A.N.:// I kinda changed my approach on this.
Originally, Arthur and Merlin were not supposed to appear. But then I realized I need Gwen.
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"Gwen, don't be so rude. Sir Leon is a friend. Be nice to him."
Gwen was about five years old, when her mother introduced her to the man she was going to work for. Gwen's mother looked a lot like adult Gwen. Her face was rounder though. Her eyes a little smaller, her skin a tad bit darker. She looked at Leon like one would a brother. An equal.
"I don't wanna! He's OLD!", small Gwen pouted, while her mother snorted at that.
The man before her WAS significantly older than her, but the comment didn't seem to bother him. He crouched down, with a small laugh.
"How old do you think I am.", he asked, mock offended, and Gwen answered quietly:
"A thousand years old!"
Leon laughed even louder. "Close enough, but not quite."
He held out a hand. "It's okay, you don't have to be nice to me."
"Leon -"
"Delilah, she is going to look just like you, when she grows up. I want her to be just as strong willed and kind."
Leon didn't look at her, but he didn't need to. Gwen's mother, Delilah, self consciously brushed a stray line of hair out of her face. It uncovered a scar underneath her cheekbone. It was a seemingly random letter, burned into her cheek. This letter is the reason why she still worked in royal households as a maid and not as a blacksmith with her husband.
The hot iron scared her. And she refrained from touching anything that had to do with it. If she didn't love Tom as much as she did, she would never have married him. Probably never even entered his shop.
"Other royals will treat her badly. You know that, Leon. You can't let her run her mouth whichever way she wants to."
"So, you want me to be as bad as them?"
"I want you to prepare her."
Leon shook his head again. "There are better, safer ways to prepare a child than to traumatize them. I can educate her. Teach her to read and to write. She's smart, she will receive the training of a royal woman. That's the least I can do for both of you."
It was quiet between them, while Gwen still looked uncertain, whether or not to shake the stranger's hand.
"Sir Leon, this isn't another attempt of yours to make up for what happened that day, is it?"
Gwen could only blink. Completely in the dark as to what they were talking about.
"You saved my life.", Leon muttered and finally stood up with a sigh. Gwen wasn't going to be friendly today. But he had time.
"We both know that is not true. You saved us from that ... monster that held me and my sister captive, remember? Ellie would have loved you. I know she would have.", Delilah grew more and more quiet with each word. The memory was about seven years old, but Gwen wouldn't know that until much much later.
"I could have saved her."
"You died, Leon.", Delilah looked more miserable with each word. "You needed time to revive. It's not your fault."
"Except it is. I could have not died. And saved her instead.", Leon turned away. "Now, I have to go. Training is about to start within a candle mark. And I have yet to find a capable servant who can help me with my armor."
Delilah nodded. "What about Harry? You were satisfied with him, yesterday."
Leon turned around and blinked at her in confusion. "Who is Harry?"
Delilah seemed a bit confused, but she waved it off. "No one."
The question was never answered.
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Despite everything Gwen had said at their first encounter, she did somehow manage to become Leon's friend. His tiny, child friend. Whenever Delilah was at Leon's house cleaning, Leon took some of his precious time to teach her Camelot's history. He taught her to read and to write and told her stories. None of which she believed to be true.
Leon often commented how smart she was. That it was good that she questioned him. He encouraged her to learn on her own. Learn whatever she wanted.
Her mother was always around and kept an eye on them.
Gwen remembered her fond expression. But the white scar on her beautiful skin burned itself into Gwen's memory. She swore she would ask about it one day.
But today was not that day.
Gwen and Delilah had been alone in Leon's place. Gwen was reading some children's book, while Delilah was cleaning the place.
It was dark outside and Delilah was on edge. She kept looking for the door.
"He should be home by now. What's taking so long?"
"Mommy, is Leon on a mission again?"
"Yes.", Delilah said, but the worried frown on her forehead never quite subsided.
Late into the night, when thunder and rain kept Gwen and Delilah inside the house, the door suddenly opened wide and a bloody figure stumbled into the room.
He was coughing and holding his side, but Delilah immediately hurried to his side.
"Gwen, leave this room this instant!", she didn't forget to shout, because Gwen was seven and she had never seen a walking corpse before.
There was some shifting and shuffling and Delilah managed to sit Leon down on the ground. She did not manage to keep Gwen away though. Gwen was too curious to leave. Her mother probably didn't even notice, because she didn't say anything. She was too worried about Leon's wounds.
"Leon! Leon, can you hear me?", she asked and Leon opened his eyes at her.
"What's up?", he muttered and then closed his eyes again.
