I slowly blinked my eyes open and noticed that it was still dark in my bedroom. Judging by the dark grey light filtering in through the blinds, it was a stormy morning. I heard a loud rumbling of thunder. Almost immediately after that I heard a whimper and a warm body pressed close against me.

I stiffened for a moment and my eyes widened. Then I glanced down and saw that my blanket was nearly pushed off of the bed. In addition, Nialler’s face was flush against my stomach and his arms were wrapped around my legs. He was softly snoring and his hot breath was blowing against my skin.

I shuddered slightly. This was the most awkward thing to ever happen to me. After every stupid thought I’d had last night, this was not helping. I cursed under my breath as I sat there trying to think of something to do. If I woke him up, Nialler would just laugh it off. But if he saw how embarrassed I was, he would get suspicious. I could not have a suspicious Nialler on my hands. He was relentless when he wanted to get to the bottom of something.

I glanced helplessly over at the window and just as I did so, lightning flashed and the sound of thunder followed. Nialler whined again in his sleep and I held my breath. Nialler shifted and his hand moved so it was resting on my thigh. I started to panic and then my phone went off.

The ringer was so loud on my cell phone that it woke Nialler up and he nearly jumped into the air by how startled he was. Despite everything, the pure look of terror and confusion on my best friend’s face had me laughing. I was thankful that my embarrassment wasn’t showing and I quickly snatched my phone up from the nightstand.

I looked away from Nialler and swiped the screen to answer the call. “Hello?”

“Hey, ya knobhead.”

I smiled and looked over at Nialler. He was looking around the room hesitantly. The room lit up from another flash of lightning and he jumped. I opened my free arm and beckoned for him to come over to me. He did so easily and he snuggled up next to me and closed his eyes.

“What do you want you little weasel?” I asked.

“Mum wants you to come around for dinner tonight,” Gunner said with a laugh.

I groaned. “You can’t be serious.”

Nialler opened his eyes and looked at my face. He poked me in the ribs with his finger. “What?” he asked.

“Don’t get grumpy with me, Casp,” Gunner said. “Mum said to bring Nialler with too. His parents are going to be there. She said she wants you dressed nicely as well.”

Nialler poked me a couple more times and asked, “Who is it?”

I grabbed his hand to stop him and looked down at him. “It’s Gunner. He says we have to go to my parents’ house tonight because we’re having a family dinner.”

“That’s not so bad,” Nialler said.

“See, he knows how to reason,” Gunner chirped.

“We have to dress nicely,” I said to Nialler.

He screwed up his nose and snuggled back up against my chest. “That’s stupid.”

“Told you.”

“You two are impossible,” Gunner said. “Wait, why does he sound so close to you?”

I froze for a second. “What?”

“Are you two in bed right now?”

“No,” I said quickly.

“You’re a really bad liar Caspar. I mean, I know it’s only ten in the morning but why are you two still in bed together?” he asked curiously. “Is there something you’re not telling me about?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I warned. “You’re being an idiot.”

“What is Gunner saying?” Nialler mumbled against my bare chest.

I started to play with a few of his curls. His eyes were closed again and I was sure he would easily be asleep again in a few minutes. “Nothing,” I said.

“I told you you were a terrible liar,” Gunner said. “He’s your best friend. He can tell when you’re lying just as easily as I can.”

“Shut your mouth,” I said quietly. “We just woke up when you called.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you idiot.”

Gunner laughed. I gritted my teeth together. “You know, you’re getting awfully defensive. You always used to joke about this stuff. Obviously something has changed.”

“I hasn’t, Gunner. Just leave it,” I growled.

“You are such a grump these days.” He laughed again. “Can’t even have a decent joke with my lovely brother anymore. Not now that he’s in a secret relationship with his best friend.”

I sat up abruptly. Nialler slipped out of my hold and his head fell back on the mattress with a thump. He yelped and his eyes sprang open. I jumped out of my bed and walked out of the room. I head Nialler calling out after me in confusion but I ignored him and went into the bathroom.

“I will kill you,” I seethed into the speaker. “Don’t even get me started. Because this is not funny.”

Gunner sighed loudly. “Oh my God you are such a baby. Acting this way just makes me believe that you two are fooling around all the more. It’s not like you two haven’t been oddly close for the last few years.”

“Gunner, it’s nothing like that. You know we’re best friends. That’s it. You don’t have to talk like this.”

“I’m just saying what i’m thinking. You know, if you two are fucking, I don’t care.”

