I moaned as I saw our phone bill. This was madness! I knew long distance calls were expensive, but still...!

"Harm, have you seen this ridiculous bill?!" I asked her, one Wednesday morning.

"Ah know, right?" She moaned, pouring herself some tea on her favorite green mug "Don't even know how we spent that much. IAh mean, Ah called my mom a few times, but still..."

"Whatever." I sighed, folding the bill in half and placing it in my velvet taupe purse "Ah'll pay it... but we need to start making some cuts."

"Ah can pass without cable" She said, shrugging.

"Yeah, but you can't pass without your sane roommate." I groaned, and she chuckled "Are we still up for this afternoon?"

"Totally." She smiled, a glow in her eyes "Ah'm so excited! Although Ah feel guilty about having a shopping spree, if we can't even afford the phone bill..."

"Don't you dare stand me up!" I warned her, as I grabbed my keys by the door "Ah'll smother you while you sleep, if you do."

I took the bus to work at seven am. Nowadays, Ah had to wake up around five thirty, take a shower, dry my hair, get my make up on, and look fabulous and fresh for a new day.

Working for Mr. von Hauser was, in fact, madness. And torture. Over the past month, I had to take my seat in meeting after meeting, about booooooring money issues. I had to take care of his breakfast every morning, then lunch. I had to take his calls and take the messages. I kinda forgot some of them, though... I know he's thiiiiiiiiis close to fire me. This isn't working. Who was I kiddin'? I wasn't cut out to be someone's secretary! Especially not a spoiled, grumpy, self-centered ass like Julian von Hauser! I usually forget my schedule or even one of my earrings at home! How would I make myself remember his things?!

"Good morning, Rachel" I grunted at the receptionist in the fortieth floor.

"Huh... Georgia? I think you better wait here" She said, getting up from behind her counter.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her, frowning.

"Mr. Coleman is in there with Mr. Toledo" She said, with a whisper, covering the microphone from her headset.

"What?"

"Mr. Coleman and Mr. Toledo came about fifteen minutes ago, and just walked into Mr. von Hauser's office. I don't know what they're doing, but they looked very stern..." The blue eyed redhead told me, with a concerned look.

"And it's already ten to eight!" I moaned "Mr. von Hauser will be here in exactly ten minutes!"

"I think you better call him to warn him..." Rachel told me, taking her seat again "I'm sorry, Georgia. I couldn't stop them. Mr. Coleman would get me fired, and I just had a baby."

"It's not your fault, Rachel." I tried to smile "This is my job."

I was actually proud of myself for my behavior that day. In retrospect, I behaved like a true loyal secretary. But first things first! My outfit for the day only helped my mood! I had this vintage Bernard Perris dungarees, with soft black trousers and white sleeveless halter top. To match, I had an awesome vintage taupe Chanel pair of high peep-toe heels. My hair was wavy and free around my shoulders. And my head was already formulating my speech.

"Good morning, gentlemen."

The two men inside Mr. von Hauser's office stopped talking and going through some files, over Mr. von Hauser's desk, to look at me. Both frowned and straightened.

"Can Ah help you with something?" I asked, with a soft and polite smile on my face; still, I made sure my eyes were slightly squinting, so they knew I wasn't being nice.

"Good morning, Miss...?" Coleman von Hauser asked, his brown eyes squinting too, but this time in confusion.

"McAllister. Ah'm Mr. von Hauser's secretary." I said, one eyebrow up, while I looked around to the mess of files that were scattered over his desk "And Ah can assure you that my boss doesn't approve this sort of behavior. Even if you are his family."

"Miss McAllister, two things for you: first, stay to your place. Second, our business doesn't concern you." The other man, Toledo I guess, said; his brown eyes looking lazily at me, and then turning again to the files on the desk.

"Ah guess you must be a cop. And you have a warrant?" I asked, looking innocent, and they both frowned at me "'Cause, honestly, Ah can't think of any other reason for a Board member to come into his own nephew's office, and start plundering it."

They both stared at me, and then changed a look. After a few seconds, Mr. Coleman smiled politely and they both came from behind the desk. As they reached the door, Mr. Coleman stopped by my side, with the same... snake like smile.

