Chapter 48: Mixed Signals
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Recap of Chapter 47:
For I was hopelessly broken.
And the one I needed the most somehow found a way to break me down into so many pieces I can never be whole again without him.
Leaving me for something I have no control over, Andy.
Leaving me when I was already on the downhill slope.
Cutting the only tie to him that kept me from hitting rock bottom.
And in that moment in time...
My biggest mistake of them all became clear:
Ever falling in love with Harry Styles.
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Whitney POV:
Song: I Want Crazy: Hunter Hayes (If u have a better song suggestion for this 1 please let me know)
I tried to distract myself from everything.
Dancing with the girls for atleast an hour when I realized I had completely blown off Luke.
My eyes drifted back to the bar, no longer seeing him where we were seated before.
"Who are you looking for?" Cassidy asked.
"Luke," I answered as my eyes continued to scan the room.
"The cute guy you were flirting with?"
I twisted around, "I was not flirting." I defended.
Maddz looked at me doubtfully, the others clearly mirroring her look.
"Fine he was cute okay," I said rolling my eyes.
Maddz did her giddy clapping, ushering me off to find him.
It wasn't like that though.
But maybe with time it could be.
_ _ _ _ _
Harry POV:
"So your friend..." Ashley lingered off, snapping her fingers in an attempt to recall her name.
"Whitney." I finished for her.
"Yes right Whitney," she nodded, her wide eyes staring into mine hesitantly before continuing, "Has she always looked like that?"
My index trailed the rim of my glass, "looked like what?"
"Um you know-"
I shook my head, not picking up on whatever she was going with this.
Ashley sighed, "Skinny."
I took a swig of my drink, shrugging, "I mean she's always been petite I guess-" unsure of where she was going with this.
"No Harry like skinny skinny," she said emphasizing the last two words before tilting her head behind her to the left.
My eyes followed, quickly spotting Whitney amongst her group of friends.
I thought about Ashley's words as my eyes scanned her frame from the side.
I guess I hadn’t really noticed, noticed.
How easy it was to make out her hipbones in the tight dress she wore, collarbones prominent, how fragile she looked.
As light as a feather.
My chest tightened, Ashley's hand gripping my bicep.
"She looks sick." She snickered distastefully.
My head twisted abruptly, "What's your problem?"
Ashley pulled her hand away, raising it in an attempt to drop the subject, "sorry I didn't realize it would offend you."
"It offends me that you would say something about her like that Ash." I shook my head in disapproval, "I thought you were better than that but if you must know-"
I paused, trying to say it without breaking the promise I made to Whitney, being as general as possible.
"She went through some stuff okay," I struggled to contain my temper, taking another drink before letting out a huff, "But she's better now."
Ashley was silent, granted we had only met briefly back in the day and ran into each other Tuesday, but in that short period of time she had never been one to not talk.
"What?" I pushed.
She shook her head; ignoring my question and going onto sip her drink.
"I know you have something to say so just say it," I growled in annoyance.
"You and I both know what I'm thinking," she paused her lips curving into a pleased smile as my silence confirmed her belief, "that's what I thought."
She twisted the bar stool, taking her drink with her as she stormed off towards the dance floor.
Leaving me to talk myself out of everything she had just tried to convince me of.
But in reality I didn't know quite what to think of the situation.
_ _ _ _ _
Whitney POV:
After circling the dance floor three times I finally found him talking to two girls, I twisted around but his gaze caught mine, ushering me over. He turned back and spoke something that made the other two head off toward the bar.
"Hey," I smiled.
"I was just going to look for you."
I squinted doubtfully, tilting my head concurrently towards the two girls he was just speaking to, "really?"
Luke took a step closer, speaking in my ear over the loud music.
"They aren't half as intriguing as you."
I laughed, "oh really."
"Really," he smirked.
"Do you want to dance?"
I bit my lip, my thoughts feeling a little jumbled when he shot me an insanely cheeky grin.
My body involuntarily tensed as his hands moves on either side of my waist but with a deep inhale and exhale I forced myself to relax because in a weird way I needed this.
A distraction.
