───── ❝ TO FIGHT FOR MYSELF ❞ ─────

you can protect others now

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Biting your lip, you did your best to hold back a moan, yet unsuccessful.

"I can't-" You panted, "I can't do it, Kurokawa-san!"

Izana looked at you with amusement dancing across his eyes. "Of course, you can. Just relax and stretch your legs further for me."His grip on your hands got tighter as he began pulling you closer to him.

Holding your breath, you did your best to push past your limits. Your face was turning red from the pain and sweat began dripping down your face onto the floor. Finally running out of oxygen, you released the air and instantly began shaking your head as you did your best to get out of Izana's grip. "No, I can't. Please, I'm so tired!"

Kakucho looked at the two of you with worry, "Maybe we should call it a day, Izana." The second those words came out of the boy's mouth, Izana let go of your hands and released you from the pain. You instantly leaned back and pulled your legs in before falling down to lay on the ground.

After a couple hours of training, you and Izana were in the middle of a cooldown exercise. He had told you to extend your legs as far apart as you could and hold your hands out in front of you. It seemed simple enough and you were oozing with confidence until the while-haired male easily mirrored your stretch in front of you, grabbing your arms and pulling you toward him.

It was painful.

You knew the guy was flexible but that was something else. It sort of reminded you of a certain ex of yours.

"Here." You heard a gentle voice speak out and you open your eyes to see Kakucho looking down at you, holding a bottle of water above you.

You swear you almost cried. "An angel!" You cried out, instantly sitting up and grabbing the beverage from Kakucho's hand. As you drank the water with ignorant bliss, you failed to notice the softened gaze and smile that Kakucho sent your way. He couldn't tell you why, but your presence brought a warm serenity to his eternal storm that was constantly brewing in his mind.

Finally taking his eyes off of your figure, Kakucho looked away only to lock with a certain pair of orchid orbs that glared right at his soul. Feeling ashamed, Kakucho averted his gaze and turned around, slowly trudging away while his head hung low.

You followed him with your eyes, the rim of your drink just on your lips before turning to look over at Izana. The second you did, the white haired male sent an innocent smile towards your direction, "Is he okay?"

Izana nodded his head, "He should be." He told you as he swiftly got up in one swift movement. Looking down at you, he smiled gently as he held his hand out. Returning his smile, you placed your hand on his before he gripped it tightly and pulling you up.

Only, Izana pulled you with enough force for you to come crashing into his arms.

Your face lit bright red instantaneously as it processed into your mind just how close you were to the taller boy, noses mere centimetres from colliding. With your heart beating quickly, you did your best to pull away from the white-haired boy but the hold he had behind your waist was firm.

"U-uhm, Kurokawa-san..." You chuckled nervously, doing your best to look into Izana's purple eyes but the stare he was sending your way felt intimidating and you had to avert your gaze.

"Hm?" He asked with a tilt of his head, his smile never leaving his face as his hold on you only got tighter.

You didn't know if Izana was just super comfortable or had a lack of knowledge about social decency. For the past few weeks that you have been training with Izana and Kakucho, the former male was friendly towards you.

Uncomfortably friendly.

Not only that, but the boy has often referred to you as 'my queen', which, while you felt some type of flattered, you felt you weren't deserving. Besides, it didn't feel right to be called that by someone who you had only just recently met.

"Izana." Kakucho's voice rang out amidst the silence, catching the boy off guard. "We should wrap this up soon. We... have that meeting."

The white-haired male nodded his head and let go of you. "[name], let's have you spar with Kakucho one last time. It'd be good to know where you stand now."

Izana walked off to the other side of the room, lifting his tank top over his head before using it to wipe the sweat off his head. As he did, his well-defined muscles and built figure stared right back at you and you couldn't help but stare right back. As soon as Izana began to turn back around to face you, you instantly averted your gaze and stood stiff as a board in front of Kakucho who could only raise a brow at you. Looking back at his friend, the male sighed before lifting his fists up into a fighting stance.

You followed Kakucho's movements, your heart beating quickly due to the adrenaline and anxiety that took over you. After training with the two for weeks now, you knew that you had become a much better fighter. However, you've also seen just how well Izana and Kakucho can handle theirselves whenever they would spar. They were in a completely different league.

(Please bear with me, I am terrible at fighting scenes ;-;)

With no warning, Kakucho dashed towards you with his fist pulled back. In one swift movement, he swung his fist forward with you barely managing to evade his punch on time.

Ducking down, you took a side step forward and brought your elbow back as hard as you could. Kakucho, in the nick of time, managed to catch your elbow before it hit him in the ribs. Having fought the boy countless times, you knew his next course of action and instantly ducked down, barely avoiding the punch that he was sending your way.

Placing your hands down on the ground, you extended one leg and sent your strongest kick at the male's chest. With wide eyes, Kakucho was blown back and landed flat on his back. You took his moment of shock to scramble on top of the boy, much to his surprise and another's dismay. Straddling him, you locked down his hands using your legs on either side of him.