“We aren’t fucking!” I yelled angrily. My brother was seriously pissing me off right now. I hardly ever raised my voice at him like this.

“Whatever, Caspar. Just get dressed and be here by seven for dinner.”

Before I could say anything else, Gunner hung up on me. The last thing I heard was his laughter and that made me even more angry. I was fuming. I looked in the mirror and ran a hand through my hair. I couldn’t even believe my brother would think like that about Nialler and me.

I mean, yeah I was having confused feelings at the moment, but those were brand new. I had never felt any sort of attraction for my best friend before last night. So for Gunner to say something like he did to me, means he’d thought this for at least a little while now.

That made me angry at myself. I wasn’t acting like a normal teenage boy should. I shouldn’t be so close to another guy. It wasn’t normal to cuddle your best friend the way I did with Nialler. At least it shouldn’t be normal. But what hurt was that it did feel normal for me. I felt comfortable with him when we were close with each other. But obviously Nialler didn’t think like I did. If he had, maybe we would be more than friends by now.

I shook my head. No, that would never happen. Neither of us were gay. We had sex with girls, not each other. We didn’t think like that. We weren’t attracted to each other. I most certainly didn’t like Nialler. I just couldn’t.

“Caspar!” A loud banging on the bathroom door made me jump. “Are you okay?”

I walked over to the door and pulled it open. Nialler was standing there--still in his underwear just like I was--and he had a very concerned look on his face. He looked me over and then glanced down at the phone in my hand.

“Who aren’t you fucking?”

I blinked and stood still in front of him. “What are you talking about?”

“You just yelled ‘we aren’t fucking’ very loudly at Gunner. Am I right?”

I swallowed. “Uhm...”

“Okay then who were you talking about?”

Nialler pushed by me and walked into the bathroom. He went over to the toilet and shamelessly pulled his cock out and started to go to the bathroom right in front of me.

I stared at him in shock before I quickly looked away, feeling extremely embarrassed. God, I was acting like such a girl. Nialler and I have seen each other naked hundreds of times. This should have been no different. Only it was, because I almost didn’t want to look away. I started to feel sick to my stomach.

“Skylar?”

I snapped my head up. “Excuse me?”

I heard the sink running and saw Nialler washing his hands. He looked over his shoulder at me. “Were you talking to Gunner about Skylar?”

“Huh? Yeah, sure.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Nialler asked. He shut the water off and dried his hands on the towel that was hanging up. He walked up to me and stared me in the eyes. “Caspar?”

I averted my gaze and pulled away from him. “I’m fine. I’m just going to go back to bed for a while.”

I started to walk away. Then Nialler grabbed my wrist and yanked me to a stop. “Wait. Can I come with you?”

I glanced over his face. This was so insane. I didn’t even know why I was hesitating. I never acted like this. If I kept it up, Nialler would definitely figure out what was going on. I couldn’t risk that, so I had to try and act like I used to.

I smiled warmly at my best friend. “Yeah, of course.”

“Sweet, I’m still really tired.” Nialler sounded relieved and that made me feel a bit better. “And it’s still storming out.”

Nialler slipped his hand into mine and we started to walk back to my bedroom. I looked down at our joined hands and took a deep breath. My heart rate was starting to pick up. I swore in my head and wished that I would stop having these feelings.

Nialler pushed my door open and walked into my room. We moved over to my bed and climbed into it. I was still holding onto his hand. My face started to heat up and I was thankful that the storm had left it dark in here.

I let go of Nialler and pulled my blanket over me. I turned onto my side and faced away from him. Without warning, Nialler scooted close behind me and wrapped an arm around my stomach. I tensed up for a second from the unexpected contact but I forced my body to calm down.

I closed my eyes tightly and tried to slow my breathing down enough to go to sleep. I just wanted to forget everything that was happening to me right now. I couldn’t believe how unlucky I was. I wasn’t a particularly horrid human being. So why was I being punished with these new feelings? It just didn’t seem at all fair to me.

When Nialler pressed his lips against the back of my shoulder I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“What was that for?” I asked, shocked.

“Thanks for being there,” Nialler said.

“Where?”

“Right here. Anywhere, really. Just thanks for being my best friend.”

I blinked back my shock as best I could for a couple of moments. “Uh, yeah. No problem, Ni.”

“I love you, Caspy.”

“I love you too, Ni,” I whispered.

Nialler pressed his face up against my back and I closed my eyes in comfort. I just felt so much better in his arms. It scared me, yeah. But I didn’t care. I could hide my feelings forever as long as that meant I could keep doing this with my best friend. Or at least I could try.