Moving wasn't fun. Julian was stressed out, and I knew he would react exactly the way he did. Although I was certain he loved the thought of having me around, it scared the hell out of him to see my things moving in, too. If he could, he would have driven the moving truck into the Hudson River and leave my things there to rot. He took lots of deep breaths as I dragged all my clothing onto his – huh, our closet; he almost fainted as I placed my hygiene products next to his, and he basically had a heart attack when I set my family's photos on our bedroom.

"G, that's too much." He mumbled as I placed the five photos on the dresser at the end of the room; I rolled my eyes "Honestly, I hate photos; plus, this is our bedroom, I cannot have your parents' faces staring at me while I deflower their daughter!"

"Deflower?" I chuckled, looking at him from over my shoulder "These are pictures; they can't actually see you, you know?"

"Well, I know that, since I'm not a child." He grunted, pushing his hands on his slacks pockets "Can't we just put them in the living room, maybe?"

"Ok." I sighed, deciding that would be the best compromise I would get "That's fine. Thank you. I know I'm asking for too much..."

"Sorry. It's going..." He shrugged, talking about therapy, now "But, you know, these things take time..."

"When's your next appointment?" I asked, as I gathered all the photos and trotted to our living room.

"Saturday morning." He said, after a few seconds "And we have lunch with my mother, afterwards."

I dropped a picture of my nieces' right onto my toe, making me yelp. Julian picked it up, but he didn't dare to look into my eyes when he set it in my arms.

"Excuse me?" I mumbled, dropping the photos on the coffee table.

"I told you about it."

"I would remember if you had" I snapped, feeling my rage boiling up.

"I didn't?" He winced "Yeah... maybe I didn't. It was a hard conversation for us to have..."

"So you decided to just drop the bomb like that?!" I yelled "Damn it, Julian! If we're a couple, you need to tell me these things, they're important! Especially when we both know the love your mother nurtures for me..."

"G..." He sighed, coming up and wrapping his arms around my waist; I crossed mine over my chest so he couldn't hold me "She just doesn't know you, that's it. Once she gets to know you, once she talks to you, she'll know why I'm crazy about you, and why I want you to be with me. She'll become your fan, too."

I smiled tensely. I understood him; I mean, I wanted to introduce him to my parents, too. It's expected to meet the family, right? Except, Mrs. von Hauser and I didn't have the best past... Time for a new leaf: new chapter, new possibilities. I was an adult and it was time I started acting like one, I guess.

***

"So you're meeting the mother. That's gotta be terrifying" Matisse grinned, at the office coffee room, one morning.

"Terrifying?" I snorted, picking up a coffee for myself and another for Cynthia "Terrifying would be Chanel presenting a collection inspired by Rappers – it's just not her style. No, fellow co-worker, this is worse than that. That woman hates my guts, and I was nothing but nice to her. Ok, maybe I did accidently poisoned her son; and maybe I did date Julian's best friend – but that was short lived and I always liked Julian! And, yeah, maybe she has reasons to doubt me..."

"It's her son. Mothers always protect their babies, since they're eight years old until they're eighty" Matisse smiled, as we got to my desk.

"What should I wear?!" I moaned, and she laughed.

"Focus on the work, for now. Cynthia's on her moody day..." Matisse grunted "Looks like Melinda and her Creative team didn't come up with a brilliant idea, as Cynthia was expecting..."

"So, you mean I'll be hearing her disappointment throughout the day..." I moaned and she patted my shoulder.

"Think about it this way: you'll hear nothing but disappointment throughout the entire week!" Matisse grinned; I scowled at her.

"You're not as funny as you think you are" I assured her, picking up my notebook and walking towards Cynthia's office with her coffee in hand.

"Aw, c'mon, I'm adorable!" I heard Matisse gasp, making me chuckle, once I entered Cynthia's office.

"Miss Lohr." I smiled tensely; she gestured for me to take a seat "So, what's on the menu for today?"

"I was hoping you would have a brilliant idea, because we're screwed!" She sighed, taking her long silver nails to her skull "We're screwed, Georgia. Melinda and her team keep presenting me the same kind of articles and spreads. I'm getting anxious."

"What can I do?" I promptly put in, opening my notebook, ready to take notes.

"Get someone to smack them a little?" She mumbled, and I had to chuckle at that "Sorry. I'm really not in a good mood. Look, you don't have anything urgent tonight, do you?"

"No, not really" I shrugged.

"Good, because we're staying after hours to get the best idea in the world, or else, we're completely screwed."

***

I took the opportunity that Julian had a free schedule for lunch to join him in his office. Plus, I had to tell him I would be coming home late. I still got butterflies in my stomach every time I remembered that we were actually living together – it was so grown up!