Lifting your fist back, you sent it down towards Kakucho but he was easily able to avoid it with a turn of his head. No matter how many punches you tried to send his way, you were still too slow to actually hit him. Eventually, Kakucho managed to free his hands and caught your wrists. In one swift moment, he had turned the both of you over with him now on top.

As you struggled underneath his evidently stronger grip, Kakucho locked your hands above your head with ease. You were much too focused on the fight to even notice the suggestive position you were stuck in but Kakucho was very aware of the situation. With a reddening face, he lifted his fist back with intent to quickly get the fight over with.

Your eyes widened as you see his actions, and you squeezed your eyes shut to brace for impact. Fortunately for you, it never came. Slowly opening your eyes, you let out a sigh of relief upon noticing Kakucho's fist centimetres away from your face. Looking behind him, you noticed an angry looking Izana standing behind him, holding back his arm.

"You weren't actually thinking of hurting her, were you, Kakucho?" Izana asked in a low tone, his lilac eyes wide with ill intent. The two remained in silence for a moment, having yet another conversation through their eyes. You've noticed it's something they've done a lot, and you figured it was due to their familiarity with each other. They truly reminded you of your lost friends.

In fact, a lot about them reminded you of your playground buddies. You liked the idea of reuniting with them once more but you simply could not remember enough to entertain the idea.

"[surname]-san?"

Blinking your eyes, you realized that you have been blankly staring off into space, only regaining focus once Kakucho called out your name. That was when you realized he had gotten off you while you still laid sprawled out on the floor. Embarassed, you shot up in a seated position as your cheeks began to turn red. "Y-yes?"

The two males exchanged glances before looking back at you. Izana sighed and held his hand out towards you. You were about to take his offer when you remembered what occured with the white-haired male moments ago, so you decided to help yourself up instead. In return, Izana raised a brow at you but decided not to comment on it.

"Your speed is something that we definitely have to continue working on." Izana began his evaluation, as he did at the end of every training session. "Along with that, your accuracy and punches overall could use some improvement as well. Your battle iq is getting better but there were multiple instances where you could have made much better decisions."

As you listening to the male speak, you felt your chest get heavier. Despite weeks of training, you felt like you just weren't getting better no matter what the two said or did. With solemn eyes, you stared at the ground, your fists tightly clenched.

"None-the-less, you managed to bring Kakucho down." Izana continued, catching you off guard upon hearing his softer tone. "Which in itself is a big feat." The white-haired male then sent you a comforting smile, one that mimicked the one in his picture that you took when you first met. "Your punches may not be the strongest but everyone's fighting style is different. Your strength is in your legs and kicks..."

The more Izana talked, the more the weight off your chest began to lift. So you have been improving after all! You weren't terrible! The worry that had been haunting you for months was slowly going away.

You can protect others now...

"Great job, [name]."

As you and Izana shared a smile with one another, Kakucho's gaze shifted in-between the two of you. A familiar, yet unwanted feeling rapidly returning, the male frowned before turning to look from the sight.

~

You waved goodbye to the two males before heading towards the towering gates of your parents mansion. After a while of cursing the unnecessarily vast front lawn, you finally made it to the tall entrance doors and made your way inside.

"Miss [name]!" Hanami's loud voice caught you off guard and the childish girl nearly tackled you down to the ground the second you entered the mansion. Your eyes were wide and you grabbed on to the girl, noticing the crocodile tears running down her eyes. "Please stop them!"

"Hanami!?" You questioned, tilting your head to the side. "W-what's going on?"

With no further explanation, your childfood friend grabbed your hand and lead you further into the house. Leading you into the main living room, Hanami proceeded to stand behind you as if she was hiding from something. Sighing, you looked at the sight before you.

Sanzu and Ryouta sat on opposite sides, eyes never leaving each other. Although they sat quietly, anyone could tell the heavy feeling in the air and knew that one wrong move could mean catastrophe. They both stared each other down with their sharp eyes. While Sanzu sat straight and elegantly, Ryouta perched his chin on his folded hands while his arms rested on his legs.

"What on earth are you two doing?" You questioned, catching the attention of both of the boys. The second Ryouta heard your voice, he perked up and turned towards you with the biggest smile on his face.

"Hime-chan! You're back!" He exclaimed, jumping from his seat and making his way towards you, instantly taking you into a tight embrace. Hanami squealed and jumped back, almost getting pushed back by the white-haired male.

You chuckled at the older boy's actions. "Ryo-kun, I just saw you earlier this morning when I arrived!"

"Yeah but," With no warning, Ryouta's slender fingers found themselves under your chin as he made you look up at him. Your eyes widened at how close he suddenly was. "I missed you, y'know~"

Sanzu's eyes narrowed at the sight, but he remained in his spot, suppressing the odd feeling he was experiencing in his chest.

