Orsertro opened his eyes, but his mind still wasn't there. After a particularly deep meditation, it always took a short time before he was aware of the world around him again. Slowly, he realised that he was kneeling on the hard tiles in the Chapel of the Inner Self. At around the same time, he knew that there was someone standing behind him, watching him.

"You wanted to see me?" he whispered slowly. It would have been easy enough to sense who was there, to feel the colour of the energy emanating from their ancestral spirit, but that was something he hadn't done since constructing the city. It was a very human thing, something he had never even thought of for a thousand incarnations previously. But somehow in a human body, it seemed only polite to let someone introduce themselves rather than simply knowing.

"Yes, very much." The voice was breathy, and feminine when not filtered through a magical amplifier. One of the Lords had decided in the first generation that each suit of armour would modulate the user's voice, so that they would always sound the same to the mortals despite being reborn with a different physique or from a different tribe. It gave a sense of continuity, as Belmadir was so fond of saying. But in one or two cases, it made it more difficult to see the other Lords as people, behind the disguise of their public voices.

"I'm sorry, L–"

"Please," she interrupted quickly, "If you intended to say my full title, then I would regret it. I cannot interact with the mortals without diamond armour between us, and must speak with a voice designed to impress and terrify the mortals, and remind the demons who I truly am. I can't leave that persona behind. I come to speak with you now not as my position, as my role in this society, but as a woman. So please, if you must address me, use only my name. And may I use yours, as if we were friends despite the strictures of politics and responsibility?"

"Friends? Of course, L–" this time, Orsertro cut himself off. One of the others had previously raised a complaint about the frivolous use of 'Lady' as an informal title for a Lord who had been born female. Of course it was improper; playing down the terrible authority they were charged with. But in these circumstances, even that half-joking title was more formality than she wanted.

"Ammadrine," he finished, "And thank you. It is a beautiful name, and not often enough spoken. You can, of course, call me whatever you wish."

"Thank you," there was a smile in her voice, a joy he'd hardly heard since they came to this world. Through all of their first human reincarnation, he couldn't remember ever seeing her so happy. "Thank you, Orsertro. I hope that you will always be able to think of me as a... friend."

"Of course. You are the kindest, and the strongest person I know. We have to be strong in front of the humans, I know that, but there's no reason to hide your feelings from other members of the Council. Friendship is a powerful bond, after all, and secrets could weaken our trust. I know that Cyradin Belmadir wants us all to keep any human emotion to ourselves, but..."

"I think he wants me not to feel anything at all. He says that to express an emotion could weaken my connection to the rings of destiny, and weaken my powers. He urges me to be a mind of pure calculation, a servant without heart to perform my duty like a machine."

"He's said similar things to me," Orsertro admitted, "We're all supposed to be perfect."

"I think a human can exhibit a greater perfection when they let their heart show. Could the same be true for us? You are stronger protecting the ones you care about, I've seen that. A Knight is not a machine for war, he should be a loving shepherd, and that is what I saw when I watched you helping the people of the ice flats to safety. You were majestic, commanding, but also caring and beautiful."

"One might think that your feelings extend beyond friendship," Orsertro tried to make it a joke. But he had been human only two lifetimes and a handful of years, and was still not entirely sure he understood the range of emotions that these new bodies were bundled with. He regretted the words immediately, hoping that he hadn't offended Amma.

"They might," she nodded, and he could feel the movement through her hand, even when he didn't turn around. "That's why I wear my armour even around the palace. Because there are some things that could create too large a rift within the Council. I believe one of the others harbours certain feelings towards me, and is even more vocal in condemning human emotion because of it. We can't allow conflicts within the Council, that much I am sure of."

"If you told him that you shared those feelings, that might allow you to trust each other more completely," Orsertro pondered, "Might make it easier for you to use each other's powers when you were close. But the others might feel their bonds were of less importance, and could be offended."

"I could never tell him that," she whispered, picking her words carefully. "I will not lie. But I worry that one of the men I trust most would be unable to deal with the swell of emotion if I told him outright that I have no such thoughts, and cannot imagine that kind of relationship. And so he creates a situation where I can never turn him down, where all emotion is forbidden within the eight immortals. And so he can imagine that it is only his law that prohibits my expression of love towards him. He can hold an impossible hope, and never see it shattered."

Orsertro didn't answer right away, but knelt in contemplation. Amma could only mean one of the brothers, Belmadir and Belnichraithor. They were the ones who insisted that the council be emotionless, impartial judges of the affairs of their mortal subjects. Madir claimed it was because human emotions might taint their spirits, and make it harder to access their ancestral powers and memories from the days before they were human. Nico thought that it was necessary in order to convince the humans across the world that their rule was fair and just; that there could be no nepotism while the rulers had no romance, no family, and no offspring. Either of them could be lying about their motivation for the puritanical rules.

"Stand, Orsertro," Amma spoke in a lighter voice again, reminiscent of cherry blossoms blowing on the breeze within her private gardens. "You have been kneeling so long after your meditation, and I suspect it is becoming uncomfortable."

"You don't like to see me on my knees?" That was a joke as well, he was sure, but one he wasn't quite sure he even understood. He felt that part of the meaning came from some corner of his brain that processed uniquely human thoughts.

