3,354 words 

|the mcu world|

Chris' POV

The never ceasing sound of the droplets of water hitting the damp concrete has stopped making my teeth grit together in annoyance, a new found comfort in the noise settled inside me. My head hits against the concrete wall as I lean it back, eyes staring up at the cracked ceiling where the source of the water is coming from. My hands aren't chained now, my fingers running along the indentations the chains created on my wrists, though they've nearly healed now.

My stomach grumbles, internal clock informing me its almost time for me to eat. I huff my cheeks, blinking my eyes a few times just to give me something to do besides look around this bland cell. The sun has begun to set outside, light shining in through the small window that's too high for me to reach, unless I use Steve's impressive jumping abilities. I'm too lazy.

I hear the familiar sound of the front door opening, my ears perking up. I don't bother raising my head, opting to listen for the footsteps, that begin to grow closer, "Hungry?" Tony coldly asks, loudly clearing his throat like he's getting the attention of a dog. I raise my head now, meeting his brown eyes that look right through me, same as every other visitor I've received since I've been in this grand place. He holds a tray of a nice looking meal though, not fast food like I've previously gotten, "Bucky got you this, wanted you to eat something nutritious or some shit." He unlocks the latch with the key and opens it, sliding the tray inside the slot. I grab it, remaining on my spot in the floor, "Feel like confessing anything today? Aren't you tired of denying it?"

I sigh, tilting my head at him as I take a bite of the bread, "Tony, I'm innocent. There's nothing for me to confess." I croak out, dry throat more scratchy than I thought. I cough, taking the bottle of water from him as he places it through the bars. "You guys can let me out of here, this is getting ridiculous."

He wraps his fists around the bars, observing me with those wise eyes of his, "Sharon Carter had quite a lot to say about you today." He voices with a slight tone of amusement, using it to mask his obvious worry.

I toss the tray down on the ground in front of me, jumping up and getting as close to him as I can with these metal bars separating us,"It's all bullshit." I snap harshly, placing my hands next to his, staring into those chocolate colored eyes that look ever so curiously back at me, "Tony, come on, you can trust me. After everything, you can trust me. I'd never hurt any of you, you know that. I'm your friend."

"It kills me to see you in there, despite you probably thinking I somewhat enjoy it. I want you out just as much as Bucky does-"

I do the same thing I've done since I've arrived here, I try to persuade him to release me,"Then let me out. We can go home, forget this happened. We need to be focus on our enemies, not let them convince us to turn on each other."

A few different emotions flash through his eyes and on his face, but I don't let myself raise my very low expectations. If anyone will eventually let me out of here, it won't be Tony Stark. He trusts Bucky more than me right now, how ironic is that? "As soon as we figure out how they control you and how to reverse it, you're out of here. Alright? Hang in there, Capsicle."

He steps back from my cell, putting his signature sunglasses on, hiding how badly this is hurting him. I tighten my grip on the bars, so pissed he designed this cell specifically for Steve's abilities. I can't escape even if I tried. "Can I see Bucky?" Is my last request, voice smaller now, heart pounding inside my ribcage. I haven't dared ask this yet, too afraid they'd tell me no, but I miss him. I miss him terribly.

He answers fast, too fast, like he already knew I'd ask this. "Nope, sorry. You're his weakness, we bring Barnes in here and you'll convince him to let you out. Can't stand the guy some days, but I'm not gonna let you murder him."

I shake my head, clenching my jaw, gripping the bars as tightly as possible, but it does nothing. I might as well be powerless in this hell hole."I'd never hurt Bucky."

"Let's keep it that way. You got one more visitor coming in ten, so eat up." He informs me casually before walking off, I fall back to the floor. I refuse to comply, pushing the tray away with my foot. Fuck this. I could've prevented this, somehow. Hell, maybe I should just break out of here and get the stones, let Steve deal with this mess when we switch back. I'm over it. Being Steve is a pain in the ass, and not the good kind of pain that I envisioned.

Though I'd like to remain stubborn, I end up eating the food anyway. Bucky got it for me, I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. I down the water quickly too, but my throat still feels dry. I can't win here, goddamnit.

"Hey." My head jerks up, meeting the eerily familiar blue, I actually smile too, for the first time since I've been here, "Sorry I didn't come sooner, they wouldn't let me. I've been laying low so they won't get suspicious of me."

I immediately jump up, still smiling. He looks tired, like he hasn't been sleeping much at all, "Chris, no one gives a damn about what Thor's doing, they think he's weird anyway."

He chuckles, but it's forced, not quite like the Chris Hemsworth laugh I know. "I can get you out of here pretty easily, you do realize that?"

I shrug, "Then they'll really be suspicious, which I'm really trying to avoid. Bucky won't ever trust me again if I leave, especially after I promised I'd comply." I kick a stray pea with my shoe before squishing it.

He rolls his eyes, "You shouldn't care what Bucky thinks. He isn't important here. We have work to do."

