“Would you quit staring out of the window and come lay down?” Ely asked.

I could tell he was a little frustrated. I couldn’t blame him, though, I was just as irritated as he was. I was having such awful mood swings lately. Plus, the amount of panic attacks I’ve been having over the last two weeks was unbelievable. I lost count after the fourth one. Luckily, there haven’t been any nightmares yet. I was crossing my fingers that that wouldn’t happen while I was over here.

I huffed and uncrossed my arms. It was already dark outside and it was only seven p.m. It was Halloween and I was supposed to be enjoying myself. But the events of the last couple months have been eating me up. I’ve been slowly going insane and I knew it was getting to Ely as well. He was worried about me, and he never failed to tell me so.

Ever since Nialler and I talked in the kitchen the day our brothers arrived, I thought things would get better. Instead, I’ve been walking on eggshells. I think I was just being too paranoid because I was scared of ruining our newly-fixed friendship.

Nialler was busy with work and his art all the time. Mick and Gunner would do nothing but fight whenever I saw them. So after the first three days of them staying at my apartment, I had called it quits. I was not going to stay there with all the racket they were making. I was sleep deprived, emotional as hell, and I had tons of work of my own to do. So I took Ely up on his offer to stay with him.

On the nights when Ely and Anton’s mom was actually home, I just stayed over at Skylar’s. She really was a lot of fun. I never had much time to realize it before, but she was kind of like one of the guys. She loved video games and food just as much as her brothers. Living with her was pretty great. Even if it was only for a few nights.

“I’m serious,” Ely said sternly. “Get over here.”

I sighed and slowly backed away from the windowsill. I saw Ely laying on his bed in the center of his room, propped up by his elbows. He looked so hot just like always. He didn’t even have to do anything to look good, he just did. He was amazing and perfect and more than I could ever ask for.

I sat down on the edge of his bed. Within a second, he gently grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. I laid my head on his chest and curled up against his side, draping an arm over his torso.

“What’s wrong now?” Ely asked.

I shook my head a little. “I don’t know. I’m just kind of upset. I can’t think of a reason for it, I just am.”

Ely was silent for a moment as he thought about it. I let my eyes drift closed as he played with my hair. It was so soothing, I almost always fell asleep quickly when he did that.

“Is it about Nialler?”

I furrowed my brows and thought on it. “No. Not really. I mean, him and I are kind of alright now. He’s been nice--well, nice to me when I’ve actually been around. I just hate being in that apartment now. Gunner is driving me nuts. I can’t seem to understand how he and Mick can hate each other that much.”

Ely chuckled. “I don’t know, maybe they’re just jealous of each other.”

I scoffed. “Right.”

“You know, I’m still pretty surprised that Nialler apologized to you. I always thought he was too stubborn for that.”

“Trust me, he is. But we both knew we couldn’t keep up with how things were,” I said. “It was hurting both of us too much. Maybe he can move on now.”

“Is he still with Harriet?”

“From what Gunner’s told me, I’d say yes.”

Ely sighed quietly. “And are you alright with that?”

I nodded. “Of course.” I picked up my head and looked at my boyfriend. “I don’t need him anymore. Not like I need you. I’ve told you time and time again how there’s just something about you that’s better than him. I don’t know what it is, but that connection is there. So don’t get jealous. I only want you, and he’s just my best friend.”

Ely dipped his head down and planted a kiss on my lips. “Okay, I trust you.”

I laid my head back on his chest and took in a deep, content breath. Ely started up again playing with my hair and I tangled my legs with his. I couldn’t get enough of being close to him.

“So what are we doing tonight?” I asked.

“Mmm,” Ely mumbled happily. “We’re just going to have a nice and cozy Halloween. Anton is newly single as of a few days ago, so he doesn’t want to go out and party.”

“Poor kid,” I said, frowning.

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Ely said. “He might kick you out.”