"I would like to take a walk together, if it pleases you. This is no demand, but it would please me. If we could walk the corridors of the great city as two individuals, rather than in conjunction with our stations or some duties thereof."

"That would please me greatly," Orsertro smiled as he rose, and then took in a sharp breath as he saw Ammadrine's robes. She wasn't wearing her armour, he'd gathered that much from the gentle touch of her hand, and the voice not filtered by enchantments that concealed any trace of accent or emotion. He'd thought she might be in one of the many variants of ceremonial robes she wore for different official occasions, but she had meant it when she said she wanted to walk as two people. She was wearing simple white robes that hung around her like gossamer, white with just the most delicate pink and gold highlights. She could have passed for a priestess, or a wealthy human enjoying the air, to anyone who didn't know her face. There wasn't a single ruby or cyralline about her person to indicate the colour of her spirit. And when he saw that, Orsertro looked down at his own prayer robes; simple white cotton, with a pink fringe to indicate his rank.

When he moved his crystal belt to a pocket, anyone who wasn't familiar with their faces would have no idea that they numbered among the ruling council. They could be just two humans. And the more he thought about it, the more he realised that they were teaching all the mortal humans to bow to the belt, or to the armour, or to the codex piece. Even the generals and engineers he worked with on a daily basis might not know his face because they so rarely saw it. That was useful, given that he might have completely different skin and eyes when he next reincarnated, but it was also strange that two people so important could so easily achieve anonymity.

He looked up at Ammadrine again, and wondered if he would have recognised her himself, or whether the lack of rubies would have convinced him it was just someone with similar bone structure.

But there was something there that wouldn't be so easily hidden. A kind of radiance, a joy to live, that he could never imagine anyone else possessing. She was beautiful, in a way that had nothing to do with a million years training in grace and poise.

"Has anyone–" he started, and checked himself again.

"You can say it," she grinned, and took his hand. He walked alongside her down crystal hallways, and he couldn't keep himself from smiling. "I don't like that we must censor ourselves, and keep secrets. Not when we are still expected to have the greatest trust for one another."

"Has anyone ever told you that you are beautiful?"

"Daily," she grinned, and Orsertro realised his mistake. But he was more surprised to find that he didn't really care. "They all say it, every mortal who has a request of me. I'm sure you have something similar. But I think this is the second time I have heard those words from someone who has seen me unmasked. From someone who has really seen me rather than the symbolism they project onto me. Do you mean it?"

He couldn't bring himself to say it again. His eyes went down to his hands, but he could still see the breeze, and the gentle movements of her feet beyond a dozen layers of drifting gossamer fabric as they proceeded down the path. A few steps later he stopped, and Ammadrine came to a halt beside him.

When her hand rose to his chin, Orsertro felt sparks crackle between their skin. He couldn't be sure if that was just a part of her power, a sign of the emotions she was struggling to deny, or something entirely in his mind.

"I'm not some totem," she whispered again, forcing him to lean closer to answer, "I'm not a doll for the Council to pose after a committee decision, only able to do and say the things that are deemed acceptable. I am a human being, even if I have an ancestral soul. For all the other things I am, I'm still..." her voice rose just a little, and once the dam was opened tears started to stream down her face.

"You're a woman," he agreed, "And you have feelings. And I'm sorry if we ever forgot that. I have feelings too, and maybe I haven't hidden them as much as some on the Council would like. But I don't intend to pretend I'm an emotionless mannequin. So if you want to talk, if you want someone who will listen without judging..."

"I say I'm a woman," she choked in the sobs, "But really I think the word is 'girl'. I'm not allowed to feel emotions, I'm forbidden from ever acknowledging attraction, let alone acting on it. In the ways of the world, we must always remain children. These rules tell me that I may choke a man, or tear out his heart with my bare hands..." Orsertro could feel her shiver at the memories conjured by those words. The tip of one finger touched his lip, and he took a breath in surprise.

"I can do so many things, the humans think I can do anything, but in two hundred years I have never felt a kiss, or truly told someone how I feel. Am I being too selfish, that I want to..."

Orsertro clasped her hand between his, and met her eyes again. "I think that even confessing that you have thought such things must be more terrifying than fighting a demon. And for all the things you have done, I think everyone you have spoken to loves you more than they know themselves. I can't offer the guidance of a more experienced man, because I'm still a child in the ways of humanity. But I am sure nobody could reject you. You are the most radiant, caring, wise, and honest person I have ever met. And I am sure that if you were to say those words, there is no man who would even think of..."

He knew he was babbling, but he couldn't stop without making it clear that he wasn't disapproving of Ammadrine's thoughts and feelings in any way, or putting her down for experiencing emotion, or expressing any kind of improper desire. He wanted to do anything he could to help her to be as happy as the mortals for whom they had created the Pangean Empire, but he couldn't find a way to say that while being safe from misinterpretation in one way or another. But it was only a second before Ammadrine silenced him. No words this time, perhaps she was struggling just as much to find the right ones. But she answered his worries with a single wave of her hand that seemed to make everything clear, and he was sure that he would never again have to worry about Ammadrine misunderstanding him.

He didn't even think about how that kiss might make Madir or Nico feel.