Smut warning!! Also, sorry the last chapter was so short, hope this one makes up for it, it's my longest one yet :)

5,229 words 

|the mcu world|

Chris' POV

I sleep in, late, really late. I'm warm, still wrapped up in Bucky's arms, his gentle breath tickling my skin. I don't want to get up, I realize, faintly hearing the rhythmic beating of his heart and feeling it against my back. I could stay here forever with him and be completely okay with it. My eyes scan the room, the sunlight shining in through the small opened part of the curtains. There's no clock in the room, no way of me finding out what time it is. Steve's phone is still in my pocket though, I can check that.

I raise my arm slowly, Bucky groaning automatically, burying his face deeper into the crook of my neck, "Steve, stay." He begs groggily, arms tightening around me protectively. "Stay with me." He whispers softly. I manage to pull the phone from my pocket without moving too much. My eyes widen, its 10 am. What the fuck. Oh no. Why didn't I set an alarm??? Shit.

"I'm late." I inform him lightly, exhaling a deep breath. He groans again, lips parting on my neck, "Buck-" he begins sleepily kissing my overly sensitive skin, his stubble tickling me. I smile.

His removes his arms from around me and uses them to flip us over instead, him now on top of me, a mischievous smile growing on his face as he stares down at me, hair falling in his face beautifully, "Just ditch them, stay with me. We can have fun. If you want." He says huskily, running his hands up and down my sides slowly, him casually straddling me now. But he feels light as a feather, there no pressure on me at all. God bless the serum.

I crack a smile, unable to bring myself to do anything else. What the fuck would Steve do in this situation? His hands creep underneath my shirt, his cold metallic fingers creating goosebumps on my skin as they run along my sides, moving towards my chest, "Can I try something?" He asks, cocking his head to the side and raising his eyebrows, smile turning softer. Consent is hot.

I'm not awake enough for this, Jesus. I wish Sebastian was this persistent, that he wanted me as much as Bucky seems to want Steve. Damnit, why can't I just be Steve? Permanently? Or least right now? I need to respect what Steve wants, and that's Bucky. He wants Bucky. He doesn't want me near Bucky. That's fair. That's valid. But he's just so perfect, I want him too. He's got me trapped under him, hands messing with the bottom of my shirt, clearly wanting to rid me of it. I don't want to tell him to stop, I'm getting tired of running away.

"Yeah, you can." I find myself granting, giving him the permission I should be saving solely for the man back home that's waiting for me, the man I can never have, at least, not this way. It feels wrong, like I'm about to cheat on the boyfriend I don't have. I don't like it. It makes my stomach twist and turn, my throat closing up as Bucky smiles and starts lifting my shirt upwards, the slightest touch of his hands against my bare skin making my mind shut down.

I sit up more, my head hitting the headboard as I raise my arms, letting him remove my shirt. He tosses it onto the bed and then racks his eyes down my chest, a wild look flickering in those stormy blue eyes of his I've grown so fond of, "You're so beautiful." He confidently compliments, his warm hand tracing my abs and the muscles of my chest, a quiet hum escaping my lips. His metallic hand is resting on my hipbone, fingers fumbling with the waistband of my jeans, "You've always been beautiful." He continues to praise, leaning down to me, his clothed chest pressing to my bare one.

I expect him to kiss me, wait for it. I've already thought up my excuse as to why he can't, ready to use it the second his lips touch mine, but they never do. Instead he rests his forehead onto mine, hands in my hair, them pulling at the strands before carding through them gently, "I could make you feel so good, Stevie, if you'd let me. If you didn't have her." He whispers softly, lips so close to mine I can practically feel them. His morning breath doesn't smell bad either, I breathe in the intoxicating scent of him as he stares into my eyes, his gorgeous lips parted slightly, "I wish you could love me, or at least want me." He exhales, an unmeasurable amount of pain swirling in his darkening blue grey eyes.

"I do." I mumble stupidly. I think my restraint has reached its end, I don't have the strength to deny him anymore. Don't really see a point to it. I don't have anyone that loves me like this back home, or wants me this badly. Yeah, I know he only wants me because he thinks I'm Steve, but fuck it. I'm done telling him no.

