Missy whined and whined that she wasn't going to get to say good bye to lando in person. Every time she mentioned his name my head began to spin.

JH: "hey the jets on the tarmac, if you want to avoid...everything."

She whispered into my ear as she finally came back to the group after a food run. I gave her a big smile, salvation.

I grabbed my bags and stood up, everyone didn't think twice about me boarding early knowing I was exhausted yesterday. Missy however couldn't let me go.

ML: "oh no! Are you boarding already?"

YN: "yeah, barely awake, I'm gonna get some shut eye on the plane."

ML: "big night?"

I gulped slightly imitated. She didn't look like she knew what happened though, more so genuinely concerned, or curious.

YN: "big weekend. Driving takes it out of you."

I remained unbothered by her question on the outside, answering in a matter of a fact tone.

ML: "fair I guess, well it was nice to meet you, hope I can see you again soon!"

She almost knocked the wind out of me as she gave me a hug. It was more so the hope to see you again that caught me out.

YN: "nice meeting you too, have a safe flight."

Still in missys arms Jess didn't shy away from staring. It felt just as forced as it looked. The corners of Jess's mouth turned up slightly, clearly trying to suppress a laugh as I glared at her. I rolled my eyes at her before I pulled out of the hug flashing a pathetic attempt of a smile and rushing off to the plane.

I was surprised to find my eyes heavy as I settled into my seat. I put my head phones in and pulled the hat over my head and closed my eyes, wishing to not wake up in the air.
——————————-

JH: "yn..."

Jess sung my name softly as she jostled me awake. I pulled my hat off thankful to see a vacant plane.

JH: "got a nice nap in?"

YN: "I did actually thank you."

We picked up our bags and waltzed off.

Alone on the tarmac I let myself indulge in my overwhelming curiosity.

YN: "how is he?"

JH: "he?"

Her sarcasm didn't feel funny to me.

YN: "lando jess."

She took a sharp breath in.

JH: "rough. He apologized to everyone though and said to char and I he wasn't doing great because of the race results and 'family problems' but..."

It wasn't family problems. Obviously. But it was an excuse nobody could really fault.

I groaned as I wiped my face, trying to wake myself up and deal with the situation at hand.

JH: "hey! You've made your bed you gotta lie in it."

YN: "yeah I know."

I mumbled my response, sometimes I loved her honesty but at this time it wasn't very welcomed.

We emerged to pick up our suitcases to see the whole team waiting by the empty conveyer belt. Wonderful. Now I had to actually socialize with everyone.

M: "first weekend back from the break and your already exhausted, might have to talk to your trainer."

YN: "P2 is hard work mike, dont know what to tell ya."

He laughed before being pulled away by another mechanic.

Left alone I looked around to see who was around me. Jess was thankfully keeping Lando occupied so I went over to char.

CS: "hey you okay?"

YN: "yeah, just exhausted, I think I've lost some of my fitness."

CS: "so it's got nothing to do with lando?"

Her voice whilst being hushed sounded urgent.

YN: "no. I honestly don't know what's wrong with him, I've been sleeping non stop since the race and haven't really talked to him."

She pinched her lips tight, unsure what to make of it. But we had agreed to not talk about lando and I any more so she backed off.

A siren sounded signaling the beginning of the bag release. I moved over eager to get my bag and get out of here.

I watched as the team depleted in numbers, bags spitting out at a slow and dispersed rate and mine yet to be seen.

JH: "do you want me to stay?"

She broke me out of my trance, I turned around to see just her lando and I left, Jess with her bags in hand. She had already done so much for me, I didn't want her to wait on me any longer. I also wanted to be in my car by myself before checking in the hotel and drive around Holland.

YN: "it's alright, I made my bed."

She placed a supportive hand on my shoulder before leaving, behind her lando stood alone. For the first time I got a good look at him, he wore dark circles around his eyes, his shoulders slouched and head low, he could barely keep himself upright.

I had to talk to him, say something or do something to make him feel better. I didn't know just what I could possibly do but seeing him like that tore me apart.

I walked over as his eyes were still tracing the floor. I stood millimeters apart from his side. All I could do was be there for him.

For a short while we stayed like that, he stood a little taller, I held him up just from being my his side.

Suddenly he threw his head back before pinching the bridge of his nose. I turnt to see him holding back tears. My heart began to beat faster, my veins pulsing with anxiety.

LN: "she was still there."

Of course. Of course missy would miss her flight to see him.

As landos eyes began to water I instinctively embraced him, holding his head to my chest feeling his ragged breathing.

LN: "I ended it."

I closed my eyes, keeping myself composed. He was so happy just merely seven days ago, and I had single handedly managed to take every ounce of it away.

As I opened my eyes again I spotted a camera on the other side of the room. Fuck.

YN: "I know this is the last thing you want to hear but there is paparazzi here so your gonna need to get it together."

I whispered tentatively by his ear, still holding him tight. He took one big final breath before pulling away, quickly wiping his face before standing upright with his hands in his pockets.

LN: "I erm...don't think I can drive..."

He cleared his throat before continuing.

LN: "is it okay if we car pool? I know you like to drive by yourself-"

YN: "yeah, of course."

Without question I would sacrifice anything for him.

He nodded to me and then kept nodding to himself as he turned his focus back on the conveyer belt again. As badly as I wanted to clear the air and talk to him about last night, it wasn't the right place or time. He would say something when he was ready.

Finally both our bags came out and we walked in sync to pick them up and then walk to the car in silence.

The sun had began to set over the city, the windows tainted an orange color. It was beautiful here. It didn't look like Lando was enjoying the view however. He moved restless in his seat.

LN: "last night-"

YN: "we don't have too if you don't want too."

LN: "no I... I'm sorry."

I almost slammed the breaks in shock.

YN: "no no don't be sorry, I blame myself and you should blame me as well."

He pondered about the answer for a bit. I just about thought he agreed.

LN: "it takes two to tango."

I smiled. Not wrong there.

YN: "what happened at the airport?"

LN: "I barely made it out of the car before missy showed herself. She was so mad about me going MIA, more than Charlotte."

YN: "you had everyone worried."

LN: "you included?"

I cocked my head to the side, I knew what he was hinting at.

YN: "yes, me included."

LN: "that was the last thing I wanted."

My grip on the steering wheel tightened. Could we salvage this?

LN: "anyways... long story short she was fuming but still asked if she could come to another race, she was so persistent and I just blurted out that we... that's when she finally let go. Said she never wanted to see me again, a few other colorful comments..."

His voice trailed off, I could only imagine what she would have said about me.

Neither of us were brave enough to say anything else as we pulled into the car park. I yearned to talk about where we stood with each other but it was a bigger conversation that we both required a lot more sleep for so we opted to settle into our rooms and hit the hay for the night.