114. Afterglow (10/27/20)

On Valentine's Day, Violet found herself sitting across from her boyfriend, Brandon, at an expensive restaurant downtown. He had booked the reservation months in advance, wanting the night to be meaningful for both of them. After dinner, they would spend the night at a hotel.

Violet, who was used to spending the holiday home and alone, was dressed up in a purple dress that hit just above the ankle. Her black curls curtained her face, and her dark brown eyes were trained on Brandon, who was wearing a matching jacket and pant combo.

Their waitress refilled their glasses of wine, and as Violet skimmed the menu, she couldn't help but look at the other guests at the restaurants. Most were celebrating Valentine's Day, while others were spending time with friends or family. Violet's eyes moved past the couples and focused on a group of boisterous girls sitting in a booth in the corner of the room. She could feel their eyes on her and Brandon. Violet knew her boyfriend was handsome - a fact that pulled at her brain every time she left the house. She couldn't help but think that other people were judging her appearance, or were curious as to why a handsome man like Brandon would be dating her. In a split second, Violet listened to her therapist and pushed these fears away, swallowing the lump in her throat like candy.

"What do you want, babe?" Brandon asked, placing his hand on tops of hers. The waitress returned, smiling more at Brandon than Violet. She was over-analyzing everything tonight.

"Um...can I start with the potato soup?" Her voice came out meek, and Violet blushed. Brandon ordered a salad before turning a concerned eye towards her.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He was dotting, as always, and yet Violet couldn't stop worrying about the waitress. An image flashed in her mind; Brandon sneaking off to use the bathroom and was instead kissing the waitress in the break room. Violet tried not to think about it as she nodded to her boyfriend.

The meal thankfully improved over the course of the night, but Violet could not remove the sinking feeling in her stomach. As the waitress flitted off to grab the check, Violet's eyes were trained on the group of girls in the corner. In a moment that almost defied description, the most confident of the girls rose from her seat and walked towards Brandon and Violet.

"Hey, I'm Felicia. Here's my number." The girl was certainly bold. She held out a slip of paper to Brandon, who chuckled in response. In Violet's mind, the chuckle was tinted with wickedness, meaning Brandon was going to turn right around and walk away with Felicia.

"I'm sorry, Felicia, but this is my girlfriend, Violet." He gestured to her before turning back to the girl. "I think you made the wrong assumption about me."

Felicia's jaw dropped, as did Violet's. She had not been expecting that reaction, but was thankful when the needy girl walked off.

"Can you believe some people?" Brandon whispered to Violet. "I mean, it's Valentine's Day. What was she thinking?"

Violet plastered on a fake grin. She watched as Felicia returned to her group of friends, frustrated and heartbroken. She wondered what Felicia had assumed about her and Brandon. Had she thought they were cousins or something? Her and her boyfriend looked nothing alike, so the assumption was strange. Or maybe Felicia believed that Brandon couldn't be dating her, it simply wasn't possible. With a pouty lip, Violet watched Brandon pay the check, and silently followed him out of the restaurant.

Violet sat in the passenger seat of Brandon's car, staring up at the starless sky. Her insecurities had gotten the best of her tonight, and now she wasn't even looking forward to the night at the hotel. At every red light, Brandon glanced over her, a slight concern in his eye.

He pulled the car into the parking lot of the hotel and checked in at the front desk. Violet could hardly lift her head up. The only thing she could think about was everyone in the restaurant watching them, the way the waitress looked at Brandon, and Felicia handing the slip of paper to her boyfriend. It filled her with a terrible sense of dread that didn't seem to dissipate.

In the hotel room, Violet sat on the bed and removed her heels as slow as she could. Brandon watched her, jacket slung over one shoulder.

"What's wrong?" He sat next to her on the bed, holding her right hand in his. "You're upset, I can tell."

All Violet knew is that she wanted to get away from Brandon. Every time she looked at him, she remembered their evening at the restaurant. She kicked away her shoes and walked across the room, facing the door.

"It's nothing." She hugged herself, shaking slightly. Violet's eyes were full of tears.

"It's not nothing." Behind her, Violet could hear Brandon rise from the bed and move half an inch towards her. "Tell me what's wrong."

Violet pushed her tears away with the back of her hand. In a measly voice, she said, "I didn't like what happened tonight."

Brandon chuckled. "I know the check was high, but..."

She turned around, eyes ablaze. "I'm not talking about the fucking check! I mean how all those girls were looking at you. It's Valentine's Day, how did they not know we were a couple? Did they not think someone as good-looking as you would be dating me?"

Brandon's face fell as he walked towards her. "Do you really think that?"

"That waitress...and that girl..."

Brandon made the biggest mistake of his life by muttering, "Felicia?"

Violet glared up at him. "Why do you fucking care? Why don't you go run off with her, huh?"

The tension in the room split, and tears were streaming down Violet's face. Brandon's mouth was set in a hard line as he walked away from her, near the window. Violet stared at him, sniffling.

She bit her tongue before saying, "I...I didn't mean that, you know I didn't. I just..."

"Violet, I love you." His voice was flat. "I hope you know that I love you. I don't understand why you get so upset about this stuff..."

"Because all those other girls are looking at you!" Her voice was cracked as she spoke. "Like I'm not even there."

In that moment, Violet cracked and crumpled up into a little ball on the floor. Her face was in her hands, and her shoulders shook as her makeup ran large black trains down her face.

Above her, Brandon took one step at a time to reach her. In the smallest gesture, he held out a single hand to her.