Part 42. Fractured Understanding

Jack drummed spectral fingers on an imagined desk as he waited. He didn't like this situation at all, but there wasn't much he could do. Arnie had appeared for just long enough to let them know something was wrong, and to hear Violet and Alex's attempt at explaining. Then Violet had said that Amber was back in her body, everything was okay. But the three living members hadn't come back, and all Violet would tell him was that they had problems of their own. Jack didn't like being out of the loop, especially not after ninety years of being able to feel the flows of spirit energy across the whole world. He didn't like there being important things that couldn't be felt from this room.


Violet was more patient. She was playing some kind of game with stone counters, that Jack didn't have the patience to learn. It was something she'd picked up from Amber when they were supposed to be exchanging tips on recovering memories of a past life, and probably one of the least useful parts of the increased communication between life and death over the last few weeks. At least, according to Jack.


Alex wasn't frustrated either. She was looking through her books again, certain that if she just searched hard enough, she would find some information about the monsters they were now facing. It hadn't helped so far, but every time she was sure that just a little more research would be the key to a world of knowledge.


Finally, Mel appeared.


"Well?" Jack snapped. "What kept you?"


"Arguments, mostly."


"With who?"


"With whom?" Alex corrected, "And don't let my insistence on proper grammar lead you to believe I'm any less concerned about your answer."


"I can't meet up with Amber again. At least for now. Her mother is extremely disturbed by you two hefting weapons around, and has decreed that Amber will have nothing to do with us for the near future."


"That's insane! Did you tell her that–"


"I told her as much as I could, and she still wasn't having it. There's no way she'll believe everything isn't normal. I couldn't just pretend I'm not part of it, so I did what I could. I don't like it, but there's not much else we can do. Except take Amber out of school and away from her mom, and I think that would be even worse. It just means that for now, if we want to be around her, we'll have to coordinate in the dreams. It's not perfect, but it's the same as we had before the first monster, right?"


"I suppose we should be used to working within restrictions imposed by the real world," Alex conceded, "And it's less of a restriction than it could have been. I would have rather kept everyone without an ancestral spirit in the dark. But once she knows something, it's best at least that she knows the truth. If she comes to understand what we're fighting against, maybe she will stop obstructing us. And until then, we know there isn't really anything she can do to stop us. I suppose that's what she is so desperate to prove, that she still has some measure of control over her own child."


Violet cleared her throat, and everyone paused for a moment. Jack was still simmering with anger, but he couldn't see any better way to handle the situation. There was nobody to blame here, so there was an uneasy silence while they waited to see who would join them next.


It turned out it was Amber's turn step into the dream. She seemed upset, a lot quieter than she'd been before. She tried not to think about what was going on in her home, and instead recounted the fragments she could remember from the dreams of her former life. It was frustrating to find, but she couldn't be sure about the memories she remembered having the memory of; those were still out of reach. But Orsertro's story told them more than they had ever speculated about their history, and Alex had plenty of questions about everything she heard. And everyone had their own ideas about where those memories might have come from. None of them argued the accuracy of the memories after Mel confirmed it, though Jack's eyes made it clear he was taking the whole thing with a pinch of salt.


"Is this all about magic?" Violet asked in the end. "Not magic like the Enemy's power, but magic like spiritual, mystical, mythical, some kind of power that doesn't add up with science? Or are all these abilities some kind of ancient technology that we don't understand? I mean, now two of us have remembered crystal computers that can channel and boost our abilities. Could that mean that all the powers we've got actually came from something that people invented thousands of years ago?"


"I don't think there's that much difference," Alex answered quickly, and then hesitated. Everyone could tell she'd been thinking about this herself, even if she didn't say it. "And though I don't think it's exactly relevant, I should point out that Amber's latest discovery doesn't give us any proof that our ancestral spirits are non-human."


"Mel said it was real..." Violet started, but realised the problem with that before she finished the sentence.