And maybe he wasn't Harry, but with the extra liquor in my system from the past hour I didn't really care anymore.
_ _ _ _ _
Harry POV:
Song: I Need You Now: Olly Murs
God she looked beautiful.
I tried to look away, focus on tapping my foot the beat of the music but despite my efforts I found my eyes drawn to her every time.
I shifted uncomfortably, peering down the bar to see who she was talking too on the dance floor.
My stomach flipped uneasily in my chest as the strobe lights illuminated the individual.
Not Maddz,
Or Cassidy,
Or her other friend that I can't remember the name of,
But a guy.
I could feel my temperature boiling as Whitney flashed him a smile, giggling away at something he said.
My nails dug into my jeans, seeing his hand wrapped around her waist, her back to his front.
I had to restrain myself from walking over there because all I wanted to do was shove him to the other end of the room.
My hand balled into a fist, nails pressing into my palm when I stole another glance.
He fucking kissed her.
I couldn't tell exactly but she didn't pull away, and by the movements of her hands she was only encouraging his advances.
My hand slid from the base of my glass to my curls, fisting them while my thoughts became jumbled.
Could this really be the guy-
The one I heard that night she dialed me-
The one that was over at her house while we were still together.
It didn't make sense and the more I thought about it the harder it became to not go there.
She wouldn't actually cheat, would she?
There was no refuting she had become distant.
The grip on my drink tightened, downing the final sips before pushing it aside with the two other empty glasses.
My goal was at least to get buzzed but I couldn't sit here another damn minute.
Watching him throw herself at her, just for her to play along into every sweet word he whispered in her ear.
This is fucking enough.
I stormed my way across the room, barging my way through the mass of people until I reached her. My body shifting between them, my voice admittedly impatient.
"Excuse me."
Whitney's eyes widened my hand gripped her waist before speaking disapprovingly, "Harry," she lowered her voice to a whisper.
"Whitney," I retorted with an equal annoyance in my tone. My eyes darting between her and the guy that was still too close to her for my liking.
She shot me a glare, twisting around briefly before mumbling words to the guy.
He looked like your average douche bag; dirty blonde hair that was probably achieved through highlights, cocky as hell from the way he walked around like he was the hottest shit up in this club, and his smirk like he honestly thought he was going to get some after a few drinks and an hour of dancing.
"Come," I ordered, my eyes locking with hers as my digits tightened their grip on her waist, slowly pulling her towards my frame.
Whitney shrugged my hand away, letting out a sigh of defeat before following me in silence.
Ten paces later I felt her long fingers grip my bicep, pulling us to a halt. By the firm grip and bitter tone it was evident she was clearly pissed.
"What the hell was that for?"
"Not here."
She opened her mouth to speak but nodded in agreement, following me as we headed toward the side exit.
_ _ _ _ _
Whitney POV:
My eyes scanned Harry's frame as he held the door open for me, though his expression was anything but the opposite.
Stone hard, no emotion, lips pressed together, fingers fisted by his side tensely.
The night air was cold but that wasn't what had every hair on my skin raised, goosebumps surfacing like a wildfire.
The tension in the air did.
Harry's eyes narrowed, slowly drifting down to view my attire, his examination concluding with a huff.
"What?" I insecurely inquired, crossing my arms in front of me.
"Nothing," he shrugged, his eyes drifting to the right into the darkness which told me otherwise.
A shiver went through my body, the emptiness in his tone making him feel hundreds of miles away though standing right before me.
"Why did you bring me out here?" I mumbled, my eyes peering up to his desperate to see the bright emerald eyes that now held nothing but detachment.
Harry’s voice was raspy, still refusing to look at me.
"Does it matter?" He shuffled his chestnut curls uninterestedly.
I blinked, unable to tell if he was being cruel or simply rude.
My hand reached to grasp the brass knob, twisting concurrently.
I couldn’t take this right now. I just need to go before Andy notices I left- Before I took another look at Harry and felt other wave of rejection-
There was a loud slam followed by a whoosh.
My body tense as I peered up to find Harry’s palm pressed flat to the iron door. He must have managed to shut it before I had opened it more than a few inches at most.
