facility for a week to get my weight back up. It's not something that I can just get rid of. Taking to a therapist helped back then. But everyday it gets a little easier. There’s sometimes like today it just resurfaces..."

Harry pushed some fallen curls to the side before locking his emerald eyes with mine. “I can’t describe how much it hurts to know you went through that.”

His eyes narrowed as he tightened his grip around my digits.

“I will be here for you Whit. When you don't see the beauty in yourself I'll be here to show you how perfect you are to me."

His words melted away all my worries. All that was left was fluttering butterflies in the pit of my stomach when he inched nearer. The contact of his knees pressed to mine replaced the anxiety in my chest with a feeling of exhilaration.

“Have I told you today how beautiful you are?” He whispered in my ear.

I grinned like an idiot as he studied my lips, almost asking for permission.

As I leaned into the kiss my mind was clouded with the memory of my last one. I fought back the tears of guilt as I used what little restraint I had to pull back.

I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, erase every trace Andy had left upon my lips, but the worst part about the past is it can't be undone.

Harry wore a dazed expression as he ran his fingers through my waves to brush my hair back behind my shoulders.

"What's wrong?" He questioned in a worried tone.

"There's something else I need to tell you Harry and I don't think you’re going to take this well at all."

_  _  _  _  _

Harry POV:

My heart ached in my chest. Knowing she went through all of this during my absence fueled guilt deep inside. Just when I thought the tension had eased, the burning desire in me to kiss her tears away overcame me. That’s when Whitney's voice broke through my thoughts.

"There's something else I need to tell you Harry. I don't think you’re going to take this well at all."

What came next I was honestly not prepared for.