"This isn't funny, Leon. What happened?"
"The usual.", Leon answered. "Bandits. All the knights were killed except for me. You know how it goes."
"Damn it, Leon!", Delilah pulled at her hair. "You can't keep doing this!"
"Of course I can. I'm immortal, remember?", his voice was weak though.
"That doesn't make you invincible! You still get hurt. If you keep being this careless...
Does it mean nothing to you?
Does Elli mean nothing to you?"
Leon grunted in confusion. "Elli?"
"Yes! My sister, remember?", Delilah said exasperated. More sarcastic than anything. She probably blamed Leon's confusion on the blood loss. Perhaps he was just messing with her. Or so she thought.
"I never met your sister. Did I?", Leon tilted his head at her. Only half conscious.
But Gwen would remember her mother's face in that moment for years to come. The shock. The confusion. The ashen horror written on her face.
As realization washed over her.
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Gwen was thirteen, when Leon forgot himself.
It happened after a tournament that ended very badly for him.
Gwen's mother had kept quiet about her sister, ever since Leon forgot about her. But she was also more quiet and reserved since it had happened. She was mad at Leon, Gwen could tell.
Elli and Delilah had been restrained by slave traders for about four years, before knights of Camelot had located the traders and defeated them.
They had been a tough bunch of men and women to defeat and the knights had been fairly outnumbered.
Sir Leon had been the one who found the two sisters and fought against the trader who kept them bound up.
In the middle of the rescue mission, Leon got stabbed from behind and the traders had the great idea to kill their property, to leave them behind. So that they could never be traced by witnesses.
Elli was killed on the spot. That Leon was immortal came apparent only seconds after.
Leon never managed to live with that. He never forgave himself for being so careless.
Delilah never blamed him.
All she asked of him was to keep Elli's memory alive.
But Leon forgot. And thus is why she was mad.
Yes, she waited with Gwen inside the tent, while Leon pointlessly risked his life in the tournament.
From there they could hear gasps and screams. And moments later, a corpse like person was brought into the tent.
Delilah growled with pity, but reeled it back in. Gwen knew Leon would not die. She had seen it many times. Leon would be fine.
She was already used to the sight.
And he was. He awoke a few minutes after his wounds had closed up on themselves.
"I told you, you should not have engaged in this tournament.", Delilah said quietly. Leon looked at her in confusion.
"What tournament?", he had asked.
Delilah could have punched him in the face for that. "The tournament where you just DIED again, Leon!"
He blinked at her. "Leon?", he muttered, but shook his head. "Oh yes. Of course.", he nodded, but it was clear that he was confused.
"Come on, don't mess with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about!"
"I'm sorry.", Leon said and looked down. "But – what am I doing here?", he looked at her, as if she had all the answers.
It was that moment that Delilah realized something was definitely off.
"You don't remember? You... REALLY don't remember? Do you even remember who you are?"
"My name is Leon.", the man said, but it sounded as if he was only repeating what Delilah had called him.
He turned to Gwen. "Right?"
Delilah was speechless. "This can't be... No.", she shook her head. "You're joking."
"Does any of you know why I'm covered in blood?", Leon asked and held up his arms to curiously examine himself.
"Gwen, come with me.", Delilah wore no expression. But sometimes that says more than any expression could anyway.
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They stood before a giant dragon. Never in her life had Gwen ever felt this afraid. She was confused. She didn't know what was going on. But she put up a brave face and pretended she had the courage to actually fight this creature if she had to.
It was both disturbing and relieving, when the creature decided to laugh.
"This is not funny, Kilgharrah. He didn't even know his own name!", Delilah was furious and completely unafraid. How she knew the dragon, Gwen never found out.
"Indeed. That is a massive problem, mother of queens."
"Stop calling me that. What is wrong with him?"
The dragon repositioned himself and came just close enough to cause Gwen to hide behind her mother.
"Sir Leon is not alive, Delilah.", he said and the woman in question quizzically frowned at him.
"Sir Leon is but a memory."
"Can you please, for once, stop the riddles and explain what the hell that means?"
"Sir Leon's immortality is born from the connections he creates in his life. To use magic, he has to give up one person he created a bond with. He cannot choose which person he forgets, but he does. Otherwise he will disappear."
"Leon has no magic. And this makes no sense."
"He does. But his magic roots deep within himself and keeps him alive. You call it immortal. I say he never really lived. A life can only be saved by sacrificing another life.
But Leon's sacrifices are memories. Because that's what he is made of."
"But .... he forgot himself!"