I didn’t like this side of him. One that I hadn’t been aware of until it was brought into light back in London.
“You can’t wait to get back inside can you?” Harry mumbled with- jealousy? No it couldn’t be why would he-
"What's your problem?" I snapped, finding the little strength in me to face him.
His hand remained pressed to the door, his brow knitting together as he stared down into my eyes.
"My problem is that guy your with."
I searched his eyes, using the anger in me to mask the sadness.
"In case you don't remember you’re the one that broke up with me," I retorted because as much as it hurt to admit, it was the truth.
A brief silence.
"I remember," Harry alleged in a whisper.
For some reason his words set my heart slightly at ease, a sign I wasn't alone in this broken state. Maybe he was just better at hiding it, but only for so long.
***Song: Turn Your Face- Little Mix***
Neither of us dared to break the deep stare, my right hand reaching up to the base of his neck.
We both let out a sigh, clearly feeling whatever this was, absorbing every ounce of the moment. A simple touch that made time freeze upon itself.
My digits searched for the curls, his hand abruptly gripping my wrist in restraint before they could secure their grasp.
"Was it him?"
I blinked, his words catching me by surprise.
"Wh-What," I stammered, at a loss for words at his lowly spoken ones.
"The guy at your house that night. Was it him?" He sternly questioned, flickering his head towards the inside of the bar.
"Luke? No why would you- You don't think-" my voice lingered off, my mind just now understanding what he was really asking.
The only thing to fill the emptiness in the air was Harry’s heavy breathing. So deep it had my heart switching paces as I awaited his reply. Waiting for him to tell me I was wrong. That he knew I would never cheat. That he knew how much he meant to me.
"Well what the hell am I supposed to think Whitney?” Harry shook his head, muttering the last words under his breath but I heard all too clearly, “You never tell me shit anymore."
I bit my bottom lip, holding back tears for his harsh words breached through my chest, striking straight through my heart which began to flip restlessly, fearfully, of losing him more than I already had.
Using the only defense that seemed to keep me from breaking apart.
"What about you Harry?"
His lips pressed together in silence.
"Do you think it's easy for me to see you with Ashley?" I cried, putting a distasteful emphasis on her name.
"You have no fucking idea-" I bit my lip harder, flinching when the pads of Harry’s fingertips brushed the crease of my elbow.
"No Harry."
I shook my head, immediately pulling my arm back away from his touch. I knew I had to stay strong and his touch made my knee’s feel weak and with it on me I didn’t have a fighting chance. So I pushed it away, taking one last deep breath before speaking at last.
"You have no idea what the past few days have been like," a tear trickled down my cheek as the last word left my lips, my gaze faltering to the darkness behind his frame.
"I-" Harry's index reached just below my chin, but I stopped the movement, raising my own hand to wipe my cheek as another tear fell.
I drew in a shaky breath, feeling his heavy stare as his voice echoed through every nerve ending in my body.
"Look at me."
The tears brimming in my eyes broke loose, the softness of his voice drawing my head up to face him.
Harry's reached out to me, hesitating his digits a mere inch from my cheek, waiting before making contact.
My vision was blurred but I managed to get out a nod, letting him know it was okay.
My chest flipped at the touch of his fingertips against my skin, the pads wiping beneath my lashes. I forced a smile of appreciation. I say forced because it only brought back memories of the many times he’s done it before. The ones that made me to nostalgic to allow myself to think about.
Harry’s body inched closer, mine shuttering when he became close enough so that the warm air exhaled traveled down my neck, my spine, back to my stomach which had now dropped somewhere beyond return.
"Whitney," Harry whispered, his hands sliding down to gently grasp my forearm.
My body trembled, his emerald eyes coming into view, a flicker of lust. One that started as an ember of a fire, when met with another ember combusting to ignite a flame.
In one swift motion Harry’s plump lips fell to mine, his opposite arm linking behind my back to pull my body against his larger frame.
So many feelings washed over me in that instant. Relief. Hope. Comfort. Joy. A yearning to freeze time.
Not butterflies.
