Dedication goes to ILuveChocolate because she's super amazing! Everybody go read her stuff if you haven't already. And make sure you read her short story, Kiss Me, 'cause it's great. Okay enjoy the chapter! <3

Nialler pushed me up against my bedroom door. He reached around me to turn the handle. I stumbled and nearly fell backwards as the door swiftly swung open behind me. I was startled by this side of my best friend. Everything was happening so fast. It was making me a huge bundle of nerves.

We had literally just gotten back from Skylar’s mom’s and Nialler had followed me down the hall. Then he practically jumped me and now he was backing me up to my bed. My mind was racing. I felt a little light headed. He quickly shoved me roughly into the center of my bed. He climbed on after me, not giving me a chance to take everything in. In a flash Nialler was on top of me and crushing his lips onto mine.

He kissed me so feverishly that it had me panting and gasping for breath. “Babe, slow--” I started to mumble against his lips. My eyes were squeezed tightly shut.

Nialler cut me off by kissing me forcefully. I could already tell that in only a short amount of time from now, my lips would be bruised if he kept it up. Nialler bit my lip. I gasped in pain and he easily dipped his tongue inside my mouth. I let him dominate the kiss and brushed my tongue against his. After a little while he pulled back and sat up. He pried my shirt off, not giving me a chance to help him with it.

Nialler stared at my chest. He was sort of freaking me out. I had never seen him act like this before. The amount of lust in his eyes was quite overwhelming. Nialler lightly placed his hands on my bare skin and moved them around. He flitted his hands over my stomach and brought them up to brush my nipples with his thumbs. I gasped.

Nialler met my eyes. “You were so fucking hot tonight,” he said. I shivered as he stared me down. “I could hardly keep myself from kissing you and touching you in the pool.”

Nialler gripped my sides tightly and leaned back down. He pressed his lips against mine. In no time we were right back to where we had been before. Tongues were swirling, I was panting, and Nialler was in charge. Proof enough of that was in how he touched me and rubbed himself up against me. It was intimidating and exciting all at the same time.

We kissed on my bed for a while longer. We kept rolling around on top of my comforter and my legs got tangled up in it so many times that I had lost count. On two occasions I almost fell off of the bed, and Nialler almost landed himself there once. It felt so nice to be this intimate with him, but it was just weird to be honest. He was moving so quickly with me and that made me worry a little. But as soon as I started to doubt what was going on, he’d put his hand in just the right spot or do something distracting with his lips.

When Nialler placed his hand on the front of my jeans, a couple things happened. Firstly, my eyes shot open like I’d just been stabbed in the chest. It was so unexpected for him to do that, so yeah, it had scared the life out of me. Second, I realized just how aroused I was by our hour long make-out session. That was enough embarrassment to last me a year, I was sure. Lastly, though, Nialler pulled back and gave me a smile.

It was almost as if everything I needed was held in that simple gesture of his. Sure his teeth were really white and his lips were full and tasted delicious. But it went beyond that. His smile reached his eyes and somehow his entire face held an expression that told me just how much this guy loved me. Seeing the spark and emotion in his eyes and on his face convinced me that I needed to let go.

Yes, I had major anxiety when I was with Nialler like this. But that was only because I was afraid of either rejection of being used. Both were feelings that I had never experienced with any girls in the past. I came to the conclusion that that was because I didn’t actually love them. Not like I did Nialler. And that’s why I got so freaked out. Because with him, it actually mattered. It never mattered with anyone else.

I looked into Nialler’s eyes and smiled back at him. It wasn’t forced or reluctant. It was genuine. I was sure that if you scientifically analyzed both of our expressions right now, you would find love and happiness among the forefront. Somehow, all of this just felt right.

Nialler brought his lips back down to mine and we kissed a few times. Nialler had stilled his hand while our eyes had been locked. Now, he started to move it again. It caused friction over the bulge in my pants and I almost groaned against his lips. I involuntarily bucked my hips forward too. That had earned a nice little chuckle from Nialler.

He took his hand away--much to my displeasure--and then grabbed the front of my belt firmly with both of his hands. He yanked and pulled on it until it came loose. All the while, he moved his lips expertly in rhythm with mine.

Nialler leaned back. I looked up at him and watched him toss my belt onto the floor. He rolled off of me and started to take his own pants off. I snapped back to reality and realized that I should probably do the same. So I grabbed the button of my jeans, but was stopped.

Questioningly, I glanced at Nialler. His hand was on top of both of mine, not letting them continue what they had set out to do. His jeans were half on still, with one leg completely out and the other almost there.

Nialler shook his head at me. “Don’t. I want to do that.”