"What?" He smiles, cupping my face with his hands, but there's a look of hesitation in his eyes, "You want me or you love me?" He questions, voice dripping with desperation and need.

My breath hitches in my throat, "Buck." I gulp nervously, "You can-" I sigh and softly smile up at him, "You can kiss me now."

He looks at my lips one more time before gently pressing his lips to mine, and I can hear his own heart pounding in his chest like a drum. I hesitantly kiss back, hands trembling at my sides. I put one on his waist, digging my nails in a little, earning me a pleased sound in return.

His lips are so soft that it's almost hard to believe they belong to a guy, especially Bucky Barnes. And he's so gentle with me, like he fears I'm going to fall apart if he's too rough. He pulls me closer, deepening the kiss a little, making my heart do somersaults.

He kisses differently than Sebastian, Bucky kisses me like he wants to consume me, it's exhilarating. Sebastian's kisses were calculated and reluctant, since we were only acting. It wasn't real with him. But this—this is real.

"Don't you dare leave me now, Rogers." He growls against my lips, moaning softly as I tug at his bottom lip with my teeth.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I pant in-between kisses, "Everyone else can wait,"

He smirks against my lips, kissing me rougher, grabbing my waist, clearly gaining some confidence. I moan involuntarily, hearing our heartbeats mixing together, I kiss back faster, trying to keep up the same pace. I start to undo my jeans, but he stops me, pulling back and moving his lips to my neck, slapping my hands away and undoing them for me, the sound of the zipper filling my ears, "I got it."

I shiver slightly, trying to calm down a peg, "I was supposed to make breakfast for Peter, and then train him. I won't have time to do that now." I tell him breathlessly, trying to distract myself from how good his lips feel on my neck.

He chuckles, darkly, pulling back to remove his own shirt. I let myself look this time, memorize the gorgeous muscles that flex and tremble under my touch, "I'll help you." He mumbles, slowly pulling down my jeans, "I'm an excellent teacher." He assures me with a hum before brushing his lips against my jaw, his shirt thrown across the room.

I feel my cheeks reddening more, "I don't doubt that." I gulp, I can barely breathe at all, I run my hands along his chest, touching his perfectly sculpted abs. He has a few scars on his chest that I know are from fighting and the torture Hydra put him through, and strangely, they make him even hotter.

He completely removes my jeans and then starts pulling down his sweatpants, holding eye contact with me the entire time. I watch in awe, his hair covering part of his face. When he's done, the reality of the situation begins to set in. Holy fuck. What am I doing?

He chuckles, leaning back down to me again, kissing my neck sweetly, "It's okay, Stevie. I got you." He whispers soothingly, creating goosebumps in his wake, his teeth grazing against my sensitive skin. "I got you, doll."

I sharply inhale, my lungs burning, "We really don't have time for this, Buck." I bite down on my bottom lip to suppress a needy whimper, nails digging into his back, which makes him moan in approval.

He rests his forehead on my shoulder, hesitantly running his fingers over the elastic of my underwear, "We have all the time in the world, darlin'."

I breathe unevenly, "Call me that again," I smile, panting a little, "Please?"

He hums, slowly pulling down my underwear while holding eye contact, stunning blue irises filled with lust, and an insatiable hunger, "Darling, Stevie, so sweet and handsome," he praises with a smirk.

I shake my head, grinning widely, "Come here, you idiot," I mumble before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down, connecting our lips.

He smiles into the kiss and places his hand on my lower back, this kiss a lot rougher than our previous ones, because he's getting impatient, his cock clearly needing attention. I can feel it through the thin fabric of his boxers as it presses down onto mine. I slip my tongue into his mouth, causing him to growl, him pressing his metal hand to the headboard above my head, his other hand on my waist.

I hold back another whimper, carding my hands through his silky dark brown hair. I tug at it a little, causing him to gasp, he likes hair pulling, nice to know.

He pulls back, smirking at me. I smile, watching his tongue run across his bottom lip before moving down to kiss my neck, but he starts moving down, dragging his teeth down my skin, "You're being such a good boy, Steve." He praises me, voice so sultry I can barely handle it.