It stings to hear him call Bucky unimportant, even if that may be the mentality I need to be in, my heart can't take the thought of treating Bucky like he means nothing to me. Yeah, I've gotten attached, too attached. This was never my plan, but I'm in too deep now, I can't take any of it back, and I can't let him slip through my fingers just yet. "I love him." I rasp, leaning my head forward against the bars as I exhale a strangled breath, "I can't leave him, not until we have to go home."

Chris reaches in, patting my back with his hand, heavily sighing, "He's the problem here, man. He's got in your head, screwed up your priorities. You either have to let me break you out of here and let him go, or fess up."

"Fess up?" I gulp, staring down at my dirt covered boots as my eyes begin to fill with tears. I choke them back best I can.

He hums, patting my back once more before stopping, "Tell them the truth, the whole truth. It'd be better than them thinking you're working for Hydra."

I meet his sympathetic eyes, breathing momentarily ceasing completely, "I'd lose him anyway. If he knows the truth, he'll hate me." I squeak out, wanting to disappear. It'd all be over. No more loving touches, or the sweetest kisses I've ever gotten, and fuck, no more of him looking at me like I'm the whole goddamn universe. It'd break my heart just as much as it'll break his to know he never had Steve at all, only a cheap knockoff.

"He was never yours to lose,"

Fuck. I hold back the tears threatening to fall, wiping at my face with my trembling hands as Chris watches me fall apart. Because it's true. Part of me knew when I was in that car with Bucky, that it'd be one of the last times he'd look at me like he loved me, like I'm Steve. "I could say I'm Steve from another universe!" I stutter out, tugging at my hair and pacing around the cell, "Or that I am Steve, but I've been acting weird because I wanted to protect them from the mission that was assigned to me-"

"You want to fix this mess with more lies?" He cuts me off, laughing bitterly, "Bud, just let it go." He pleads, "You can't play this role any longer, it's over. Let him go."

"I want to stay." My voice cracks, pain slipping through the cracks of the tough exterior I've built up in the two weeks I've been in this cell. Chris' eyes widen slightly. "I don't want to go home, Chris. I want to stay."

"For him?" He shakes his head, wiping off his mouth with his arm as he finishes chewing the apple he's been eating, "A man that only loves you because he thinks you're someone else? That isn't fair to either of you." He reaches into the front pocket of his jacket, "Read this. Then tell me if you still want to stay."

He tosses me the magic box I was so convinced was gone forever, the velvet feels softer against the skin of my palm. I can only stare down at it, no words forming on my lips. "I'll be back in the morning, let me know what you wanna do then."

I don't respond, listening to him walk off, opening the box to reveal a white piece of paper. I pull it out, hands still trembling. I remain standing this time, not wanting to sit back down on that hard concrete floor. I carefully unfold the paper, surprised by how much is written. It's the longest one yet, and that isn't because of Steve. Sebastian's handwriting takes up most of the paper. There's stuff written on both sides, he must really have a lot to say.

Steve here, just wanted to say thank you for helping save my friends, because I haven't gotten over my pride long enough to do that yet. You're right too, it'd hurt Bucky to know the truth, but he does deserve to hear it. No pressure though. Don't take him from me, please? I haven't even gotten to really have him yet.
Take care of yourself.
-Steve

Short and very Steve, doesn't surprise me. I'm glad he's not totally pissed at me though, when he certainly has a right to be. I reread his before I continue on to Sebastian's, his messy beautiful handwriting so familiar and present, even though he's so far away. I decide to sit down again, head spinning.

Still can't believe my only way to talk to you is through a magic box, we're basically in a crappy kids show. Steve is really nice. I like him. He isn't you though. He doesn't sing along with me when those terrible songs we love so much come on the radio, or try weird foods on menus at fancy restaurants that even the employees warn us not to get. He doesn't get me the way you do, no one ever has. When he speaks, it doesn't sound quite like you. The familiarity is there, but you aren't. It's only been a couple days since you've been gone, we've been separated for way longer over the years. But you've never been so far from me. I can't call you to check in, or search up your name online to make sure you'll doing well, like I once did when you never answered your phone.

I'm out of my mind here without you. I'm doing my best to watch after him, Thor now too, but I can't lie, I'm terrified. I'm terrified you aren't going to come home, not because you can't, but because you won't want to. I know you love Bucky, same as Steve does. But I love you. We never talked about it like we should have, that's my fault. It's all my fault. I want to fix it though, so badly. I want you to be here. I'll respect your choice if you do decide to stick around there, but I'll never forgive myself if I don't tell you how I feel first. I love you. I've loved you since you were that young cocky actor that dreamt of being on the big screen, long before I was on it with you. I'll love you even if you pick him.
But please, pick me?
Yours, Sebastian

Sebastian loves me? I trace the handwriting with my shaking fingers, but it isn't fresh, it doesn't smell of him, of home. I can still hear his voice in my head as my eyes scan each line, but I can't feel his presence anymore, Bucky's has overpowered it. I must reread his words ten times before I clutch the letter to my chest, tears drifting down my cheeks, no longer being held in. I quietly sob, hitting the floor with my fist so hard it creates a large crack that ends right in front of my empty food tray. I've royally fucked up everything to the point where Sebastian is blaming himself. I got Bucky involved, bringing his heart into the mix. I wouldn't have— if I had known Sebastian felt that way I wouldn't—

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need to go home. I need to get out of here. But I- "Stevie?" I bury the letter and box into my pocket as fast as I can as I look over, seeing Bucky standing there looking as pretty as ever.