"I didn't take Julian that smart: secretary and watchdog...!" He teased "Keep up the good work, Miss McAllister."

When they left, I let my breath go. Holy crap! I just confronted a big, wealthy and powerful businessman! If neither Mr. von Hauser confronted his own uncle, I could only imagine what he was capable of...!

"Never mind that..." I told myself, my hands to my waist, as I looked at the mess in the desk "Better put that away before he comes and has a stroke..."

I looked at the files' cabinet, and checked that he rearranged the files according to the date. And then, alphabetically. Jesus, that would take hours! Ok, first dates, then alphabet.

As I quickly put the light blue folders in their places, I thought to myself... What would I tell Mr. von Hauser when he came in? That his uncle and some guy named Toledo had been through his stuff? Should I tell him about the confrontation? I can't seem to imagine Mr. von Hauser stand up for himself. In the meetings, he usually kept quiet after his uncle made him look ridiculous. So no luck there...

"What are you doing?!"

I jumped in my place, let out a loud shrieked, and the files in my arms fell to the floor. I was gonna start to explain, but Mr. von Hauser walked inside the office like a train wreck. His eyes were wild, and his face palled.

"What da fuck do you think you're doing?!" He groaned, grabbing my arm and shoving me out of the way.

First of all, it hurt to be manhandled. My arm was still throbbing and his fingers would leave a mark. And second, he never cursed. Well, he did curse, that time after my first Board meeting. But never again. He was actually very polite in that way.

"Didn't I tell you to never touch my things?!" He yelled again, gathering the files on the floor, so fast it made my eyes hurt "I told you to never touch anything! Anything!"

"But, Mr. von Hauser..." I started, and he took his seat behind his desk, trying to reorder the files, with a crazy look on his face "Mr. von Hauser...?"

He was behind reasoning. Whatever place he was right now, wasn't the same office I was standing. Sighing, I left the office, setting up the tray with his breakfast, the perfect way he told me to do: the soy milk on the right, the roll in the center, bowl of fruit in the back. Grabbing the newspapers, I walked inside again, without saying a word, and placed it in his desk, in the far end, so his craziness for the files wouldn't mess it.

"Here's your breakfast and reading." I said, with the smoothest voice I could cope "Ah'll be making some calls. If you need anything..."

I left the office, and he was still trying to reset the files together.

Jesus... What a mess of a man! What da well was that with the files?! So they had fallen! Was that a big of a deal?! Just put them in order again, no need to be all pissy about it!

Of course I decided to wait before telling him about the invasion of his office. If I told him in the state he was in... who knows what he might do...?

He didn't say a word 'till about noon. It was lunch time, and he still didn't ask me to call his driver.

"Is Mr. von Hauser in his office?"

I looked up from his schedule to see a tall woman in a red dress and shades. Her auburn hair was well combed, with some volume that was just right. She looked like a movie start in her forties. I had no idea who she was...

"Ah'm sorry, but Mr. von Hauser refuses to be disturbed. If you wish to talk to him, you'll have to make an appointment" I said, trying to come up with my best smile, 'cause I was still thinking about the weird thing going on in the office.

"I beg your pardon?" The woman said, taking her shades off, and brown eyes blinking at me.

"Ah'm sorry, but it's just the way it is. If you want to make an appointment, Ah'll be happy to help you." I said, opening his schedule "So, next week Mr. von Hauser is completely booked."

"Are you making fun of me?" The woman said, frowning.

"No, Ah'm serious! See?" I showed her the schedule "Completely booked. It's really impossible to squeeze you into-"

"Squeeze me?!" The woman gasped.

"Since when does my mother need and appointment to see me?"

I looked to the office door, and Mr. von Hauser was there, with a deep frown, but more composed than he had been before. That was good, right?

Wait. His mom?! HOLY...! Mrs. Von Hauser was indeed alive! She looked... wow! Really good! Of course, a few weeks in the mountains and a little bit of her friend Botox might help with that.

"That was exactly what I was trying to understand." The woman said, with an auburn eyebrow going up her white forehead "You can't say she doesn't lookout for your best interests, though. Hello, my dear Julian..."

The woman went to her son, and kissed his cheek. He bowed his head quickly and opened the door to his office, for her to come in.

