Once back in the car, Leah and I began our journey back to her house; this time our fingers stayed interlocked, both smiling as Leah kept her eyes on the road and I kept my eyes on her. The faint sound of soul music could be heard in the background, along with the odd whizz of a passing car.

"Are you coming over? I can drop you home if you don't want to."
"I want to. I can go home, though, if that's what you want." I smiled, internally hoping.
"I want you to come over. I just want you to be comfortable too." Leah smiled.
"I am. I promise."

I chuckled to myself as we pulled into the driveway, remembering my nerves the last time I had pulled in here and how they had now disappeared. Leah let us into the house, running upstairs to get me something to change into. I think she was secretly trying to ensure I had no reason not to stay. I headed to the bathroom to get changed, finding Leah on the sofa texting when I came back in.

"Breaking up with your new girlfriend for me?" I said playfully.
"Texting my mum, actually."
"How is she?" I smiled as I took a seat beside Leah.
"She's good. Misses you." Leah placed her arm around my shoulders.
"I thought they would hate me." I sighed.
"Yeah, I thought you might. Read these." Leah passed her phone to me.

Leah
I'm meeting Sophie tonight!

Mum
I'm so happy for you, Bubba. Are you nervous?

Leah
Yeah.

Mum
It will be okay. Let me know how it goes. Xx

Leah
I just left her now, it was amazing, Mum. She doesn't want to jump back into anything, but I think we're going to be friends for a bit and see what happens.

Mum
I'm happy for you both. Xx

— — — —

Leah
Sophie stayed last night!

Mum
Wow! Where did that come from?

Leah
We were texting, so she came around. We didn't kiss or anything, but we slept in the same bed :)

Mum
Going in the right direction. Slow is always best anyway. I really hope you two work things out, I've missed Sophie a lot.

Leah
I know 🙄 You tell me often enough!

Mum
That's what mums are for!

— — — —

Leah
I need your help. I'm taking Sophie on a date on Friday, and I need you to sort out the place for me before we get there.

Mum
Anything for my two favourite girls :) Where are you taking her?

Leah
A little island off the forest. Dad's going to borrow a motorboat to bring us across.

Mum
Why there?

Leah
I'll call after training and explain. You'll do it, though? Please?

Mum
Of course I will!

"Wait, did you tell her?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"The whole thing?"
"Yeah."
"Le, you never wanted to tell anyone that. You told her, just so you could organise tonight?"
"I would do anything to make nights like tonight happen for us, Sophie. Even if I'm scared."
"I love you." I said between kisses.
"I love you." Leah smiled, taking me into her arms as we decided on a film.

This was like old times; it was like we had never been apart. Only better than that, it was like someone had zapped all of the negativity away from us. I knew I still needed to tell Leah that it wasn't all her; I still needed to broach my own feelings and failings.

"Can we pause this?" I asked, sitting up from Leah but keeping my body facing her.
"Of course, are you okay?" Leah asked, concerned.
"I have something I need to say. I was going to say it earlier, but I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you." I chuckled.
"I'm glad." Leah smiled.

I tried to begin speaking, but a mouthful of stuttering came out. I inhaled so dramatically that my chest went out and a huge breath escaped through my nose. Just as I had earlier, Leah reached her hand out to me, letting me know she was there. As I spoke, Leah repeated my thumb stroking from earlier, wanting to bring me the same level of comfort that she had felt.

"I really appreciate everything you said earlier, Le. It made me realise that you have truly reflected on the things that prevented us from getting off the ground on your side. The truth is, though, that I wasn't perfect either, and before you start, that's the truth. When I was younger and I first came out, my mum was so ashamed of me—so ashamed that I would be that person that everyone was talking about. That person that everyone said, oh, did you hear about Jacqueline Kelly's daughter, she's gay. I didn't want that for my family; we had a good childhood and were loved. I didn't want to be the daughter who threw that back in their faces, so I put everything into giving them something else to talk about—my law degree. I wasn't actually any good at law when I began; I was clumsy and silly, but I kept working and working until I eventually found my stride. The thing is, though, that I think I became so attached to the idea of people being able to refer to me as the good solicitor that I forgot to be Sophie. I worked late, went in early, brought my work home, and used all of my energy on my career for so long that when it came to this, I wanted you to adapt to that. You shouldn't have to, though; it's not about whether we have time or not or hoping our time off will align; it's about making things happen. It's about knowing that you have a night off training and saying, well I know I've won that case anyway, so I can go home now. I can't expect you to fully let go with me if I'm not around enough to earn that from you. What I'm trying to say is that, going forward, I want to make sure that you know you are my priority, not some client or some law firm. You. Just you."