"Hey, Kimmy!" I grinned at my sister, who glared at me from my old desk "Can you please tell my boyfriend I'm here for lunch?"

"Yeah, yeah. You're happy, we all know it." She rolled her green eyes as she got up "Just take a seat and wait. I only need him to sign some docs before lunch time. I need to get them down to Marketing."

I nodded and took a seat on my old desk, setting the lunch I'd got for both Julian and me on the white table. It was weird, to be back to the old workplace, it brought back all the memories.

I saw Kim's schedule – well, Julian's schedule. God, it was completely different from mine! It didn't even have an upbeat color! It was a dull black, like leather or something. Whistling, I opened it. I knew his birthday was coming up – in a couple of weeks – so I wanted to know if he had anything planned for that day, or if I could start planning a party.

Something I found in Kim's schedule made me frown. Julian's session with Dr. Platt the weekend before had a red note saying 'TO CANCEL'. So did the one for next Saturday, the one he told me he had. 'TO CANCEL'. The two sessions two weeks back, 'TO CANCEL'. 'CANCELED', 'RESCHEDULE'.

What the hell?! He'd been skipping for almost three weeks, now! What the hell was going on? Had he been lying to me all this time? I knew therapy couldn't be easy, but still, he really needed to talk to someone who really knew what was going inside his head.

"You can go in, he's waiting for you" My sister told me once she got out of the office.

I nodded, picked up the paper bag with lunch and entered Julian's office. He was cleaning the coffee table and turning the TV on the news, smiling at me once I closed the door.

"Hey, gorgeous." He kissed my lips and frowned once I took a seat without really returning it "Something wrong? What happened at work?"

"Work's fine." I assured him, setting the bag on the coffee table and taking our lunch "I'm staying after hours with Cynthia, tonight. So I'll probably won't be home for dinner."

"Ok, that's fine." He smiled, still frowning, as he opened his plastic recipient with a Caesar's salad "What else is wrong? You look angry."

"When did you say your session with Dr. Platt was?" I asked, staring at my own Chinese rolls.

"Saturday morning. And lunch with my mother, later. Have you already decided on what to wear?" He teased.

"Why are you lying to me, Julian?" This time I looked him straight in the eye.

"What are you talking about?" He frowned, setting his salad on the table.

"I saw Kim's schedule – your schedule. You've been canceling the sessions for three weeks, now." I mumbled, my jaw tense and my eyes not blinking "Why is that? And why didn't you tell me?"

He rubbed his palms on his knees, his lips set into a firm line.

"It stresses me out, going there." He muttered, his thumb twitching and his breathing slightly ragged "She says I need to reject my... compulsions. That I need to let go, to think of something else... It's stupid. I don't agree with her, I think I'm fine."

"You're not fine." I hissed, setting the plastic fork over the table "Life isn't supposed to be fine, it's supposed to be either great or excellent. You suffer with your doubts, you don't trust your own abilities and that's bound to screw you, at some point in your life. And I'm not even going to talk about the neat freakiness."

"Well, excuse me if my personality bothers you" He grunted, tossing his own fork and food to the coffee table and getting up.

"I cannot believe that's what you think I'm saying..." I mumbled, feeling a knot of pain around my chest, as I got up "I like you just the way you are – there's a damn song about it, remember when I sang in the shower? –, and I know you. You're not fine. You'll never be fine if you don't face what's bothering you."

"Well, don't worry. I won't bother you with my troubles" He muttered, sitting on his desk and ignoring me as he glared at his laptop.

Oh, so now I was the mean one? Fine, he wanted to put on a tantrum, just let him. I left his office with the remains of my rolls in my hands, not even bothering saying goodbye.

***

"Ok, what did he do?"

I sighed as Matisse got to the coffee room and eyed me up and down.

"Is it that obvious?" I sighed, playing with the plastic spoon on my coffee; just what I needed, more caffeine to get my nerves hit the walls.

"Well, forgetting the fact that you look like you'll pick a gun and start shooting everyone here, you did go have lunch with him... So I'm pretty sure he was an idiot" Matisse shrugged, tossing her red ponytail behind her shoulders.

"Yeah, he was an idiot..." I sighed, forgetting my notebook and my obvious unsuccessful brainstorm for Cynthia "He's been canceling his appointments, Matie..."

"Oh, shit" My friend frowned.

"Shit is the appropriate word for the day..." I sighed, feeling my eyes sting "Crap..."

"Ah, damn." Matisse mumbled, taking off two Kleenex and putting them under my nose, so I would clean my tears "C'mon, you can't let that get to you. Especially tonight, when you need that pretty little head of yours to get an awesome idea for the next issue."