"That is bad.", the dragon answered. "You cannot let him use magic again, Delilah. Once he forgets himself, he has but ONE use of magic left. And that one will be his last."
Delilah ashened even further.
Gwen however, only understood half of what was said.
"How can I make him remember?", Delilah asked.
"There is but one way.", Kilgharrah smiled. "You have to forget about him."
Delilah stared at him. "What?"
"If you willingly offer your memories for his sake, he will receive them as his own. Perhaps he will even have more chances to revive as well."
"What do I have to do?"
"Nothing.", the dragon laughed and then Gwen remembered a deep breath invading her mother. When Delilah awoke, she had never even heard of the name Leon before.
But Leon himself was back to normal.
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Gwen was sixteen, when her mother died. Gwen had kept working in Sir Leon's house in her stead. Though Leon seemed confused why Gwen's mother had stopped working for him, he didn't comment on it.
He still believed he did something wrong and accepted that Delilah made her own choices.
If she didn't want to see him again, it was probably for the better.
Instead, he took good care of Gwen and treated her the same as he did her mother.
Though the magic had messed up his mind and did not tell him that Gwen knew of his secret.
Leon treated her normally, like usual. But he could not remember half of what they had been through.
It put a distance between them that Gwen found hard to deal with.
It broke her heart, knowing what Leon had given up just to serve Camelot.
And what her mother had given up, just to protect a friend.
Delilah never remembered Leon. Even when Leon tried to build up some kind of friendship again. But try as he might, he never figured it out.
Leon had yet to return from one of his missions. Again, it had been a fatal mission. And like usual, Leon was the only survivor. Not for the lack of trying on their enemy's part, but because of the magic that kept him alive.
That he was alive they only knew because of scouts who were supposed to find the missing knights and found corpses instead.
The problem was, the enemy was a horde of serkets.
When Gwen heard it, she panicked. And immediately went to talk to her parents. Because no matter how immortal Leon was. Being stung by dozens of creatures that size, was bound to be dangerous, even to him.
"Mom. Have you heard -"
"Leon."
Gwen blinked in surprise, to find her mother in the kitchen, where she was washing the dishes in the bucket of water she had brought this morning.
The plate in her hand had shattered on the floor and Tom, who sat beside her was beyond confused.
"Mom?"
Her mother turned to Gwen. Eyes wide in shock and disbelieve. "I remember.", she said and it did not sound good. She was alarmed, rightfully so.
"Mom?", Gwen repeated for the third time and finally Delilah registered that she was real. And that her memories were real.
"Gwen, this is not good. I'm not supposed to remember! If I remember, that means the magic is broken."
"Magic?", Tom suddenly exclaimed, thrown completely off guard. Delilah apologetically send him a glance.
"I'm so sorry, Tom. But I need to go."
"Where are you going? What's this talk about magic? Why -"
"There is no time to explain. Gwen, you have to speak with Kilgharrah. I'll go and find Leon."
"Delilah, the knights are all dead! They were trapped in a nest of serkets! You can't-"
But Delilah was out the door, before Tom managed to stand up. And even though he followed her, she was much faster. And her clothing did not hinder her movements as much as Tom's did him. Because he was still wearing the leathery clothing that was supposed to prevent the heat from the hearth to burn him, when he worked with hot iron.
Gwen just stood there, eyes wide and confused, but she was sixteen. And her mother knew best. Her father had just ran off as well, so he could not talk sense into her.
So Gwen went and talked to the dragon.
She never saw her mother again after that. At least not alive.
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"She remembers?", Kilgharrah sounded thoughtful, while he absentmindedly flapped his wings.
"Yes! This can't be good, right?", Gwen was getting desperate. Despite her trust in her mother, she knew that her mother had no chance against a whole group of serkets.
Her only hope was Leon. But if her mother was right and the magic that kept Leon remembering himself and therefore keeping him alive was broken, then there was a chance that he would not return either.
He would finally be dead for good.
"Well, if Delilah remembers him, then the magic is gone. Leon has but one use of magic left. Then he will forget himself again."
"What do I do?"
"You want to do something?", Kilgharrah's grin had always been unsettling, but this time it made Gwen outright rigid.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"It depends. Sir Leon may remember raising you, but he has forgotten the reason why.
For all you know, he is not even your friend anymore. Who says that he can still protect your mother?"
"Leon is my friend as well as he was my mothers! Not that it matters, I know he will protect her! He would protect anyone, if he has the chance to."
The dragon regarded her with another irritating glance, then he suddenly muttered something that Gwen did not understand and a globe of golden light appeared before her.