"Isn't it your lunch hour?" He asked me.

"Yes, sir..." I muttered, gathering my phone, schedule and purse "Huh... do you need me to..."

"No." He interrupted, turning his back on me "Go."

 ***

 I decided to go alone to a diner just across the street. It was packed with the working class having a quick lunch. But me, I was actually not eating much, 'cause I had this idea during my working hours, so I wouldn't be such a failure as a secretary. 'Cause, let's face it, I hadn't been doing a bang up job...

I opened my pink notebook and choose a new perfect empty sheet. With my hot pink marker I wrote in my curly handwriting 'Julian facts'. First came the long list of breakfast demands. Then the List.

Fact nr. 1: Hates things out of place, obviously.

Fact nr. 2: He's insane. Literally.

Fact nr. 3: Jogs every day. At home...

Fact nr. 4: Gets pissy when someone touches his things.

What else...? Ah!

Fact nr. 5: Got dumped by his fiancé.

Fact nr. 6: Ex-fiancé is none other than my own personal hero Melinda Trevino! Note: she works for his company!

Fact nr. 7: Has an older sister – Natalie – who's a lawyer at the company.

Fact nr. 8: Went to boarding school in England, and graduated from Oxford.

"I can always spot Julian's secretaries."

I jumped on my seat and looked up in dismay, as Piet Rush took a seat in front of me, in the round silver table.

"They always seem to be working and lacking of a social life. Kinda like himself" He smiled, looking to my list, but I immediately closed my notebook and smiled politely.

"Mr. Rush!" I giggled, and then kicked myself so I would STOP being such a sissy common place girl! "Hello, again. What on earth are you doing here?"

"I'm shooting a movie in town." He said, chuckling as I put my notebook away "And I see you're also a job freak."

"Not really. Ah mean, Ah think Ah have a healthy dose of work enthusiasm and social fun" I assured him.

"Julian's giving you a hard time?" He asked, with a wince.

"It's not Mr. von Hauser's fault..." I sighed, making a face towards my – actually my boss's - schedule "Ah'm having a hard time 'cause Ah really can't get in tune with his rhythm."

"Look, Julian's not an easy guy. I should know that better than anyone else, I mean, I know the guy since we're like eleven." He smiled, his gorgeous face lightens up with sympathy "He's... special. Different. But he's a very good person. He's hard, I'm not making excuses for him, I assure you. He's an acquired taste. A very hard one to get acquired with..."

I had to chuckle at that, and he smiled.

"But he'll grown on you. One advice, though... Even if you didn't ask."

"Please, give me all the advice you can come up with! Ah'm in need of all kinds of advice, right now" I assured him, maybe too needy, and he chuckled again.

"Pay attention."

"To...?" I added, after a long silence.

"Everything. His face, his moods and the way he moves." Rush said, very serious "You look like a smart woman, Miss McAllister."

Oh my! My momma's gonna die when I tell her Piet Freakin' Rush said I was smart!

"He's gonna test your patience. Believe me, you'll feel like you could commit murder, some day." He warned me, and I felt my stomach fall to my feet "You gonna want to give up."

"But Ah shouldn't? Is that what you're telling me?" I asked, in a mumble.

"I'm telling you, if that time... well, actually, when that time comes, go to an empty and quiet place, breathe a few times, tell yourself you're a strong and determined woman. You can do this."

"Mr. Rush... Quite honestly, Ah've no idea why you're telling me all this. Ah mean..." I mumbled as he smiled "you hardly know me. Well, truth is, you don't know me at all. Forgetting the fact that Ah might be a serial killer..." He chuckled once more "Why are you giving me all these advices? Ah know you care about your friend, and that's lovely. But still... why do Ah get the impression you're telling me not to leave him?"

He smiled a little, and then let out a heavy sigh.

"Because, Miss McAllister, everyone else does."

 ***

 Everyone else does...

Nice... Now I had to grow a conscience! Towards that ape of a man?! Seriously...! You weren't made for one another. He's a self-centered asshole, I'm a happy person. Complete opposites. He seems to enjoy being alone and sad, and I love sunshine and funny animals on Youtube. Which I was giggling at in that same instant.

"You're a very productive employee..."

