I was moping. I knew I was. For the last six months that was basically all I did. I didn’t know how Ely put up with me, either. He must really love me. That’s what helped me out a lot--knowing that I always had him. Even if my best friend left me to live overseas.

The first few weeks were the easiest, I think. We talked every couple of days leading up to Christmas, but we didn’t actually see each other again until the family party we had every year. I didn’t bring Ely with, even though I really wanted to. I figured I needed to come out to everybody first. And I didn’t want to steal Nialler’s thunder since it was his last day with all of us.

It didn’t feel like much of a change once he was actually gone because I’d just seen him and it felt like we were just too busy to call each other. But then it sunk in towards the end of January that that wasn’t the case. I mean, it was part of the reason but not all of it. We couldn’t call each other because he was in a completely different country. And we only Skyped each other once a week--if that. The longer he was gone, the harder it got. I missed him so much.

I tried to busy myself with work so I could have mind focused on something else. I also had harder classes for the spring semester. So homework took up a lot of my free time. All the stress took its toll after a while. In February I had another night terror. I didn’t even recall what it was about, only that I’d woken up shaking in fear, bawling my eyes out, and shrieking at the top of my lungs.

It had scared the shit out of Ely. He had been panicking, trying to do anything to soothe me and calm me down. After a couple minutes, Anton had coming running into the room because I’d woken him up as well. He had been extremely disoriented, but both him and Ely managed to quiet me down eventually.

Ely told Gunner the next day. That had only made me angry. I didn’t want to be treated like some incapable child. They were all worried about me--Ely, Gunner, Anton, and even Skylar. I didn’t care what they said, though, I needed to be busy. Because without it, I’d only sit and be miserable about not having Nialler around anymore.

It was also back in February when I had finally come out to my parents. They were okay with it, which I knew they would be. I knew they always suspected something with the way Nialler and I had been with each other. They were the most surprised that I had Ely.

Despite how amazing confident he always was, he had actually been nervous to meet my parents. I supposed it hadn’t helped that he had to meet Nialler’s parents too. But the night had gone fantastic. Gunner was there to help with the awkwardness which was a major relief.

That night was the happiest I had been since Nialler had left for England. And that was all because how well the parents had taken to my boyfriend. Even Nialler’s parents adored him. It definitely lifted my spirits to know that they all approved of my relationship and sexuality.

March 28th was mine and Ely’s six month anniversary. It was one night that I had finally been able to relax after three weeks straight of working on a photography portfolio for one of my classes. From the second it was assigned until I turned it in, it felt like all I had done was live and breathe photography. It was rough work, but it was so worth it. I ended up getting a perfect score on it--higher than anybody else in my class.

To celebrate, Ely took me out to see a broadway production of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast at the Pantages Theatre. It had been phenomenal, I enjoyed every moment of it. Before the show, we had gone out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. And afterwards, we went to get boba tea and crepes in Koreatown. Needless to say, the night was spectacular.

I didn’t think I’d ever love anyone more than I loved Ely. He was there for me through everything. He gave me everything I needed--the emotional and the physical stuff. He knew me inside and out and understood me completely and vice versa. We cared for each other deeply and did everything we could to make each other happy. It was my dream relationship and more than I could have ever expected.

April was a long and dreadful month. The reason: Anton’s new girlfriend. She was cute and nice and everything with everybody around. Then as soon as it was just me and her, she turned into a raging bitch. Her name was Carla and went to school with the boys.

I had no idea what her deal was, but she just didn’t like me. She mocked me and made fun of me. She called me some of the worst names--things I knew Ely would throw a fit about if he had found out. I never told anyone, though, because I didn’t want to break up another couple. It wasn’t my business if Anton really liked her.

Luckily, though, Anton walked into the room one day while she was in the middle of this huge rant.

“You are just so freaking stupid, Caspar,” she had been saying. “I don’t even understand why Ely likes you. You’re one of the biggest, most ridiculous faggots I have ever met. I mean, your clothes, your hair, your ugly as hell face. Even your name has gay fag written all over it. Don’t hang out with Anton and me anymore. We don’t like you!”

I hadn’t been believing a word she said to me. It was boring and after three weeks of it, I was pretty numb to her pointless words. Being with Ely had given me so much self-confidence. So I didn’t take anything she said to me to heart.

Anton flipped out on her once he heard those things, though. He yelled at her despite her pleas and my reassurance that I didn’t mind. He had turned to me and told me to shut up before continuing to yell at his girlfriend.

“Don’t you dare ever say those kinds of things to him again,” he had seethed. “Caspar is an amazing person. He doesn’t deserve having those things said about him. You’re just an evil little bitch. I can’t believe I thought you were nice. If Ely hears about this, I doubt he would hesitate to hit you. We’re over, now get out of my house.”

At the time, I couldn’t help but feel a little bad. Even though it wasn’t really my fault. I felt more awful that Anton kept finding such crappy girls. I kind of wished he’d just find somebody normal, nice, and honest. I found someone like that. How hard was it going to be for him?

I think the funniest thing out of that whole situation was that Ely had heard about Carly and all her abuse she threw at me. And just like his twin had said, he did hit her. It wasn’t like he beat the life out of her or even punched her in the face. They had just gotten into a very heated fight after school and he slapped her. Of course she slapped him back.

Then they both got suspended for a week for fighting on school property. They were both eighteen and they got fines for disorderly conduct. And since they were both so stubborn, they both pressed charges against one another. That nearly ended in a mutual restraining order, but since they go to the same school they were talked out of that.

Carly and Ely had to pay three hundred dollars each for their fine. They also had to serve thirty hours of community service. They got to choose between a few different options. I was kind of happy that Ely chose to work in an animal shelter. To be supportive, I went with and volunteered a couple times when I wasn’t too busy. Anton tagged along once or twice, as well.

