It was exhausting. The talking was exhausting. Ever since I "moved" here, I didn't enjoy talking to people. Especially not to strangers. Ron was a stranger. He told me he wouldn't be one for too long. But for me he was. I never talked with someone about my problems. Not even my parents. I dealt with them alone. Always.

Now I had to talk with someone. I didn't want to. But I also didn't have a choice. Steve made the decision I had to talk with somebody because coping with it all alone wasn't good for me and my mental health, he said.

Guess what, it's not good for your mental health to get shot. To lose your parents, both at once. Being forced to move to a different state. Nothing of what had happened to me was good. I knew it. Steve knew it. Ron knew it.

I stepped out of the building. "How was it?", Steve asked me as he picked me up. "I don't want to talk about it." It was hard enough to talk to Ron. I did not have any intentions to tell Steve what we had talked about. "I understand." Did he? Probably.

"I signed you up at the school Brooklyn goes to. Your first day will be next week's Monday." I was tugged together when he talked. I was in my world, didn't even realize he was right next to me driving this car. Next week's Monday. That'll be in ten days. Was I ready to go back to school again? It would distract me. Maybe it would help me.

But I would have to talk to people. To my teachers. I would probably be asked if I wanted to introduce myself. Questions would come up. Why did you move here? Where do you come from? Why did you move in the middle of the year? When you moved weeks ago, why didn't you come to school until now?

I didn't want to answer the questions. Not because I was too shy, but because the answers didn't have to interest anyone but me. No one needs to know what I have been going through. I didn't want anybody to know.

Because they would feel pity. I don't want them to feel pity. I don't need it.

We arrived at Steve's house. His home. My home. Is it home? Because it doesn't feel like it. He opened the door with his keys. He told me, I'd get my keys as soon as I was going to school because before that day I was not allowed to go outside alone so I wouldn't need one.

I went straight to my room, locked the door, put out my phone, and plugged my headphones in.

Ten days. It was ten days later. The past few days were hell. I didn't eat more than needed, I didn't drink more than needed, I didn't talk more than needed.

I was ready as I could be for my "first day of school". Steve would drive me. He sat in his pickup ready to go.

I sat inside. We didn't talk the whole way. "I'll pick you up when school's done. If it's not me it'll be Danny or someone from the team." I just nodded.

I went ahead to the principal to get my schedule. My first lesson was English.

Shouldn't be too hard, it's my native language, isn't it?

I knocked at the door and waited for the teacher to call me in.

He opened the door and asked me to introduce myself.

"Good morning, we have a new student from today on."

"Hey, my name is Marissa, I'm 14 years old and now going to this school." "Does anyone have any questions that do not contain her sex life?"

The class laughed. A boy raised his arm. "Why are you coming to our class just now and not when the school year started?"

There it was. The question I didn't want to answer. The question I am not going to answer.

"I don't see why that would be any kind of your business?" "It isn't. I'm just curious."

The teacher said something. "Marissa, please answer the question. It's not that hard."

It's not that hard? Oh boy, it's harder than fucking concrete.

"Okay, I moved here a little while ago and then I got sick so I couldn't participate in class." It wasn't a lie. It wasn't the truth either but no one has to know that. "Okay, thank you. Please take a seat next to Brad." It was the boy who asked the question. Great. He would ask further questions. I just knew.

"Hey, so you're the new girl?" I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to listen to the teacher anyways so why not talk with someone I don't know yet?

"Yeah, that's what I just said." "Where did you move from?" "Alaska." "What city?" "You wouldn't know it. Anyways, is this an investigation?" "No, no it's not. Why did you move?"

I sighed.

"I moved because of my parents." Not a lie either. Technically. "What do they do for a living?" "They don't." "They don't have a job?" Jesus Christ, how stupid is this person next to me?

"No, they don't live." "Oh, I'm sorry." "Don't be." "What happened?" "Accident." That's it. I didn't talk any more during the whole day. The boy didn't stop asking me questions. I didn't give him an answer. He sat in my next classes next to me too. Looks like I'm going to see him a few times now.

Steve didn't pick me up. He called and said they were on a case. But he also said that Junoir was going to pick me up. It's a weird name. To call your child Junoir.

He arrived about ten minutes after school was over. "Get in." I walked up to his truck and hopped inside. "How was your day?" He looked at me for a short moment before concentrating on the street again. I didn't answer. I was done answering questions. "Don't feel like talking? That's okay." He didn't say anything for a while.

"You see, we don't really know each other but you can talk with me, with anyone from the team, every time. I know sometimes you don't want to talk because you don't want to relive everything that had happened. But talking can help. And even if it's just spending a movie night. We're there for you."