I blushed but nodded. It was both cute and embarrassing that he wanted to be the one to unclothe me. But I loved him, so what did it matter? I leaned back on my elbows and waited for him to throw his jeans on my floor. He was now left in just his black boxer briefs.

My eyes were immediately drawn to that damn tattoo of his, and they remained glued there as he crawled back on top of my lap. If he had gotten that tattoo because he knew the people he slept with would stare at it, then he certainly got his moneys worth. It worked on me. My eyes drifted down to the obvious bulge that matched my own. His hands worked my zipper down and then he was pulling my jeans off.

Soon, the thick fabric was added to the pile of already shed clothing with an audible thump. My heart was pounding and I felt vulnerable. But I’d be damned if I stopped now. There was no way I could go back from this. I wanted this--my body wanted this so badly. And we both knew that Nialler clearly wanted this too. That was enough to keep me going.

Nialler laid down on the bed next to me. He gently cupped my face with his hands. His thumb brushed across my cheek and I broke. I leaned forward so quickly I surprised even myself. Nialler’s lips responded immediately, though, so I knew I wasn’t being out of line. Of course, how could either of us be out of line when we had come this far. We were two best friends--guys even--laying in a bed together, practically naked, and we were touching each other in some of the most private places of our bodies.

Yet even reflecting on all of that wasn’t enough to make me feel ashamed. Who the hell cared if two males weren’t “supposed” to do this? Because I certainly knew I didn’t. I was done giving a shit about what people thought of my sexual preferences. All I could think about was this sexy guy I was kissing and the R-rated fantasies that were currently playing inside my head.

As we kissed, Nialler eventually let his hands wander again. I even let my own wander lower and lower, practically mimicking his. We caressed each other and kissed each other over and over again. We didn’t stop until after we had elicited hundreds of moans, grunts, and heavy panting breaths from each other. We didn’t stop until we had gasped and groaned into each other’s mouths and necks dozens of times. We didn’t stop until our voices were raw and our throats were dry. We didn’t stop until it was closer to sunrise than it was to the previous sunset.

*******

If there was anything at all that I learned about last night, it was that I didn’t regret a single thing we had done. And, of course, I learned just how amazing my alleged boyfriend was in bed. No, we hadn’t gone all the way. We just fooled around with a lot more dedication than we ever had before.

“Robertson!”

My head snapped up and I glanced around, alarmed. My professor was glaring at me from the front of the small classroom.

“This isn’t high school. Don’t waste my time sleeping in my class,” he said. “If you’re going to party all night, then don’t even bother showing up.”

I muttered a sincere and embarrassed apology and sat up straight. Some girls snickered at me and a few guys gave me looks that was meant to say they knew how I felt. I just ignored everyone. For the rest of the hour I paid more attention and took more notes than I ever had before. Who knew that Sociology could even be such an elaborate topic. I certainly hadn’t.

After class, I yawned more than a handful of times as I walked across campus. Nialler and I had stayed up until nearly six this morning. We had spent the entire night just exploring each other’s bodies and showering one another in affection. It was probably going to make the list of one of the most amazing nights of my life.

“Shit,” I swore quietly and not unpleasantly as I thought about the previous night. I just loved that boy so much.

The rest of the day dragged by agonizingly slow. I had fallen asleep in the cafeteria while I was eating lunch. A janitor came by and jabbed me with the end of his mop handle. I was beyond embarrassed and had quickly scampered away, taking my stuff with me.

I didn’t get to see Nialler all day. Our schedules didn’t line up. Then he had to work at the gallery at four. So just to recap: I was missing him, falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, and I could practically feel the bags under my eyes forming.

Unfortunately, I had Algebra homework to do so I didn’t even get to take a nap once I had finally gotten home. Nialler had sent me a text telling me he’d be at work until late. He asked me to wait up for him because he apparently missed me. I had smiled at the small text on my phone’s screen. I was insanely exhausted, but how could I let him down? I couldn’t. That was the problem.

At almost six o’clock I had finally finished all my math problems. I was just going into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich when my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked, not checking the I.D.

“Caspar, where are you?” Melissa, my agent, asked. She sounded very distressed.

I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m at the studio--just like everybody else--and there’s a photo shoot going on for Thriller Magazine,” she said. “Everything’s going fine.”

“Okay...” I said. “That’s good.”

“Oh wait, did I say everything was going fine?” Melissa asked. She sounded oddly sarcastic for her normal self. “I was lying. It would be absolutely fantastic if the freaking model meant to be on the cover was actually here!”

“What? Are you talking about me?” I asked.

“Who else?” she asked very loudly.