I laughed. “Fine, fine. Are we watching scary movies downstairs, then?”

Ely nodded, I could feel the movement. “Yeah, I told Anton that he could order us some Chinese takeout. I know how you love Chinese food.”

“Everybody does. It’s like a crime not to.”

“Whatever,” Ely said, sitting up and pushing me off of him. “Let’s go get him and then we can set up.”

I agreed and grabbed his hand. We walked out of the room and headed towards Anton’s door. Ely lifted his hand and knocked firmly. There was a loud bark and I jumped. Ely smirked and I smacked him on the arm.

“I just forget that Ritsar exists sometimes. He and Anton hardly leave their room,” I muttered.

The door opened, revealing a messy-haired Anton. Ritsar, unsurprisingly, was standing just at his side, attentively as always. Anton patted his best friend on his head and they walked out into the hall.

“Ready for a night of fun on the couch?” Anton asked sarcastically.

“Oh shut up,” Ely scolded. “If you can’t play nice, you and your mutt can find another couple to hang out with.”

Ritsar growled and Anton laughed as they walked down the stairs. I heard Anton praise the dog. I smiled while Ely stuck his tongue out as we followed after them.

“Remind me to never take him for a walk again.”

“I heard that!” Anton yelled up at us as we descended the stairs.

I nudged Ely and laughed. When we got into the living room, Ely began to rifle through the movies. I followed Anton into the kitchen. He opened up the fridge and tossed me a bottle of water before grabbing one for himself.

“So how are you doing?” I asked when he turned to look at me.

Anton sent me a glare. “Don’t. I do not want to talk about it. Girls are evil bitches.”

I smiled. “You should just date a guy then. I’ve learned it’s so much better.”

Anton chuckled. “Maybe, but it’s not any easier. You know that.”

I scowled as he walked away. “Idiot.”

Anton and I plopped onto the couch. Ely was sitting on the floor in front of the case of movies. Ritsar kept getting in his face. It was pissing Ely off but making the two of us watching laugh.

“Anton, you either call him over to you or I’m not picking a movie,” Ely growled after a few minutes.

Anton laughed and whistled once. Ritsar bounded over to us and settled at our feet. “There.”

“Thank you!” Ely grabbed a couple movies and finally put one in. “I went with a classic for the first one. Halloween.”

“Fine,” Anton said. “Just shut the lights off and sit down.”

Ely did as he asked and then plopped down next to me. He threw his arm over my shoulders and I cuddled up next to him.

“Hey, did you order the food?” Ely asked his twin while the opening credits were playing.

“Yeah,” Anton nodded. He checked the time on his phone. “Should be here any minute.”

Then my phone started ringing. Ely sighed and paused the movie. I grinned sheepishly and pulled out my cell to answer it.

“What do you want, Gun?”

“What are you doing tonight?”

I sighed. “I’m with my boyfriend.”

“That one Ely kid, right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, why?”

“Can I hang out with you guys tonight?”

“No,” I said.

“Awh come on!”

“Don’t you have your own friends? Leave me alone.”

“No I do not, thank you very much for rubbing it in,” Gunner said sarcastically.

“You’re such a liar. Why don’t you go out or something? You’re popular, you can figure something else out.”

“No, I can’t stand parties. You know that. So can I please come over?” Gunner begged.

“Just let him,” Ely said, interrupting me before I could say no once more. The doorbell rang and Anton jumped up to go get the food. “He won’t be ruining anything.”

“Ugh! Fine,” I said. “I’ll text you the address. But stop somewhere and pick up your own food!”

I hung up after hearing my brother whooping like an idiot. I sent him Ely’s address and tucked my phone away. Anton returned a little while later with the food and dishes.

We decided to not start the movie until my brother showed up. So for the next twenty minutes we just sat around, eating and talking. Then the doorbell went off again. Anton got up to go answer it and let my brother in.