I jumped on my chair and hit the close button on the webpage. Kenny was grinning at the other side of my desk.

"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, Kenny!" I moaned "How do you sneak around like that?!"

"It's a gift. You look entertained. Should I remind you there's gonna be a meeting at Pandora in a few minutes? And that your boss is expected?"

"What?!" I hissed, and turned into Wonder Woman while I quickly opened my pink schedule, than Mr. von Hauser's black one and saw my own stupidity plastered on the white pages "Shit! Ah totally forgot about that! How could Ah forget about my Pandora?!"

I knew how: von Hauser Madness is contagious!

"Hey, you're welcome!" Kenny chuckled as I ran on my Chanel heels towards Mr. von Hauser's door.

"Love you, Kenny. Buy you a coffee later!" I promised as I tapped hard on the CEO's door and got inside without waiting for his response "Mr. von Hauser, we... huh... have to go. Chop chop!"

He frowned and he looked at me like I just had told him I was carrying his child.

"C'mon, c'mon! We have..." I gasped as I saw the time on my watch "Ok, time's not important. Here's the basics. We just have to shake hands, nod, ask 'And what do you think about that?' every time they ask you something, and you'll be fine!"

"What in the world are you talking about, Miss McAllister?" He grunted, as I pushed him up from his elbow, throw him his brown battered blazer and pushed him towards the office door "Wow! Wait. Miss McAllister, STOP!"

I hunched in my heels and moaned.

"What is happening!? Have you been drinking?!"

"Ah screwed up. Ah forgot..." I moaned again, and he started to frown, as he crossed his arms over his broad chest "Ah forgot! Ah'm sooooo sorry! There's a meeting with Pandora – actually, it's already started! – about the new layout for the magazine. You're supposed to be there and... well... listen to the Editors' ideas. And approve them, or give yourself some ideas..."

His brown eyes started to grow wider and larger, and I felt myself smaller and screwerer – if that's even a word...

"You're telling me... I have to go to a meeting I have no idea what it is about, and that I'm already late?!" He hissed, and I dropped my head low "What am I supposed to do, Miss McAllister?! Just sit there and nod, like you said?! Just let them talk and talk and say nothing? I'm just a damn prop, is that it?!"

"Like that's not what you usually do..." I mumbled to myself.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" He grunted, eyes squinting.

I was fired, anyway, might as well go down with a clear mind.

"Well, if you must know: you usually just seat and nod at Board meetings. Just like a prop. No, not a prop. A puppet!" I shrieked, as I left the office with my shoulders back and my head high.

"Now, wait just a second!" I heard him groan as he followed me down the hall, towards the elevators; Rachel and a girl from Accounting both stared at us with their jaws dropped "There's a reason behind that! I'm no puppet, Miss McAllister! I'm listening! They are Board members, they've been around far longer then I'll ever be. I should listen to them."

"Oh? And you're just the CEO they play around like a pawn?" I hit back, when the elevator doors opened.

The people inside all stared back at us with brows up, eyes unblinking. I smiled a little and stepped inside. Mr. von Hauser still kept outside. He didn't want to come? I squinted my eyes, my forefinger close to the twenty second floor. He squinted too. He thought I wouldn't to it. I did. I heard him hiss and jump inside the already packed elevator.

To say he was uncomfortable was a euphemism. He looked like he was going down to meet Death itself. He was sweating; I could see it in his tanned neck and forehead. His fists were jammed in his pockets, his brown eyes were huge and focused on the metal doors. He was shaking, ever so slightly, but he was. He looked not only in pain but in nausea. Did he have claustrophobia? Was that why he didn't want to get in the elevator?

When the doors opened on the twenty second floor, I stepped outside and some people followed out. Mr. von Hauser got out quickly and it was my time to run after him. He got into the men's room, and I couldn't care less if there was a man showing himself off. I wasn't going to let him go until his ass was inside that damn meeting room!

"Mr. von Hauser, we don't have time!" I groaned as I walked inside the bathroom.

He untied his tie, let it fall to the floor, and then washed his face. After that, he scrubbed his hands, writs and, I'm not lying, all the way up his elbows. What in the world?! Was he that nervous? For God's sake, it was only a meeting at a fashion magazine! He was the damn CEO! He ran this shit!

