63. I Almost Do (12/26/20)

Jaxon opened the front door of his apartment and tossed his briefcase on the coffee table, which sat in the middle of the living room. He rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes; he hadn't planned on spending all day at work, but he realized upon arriving this morning that he was behind on several projects. Jaxon found that he worked best under pressure and behind schedule, so he spent the whole day working on the projects until they were complete. It wasn't the healthiest idea, but at least the work was done. Now Jaxon was exhausted and his back ached from sitting at his desk all day.

He plopped down in the sitting chair, which was right near the front window. Even though it was dark outside, he could see the streetlights and the houses across from his own. The whole neighborhood was asleep, and Jaxon felt utterly alone.

After sitting and contemplating for a moment, he rose from his chair, undid his tie, and prepared a microwave meal. He wasn't hungry after his co-workers had ordered pizza for the office, but he figured he might as well eat something before heading to bed.

As he waited for the food to warm up, Jaxon couldn't help but think of Heather. He wondered what she was doing tonight. It was Friday, and they used to go out together since he got off work earlier. He wasn't sure what Heather did now that they weren't together.

The microwave buzzed, and Jaxon handed the warm meal with care. Once he was seated in his chair by the window, he kicked off his shoes and played with the noodles and chicken in his dish. His mind began to wonder as he thought about Heather again and what she might be doing tonight. She loved to read, so he imagined she had stopped by the library today to pick up a new thriller or romance novel, two genres that didn't necessarily go together. Or maybe she was rewatching Gossip Girl. Jaxon chuckled at the thought. Whenever they would get into a petty argument, Heather threatened to watch Gossip Girl for the umpteenth time. He didn't understand the scandal and drama of the show, but Heather seemed to like it. Jaxon hoped, for a moment, that she thought of him whenever she watched the show.

He absentmindedly dug his phone out of his pocket, placing his dinner on the windowsill. Heather hadn't called since the breakup in March, and he hadn't expected her too. But he had hoped she would have responded to some of his messages. In April, a few weeks after the breakup, Jaxon had texted Heather with no reply. He knew the relationship was over, and he wasn't looking to start it up again, but he hoped she would have reached out. It would've been nice if they could've stayed friends.

On Friday night, Heather was torn with how to spend her time. She had stopped by the local library that morning and picked up two new books. One was a fresh-from-the-press mystery about a group of missing girls, and the other was the fifth installment in a historical romance series. She always tried to pick two books that were polar opposites so she could read whichever book matched her mood.

Heather was sitting on her loveseat, and the two books were stacked on the nearby table. She picked up the romance novel, but for once, the shirtless man on the cover did not catch her attention. The thriller had an interesting premise, but the idea of missing girls was sickening to her at the moment. She decided to forgo the books and flick on the television. Season four of Gossip Girl was waiting for her, and even though she knew how it ended, she still liked to rewatch certain episodes every now and then.

The Netflix logo flashed across the screen, and Heather tried to ignore the aching in her chest as she selected Gossip Girl. The show always made her think of her ex-boyfriend, Jaxon. Whenever they would fight over silly things, like which restaurant to order food from, she would threaten to rewatch the show if things didn't go her way. The threat would always worry Jaxon, and Heather would end up winning the argument.

The episode Heather had selected opened on some drama, but she couldn't begin to care. Now that she started thinking about Jaxon, she couldn't stop. Since it was a Friday night, she believed he was sitting in his chair by the window, probably eating dinner. The lonely apartment would remind him of her, and how they used to spend every Friday night together. Heather hoped the last thought was true, since she was missing Jaxon right now. She hoped he felt the same.

A part of her wished she could call him. The end of the relationship had been a bit rocky, but that didn't mean they couldn't be friends. Heather was friendly with a few of her ex-boyfriends, and she always made sure to talk to them if they saw each other in public. But for some reason, Jaxon was different. The relationship still hurt Heather, like a scar on her body. She couldn't think about the end of the relationship without crying.

Heather paused her show and dug in her purse for her phone. The last message she had sent to Jaxon was from March, a few days before the breakup. But Jaxon had texted her a month later, asking if they could talk. Heather wondered if he was just missing her, or if he actually wanted to get back together. She hoped it was the former, since she always seemed to miss him. Little details reminded her of Jaxon, and she couldn't do anything on a Friday night without thinking of him.

Without thinking, Heather dialed Jaxon's number and listened to the ringing. Her heart was palpitating in her chest. She hoped he wouldn't answer, and yet she hoped he did. But what would she say if he did pick up the phone?

The message on the answering machine began to play. Just the sound of Jaxon's voice was enough to tie Heather over. She found herself at a loss for words and hung up quickly, before she was able to leave a message. She knew Jaxon would see that she had called.

Jaxon told another bite of chicken before he heard his phone ring. When he saw who it was, he knew he couldn't answer. He let the phone go to voicemail, and waited until Heather left a message.

But the screen was blank. Heather hadn't left a message at all. She had called and hung up, almost by accident. At least Jaxon knew she was thinking of him. He almost called her back, but he didn't. Instead, he finished his dinner and headed off to bed. His phone sat on the coffee table.