"Right." I cleared my throat, drying my tears "I had some ideas, but I don't really think they're good enough for Pandora."

"Well, just keep working." Matisse sighed, squeezing my shoulder as she left "And stop drinking coffee."

***

I was tired and sleepy. And a little hungry. Staying late with Cynthia had been both wonderful and a living Hell. We got pretty much nowhere, but still, we crossed some of the 'Dos' and 'Don'ts' from my list. I was definitely spending the night up brainstorming some ideas – we had until the end of the week to get to something solid. If not... well, we were screwed, weren't we?

"Goodnight, Eddie" I smiled at the chubby black man at the front reception of the von Hauser.

"Hold up just a moment, Miss McAllister" He mumbled, running a little clumsily from behind his desk.

I frowned, stopping immediately.

"Something wrong, Eddie?" I frowned, as the guy panted to catch his breath.

"Huh... Gotta ask you a couple questions, ma'am." He shrugged, playing with his intercom "So... hum... You work at a fashion magazine, true?"

"Yeah, Eddie. You know I do" I smiled, but frowned.

"So, the Mrs. has been havin' some issues with her curves." Eddie grunted, frowning deep in his crinkled, dark forehead; I had to chuckle "You know black women have a big booty, true? Beats me why she wants to hide it, but..."

"I bet if you tell her how gorgeous she is regardless of what she wears, she'll just forget about hiding her curves" I winked at him.

"Yeah, I've tried, Miss McAllister." He pressed his lips tight "But still, she keeps naggin' me that I'm not the one trained – whatever that means – to tell if a woman is beautiful or not."

I frowned. That actually gave me an idea!

"Eddie, I'm in love with you, right now." I grinned, grabbing his face and kissing his cheek hard "Marry me."

"Well, I-" He started, looking embarrassed.

"I asked you to stall her, not steal her, Eddie."

I frowned and looked from over my shoulder. Julian was walking out of one of the elevators, his briefcase on his tanned hand, and a soft and amused smile on his face. Eddie chuckled and nodded. I pressed my lips tight and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Sorry, Miss." Eddie grinned at me, when I gave him a sour look "He's the boss. Still, the Mrs. does have an issue with her body. Don't really know how to help her."

"Well, just tell her how you really feel. Bottom line, Eddie, don't ever lie to your wife" I snapped, turning my back to both him and 'The Boss', to face New York's pouring rain.

I stood outside the building's glass doors, cursing at the sudden weather. Just to think I had to go home by taxi and spend money I barely had, was making me angry. Join the fact that my boyfriend/roommate was following me to the mix, and you have a huge headache.

"So... I waited for you." He mumbled, seeming vulnerable "Had work to catch on... I decided to stay longer and wait for you. I hope... you don't mind."

Man... so now he was going for the vulnerable and unsecure Julian? That was a cheap shot.

"Don't try to get cute with me. I'm still hurt" I tossed, whistling with my fingers as I saw a cab.

The man hit the brakes fast, and I ran towards the vehicle, protecting my head with my bag and opening the car door. A big hand stopped me. I grunted as I looked up to a very wet Julian. Damn, this man was sexy... With his dark hair falling to his forehead, the rough stubble that he wasn't shaving for my own pleasure, dark eyes pleading... God, how could a woman keep her ground with that?

"I know I hurt you. Damn it, G, I know!" He mumbled, his fist grabbing the door with all his power "I know I was wrong and... honestly, I'm sorry I kept it from you. I really do, but... It makes me nervous to go there... Makes me feel weak."

"You're an idiot." I sighed, taking his hand from the door and closing the thing myself, signaling for the driver to go "I'm your girlfriend, am I not? We live together, Julian. It's a big step, we both agreed on that. And still you keep hiding from me? That can't be, honey... I'm sorry, but we can't hide from each other."

"Yes... I know..." He sighed, a hand rubbing his face and tossing his wet hair back "I was an idiot, not just by keeping that from you, but from what I said... today, in my office... Yeah, I know I hurt you."

I sighed heavily, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands.

"Can we just go home? I'm starving and I got a huge headache."

"I'm starving, too. Hey, wanna go to this really cool sushi place that's open after hours? Piet said it's really low key and it's got great food" His smile was small, like he was still unsure of what I was feeling towards him.

"Ok. Sure, sushi sounds good" I smiled back, and before we walked towards the company's underground parking lot, I stepped on my toes and kissed him softly on that sexy mouth of his.

"Thanks... I needed that" This time, his smile was honest.

The sushi place was actually really cool. It was very small – one of those Manhattan's treasures that comes from time to time and, suddenly, with no warning, disappear forever. It was all black and red, very warm and cozy. Once you slid onto their booths, you actually felt like you were in a very hip and secluded restaurant in Tokyo. We ordered the late-time special, sparkling water and waited, listening to the soft music playing in the background.