“I didn’t know about this,” I said defensively.

Melissa sighed heavily. “Do not tell me you haven’t checked your email. Caspar, you know you have to check that all the time. I’ve sent you five emails since Saturday. We even talked about this at the last shoot.”

I racked my brain, trying really hard to remember if she had mentioned it. I couldn’t, so that meant either she had forgotten to tell me or I had been way too busy thinking about other things to listen to her. It was more than likely the latter.

“I’m sorry, Mel. I didn’t remember.”

“It’s fine,” she grumbled. I knew it wasn’t. “Just get over here, now. You will not lose this cover. I will not allow it. You’re lucky I’m always early and that it doesn’t start for another ten minutes. So if you drive fast you won’t be too late. Now, go!”

Melissa hung up on me. I groaned and looked at the fridge I had been about to open. My stomach growled menacingly. I was so hungry. But Melissa was pissed and I had to hurry. I guess I’d have to wait a while before I could eat.

*******

I didn’t get home from the studio until after ten o’clock. I was practically dead on my feet. My stomach was nearly protesting against me. It’s weapon of choice was it’s loud noises that made it clear it needed to be fed.

I pushed through the apartment door and dropped my stuff on the floor. I was way too beat to care where my things were supposed to go. I headed straight for the kitchen. I pulled sandwich meat out of the fridge and started shoveling it into my mouth. While I was doing that, I began to make a sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes, and all that.

Nialler wandered into the kitchen. I took a giant bite of my food as my eyes caught his. I moaned at the taste of the sandwich. Waiting this long to eat definitely made food taste better. I had been starving for the last eight hours. Ever since I’d fallen asleep in the cafeteria, actually.

“Somebody’s hungry,” Nialler joked with an adorable smirk on his face.

“You have no idea,” I said with my mouth full.

He probably couldn’t understand me, but either way he just smiled and laughed. Nialler walked up to me and put his arms around me in a tight hug. I kept stuffing the sandwich into my mouth over his shoulder. I was way too hungry and tired to care about what was polite. He was my best friend, so why would he care? Hell, we’d swapped spit and had our hands down each other’s pants. I was pretty sure we were beyond all the manners and formalities crap anyway.

I finished eating and I surprisingly felt full. Nialler kissed me on the cheek and grabbed my hand.

“Where have you been, mister?” he said, smiling.

I groaned. “Working. Today has been the longest day in the history of all days.”

He tugged my hand. “Come on, you can tell me all about it in bed. You look like a zombie.”

“I feel like one,” I whined. We began to head towards my room. “We stayed up nearly all night, remember?”

Nialler nodded. I saw him grin at the memory. If I wasn’t so exhausted, I probably would have too. But I couldn’t even muster up enough strength to do that. I could barely even walk straight. Nialler practically held me up and supported me on the way to my room.

“I think I can vaguely recall that,” Nialler said.

We entered my room and we both stripped to our underwear right away. I fell back onto my bed. Nialler soon joined me. He pulled me into a hug and held me close to his chest. I closed my eyes, just wanting to stay here forever. I didn’t want to leave this spot ever again.

“So what happened to you today?” Nialler asked a moment into the silence. “You look rough, babe.”

I whimpered. “I got like three hours of sleep, kept falling asleep in class, the cafeteria, and even once while I was standing against a wall.” Nialler chuckled and I didn’t have enough energy to scold him. “Then I had the biggest load of math homework to do. I didn’t get to eat since two this afternoon because just when I was going to, Mel called and bitched me out.”

“Why did she do that?” Nialler asked, confusion in his voice.

I sighed. “She said she had me booked for the cover of Thriller. I never checked my email this weekend--”

“Shame on you!”

“--and I never listened to her when she told me about it in person. So I showed up ten minutes late to the studio. I was so tired, starving, and then I got chewed out because I had dark circles under my eyes! Well no duh! It’s been a rough day.”

I finished my rant with a pout. I stuck my bottom lip out and Nialler pecked me a sweet kiss. I smiled and kissed him back once, just as softly. My eyes stayed closed the entire time.

“Ni,” I said. I felt a tug at my chest and took a deep breath. “I’m really tired.”

Nialler tightened his arms around me. “Are you okay?”

I tried to nod. “I think so. It’s just that I’m sleep deprived. It’s making me worry. You know how it is when I worry.”

“Shhh,” he cooed. “I know. You need to relax. Stop overthinking. It’s gonna get you into trouble, baby.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Nialler ran his hands through my hair, trying to soothe me. For a while, I lay there in his arms, trying to work on my breathing. After some time, I must have made some progress because I just faintly remembered the kiss from Nialler before falling asleep.