A minute later, not two, but three, people walked into the living room. I was completely shocked. Gunner was here and he’d brought Mick with him. I thought they hated each other. I did not approve. I jumped to my feet and grabbed Gunner by his wrist and carted him off to the kitchen. Everyone else was silent in the living room. I’m sure they were all confused as to what was happening.

“Jesus, what’s your problem now?” Gunner grumbled as he rubbed his wrist.

I smacked him on the shoulder. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going to watch movies and eat fast food on Halloween with some friends. Duh!”

I narrowed my eyes. “Mick is not your friend. Why on Earth did you bring him here?”

Gunner huffed. “Just relax. We won’t fight tonight, I promise.”

“Since when are you two friends?” I asked warily.

“I don’t know,” he said. “But it’s fine. Can we go back into the other room now?”

He started to walk away but I pulled him back again. “No! Gun, Nialler can’t know about Ely and me. He can’t.”

Gunner shook his head. “It’s fine, Casp. I told Mick that the only way he could come with me tonight is if he promised not to tell.”

“And you trust him?” I asked. “I don’t.”

“Whatever. I trust him. He knows he better not piss me off anyway. Now settle down. I’m hungry.”

I glared after my brother as he went back to the others. Something was off. I didn’t understand what was happening. I couldn’t risk pissing off Nialler again. I would tell him about Ely when I was ready. I didn’t want his obnoxious little brother to go spilling my secret so early.

Luckily for me, our parents would all be back from their trip tomorrow. Then Gunner would go home and Mick would go back to school. Hopefully he’ll keep his mouth shut.

I swallowed my uneasiness and went back into the living room. I sat down next to Ely and he put an arm around my waist. Anton started the movie up and we sank into silence. I threw a look over at my brother. It was weird to see him sitting on a loveseat with Mick--his enemy for the last three years.

“You okay?” Ely whispered in my ear.

I nodded my head and kissed him on his cheek. “I will be.”

****************

Once the boys finally vacated my apartment, I felt like I could actually go back there. At least I wouldn’t have to listen to stupid teenage boys arguing over dumb things. Even with them gone, though, I still hadn’t been home over the weekend. I’d gotten caught up with Skylar. She’d insisted that Ely and I tag along for a double date with her and Callum.

I hadn’t really been expecting Skylar to like Callum at all. He was kind of immature. But then again, she seemed to go for goofy guys like him. It seemed to me like she got along with him much better than she did with me. At least, romantically. We were never meant to be like that. Now, she was dating one of my closest friends. Skylar looked happy with him and I thought they made a cute couple.

I flipped the channel over on the television. Commercials were so annoying. I settled on the music video channel just as the door opened. I turned my head to see Nialler walking into the apartment.

I smiled a little. “Hey there.”

Nialler glanced at me, surprise on his face. “Oh, hey...stranger.”

I let out a breath and looked back at the screen. Nialler walked closer to me. He stopped a few feet away and stared at the television with me for a minute. He never said anything and I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I didn’t really have anything to say anyway.

I saw Nialler look at the ground and rub the back of his neck with his hand. “Can we talk?”

I pressed mute on the remote and moved over on the couch. “Sure, sit down.” Nialler took the open seat next to me. “What’s going on?”

He cleared his throat nervously. “What have you been up to lately?”

I shrugged. “Not a whole lot. Working, school.”

Nialler looked me in the eyes. “I’m not going to lie,” he said. “I’m worried about you.”

I smirked. “What, why?”

“Casp, I haven’t really seen you much these last three weeks.”

I looked down at my hands. “And?”

“Come on,” he said. “Are you still mad at me? I told you how sorry I am about everything.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I know. It’s fine. I’m over it.”

“Then why don’t you come around much anymore?” he asked, frustrated by now.

“I got busy.”

Nialler looked like he was going to say something, but then he shut his mouth. Then he said quietly, “I miss you.”

My stomach tightened. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like I don’t care.”

“No, it’s okay,” Nialler said.