It was unlike anything I have ever felt before-
The trembling from the cold was brought to a halt with the warmth emitted through the thin material of his tee. My eyes squeezed shut, pressing my lips back passionately to his.
His tongue skimmed my lips, mine granting him entrance in an instant for there was no fighting a sensation this strong.
I squeezed my eyes shut, the taste of his plump pink lips on mine now not just a memory.
The touch of his strong hands on my body, keeping it pulled closed to his which now actually brought me warmth again.
The spinning of my mind from being so inconceivably trapped in a breathtaking moment.
My fears.
That Harry didn’t feel the same anymore suddenly wasn’t even a question anymore.
I could feel it in the kiss, the same tenderness. How dominant yet gentle he could be, especially the movements of his digits so light I could barely feel them traverse my spine, but just prominent enough that it sent my body into an overdrive of emotions.
My teeth grazed his bottom lip when he began pulling away, my arm wrapping around his neck to hold him there.
Harry responded to my action by kissing me back five times harder with the biggest smirk on his face I could feel the familiar dimples against my cheeks.
If the kiss hadn’t taken my breath away, the look in his lit eyes when he pulled away surely did.
“That-“ Harry paused as if to contemplate his words before nodding in some sort of conformation as his tongue swiped across his parted lips.
“That was…”
“…wow.”
I giggled, unable to hide the smile forming, a real one at that.
“Wow.” I repeated breathlessly,
The whooshing of the breeze was the only sound echoing through the air, my mind still trying to get a grasp on what just happened.
_ _ _ _ _
Harry POV:
Song: DNA- Little Mix
“Whit-“
She hummed in response, peering into my eyes as my hand linked behind her neck. My digits combed through her brunette cascaded hair, attempting to sort through the locks tangled by the wind before bringing myself to ask.
“You know-“
My brow knitted together fretfully now struggling to keep my tone from faltering.
“You know that this doesn’t change things.” I lingered, gauging her reaction, “Right?”
Whitney’s hand slipped from my shoulder, the look in her eyes heartbreaking.
I could actually feel the hope as it faded away.
“What?” She whispered the disbelief in her tone evident.
God Harry you’re so fucking stupid.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? You’re sorry! Don’t even try to tell me you didn’t feel that Harry because that’s utter bull shit-“
“I felt it.” I openly admitted it. I couldn’t deny that if I tried.
The problem was I couldn’t resist it, her, anymore. I shouldn’t have let myself give in-
“I don’t get you Harry.” Whitney shook her head, her voice growing shaky.
Three breaths of silence.
“You tell me we’re over. You bring me out here. You kiss me. BUT YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WITH ME.”
“I want to be with you.”
“Well you have a great way of showing it. I can FEEL the fucking love.” She snapped sarcastically.
“I want to be with you."
“I just can’t until I can trust you again. Until you can tell me about that night.” I spoke lowly, wishing it could be another way. But it was the only thing that was fair to the both of us. The only way we wouldn’t end up back where we started again for nothing.
Silence.
I didn’t mean for my words to sound so harsh, but the way it drained the color from her face made me feel god awful.
“Say something.”
Whitney peered up from the concrete, the wetness of her cheeks coming into view, her voice low.
“I can’t keep doing this anymore-“
“Okay.”
“Okay what babe?” I cooed, watching as her fingertips reached up to wipe beneath her lashes.
“Okay. I’ll tell you.”
“Really?” I said, unable to hide the surprise in my tone.
Whitney bit her bottom lip, crossing her arms across her chest as a strong gust of wind blew.
“Yes.”
“But not here,” She quickly added.
“Of course.”
“I’ll um get us a cab then-“ I paused waiting for her conformation.
Whitney nodded slowly, my gaze catching hers.
God she looked, terrified.
My hands rubbed her arms, the street light bringing the goosebumps into view, “We’ll just go back to my place and talk?”
Whitney sighed, her palm moving above mine so they were clasped together.
“Okay,” was her response but something told me it was the exact opposite of the way things were about to go.
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A/N: Okay so I was going to end in a cliffhanger but yeah I hope you all liked the harry & whitney bit after writing I couldn't mess it up that quickly (: