3,229 words 

|the real world|

Steve's POV

"Woah, woah, Sebby, you can't just start the next movie so fast, I'm having a breakdown over here!" I dramatically exclaim with a sniffle from where I sit huddled into the corner of the couch, soft blanket pulled up to my neck. Thor excused himself about forty minutes ago, sleep deprivation got to be too much on him. We just finished the first Captain America film, and my mental health has severely plummeted.

Sebastian pauses his movements by the shelf that holds all his movies, head lifting up, clear blue eyes flickering to mine, a pleased smile tugging at his lips, "Did you just call me 'Sebby'?" He asks giddily, tongue in teeth smile cheering me up just a smidge.

I use the blanket to wipe some tears from my warm cheeks. I sniffle again, "Yeah? That okay? You got somethin' against nicknames?" I quietly ask, heart still reeling from what I just had to watch. It's one thing to relive those moments in my nightmares, but to visually see them again? That inflicted a whole other kind of pain on me. To watch Bucky fall from that train, to see it play out exactly like it happened. God, I'm still having difficulty breathing. It was like one of my nightmares amplified a thousand percent, perfectly designed to break my heart all over again.

He pulls a dvd box from the shelf, shrugging his shoulders as he opens it, "Not at all. That's just a nickname Chris tends to call me." He sweetly explains, trying to make it sound nonchalant, but there's traces of emotion in his voice that I don't miss. Can't miss. I'd like to think I've got him figured out fairly well now, tend to have a decent understanding of what's going on in his mind. I can successfully uncover what hides within those lovely blue eyes of his.

Ah. It all comes back to him, doesn't it? Sebastian and Bucky both have become so wrapped around Chris' goddamn finger, creating an unbelievable amount of jealousy inside me. Don't think I've ever been this envious in my life, or this enraged. Is he really that much better than I? It's clear that they'd both choose him over me any day, but that obvious fact doesn't make it any easier for me to accept. I stand up from the couch, my stomach grumbling, "Shouldn't that pizza have been delivered by now?" I murmur bitterly, heading in the direction of the kitchen.

"Actually, yeah. Let me check the app." I quietly hear him reply right as I reach the kitchen, flipping the light on. An app? What ever happened to normal phone calls? When did things get so modernized? Miss the simpler days. There's a few things I like about this day and age, lgbt rights for example. Sebastian has informed me a lot on that topic, it really made me happy with the direction the human race has gone in that regard since the time period I was born in. But all this unnecessary technology? I can't get on board with that aspect of the modern era. At all.

I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and a handful of grapes to munch on while we wait for the pizza to arrive, jumping up on the kitchen island counter. Shooting star watch starts soon, we probably won't have time to take a nap at this point. My exhaustion is currently being drowned out by my sadness, probably wouldn't be able to sleep now even if I tried because of it.

I gotta say, the only non-accurate part of the film was the way they portrayed my relationship with Peggy. Things between us weren't as fairytale and romantic as they displayed it, she was simply a nice distraction for me. She was a friend. That's all she ever would've been at the end of the day. The writers clearly wanted to pull attention away from my relationship with Bucky, used Peggy to do it. That isn't fair to her either, watering her story down like that. They made her out to be a meaningless love interest, she was much more than that. She was badass Peggy Carter, she didn't need a forced relationship with me to come across as interesting. She was enough all on her own.

"Hey, what ya thinking about there?" Sebastian softly asks, suddenly appearing in the room, hitting my dangling foot with his hand.

I've been spaced out, holding a grape in my mouth. I chew it quickly, swallowing it down before I remove my eyes from the wall, meeting Sebastian's curious blues, "Just about the movie." I coyly say, popping another grape into my mouth, "I'm nervous to watch the next one. Don't want to see any lies about my life."

He slips his phone into his back pocket, jumping up onto the counter in the empty spot next to me, "It was written by a bunch of money hungry people, Steve. Don't take it personal." He sighs, patting my leg with his hand as a gesture of reassurance. "The pizza is supposed to be arriving in a couple minutes anyway. We can distract ourselves with some cheesy goodness-"

The doorbell rings, cutting Sebastian's sentence off. He wiggles his eyebrows, "It has arrived." He grins. "Come with me?" He extends his hand as he jumps down.

I arch my left brow, eyes flickering to his hand and then gradually moving up to his face. He's so much like Bucky, yet so different. I'm convinced this world is genuinely real now, not a cooked up illusion designed to trip me up. Sebastian is real. He isn't Bucky. But I like him just the same anyway. "What if it's actually a mob of crazed teenage fans?" I frown, paranoia getting the better of me.

He reaches out, poking my nose with his finger, causing me to immediately scrunch it up,"Then we'll close the door and hide under my bed with Dodger."

"Doubt the three of us could fit under there."

"We'd manage." He grins, smile growing as I give in, lacing our fingers together just before I jump down from the counter. "I ordered three pizzas, since our pal Thor eats like a horse." He laughs as we head towards the front door, swinging our intertwined hands, "Couldn't risk not having enough for you to eat your feelings with."

"I don't use food to fill the void inside me, Sebby. I use Dodger." I correct him, tightening my hold on his hand as a shudder runs through me. Sebastian laughs, but the sound feels further away than it's meant to. He's standing right next to me, his warm hand holding my own, but he feels far. Something feels wrong, but not on our end. Is Chris okay? My connection to him has gotten stronger, though still feels one sided. I can feel his emotions stronger now, almost hear the very thoughts racing through his mind. There's more to it now though, a coldness that's settled between our worlds. It chills my skin, causes my teeth to slightly chatter as we reach the door, my hand reluctantly slipping from Sebastian's.

I spot traces of confusion in his eyes just before he looks ahead, opening the door. I don't bother waiting around, heading towards the nearest bathroom so I can sort through the emotions I'm feeling that aren't mine to experience. I'm stopped, just before I reach the bathroom door, by Sebastian, "Uh, Chris? Can you come over here for a second?" He sounds almost scared? Words being dragged out. He called me Chris, this must be serious. Maybe it's a cast member.

I turn on my heel, not hesitating to come to his aid. I expect to find him struggling to hold all the pizzas, maybe wanting to hand one off to me. My mouth waters at the thought of some freshly made pizza. I wonder, did he order it from his favorite place again? The pizza from there is heavenly. What I didn't expect was to see a man standing outside that isn't a pizza delivery guy at all. He moves his gaze from Sebastian, meeting my eyes instead, his captivating green eyes piercing into my duller blue. I gulp.

This must be the actor that plays him, right? Yeah, 'course. It can't actually be him. Thor and I are the only ones that switched. Yeah. Sebastian steps back a little, letting him walk inside the house, hands not carrying the pizza I was so excited to receive. My heart is stuck in my throat, I can't form any words. Everything feels slower, my movements almost in slow motion as I extend my hand, "H-Hey." I stutter out, shyly smiling as his emerald colored eyes flicker to my hand and then back to my face.

He wickedly grins, longish black hair triggering memories in my head I tend to block out, "Captain, we can skip the pleasantries, I'm not here to have a sleepover."

Captain. He called me Captain. Wait a minute. My eyes widen, I stumble backwards, nearly falling to the floor as my back hits the side of the couch, "Loki?!" I shout, so loud my throat aches. I blink my eyes a few times, particularly thinking If I do it enough times he'll disappear. He's dressed in a solid black suit, hair slicked back atop his head. That's him alright.

Sebastian stands by the still open door, eyes unfocused as they gaze at the floor. He's stunned. Loki has broken him. I need to say something, begin grilling him with questions, demand explanations. I don't, I do the one thing I can think of right off the top of my head, "Thor!!" I practically scream, as vocal as I can muster, exhaling deeply immediately after.

Loki rolls his eyes, adjusting his left sleeve cuff, "Honestly, there's no need to call him in here. This doesn't regard him." He argues, accent exactly the way I remember. It's been a few years since I've seen him, back when he attacked New York. Can't see I'm pleased to be reunited.

"So you're really Loki then? You aren't Tom?" Sebastian finally asks, jumping into the unnerving conversation with crazed eyes.

Loki nods, grin never faltering, "Obviously." He gripes with a tsk, "My doppelgänger here is safely tucked away in his home, no need to start accusing me of injuring him."

"Why're you here?" I question, tone coming out less hostile than I intended.

"How are you here? If you didn't get switched?" Sebastian adds, stepping closer to me, though his eyes never leave Loki.

The God of mischief looks offended, shaking his head at the pair of us, "Switched? Please, I'm not an amateur. I can come and go between the universes any time I wish, I don't have to switch."

Sebastian seems to be handling this quite well, running his hand through his hair as his brows knit together, "Back to Steve's question then." He sternly demands, blue eyes clouding over, "Why're you here?"

I hear footsteps coming from upstairs, Ah, Thor's up. Good. Maybe he can get better answers out of his whack a doodle brother.

Sebastian and I watch the God walk gracefully across the living room and sit down in Sebastian's favorite armchair. He gets comfortable, placing his feet up on the coffee table, "My magic doesn't affect the universes or multiple realities. I can successfully jump whenever, without consequences. But then you idiots-," He points a finger at me, only me. He's referring to Chris and I. Oh boy. He winces, "decided to start ripping a massive hole in the skin of the universes, creating a wormhole that I can't close on my own."

"That's entirely Chris' fault, not mine!" I anxiously argue. Sebastian agrees, nodding his head vigorously.

Loki scoffs, snapping his fingers, a bowl of various fruits appearing on his lap. He eats some, judging eyes still glued to my face, "You've been partaking in sending that box thing back and forth, correct?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then you're also to blame for this mess. Sorry." He fake apologizes, grin reappearing as he stands, passing the bowl of fruit to Sebastian. "You're going to help me fix it." He isn't talking to me anymore, eyes trained on Sebastian, who's gone pale.

"Excuse me, what?" Sebastian snaps, quickly placing the bowl down on the coffee table and then burying his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. "What can I do? I'm not even really involved in this-"

"Just shut up and let me talk!" Loki shouts impatiently. Sebastian flinches, Loki's hands resting on his shoulders. I want to step in, ask why I can't help instead, but I fear it'll cause Sebastian's already fragile nerves to spike, so I remain a silent observer. Loki smiles, "That's better," He brushes Sebastian's shoulders off, "Now, allow me to explain."

"I'm all ears." Sebastian squeaks.

Loki sighs, "I can't simply switch Steve and Chris back with the wormhole already this large, it'll completely obliterate both of our worlds. There'd be no coming back from that, fellas." He glances over at me briefly, "I also can't take blondie over there with me, he's a flight risk that I'm not interested in dealing with."

"So you want me to come with you?" Sebastian boldly asks before Loki is given the chance to say it. He nods. I gulp.

And just when I thought things couldn't get anymore complicated. "What about Bucky? He's there too." I have to point out, since no one else is. Chris is there, with Bucky, Sebastian can't just be thrown in too. I'm going to be sick.

Loki rolls his eyes, "He'll stay there too. I just need Sebastian here to assist them with collecting the stones-"

"But why?" I step forward. Loki's green eyes fill with annoyance. "Why do you need any of us at all? Don't Chris and Bucky have it handled?" Just as the last word escapes my lips, a sharp hit is felt in my abdomen. I groan, falling forward onto the floor. My entire body aches, an unmeasurable amount of pain coming from my chest.

"Steve?" Sebastian shouts, bending down to my level and forcing my head up. I place my hand to my chest, feeling a wetness there. I raise my hand, tears springing in my eyes, blurring my vision. I can still unmistakably spot the fresh blood on my fingers, my hand trembling. My body is shaking, teeth gritting together as I let Sebastian lift my shirt, examine exactly what's going on.

"Your connection with Chris is too strong." Loki explains from behind Sebastian, seemingly unfazed by this whole thing, "That's why you can't come. You're so close now, that you'd morph into the same person if you stepped foot in the same world as him."

Sebastian's breath hitches, "He's been stabbed!" He lowers my shirt, placing his now blood covered hands to my face. I try to focus on his face through my teary eyed vision, "I'm going to clean the wound and then patch you up, sweetheart. Don't move. I don't think it hit anything serious, you're just bleeding a lot." He presses a sweet kiss to my forehead, thumbs stroking my skin before he stands, rushing off to the bathroom, leaving me with Loki.

"Don't take him." I beg through a wince, leaning back on the hardwood floor, propping myself up with my elbows, meeting Loki's emotionless eyes, "He doesn't belong there."

For a moment, I swear I spot some sympathy appear in those blank eyes of his. But it's gone too fast for me to confirm."It isn't as black and white as you think, Captain Rogers. Your destiny isn't just what you've decided it is."

I open my mouth, ready to ask him to elaborate, when Sebastian comes running back into the room. He holds a first aid kit in one hand, a washcloth in the other, I start to sit up, but he stops me, "Be still." He demands softly, lifting up my tee shirt, that's now coated in blood, and placing the warm washcloth to it.

I close my eyes, resting my head back on the rug, "Why exactly do you need my help? You've never said." Sebastian asks him. I grit my teeth together to hold back my groans of pain.

"Can't tell you yet. You're a vital part of the team I need to help close that wormhole, that's all the information you need to know at the moment."

Sebastian's placing medicine to my wound now, the cold substance creating goosebumps on my skin. He's gentle with his actions, trying his best to avoid hurting me. It's sweet. "When do we leave?"

"Preferably in five minutes or less."

My heart drops. Five minutes. All I got left with Sebastian is five minutes. It was supposed to be longer, we were meant to have more time. I open my eyes, the pain in my abdomen ignored, replaced by the pain of saying goodbye. Sebastian meets my gaze, small smile forming on his kind face, "Be still, Steve, I'm almost done." He whispers, beginning to place a bandage to the area. "After all this is over, we'll all return to our original universes?" He asks Loki now, though his oceanic eyes are still looking at me, smile turning sadder.

"If that's what you desire. My job is to collect the stones and send them here, then everything will momentarily go white. Wherever your heart pulls you at that moment, that's where you'll end up."

Sebastian lowers my shirt and then holds out his hand, I take it, letting him pull me to my feet. "Guess this is it then." I force myself to say, swallowing the lump in my throat. I feel more tears coming, but they aren't due to the wound. This wasn't how I imagined our goodbye to go. This is wrong.

He's putting on a brave face though, all smiles instead of frowns, "Thank you for letting me be apart of it all with you. For trusting me. For just, letting me in." He shudders, "It's been an honor knowing you, Captain America." His voice cracks, bottom lip quivering. I shake his hand, gripping it tightly.

I don't let myself hug him, knowing I'll never let go if I do. "Take care of yourself while you're there. Don't let Bucky murder you or anything." I joke, unable to take this too seriously. He needs me to turn it into a joke, make it feel more lighthearted than it is. We were always meant to say goodbye to one another. That doesn't make it feel any better though. I let go of his hand. I let go of him.

"I'll convince his sorry ass that you're the one he needs to be fighting for." He vows with a saddened chuckle. "Promise."

I'm on the verge of a pathetic sobbing session. I need to hurry this along. "Good luck with that, he's more stubborn than you are."

"I highly doubt that, sweetheart." He grins, though it isn't a happy smile.

My chest feels heavy. I inhale deeply. "Seb-"

My heart breaks as Loki speaks up. Hell, I almost forgot he was there. "Time to go." He mumbles before placing his hand to Sebastian's shoulder, the pair vanishing in the blink of an eye. Just like that.

Gone.