I hum, leaning my head back against the headboard and closing my eyes, a quiet moan slipping from my lips without my permission. He continues downwards, slightly sucking at the skin on my hipbone, "The prettiest boy I've ever seen." He gradually drags his talented mouth up my stomach and starts kissing my neck until he locates my sweet spot, then he gently bites down.

I jump, a low moan leaving my mouth as I grab ahold of his waist, "I'm your good boy, Buck," I swallow hard, unable to stop myself from reaching between us and grabbing his aching member through his boxers, which I desperately want to get off him. I do, pulling them down his gorgeous thighs, biting down on the inside of my cheek roughly as he lifts his hips off me a little so he can completely remove them.

My hand flies to his now exposed cock, which yeah, is bigger than I thought it would be. Holy shit. I wrap my hand around it and pull slightly. He growls in approval, thrusting into my hand, "Please." He pleads against the skin of my neck, biting down again when I gently begin to stroke him.

He bites down harder when I begin to stroke a little faster, rubbing the tip, making him moan helplessly into my shoulder, his metallic hand grabbing at the headboard so tight I hear it crack, his other hand digging possessively into my waist, "Faster," he begs, panting, "Do it faster, Steve, please, I need-"

"Can I suck it instead?" I suggest, my own voice raspy. My own cock twitching at the image, mixed with his thigh rubbing against it every few seconds.

He raises his head from my shoulder and meets my eyes, "You serious?" He mumbles in a daze, swallowing hard.

I nod, kissing him wantonly, and he's so responsive, his tongue slipping into my mouth, hands wrapping around my neck, "Unless you don't want me to," I say, drawing back from him.

He nods quickly, "No, that isn't what I meant-"

I smile shyly, "You sure? I don't want to do anything you don't want me to-"

"Oh my god, for fucks sake, Steve. Please?" He interrupts, a desperation to his voice that makes my heart flutter in a way it shouldn't. He kisses me, roughly, pleading with me, "Please, good boy?"

I can't make him wait any longer. We change positions, him sitting up, back pressed against the headboard, eyes watching my every move as I bend down. I start slow and experimental, giving him one last long stroke that causes him to grind himself upwards into my hand, needing more fiction, "Steve," he whines, I hear him groan impatiently, "I can't wait anymore, please just-"

I press my lips to his left inner thigh, kissing all along the gorgeous skin. I've always been obsessed with his thighs, need to love on them for a second. I kiss upwards towards his cock, that's leaking with precum and so desperate to be touched. He's watching me, biting down on his bottom lip as I bite down on his perfect inner thigh roughly, his head falls back, a low moan escaping his lips, "Steve, please?" He begs. I start, placing my lips to his thick cock, cutting him off. I've never done this before, hope I'm not terrible.

It's just a simple lick, from base to tip, at first. One quick run with my tongue. He makes a quiet noise, clearly making an effort to keep himself from moaning, and I smile. He'll give up holding back soon enough. I stare up into his blue eyes as I finally wrap my lips around him and sink down slowly.

And surprisingly, I don't gag at all. Which he seems to relish in, bucking his hips.

I start shallow and easy. Somewhat slow and lazy. Just working him up. As a reward, he makes soft, low groans every now and then. His metallic hand remains in my hair, gradually getting tighter, while the human one cups the side of my face and a thumb pets my cheek. The gestures encourage me to pick up my pace and go deeper, wanting to hear him make more of those heavenly sounds.

Before long, I take him as deep as I can, almost reaching the base. His sounds are getting louder and more frequent, but they aren't out of control yet. He's not lost, he hasn't fallen apart.

I continue doing this, going down as far as I can, holding a moment, and then swallowing.

"You're so good at this, what the fuck?"

When I come back up this time, I send him a self satisfied grin. "Am I a good boy, Barnes?"

He begins to say something but is cut off by my mouth. This time it's all messy enthusiasm. Just trying to get reactions from that gorgeous mouth of his. He gives them to me in spades. Low sounds and occasional swears, tight fingers in my hair, bucking hips. I'm loving this. It's a loss of control I crave. I have him in the palm of my hand.

It isn't long before his sounds get strained and breathy, a sure sign that he's getting close to the edge. I work harder, settling into the burn of my jaw and the raw feeling at the back of my throat. I go down deep again and swallow once more.