"So, how was the after hour meeting?"

"Don't wanna talk about it." I muttered, rubbing my eyes again; they were swollen and hurting "Cynthia's frustrated, which makes everyone frustrated and, consequentially, makes me frustrated..."

"You'll figure something out. You always do, sweetheart" He smiled, squeezing my hands in his.

"Actually, Eddie kinda made me think of something, but... no, it's stupid" I blushed at the thought.

"Hey, now. You have to tell me. Share, remember? It's your turn to share" He demanded.

"Tell you what: after I actually write down my idea, I'll show you, ok? It's still messed up in here" I tapped my head, grinning.

"Sweetheart, it's always messy in there" He teased, kissing my hand.

"Ass" I smiled, pinching his chin.

Once the food came, we attacked without mercy, both feeling starvation hit after things calmed down.

"Is therapy that bad?"

"It's stressing." He mumbled, playing with his food "It's... unnatural, to me. To fight against the behaviors I had for years..."

"You know you need it, don't you?" I sighed, choosing a roll and biting on it.

"I know... it's damn hard, though..."

"So why do you keep going back?" I asked, after a few minutes, pushing a roll all the way into my mouth; ok, not sexy, but I was starving, so sue me.

"Well, you keep asking... And I can't say no to you, because I love you so much."

My jaw fell and, yeah, the half chewed sushi roll showed. Well, that wasn't exactly how I pictured hearing those three little words from Julian...! Not while I was eating at a sushi place, in the middle of the night, after a tiring day, begging for a bed and a pillow. But, the thing about Julian is, you gotta let go of your previous hopes and dreams, and just let it roll.

"You really should chew on your food" He smiled, closing my mouth with one of his big hands.

I nodded and swallowed the damn thing whole – I had to wince, because it hurt my throat.

"Why do you keep making me go back?" He mumbled, looking down at his own black bowl; it was like he was feeling embarrassed now that his feelings were out in the open.

"Because I honestly think you would benefit from professional help." I assured him, choosing a new roll as I blushed, clearing my throat "And because you're my man. What you said... earlier, about me wanting to change you?" I didn't look up at him, so I can't know if he was also staring at his food or me "That's not true. You're perfect to me just the way you are. I mean it. I love you exactly the way you are. It's just that I know you could be happier if you learned to control your urges and... if you learned to get more confident. That's it..."

We were quiet for a while, both pretending to eat.

"So, even with all my craziness... you still love me?" I heard him ask, very softly; it was like we were two kids from middle school.

"You make me nuts. But yeah... I kinda love you" I smiled, this time looking up at him; his eyes were staring right at me and there was also a soft smile on his lips.

"I kinda love you, too" He grinned, making fun of my accent.

"You're an ass" I assured him, tossing a roll at his shirt.

***

Going home that night was... well, different, to say the least. We looked like two kids on a first date. At least I was feeling nervous and self-conscious; knowing Julian, he would be nervous as well. We both took our clothes off, changed into our pajamas, brushed our teeth in the bathroom, and headed to bed. Once there, we lay side by side in total Manhattan silence, both staring at the white ceiling.

"Do you wanna go meet my family on Thanksgiving?"

"Yes" He answered so quickly it make me chuckle.

"You gotta know, my family's insane. I mean, you think I'm weird? Well, you gonna love them..."

"I love them all for making you" He smiled softly, turning his head on the pillow to look at me.

"Well, hopefully I'll be able to say that about your mom this Saturday..." I moaned.

"I know I've said it a million times before, but I'll say it a million more if it helps: she's really not that bad. Honestly. She's just... Well, intrusive."

"Intrusive is a euphemism..." I frowned.

"Sweetheart, nothing in the world will make me stop loving you" He assured me, rolling in the bed so his naked chest and warm arms came around me.

"Good. 'Cause my family's gonna make you eat things they grow in the backyard" I grinned, as I laid my head on his warm chest, closing my eyes and hearing his heartbeat.

"Jesus..." He muttered, pretending to shake "See what I do for you? I deserve one of those tacky awards you buy in a convenience store: Number One Boyfriend."

"Hum hum, you definitely do" I grinned again, my arms coming around his midriff, my hands caressing his muscled back.

After a few minutes of silence, his hands dropped to my lower back, crushing me softly to his body. I chuckled at the feeling of his desire for me inside his warm slacks.

"You actually thought I wouldn't be making love to you on the day I professed my true feelings?" He whispered in my ear, making me bite my lower lip in response.

"What was I thinking...?" I chuckled, and his happy grin made my chest overflow with joy once he kissed me.