He looks beyond sleep deprived, but it's a good look on him, he's holding a set of keys. He's letting me out of here. "Are you crying?" He asks in the uttermost concern, unlocking the cell immediately and stepping in, bending down to my face, wiping away my tears with the pad of his thumbs as he cups my face in his large hands, "Baby.." he draws out softly, warm breath hitting my tear soaked face, "It's okay. I'm here now, doll, we can go home."

I want him to hold me one last time, be protectively wrapped up in those muscular arms, feel safe. I just want to pretend he's mine for a little while longer, but I can't. I can't do this to him anymore. "Bucky." I choke out, swallowing hard, "I need to tell you something." I search his eyes one last time, wanting to truly and completely memorize, how it felt to be looked at with some much unconditional love.

He leans in, closing the distance between us. It's our last kiss, I can feel it. His lips move against mine passionately, I can feel the adoration he feels towards me laced within it, his hands stroking my face as I allow my lips to move back against his, my shaking hands resting on his waist. I change my angle so he can deepen the kiss, tongue slipping into my mouth as a needy groan comes from the back of my dry throat. "Fuck, I missed you." He pulls back to whisper, pupils blown, my lips slick from his mouth. He goes right back in, tugging at my bottom lip with his teeth. He tastes of cigarettes and blueberry candy, my new favorite combination.

His talented hands slide down to my chest, dull fingernails of his warm hand scratching at the fabric of my shirt. He slowly pushes me back, my back hitting the cold hard floor beneath me, his legs straddling me, our kiss only deepening as my hands tangle in his shirt, pulling and jerking him down closer as his hands wander down to the zipper of my jeans, "I missed you so damn much, been going mad wanting to see you." He says breathlessly, unzipping my jeans with ease, "I can make it better, Stevie. Let me show you how much I missed you."

This is the part where I should shut this down before it escalates further, because things have already gone too far. This is a mistake. Sebastian is waiting for me back home, while Steve is waiting to go home to be with the man that's currently got his tongue down my throat. It's been two weeks since I've communicated with them, I can't do this. I really, really shouldn't.

I push him back a little, him groaning in disapproval, pouting his now beautifully swollen lips that I could spend the rest of my time here kissing, if I wanted to continue being a selfish bastard. I untangle my hands from his shirt and place them in his hair, the softness of the strands making me smile as I brush through them. He's got a dazed expression, blue eyes blown out and absolutely breathtaking, "I love you. I'm so sorry I've done this to you, I was being selfish. I've never been selfish like this before, but I just wanted you so bad. I'm so sorry."

Confusion fills his features, but those eyes still hold so much love within them, love he still has for me. I'm about to erase it, rip out his heart. He relaxes into my touch, hands slipping underneath my shirt right above my jeans, warm fingers dancing along the skin there."You can be cryptic later, darlin', just kiss me right now. I'll go crazy if you don't,"

Everything inside me aches, burns, pleads for me to withhold the truth for a tad bit longer, "I can't." I push him off me and sit up, burying my face in my hands. It'd be terrifyingly easy to be this way with him longer, be the Steve to his Bucky forever. Sebastian wants me home, Sebastian loves me. It isn't one sided after all. The guilt is eating me alive now, and the gravity of what I've done with Bucky is setting in. What the hell have I done?

His hands card themselves through my hair, "Did I do something wrong?" He sweetly asks, automatically thinking he's the one in the wrong here. He's perfect. He's everything I can never have.

I raise my head, "Like I said, Buck, there's something I need to tell you."

He zips my jeans and then softly smiles at me for a few moments before he takes my hands, pulling me up to my feet with him. "Hush, doll, let's go home. You can tell me on the way." He releases one of my hands, still holding my other with his metallic one, trying to pull me along with him towards the exit, but I resist.

I pull my hand from his, shaking my head, he looks hurt. Fresh tears blur my vision,"I can't go with you, Bucky!" I helplessly shout, shoving him back, "I have to tell you the truth."

He doesn't let me go that easily, grabbing ahold of the collar of my shirt. I'm glad I didn't have to wear that suit the whole time in here, but these clothes Tony brought me aren't much better. I look like a fuck boy. He pulls me into his chest, letting my tears soak his shirt, my fists clutching onto it. "Just breathe, Stevie. I'm here now, we can leave if you want, start over some place else. If you still want me."

This has gone on long enough, I've caused too much damage. It's time the truth comes out, it's way overdue. He'll hate me, but at least I'm prepared for it. He's holding me so tenderly, swaying us back and forth a little, "I'm sorry it took me so long to convince them to let you out. Tony worries too much-"

"I'm not Steve,"