"Fuck yes." He tugs roughly at my hair, nails scratching my scalp, "Do that again," he begs, he thrusts himself into my mouth, "Please, baby boy?"

The pet name nearly makes me fall apart.

I do it again, going as deep as I can as quick as I can, he thrusts himself into my mouth again, "That's it, Stevie. I'm so close, do it again, please? Fuck."

I try to go deeper this time, swirling my tongue around, focusing on the sounds coming from his mouth, the loud uncontrolled moaning, the needy whimpers and beautiful groans. He's stopped trying to stay quiet, he's so vocal and desperate for release, tugging roughly at my hair, thrusting a little faster, begging for more, "You're such a good boy, Steve. Taking me like this, darlin'-"

I go as fast as I can, hollowing out my cheeks. His body jerks, him cursing under his breath as I reach the base of his cock and then slowly go back and forth, gradually picking up my pace, "Fuck, yes, I can't take much more, just a little more, Stevie-" he's falling apart, a complete moaning mess, so goddamn sinfully vocal.

I know everyone can hear us, he knows it too. I go faster, wanting to test to see how loud I can actually get him to moan.

His moans echo off the walls, fingernails digging into my scalp. That's it.

Thick, warm cum slides down my throat. I swallow again before pulling back and licking my lips. I hum happily and look up at Bucky, a dazed smile on my face. I don't think that was half bad. He stares back at me, breathing shallow and uneven, "Come here," He mumbles, before he grabs me abruptly and pulls me forward, kissing me hard and deep, tongue forcing itself into my mouth. It explores my mouth as I gently reach up and run my fingers through his soft hair.

"Can I-" He starts shyly, gently kissing me before drawing back, his pupils are blown, and his face is flushed, "I want to help you now."

I shake my head, smiling softly, "You don't have to do that, Buck-"

"I want to." He's quick to promise, cutting me off with a kiss, his hand gently grabbing ahold of my neglected member. He removed my boxers without me even knowing, this man is actually insane. I moan at the contact, pulling at his bottom lip with my teeth the way I know he likes, which causes him to push me back, "Slow down, darling." He warns, a dark look in his eyes that makes my dick twitch.

I smirk, "Don't tease me, Buck."

He raises an eyebrow, turning us over and pushing my back down against the mattress rather aggressively, "Oh, like you teased me?" He whispers into my ear, his metallic hand wrapped around my neck, squeezing gently. I relish in the sensation, wanting more. I whimper, causing him to squeeze tighter, "You like being choked?" He chuckles in disbelief, "You dirty little superhero,"

I whimper helplessly, gulping, I meet his eyes, "Please, Buck?" I beg, batting my eyelashes at him.

His expression softens, eyes lighting up, he smiles before sweetly pressing his lips to mine, his none metal hand grabbing ahold of my cock and giving it a squeeze. I jump, moaning into his mouth, I try to pull back but he stops me, "Just kiss me, darlin'." he demands, running his hand along my shaft agonizingly slow.

I dig my nails into his shoulder blades, which causes him to pick up the pace, just a little, still much too slow. He's teasing me, he wants me to beg. I try to resist, kissing him hungrily, moaning uncontrollably when he moves his hand faster, pulling a little.

"Buck-"

"Shh," he mumbles, turning the kiss slower, "Just breathe." he orders, looking me in the eyes, "Just look at me and breathe, okay?"

I nod, gulping, my throat dry. I hold eye contact with him as his hand slows down, rubbing the tip in a circular motion that makes my breathing momentarily stop, I thrust into his hand without meaning to, causing him to shake his head, "Needy boy." he growls, leaning into my ear and tugging at my earlobe with his teeth.

I whimper pleadingly, needing more. He's delaying my orgasm for as long as he can and it's driving me insane. I can't take much more.

He drags his teeth along the skin below my ear, nipping and trailing sweet kisses in his wake, "Just be a good boy and relax." he whispers huskily, gently running his hand back and forth on my shaft, so painfully slow.

"Bucky, please." I moan helplessly. He bites down on the sensitive skin of my neck, leaving more marks no doubt, he quickens his pace just a little, teasing me as much as he can.