"Right. So we know that this Belmadir really told Orsertro those things. But that doesn't prove those things are true, or give any evidence to how long ago that conversation took place. And we also know that this Belmadir had – or claimed to have – technology capable of artificially transferring memories between bodies. If that's true, we have to be aware of the possibility that his device could edit or selectively transfer memories. That means that even when we recall having memories or knowing things, that doesn't necessarily mean the details are true. We have to trust our past selves, we have no choice in that. But we can't just assume that everything we remember is true. There has to be a little skepticism there, or we'll end up repeating whatever mistakes we made to get here."


"Right," Mel nodded, "And if we trust what that Amma guy said to me, then me and Madir messed up at some point. I assume that's short for Belmadir, the guy with the memory machine. We don't know if he's one of you guys, or someone else."


"Assuming we even take the word of a traitor. Ammadrine is the Enemy, right?"


"We don't know that for sure."


"No," Amber shook her head, "But I'm pretty sure that guy told me there were seven of us on this council. That means that we've got one missing. If the seventh one is the Enemy..."


"Amma betrayed us," Jack said firmly, "But then tried to make up for it. Maybe. That could have been another lie. He said Nico and Madir had done something, had messed things up and caused problems. Maybe trying to sow dissent, or maybe trying to make out like his betrayal wasn't a big deal. But it's easy enough to see he's the one who's gone down the wrong path."


"I don't think..." Amber started, but she didn't even know what she wasn't sure about. She needed to think more before she passed her thoughts on to the others.


"I know you?" she remembered what the guy with the red spirit had said when she met him. More of a question than a statement. He hadn't been sure. And that made all the difference.


"I think he's as confused as we are. We think the Enemy's like this great, evil force trying to take over the world, or kill us, or whatever. But what if he really doesn't know what he's doing? Maybe he only remembers us punishing him in the past, but not why? We have to try talking to him, put all of our pasts together, and see if we can at least know what the story is before we have to fight."


"He hurt the Princess," Alex shook her head, "That's unforgivable. The Princess was... I don't even know. But she protected the whole world, she could have kept all the demons from ever appearing, that's what I took away from all your memories. And something Amma did weakened the Immaculate Princess. So whether it's intentional or not, he's the source of these monsters. Do you think we should forgive that?"


"If he can put the genie back in the bottle?" Mel asked, "I hate saying this, but if there's a chance we can save lives, then forgiving the dark lord would be better than a war of attrition."


"I say no," Jack shook his head, "We can't forgive the Enemy. Not ever. But we're not voting, this is not a democracy. We serve the Princess, we do as She decides. And until we get her back, we're not in a position to fight anyway. We just do the best we can, deal with the monsters, and hope that we can find the Princess before he does."


"That's not incompatible with finding out the truth," Mel pointed out, "And letting the Princess decide will be easier if we can give her all the facts. If we know what's going on."


"No. We cannot let anyone endanger her resurrection, no matter their intentions. If that guy comes near us again, we will do everything in our power to stop him. If the Princess disagrees, she can take it up with his next incarnation. Do you understand me? I expect you all to toe the line on this one. Our duty is to protect the Princess, and to keep the Enemy from her. And that is not something we can question."


He stopped and shook his head, as if trying to clear away unwelcome thoughts. Amber thought it was the first time she'd seen him not in complete command of his appearance, even if the others disagreed with him.


"Jack," Violet whispered, "There's something there. Something touching your spirit. Like we jogged your memory. The... the backup computer is trying to connect to you."


"Right," Mel nodded, "It's a dream, an ancient memory. I don't know what's brought it up, but it's probably worth following it. More information is better, right?"


"Fine. But that doesn't mean it's worth letting the traitor live. You understand me? Nothing is worth putting the Princess in danger. If we haven't got Her, then no amount of knowledge will help us. Enemy means Enemy." Jack slammed his fist down on the stone table to underscore his last point. And then, eyes closing, he vanished.


"That's a little extreme," Mel muttered, nervous. "But maybe he has a point. We gave Ammadrine a second chance centuries ago, and it's likely that's what let him bring down our civilisation."


"What do you think he's seeing now?" Amber didn't even want to think about killing the weird guy in the half smart clothes. Even if he was the Enemy. "Jack, I mean. Will he understand more when he sees who he used to be? How much we all wanted this to work?"


"We can only guess."

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