I sighed quietly. “So how have you been?”

“Pretty good. Things at work have been kind of great. I love the gallery.”

I smiled at how much admiration filled his voice. “I know you do.”

“School’s been terrible lately, though.”

“That’s crazy. Your art classes?” I asked.

“They’re hard. But I’m doing alright in them. It’s the classes like math that get me. Exams suck. I think I might have failed a midterm.”

I furrowed my brows. “I know what you mean. Midterms were pretty bad for me too. Things have just been crazy. It’s like I don’t have time for anything anymore. And...I miss you too.”

“Where have you been staying?”

I almost let Ely’s name slip right away. But I caught myself in time. “Skylar’s. She lives closer to the studio.” That wasn’t a complete lie. It was half of the truth. “She’s been pretty great.”

“It’s not awkward?”

I shook my head. “Not at all. She understands. Besides, I hooked her up with Callum about two weeks ago.”

Nialler raised his eyebrows. “No shit? That’s pretty cool of you. Are they dating now?”

“Yeah, I think so. They look good together.”

There was a short silence. “Your birthday is coming up.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Two more days. Can’t wait to be nineteen!”

“And Gunner turns eighteen.”

I waved him off. “Oh no one cares about him.”

Nialler laughed. “Are you two fighting again? What now?”

“No, we’re fine,” I lied. I was still a little ticked off about him bringing Mick to Ely’s. But I was almost over it because it hadn’t turned out bad at all. “We’re having the usual party at my parents’ house. You’re gonna be there, right?”

Nialler nodded. “As if I wouldn’t. I always am, aren’t I?”

I shrugged. “I just wasn’t sure.”

Nialler let out a deep breath. “I’m sick of this crap, Caspar.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused by his sudden change in mood.

“This is weird,” he said loudly, gesturing at the pair of us. “We’re talking as if it’s a chore. We’re supposed to be best friends and it just feels awkward.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Stop. You’re making it worse.”

“Well you fucking cheated on me,” I said. “You’re kind of an asshole. I love you and all, but it’s a pretty sore subject.”

“I know, I know. And I want you to forgive me. It’s just you keep saying you have and then I can tell that it’s not true. Just tell me what to do.”

I shook my head. “Nothing. All I need is time.”

Nialler looked skeptical. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m positive.”

“Is there something you need to tell me?”

I whipped my head around. “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know. You just seem like you’ve got a secret.”

“Well I don’t,” I said sharply.

“You’d tell me if something was really wrong with you, wouldn’t you?”

I nodded adamantly. “I would.”

“Okay, good.”

“Are you still with Harriet?” I asked without thinking. As soon as the words slipped out, I wanted to smack myself.

“Uhm,” Nialler said. He rubbed his neck again. God, I was so stupid. “Yeah, kind of.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ask that.”

“No, it’s alright. You kind of have a right. I mean, I did cheat on you with her. It’s a valid question.”

I nodded. I didn’t want to care, but even through everything, it did still sort of hurt that he stayed with her. That same lie was still going on even if I wasn’t with him anymore. It was kind of like the ultimate insult to me.

“I’m working on breaking up with her,” he said after a bit. “Not that it’s much of a consolation. Just thought I’d let you know. It’s a little hard, though. She’s pretty attached.”

“Well you have been super faithful to her for the last two months,” I quipped.

“Look, I know you don’t like her, but it’s not her fault. You should be nicer to her.”

I glared at him. “Whatever, I don’t have to like her if I don’t want to. If anything, it’s your own fault. If you’d broken up with her right from the start, everything would be fine.”

“Fine,” Nialler said angrily.

“Great.” I got to my feet and headed towards my shoes by the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Out. I’ll see you on my birthday.”

“Are you not going to come back tonight?” he asked warily.

I forced myself not to look at him. I was mad at him, I didn’t want to feel sorry for him.

“No,” I said right before walking out and slamming the door.