"I got you, doll." he whispers breathily, moving his lips back to mine, placing them on mine but not kissing me, just letting them touch, "Just breathe."

I groan, "Go faster, Buck, just fucking go faster before I lose my goddamn sanity."

He chuckles, "Language." He pecks my lips before he rests his forehead on mine once more, "Look at me and I will." he promises, I open my eyes, staring deep into the blue abyss that is his eyes, "I want you to look at me as you come undone." he explains with a ghost of a smile before he suddenly quickens his pace, hand moving so talentedly, like he's been practically doing this for years.

It takes everything in me not to fall apart right then and there, a loud throaty moan leaving my mouth, I don't break eye contact, my entire body on fire, his hand moving faster, and I hold my breath, my lungs burning, "That's it, Stevie." he smiles proudly, liking how much resistance I have. Until he does his thing with his hand, a sort of twist, and I'm so unprepared, so close to the edge already, that I can't stop myself.

"Buck, I can't hold back anymore." I tell him, warning him. He only smiles, eyes shining. He does it again, and I'm a goner, going over the edge with a moan of his name, my eyes staying glued to his as I come undone right in the palm of his hand.

And he smirks before kissing me one more time, letting me pant into his mouth as he pulls me closer with both of his hands, the metal one sexily cold against my back, "Good boy." He gushes, pampering me with sweet kisses.

I keep picturing Sebastian in my mind, what he'd be like in this situation. Would he be more gentle? Could something like this ever even occur with Sebastian? Bucky seems more than willing to do anything for me, I feel like I have all the power in the world with him. It shouldn't feel so good.

He smiles, beautifully, swollen lips looking unbelievably delicious, "You did so well." he leans down, his warm breath tickling my lips and nose, "I can't tell you how long I've waited for this, Stevie." He whispers, cupping my face with his hands. The difference between his human one and the metallic is surreal, one warm, the other ice cold. I find myself loving the sensation of both.

I feel bad suddenly, like a thief. This is Steve's love, not mine. Bucky isn't mine. Sebastian isn't mine. But I'm here, in Steve's place, and Bucky's here. I can't deny myself this, not when this may be my only chance at getting some version of the man I love. I wished for that. I've earned this.

I smile, mine matching his own, leaning into his touch. "Everyone heard us, you realize that, right?" I whisper with a quiet sigh.

He shrugs, "I don't care if they did." he announces nonchalantly, running his metal hand through his longish luscious hair, his other still cupping my cheek, a fond look swirling in his eyes, "Do you?" He frowns, observing my reaction.

I shake my head as soon as his words register, but it's already too late, he's already decided I regret this. He's getting dressed now, no longer on the bed with me, sweatpants already back on, blue eyes filled with anger, "If you think this was a mistake, at least fucking tell me. We've been friends too long for you to pretend to like this just to spare my fucking feelings." he snarls, eyebrows furrowed together.

I jump up, grabbing my clothes off the bed and floor and throwing them on, because I fear he's about to walk out on me. I sigh as I pull my shirt over my head, "What? I'm not-"

"Don't pity me, Steve. Not for a second. Even if I beg for it one day." he snaps, swallowing hard, I watch his adam's apple move. I'm frozen in place. My brain has stopped working. He takes a step towards me, staring me down coldly, "If this meant nothing to you, tell me. I can't handle you playing along just because you don't want to hurt me."

My breathing picks up, heart pounding in my chest. "Why are you automatically assuming it doesn't mean anything to me? I'm the one that gave you the okay to kiss me, I'm the one that wanted to please you-"

"Because maybe you just wanted a quick fuck, Steve! Because why the hell would you want anything more from me?" He shouts, pulling at his messy hair frantically, cursing under his breath as he begins pacing the room, eyes cast to the floor, "I don't know, okay? I don't know what you want from me."

I make sure Steve's phone is still in my pocket while Bucky continues to pace, mumbling incoherent things to himself.

"Can you stop acting like an idiot and look at me so I can talk to you about this?"

He stops immediately, raising his head and cautiously meeting my eyes. His gorgeous blue irises are glazed over, filled with tears that I know he's holding back. "You've been acting so differently these past few days, so carefree. You've been all touchy with me and so loving, I thought maybe.."