"Ryo-kun, stop it!" You chuckled nervously, instantly turning your head and pushing the boy's face away with your hand.

"Why, why?!" The male pouted, trying to pull you in closer but eventually letting you have your freedom. "Aw, it's not like I get to see you so often anymore!"

"Well I am coming here more often now," You reminded him, straightening out your shirt. "It's just you're either gone on some business meeting or whatever with dad." The moment you mentioned your father, he walked in the room with his wife by his side. "Speak of the devil..." Grumbling under your breath, you walked up to your parents and greeted them with kisses on the cheek, along with a tight hug for your mother.

"How was your day with your friends, hon?" [mother] asked as you both pulled away from the embrace. You smiled at her and was about to answer when a worried look set on her face as she noticed a bruise above your eye that you had gotten from today's training session. "Wait, did someone hurt you?!"

"I'm okay, mom!" You chuckled nervously, removing her hand from your head and instead holding it in your own. "Don't worry!"

Your mother bit her lip and you noticed how her eyes flickered back and forth between your gaze and the bruise. You could tell she was conflicted and so you pulled her in for another embrace. "I've been so worried about you ever since your accident. I know you don't want to but I really want you to move back here!" She told you as she returned your embrace.

"I know, I know." You responded, "But remember that I'm a grown girl! I'm going to get hurt no matter where I go and that's just how life goes."

"But at least when you do get hurt you'll be with me." [mother] countered, twinkling eyes staring right into yours.

You sighed, not wanting to continue arguing with your mother about the topic that she already knew the answer to. Instead, you opted to talk about something else, "Anyways~ Christmas is in about two weeks! I'll be coming home for that, so don't worry!"

What you expected to be your mother's happy response instead ended up being her suddenly looking troubled and avoiding eye contact. From behind you, you heard your father clear his throat and you turned around to face him. "About that, sweetheart..."

"What...? What is it?"

Ryouta crossed his arms and clicked his tongue as he watched the scene. Sanzu eyed him before looking back at you and your parents.

"We won't be here for the holidays." Your father blatantly said.

"What?!" You let the word blurt out of your mouth before you could even control it, and you shook your head to speak in a calmer manner. "Why not?"

"Your father, Ryouta and I have business matters to attend to overseas during, [name]." [mother] informed you, gazing at you with apologetic eyes.

Raising a brow, you turned to look at her. "And this really had to happen during the holidays? Aren't you supposed to be on vacation during then? And how come I can't just go with you!"

To say you were mad would be correct, but it wasn't all that this was. You were mad, yes, but you were more so disappointed. Christmas was one of your favourite holidays, solely for the purpose of the joyous spirit during that time. You have chosen to live separate from your family, yes, but you still valued the time you spent with them during the holidays. You have never gone a single year in your life not having spent Christmas without your parents.

Will you be all alone?

"It's an important business trip, [name]. I hope you understand."

"How come I can't go?"

"We will try to get back as soon as we can."

"So it'll just be me, Hanami and Hanako then?" You questioned, annoyed at them avoiding your question. However, knowing your parents, you knew they wouldn't answer if they didn't want to so you simply moved on.

[mother] pouted. She was about to open her mouth when your father spoke in her stead. "Hanako will be coming with us as well. And as it is during the Christmas holidays, she has requested Hanami to tag along so she can spend it with her little sister."

Your eyes widened at his explanation. What bull! "So you allowed Hanami to come per Hanako's request but you won't allow your own daughter to come along?!"

At this point, the tone of your voice was getting louder and louder while you did your best to keep it from cracking. You were heart broken. You wanted to spend the holidays with your family. You needed to. 

You needed them.

The room was silent as your parents refused to say anything else. Being fed up with their bullshit, you turned around and stormed out of the room. "Ah- sweetie!" You heard your mother call out to you but you didn't look back and just kept walking away.

"Miss [name], leaving already?" Hanako and Hanami paused in their tracks as you passed by them. The sisters watched you in worry as you stormed away without so much as a glance their way.

It's not like that was how you wanted to act towards the two girls, and you definitely knew it wasn't their fault, but you held a dislike for them for being able to spend time with your parents for the holidays while you would be all alone. Same goes for Ryouta as well, who you figured by now would be making some big scene due to you leaving without as much as a goodbye.

But you didn't care. You wanted to get out of that room as soon as possible. You looked and felt like a fool in there, asking your parents for what you felt should be normal in families. Feeling your heart break once more, you sniffled and let the tears silently fall as you exited the doors.

As you walked out the room, Sanzu instantly got up from his seat and followed you without saying goodbye to anyone in the room. Unbeknownst to him, a certain man followed behind him and watched as the masked male caught up to you outside.

With a smirk on his face, he pulled out his ringing phone and brought up the device to his ear. "Hello?... Yeah, of course the meeting is still on!... There will be food right? I'm pretty hungry...Gah! You're the best! I'll meet you there then... Bye bye~"

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i'm excited for the next chapter :3

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