In it, she saw a reflection of her mother, trying to get through the herd of serkets that withered around corpses within the forest.
In the middle of it, she could see a red cape and blond hair and shallow breathing.
Gwen could not hear what was said in this vision, but she knew that Kilgharrah just showed her what was happening on the other side.
Sir Leon within the vision opened his eyes for some reason, and he saw Delilah. But there was no recognition in his eyes.
And then, everything happened extremely fast. A serket attacked Delilah, Leon shouted something and then....
Then Leon's eyes glowed golden.
Gwen stumbled backwards. "What is this?", she asked, voice hoarse. Leon never used magic before. Not actively at least! What was this?
"You know what it is. But I'm afraid, he is too late."
Gwen had refused to watch whatever Leon did to the serkets, but now that she was watching again, the creatures all lay around him, wounded or dead.
And her mother in between.
Sir Leon looked devastated, despite the fact that he did not know this woman. Because when he forgot about Delilah, he forgot about the memories she had granted him.
It had returned them to her. That's why Delilah remembered.
This is why she died.
"Once and future Queen, you must now decide. He just used his last magic."
He had not needed to tell her. Gwen saw how Leon was suddenly grabbing for his own head, confusion written all over his face. As if he could not remember where or who he was.
'Once and future Queen?', Gwen subconsciously asked herself. But it was not important enough to question.
Instead, she looked up, resolutely.
"I will do what my mother did.", she said decidedly. "He needs to live. Leon protects Camelot. We need him."
The dragon smiled. "If that is what you decide, young queen, then I will grand your wish.
But remember, Leon will know who you are. Only one of his closest circle, can do this magic.
If he forgets about you, he has but one use of magic left to forget himself.
And one more, before he ceases to exist.
When you remember these words, you will have to make the same choice again. But not you, someone else has to give up their memories.
It only works once. Are you ready?"
"Of course I am.", Gwen had said and tried not to think of her mother. The time for grieving would be later. Maybe her mother would arise after all. Not everyone stayed dead forever.
Or perhaps, now she just wanted to unsee this. Maybe she just wanted to forget already and just knew that it lay within her own hand to decide that she could.
"Very well.", the dragon chuckled. Then he leaned down.
Gwen remembered a breath and then everything went black.
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"How many times do I have to tell you. Nothing can ever come of it.", Arthur gritted his teeth in Merlin's direction.
"Not unless you're king."
"I can't expect her to wait for me. Besides, she likes Lancelot anyway. You saw them in the caves!"
Arthur looked almost miserable in the dark firelight. It was the middle of the night and Gwen was sleeping beside them. She was quiet and fast asleep.
"You know I would never rob you of your fortune."
Arthur twirled around, where Lancelot suddenly stood behind them and threw more logs into the fire.
"Lancelot.", Arthur paled as he looked at him. But Lancelot only sat beside them, not saying anything else, while the camp fire exploded around the fresh logs and happily lapped at the dry wood. It cracked.
"Arthur, I know you like her. I saw it too. She likes you back.", Lancelot said and looked down.
"I cannot say which one she loves more. That decision is not mine to make, neither is it yours. But I will not stand in your way."
He turned his head to regard Arthur in all seriousness, while Merlin just watched Gwen from here.
"There are many obstacles standing in my way. I am grateful that you don't want to be one of them. But there are too many already. Gwen should be happy. She shouldn't have to wait for someone who doesn't even know if he could ever hold his promise.", Arthur stared into the fire.
"I'm not going to stay in your way either.", he added and Lancelot sighed.
They were both miserable like this. Until Lancelot looked up.
"You know... sometimes when people are in love, they say the name of whom they love in their sleep. I know this decision will be hard on Gwen.
But maybe she subconsciously already decided?", Lancelot looked at Arthur and then at Gwen's sleeping form.
"That's bullshit.", Merlin said at the same time that Arthur did.
Lancelot rose both his eyebrows. "And why is that?"
"Because he says my name in his sleep all the time.", they both said in unison, pointing at each other. Then they both turned their heads, eyes wide and scandalized.
Lancelot's eyes wandered between them.
"That's -", he tried to argue, though he didn't know what he was going to say.
But then Gwen's face constricted painfully and a moment later she shot up in her cot, chest rising and falling as if her heart was beating too fast. She was breathing hard as well and her hair fell in loose strands into her face.
Lancelot and Arthur shot each other a glance, before they turned to her, Merlin was still trying to understand what their conversation earlier might mean, when Gwen suddenly covered her mouth with her hand.
"Leon.", she gasped.
And well.. that was not what either of them had expected.