"We're out of time" I repeated and he gasped and squirmed away when I touched his strong shoulder.

"I'm not going." He assured me, using his light blue shirt sleeve to open a stall door, like he could get his hands dirty again, and closed himself inside, like a damn five year old "I don't give a shit about that damn meeting!"

"Need Ah remind you that you're the CEO? You're the one who runs this entire company. You have to go!"

"You go. Didn't you say you wanted to be a model, or something?"

"Fashion journalist" I grunted, and folded my arms over my white blouse, my eyes squinted in suspicion.

I looked around the bathroom, and after the last man – who grunted at me – came out from the last stall, I picked Mr. von Hauser's red tie and climbed on a toilet next to his stall.

"Mr. von Hauser..." I sighed, as I leaned into the black stall wall; he was sitting in the toilet, the seat down, his hands in his dark hair "Are you feeling ill?"

He said nothing, just kept humming to himself something I didn't get.

"Look, don't be nervous just because you don't have anything to say. It doesn't matter. It's fashion, for God's sake! Whatever you'll say will be amazing" I assured him.

"I can't go. I'm not prepared. I'm not ready, I can't go..." He kept telling that over and over again.

I rolled my eyes, and dropped to the floor. Fine. He wasn't going to open the door? I might be fluffy, and my butt might be too big for my plan, but that didn't make me back down. I dropped to my knees and rolled under the bathroom stall.

"You know" I grunted as I got up again; Mr. von Hauser gasped as he saw me standing in front of him "my daddy usually says that excuses are like backsides: everybody's got one and they all stink."

He kept staring mesmerized as I kneeled again on the floor and started to button his sleeves again. Then his top shirt buttons.

"You're the CEO. If you miss it, they'll just think you're careless."

"I don't know what to say." He muttered, his brown eyes were still wild looking, as I tied his tie around his tanned neck again "I don't know a thing about fashion. I don't know those people. And that place's dirty. So very dirty!"

He started chanting on how dirty the stall was too, and ran past me to clean himself again. Ok... This wasn't... huh... normal... right?

"If my cousin Russell – how's two bricks short of a load – could make to the town's assembly, so can you." I assured him as I took his hands from under the tap and cleaned them with some paper towels "Root hog or die, my daddy says."

He just nodded and didn't resist when I pushed him outside the bathroom, guiding him towards the Pandora office. The fashion magazine was guarded by glass doors, which I opened to let us inside.

"I can't."

He turned around and quickened his steps to the stairs. And down he went. Alone.

 ***

 "What are you looking for?"

I waved my hand at Harmony, as she walked inside my tiny bedroom.

"Panic attacks?" She grunted, leaning towards my laptop "Why are you searching about panic attacks?!"

"Because Ah think my boss had one this afternoon." I told her, and twirled my chair so my back was to the window, facing Harmony "He was sweating, panting, trembling and he ran away."

"Sounds like a panic attack" Harmony agreed.

"And Ah think he's a germ freak too" I told her, with a wince.

"Don't you want to had brain tumor to that?" She teased.

"Ah'm just saying. He scrubbed his hands and arms like his life depended on it. And he kept moaning about how dirty everything was."

"Wow... That's serious, G." She mumbled, folding her legs over my bed "Is that public knowledge? That he as that disease?"

"Ah don't think so. Ah goggled it and nothing came up. Ah guess it's like a family secret, or something..."

I told her about his 'attack' earlier that day, and she looked intrigued as well.

"Are you gonna talk to him about it?"

"The guy's gonna fire me tomorrow, so maybe. Ah don't know. What if he sends some sniper to kill me?!"

"G..." She gave me a sour look and then chuckled "Look, if you want my advice, just shut up for now, but read about that germophobic thing and try to see how you can avoid his panic attacks."

"That's hard. Ah don't even know why he had one" I admitted.

"Try to remember."

"Ok... He started to panic in the elevator."

"Claustrophobia."

"Seriously?! Germ and claustrophobia?!" I wined, letting my head fall over the desk, while Harmony chuckled "Why do Ah have to have the worst bosses?!"

"You're fine. Maybe he's both, you can only know if you keep an eye on him."

Yeah... I would do that. If he doesn't fire me before, that is...