As I finished my sentence, I realised that Leah's eyes had welled up, instantly panicking that I had said something wrong. I felt my own face drop, and my heart began to beat quickly at the thought of having messed up a night as perfect as tonight.

"You don't know how long I've wondered if I was wrong to feel that way." Leah said, trying to smile through her tears.
"I'm sorry, Le. I'm sorry it took me so long." I sighed.
"Hey, none of that. We have a second chance now, Soph. This is exactly what we needed—real honesty." Leah said, placing a kiss on my forehead.

We spoke a little longer before eventually making our way to bed, brushing our teeth, and finding our way onto our own sides of the bed before scooting over to meet one another. A few kisses later, we both closed our eyes, allowing us to fall into a deep sleep with the safety of knowing that we could protect one another from any feelings of fear we were experiencing.

"Night, Le." I smiled, placing another kiss on her lips.
"Night, Soph." She whispered into my hair.

But it wasn't goodnight, not for the whole night anyway.

I woke after some time, raising my head from the pillow to check the clock: 3:37 a.m.I smiled as Leah slept peacefully beside me, gently lifting the covers to go to the bathroom after drinking too much water before bed. I made my way back along the hallway, rubbing my eyes, before I reentered the bedroom. I gently lifted the covers back up, snuggling myself back into Leah, lifting her arm across my waist, and pressing my back as far into her stomach as I could without waking her. I had missed her spooning me a lot.

"You okay, Soph?" Leah whispered, slipping her other arm under my neck.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's okay; you're okay, though?"
"Yeah, I just needed the bathroom."
"I missed this." Leah said, still whispering.
"Me too."

Leah lifted her head slightly to place a kiss on my shoulder, through the fabric of the top she had given me a few hours earlier, while simultaneously tightening her grip around my waist. It was an innocent act, with no planning or motive behind it, but it led to so much more than that. The feeling of her lips on my shoulder made my breathing hitch slightly, something I knew Leah had noticed, making her repeat the action a few more times. I moved backwards slightly, lifting the arm that lay under my neck and wrapping it around my body, wanting nothing more than to be held by Leah. She removed her arm from my waist for a few seconds, only long enough to move my hair out of her way, placing it back tightly around my waist as she moved her lips to my neck.

"Leah." I let out in a breath.
"I've missed you." Leah said, her breath as shaky as my own.

Both of us were nervous, almost as if we hadn't done this many times before; neither knew whether the other wanted to take things any further, but both secretly wanted nothing more. I moved Leah's arm down my waist slightly, bending my neck a little to allow her more access. I felt her move my T-shirt up slightly, her fingers connecting with my bare stomach and gently tracing patterns on it. With every swirl of her fingers, she hitched my top up a little further until I eventually pulled it over my head, still with Leah spooning me. Her grip on me became a little more forceful once she had removed her own top, and our skins touched for the first time in months. Her lips connected with the top of my back, and my right arm reached back to pull her closer to me as my breathing became less controlled.

"Soph." Leah whispered, stopping the contact between my skin and her lips.
"Yeah?"
"We don't have to do this; that's not why I wanted you to stay. You know that?"
"I know. I want to. I want you." I said, almost pathetically pleading with her to keep going.
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure."
"You can tell me if you want to stop at any point. You promise?" Leah said, her lips reconnecting with my shoulder.
"I don't want you to stop, Leah."

— — — —

For a few minutes, I sat with my legs either side of Leah, enjoying our eyes doing the talking.

"I love you." I smiled, trying to steady my heartbeat.
"I love you." Leah said, placing her hand on the back of my head to bring my lips level with hers.
"Fuck." I chuckled, moving myself next to her again.
"What?" She chuckled.
"I really needed that with you."
"Me too. I didn't know just how much."
"You feel okay?" I placed my head on her shoulder.
"Yeah, Soph. You?" Leah pulled me into her.
"Yeah, Le. Even if it is 7.04am." I giggled.

First date, first I love you, and first time—the things I wished I could relive with Leah, I now can. This time I was experiencing them while being completely in love, something I never thought would happen.