Steve:

"This is a very selfish gift, Steve," you eyed him suspiciously but Steve was adamant about not admitting it. He just stood there with an innocent smile plastered to his face. 

"I don't know what you mean," he said, rubbing his hands in excitement as he saw you opening the ice cream maker.

Tony: 

"All rise," Tony yelled as you entered the conference room for the regular team meeting. You raised your brow at him but he was stupid and did weird stuff on the daily so didn't pay much heed. The funny part was when Thor actually stood up. "Entering, Lord Y/N Stark of Perthshire." 

You looked at him for a minute before things clicked and you laughed out loud, "You bought me that one-inch piece of land in Scotland?"

"Piece of land? What am I, DaBaby?" Tony rolled his eyes as he pulled out his phone and handed it to you. You shook your head before looking at it. It was a picture of the castle and as you scrolled, there was a sale agreement with your name on it. Only that it said Stark and you furrowed your brows, making sure you read it right. 

"You bought me a fucking castle?" You said. "It says Stark though," You looked up but when you did, Tony was holding out his hand. He turned it over and there was a ring in his fist. 

"Marry me or whatever," He shrugged.

You looked around to make sure you were still in the conference room and apparently, everyone was just as taken aback. Tony Stark, the most dramatic bitch on the planet, had proposed to you in SHIELD's fucking conference room. Now that was a surprise alright.

Thor:

"Close your eyes, peasant," Thor said as he came to you with his hands behind his back. It had become a running joke with you since your first meeting when you'd kneed him for it.

"Fine but don't steal my m&m's. They're the last packet," You said, clutching the packet harder as you closed your eyes.

Thor hadn't even noticed them and debated whether or not to snatch them for a good minute before the gift in his hand brought him back. He shook his head and walked over to you. He raised your arms and took off your shirt. "Oh no, is this a blindfold Bukakke thing?"

"What?" Thor said but sighed when you just chuckled. You opened your eyes when you felt something fluffy slide onto your skin. "Wait," You looked down and hurried to a mirror to look at yourself. "You made this?"

It was a purple hand-knitted sweater that had 'WORTHY' written across its chest in yellow. You took a minute to understand what it was under it. 

"What the fuck?" You said as you burst into laughter. Below the 'WORTHY' was a print-stamp of Thor's dick as if he had painted on it and stamped it on the sweater. 

Thor was grinning ear to ear, his hands on his waist, "What? It's true," He said. "You're more than worthy of it."

Clint: 

You slapped Clint on his head when you entered the room and found him playing Xbox. "Ow!" He yelped but continued with his game. 

"It's our stupid anniversary, you asshole." You said as you picked up the controller anyway and sat down next to him. 

"Oh, right," Clint said and reached into his pocket. He took out a crumpled handwritten card that said:

Happy Anniversary now suck my cock pls.

Lots of love, me.