"Maybe what?"

He shrugs, licking his swollen lips. "I thought maybe you loved me too. Not in the best friend kind of way that you always have, no, I thought maybe you loved me like I love you."

"Bucky-"

He slams me back against the nearest wall, knocking the air out of me and ceasing my thought process completely, his metallic hand positioned on the wall behind me, his human one placed to my neck. I gulp, meeting his intense eyes. "Just tell me the truth, no bullshit," he pleads, voice dripping with desperation, "Please."

I try to think of the right words. I already know what I want to say, but that won't work, it needs to be something Steve would say. I can't give him a Chris answer, he wants a Steve one. I'm Steve now, I need to play the part for the rest of my time here.

"If the feeling wasn't mutual I wouldn't have let you kiss me." I mumble coyly, sending him my best Steve smile, "I wouldn't have kissed you or touched you, if I didn't want you like that."

He sighs, closing his eyes, hitting the wall with his hand, "That's not the answer I want, Steve. I don't want you to tell me you want me. I want you to say you love me. Sexual attraction doesn't equal romantic feelings." he opens his eyes, them piercing into mine, he smiles weakly, "Just tell me if you love me or not, or if you ever could love me like that. If you don't-" he pauses, lovingly stroking my cheek with his warm hand, a worried expression edged onto his perfect face, "-or can't." his voice cracks, "I'll hide these feelings inside again and we can pretend this never happened. I just can't lose you, I wouldn't survive it."

He's so vulnerable right now, giving me his entire heart and letting me hold it in the palm of my hand. I could break it so easily, crush it into a million pieces, he's giving me that power. He's giving me everything. It's overwhelming, something I never pictured happening. I'm not worthy of it, Steve is. But I'll take it. I can't have Sebastian, but as long as I'm here, I have Bucky.

I inhale a sharp breath and then slowly exhale it, "This isn't sexual attraction to me, Buck. I mean-" I huff my cheeks, "-I am sexually attracted to you, obviously." I motion at his body, biting the inside of my cheek nervously as I re-meet his eyes, "But it's more than that, it's always been more than that. You're my best friend. You're the love of my life."

His eyes widen, lighting up the second the words leave my mouth. He presses his body closer to mine, my back hitting the wall again. His eyes scan my face, searching for any hesitation, "I'm the love of your life? Really?" He grins beautifully, reminding me so much of Sebastian that it makes my heart ache. He places his artificial hand to my waist, "You mean it?" He sounds so hopeful now, a twinkle in his ocean colored eyes that I've only ever seen in Sebastian's.

I nod, grinning right back at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him to me, "I mean it." I whisper before pressing my lips to his. It's a passionate kiss, one that leaves us both breathless when we finally pull away for air.

My phone starts ringing in my pocket, Bucky groans into my shoulder, "It's her, I can feel it. She's ruining this."

I sigh, pulling the phone from my pocket, and sure enough, it's Sharon. Oh god, Sharon. Steve has a girlfriend. What the fuck am I supposed to do about that? Sure, I can just dump her, I won't have to deal with Steve's anger when we eventually switch back anyway, but Bucky will. That makes me sad. That means I'm gonna have to tell Steve about everything that happens between Bucky and I, stuff Steve basically forbid me from doing. Fuck. I've officially fucked everything up.

"I'll break up with her, Buck. Today." I promise as I press accept on the call and press the phone to my ear, "Hey." I gulp.

Bucky sighs, wrapping his arms around me and holding me against him tightly, "I really hope you do, Steve." he whispers lowly, followed by a breathy sigh into my neck. "I really hope you do."

"Steve, I know you're probably really busy, but I need to change our lunch date to now." She sounds frantic. Uh oh.

Bucky lets me go, walking across the room to his closet, "Even better, you can dump her now." he cheers with a bitter chuckle, but I can hear the worry laced within his voice. He doesn't think I'll go through with it. "Right?"

"What's wrong? Where do you want to meet?" I ask her, playing my role of the concerned boyfriend so well I think Bucky even believes it, him glancing my way with his eyebrows knotted together in frustration.

"I'm pregnant." Sharon announces. And just like that, the little fantasy Bucky and I made comes crashing down around us.