May was a decent month. I was a bit less depressed because it was practically the summer. Ely’s graduation was looming and so was the return of my best friend. I had plenty to look forward to. Finals were a pain but they were over after the first week in the month and then I got to relax more often.

The panic attacks slowed down and I just felt genuinely less stressed and more happy. I spent a lot of time with Anton while Ely was at the shelter. I learned that Anton was an amazing cook. He taught me how to make a lot of things including some of my boyfriend’s favourite meals. Everybody appreciated that.

The boys’ graduation had been on the first of June. It was a saturday and the weather had been so nice. It was sunny and the wind was blowing just slightly, making the outdoors event even more pleasant. I sat in the crowd with Ely’s mom on one side of me and Skylar and her still-steady boyfriend Callum on my other side. Gunner had gone as well, sitting at Callum’s side.

After the ceremony had finished, we took pictures for about a half hour. Then Ely and Anton had changed out of their cap and gowns before their mom took everybody out to dinner. The best moment was when she had stood before we got our food and made this super cute little speech about how proud she was of her sons.

What really surprised us all was one of her presents for the boys. It was money for the three of us to travel abroad this summer. And let me tell you, I was shocked to near-tears. I couldn’t believe she included me like that and it had made me feel so incredibly happy.

The next day, we--Skylar included--had gotten up early so we could fly out to Vermont to visit their dad and stepmom. The trip had been almost ten hours long. We spent a vast majority of the plane ride--when we weren’t napping--making plans and talking about where we wanted to go this summer. Those kids were absolutely spoiled--but not in a bad way, in my opinion. They were just lucky. Their mom had so much money that the amount she’d given each Ely and Anton was enough to take the three of us to a couple different places if we wanted.

We were planning on traveling as cheaply as we could that way we could get the most out of our budget. I was beyond ecstatic when they suggested we go to South Africa. Just knowing that they’d do that for me was heartwarming. And when I had insisted that we didn’t need to do that, they wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was immensely grateful.

After a long discussion--and research using the airplane’s wifi--we decided that we would spend four days in South Africa visiting my family and checking out Johannesburg. Then we would fly out of the country to Morocco because Anton wanted to spend a couple days in Casablanca, shopping and lounging on the beach. After that we would fly to Mallorca, Spain and spend five days at a resort in Magaluf. We were all looking forward to Spain the most.

I suggested that we head to France after. The boys liked the sound of that and even Skylar approved. So we figured we would stay there for four more days before we’d go off to Switzerland for three days. Lastly, we would go to London for a little while before we finally left to go back home.

By the time our flight landed in Vermont, all of us were buzzing from the exciting plans we had made. Even Skylar had been really happy for us. I partly wished she was going with, but she’d gotten her own trip like that when she’d graduated was what she had said. I still told her that she should at least try to fly out and stay with us while we were in Magaluf. She didn’t say yes, but I could tell that she had been considering it.

So once we got to the airport in Rutland, Ely’s stepmom, Karen, picked us up. She was a tiny woman with a bright and bubbly personality. Karen was very kind and it was nice to see that her step children all seemed to like her. I had only known her for ten minutes before I decided I loved her.

Karen had left Brennett at home with a babysitter while she went to pick us up. She had informed us that her husband was on a business trip in Manhattan and that he’d be back the next day.

It only took about a half hour to get to their house that was in the next town over, Castleton. It was a small town, but it seemed like a nice and quiet place to raise a family. Karen and Greg’s house was on the lake and it was such a beautiful home. It was so clean and well put together that it made me almost proud of Karen. Especially since it seemed like her husband wasn’t around that much.

Brennet honestly was more adorable than Ely had described her. She’d run around the house on her tiny little baby legs. It had brought a huge smile to my face. The sound of her laughter was like music to my ears. She also had a field day with the four of us there, so many people to fawn over her and play with.

Brennett babbled like all babies do, but I was pleasantly surprised by how well she could say certain things. Like ‘what’s over there?’ and ‘love you’ or to tell us what her name was. Spending time with her was so refreshing because her life was just barely beginning to blossom. She practically a blessing.

We had spent our first full day there outside and down by the lake. The four of us worked on keeping Brennett happy and occupied while Karen attempted to get the house ready for the party the next day. She sent Anton and Skylar to go pick their dad up from the airport in the late afternoon. Once they had gotten back, Karen fixed a delightful dinner for everyone. Anton and I helped her cook, which was a laugh and tons of fun for me.

Greg was an okay guy. He greeted me pleasantly when Ely first introduced us. I’d been a little nervous, just having no idea what he would think about me. But Greg was also a busy man. He seemed like type who let his work get ahead of his family. I thought that was a bit of a shame since his daughter was so precious and Karen tried so hard to keep a wonderful home for him. I just hoped that they stayed together and happy for a long time.

At the party, practically Karen’s entire family was there. I felt awkward because of mine and Ely’s relationship. Not very many people talked to me. It kind of felt like they were ignoring me. I tried not to think too much of it. Even if it was because I was gay, it wasn’t a big deal. Ely’s siblings were supportive and he was by my side the entire time, holding my hand and kissing me sweetly on the cheek whenever he noticed me starting to get anxious.

The day had gone by smoothly enough and I was a little relieved once it was finally over. I had much rather preferred playing games and entertaining Brennett. I loved having her as company, she was so cute. The next day we’d spent hours tidying the house before Greg and Karen took everyone out on the lake for a boat ride. In the evening we had gone out to dinner in Rutland before calling it a night.

Then for our last day visiting Karen and Greg, Anton and I made everybody a huge breakfast in the morning. In the afternoon, we said our goodbyes to Brennett and Karen before Greg drove us back to the airport to catch our flight back to California.