105. I Think He Knows (1/21/21)

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Beck led Karleigh into the club and helped her out of her jacket. His fingers grazed her skin lightly, and despite Karleigh's best interest, she wanted more. She wished that Beck knew how she was feeling.

The two walked to the bar and ordered drinks. Either the music was too loud or she was too caught up in her own thoughts because Karleigh didn't hear the bartender calling out her order. She perked her head up and accepted the drink; she knew she needed it.

As Beck talked about his day at work, Karleigh tried to imagine what he was thinking about. She knew telepathy wasn't real, but if it was, she could really use it right now. She and Beck had been dating for three months, and he hadn't asked yet if they could be boyfriend and girlfriend. She didn't even know if the relationship was serious or not. A small part of her hoped they would be together forever; she loved Beck and felt safe when he was near. But he hadn't mentioned anything about commitment or moving in together or the need to be in a serious relationship. The thought of not knowing was driving Karleigh crazy.

"I'll be right back," she told Beck, grabbing her drink and making her way to the bathroom. To no one's surprise, the line to the women's bathroom was much longer than the line to the men's. Karleigh just rolled her eyes, nursed her drink, and stood in line.

She couldn't help but glance back at the bar as she moved up in line. Beck was still waiting for her, scrolling through his phone. Suddenly, a plan started to form in her head. She had been so meticulous in high school, making to-do lists each morning so she knew the structure of her day, down to when she would eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The plan taking shape in her head reminded her of her mornings in high school. Except this one was a bit different.

The spontaneity at the beginning of the relationship hadn't bothered her. In fact, she enjoyed not knowing where they were going on a date and what they would be doing. She let Beck make the decisions. But now it was like the two of them had reached a fork in the road, the one Robert Frost always talked about. One way led to a long, happy relationship. The other was a dead end. Karleigh did not like the sound of a dead end.

It wasn't that Beck was bad with communication or anything. He told her how he was feeling and how he spent his days. But for some reason, he was leaving this small discussion topic about their relationship out of the conversation. Karleigh felt scratchy all over, as if a million little bugs were running marathons on her skin. She wanted to know what Beck was thinking.

"Hey!" A voice called, and Karleigh hoped it was Beck. When she turned and found the man speaking to her, she tried not to let the disappointment show on her face.

A man waiting in line for the men's bathroom was smiling at her. "What's your name?"

"Karleigh," she replied, and her mind went back to the plan. If Beck didn't say anything tonight, she would leave. Did she really want that, though?

"Mike," he replied, digging through his pockets for his phone. "Can I get your number?"

Karleigh bit her lip, suppressing a smile. As she spoke, she shook her head and glanced back at the bar, as if Beck could hear every word. "I can't take your number. I'm here with my..." Her voice trailed off when she remembered that they hadn't discussed their relationship or labels.

"Your boyfriend?" Mike sounded understanding.

"Well, he's not my boyfriend exactly." Karleigh knew she should just stop talking, but the words flowed out of her like lava. "We've been dating for three months, and we haven't exactly talked about being...boyfriend and girlfriend." Her explanation was ridiculous, and she wouldn't be surprised if Mike laughed in her face.

"Damn, okay," he replied with an aloof chuckle. "It sounds complicated."

Karleigh figured the conversation had come to a close, but then she thought back to her plan. She looked back up at Mike; he was cute, and the story of how they met would be funny. Later on, Karleigh would realize that she didn't even know or like Mike; she just liked the idea of him.

"You know what?" She said after taking a sip of her drink. "Give me your number. If I break up with this guy I'm with, I'll call you. And if I don't, well, your loss." She giggled and waited for Mike to write out his number.

It felt wrong, but Karleigh knew she would need something - or someone - if her relationship with Beck did end tonight. Not that she wanted it to end; she didn't know why she kept lying to herself. She wanted to be with Beck forever. He just didn't seem to know that.

After using the bathroom, Karleigh returned to the bar and found Beck with a worried look pasted on his face. She wondered if he had heard the conversation with Mike. She waited patiently for Beck to end it all.

"Karleigh, I wanted to talk to you," Beck said, and she felt her face flush as he took her hand in his. "I can tell that you want to be in a serious relationship with me."

Her jaw dropped to the floor. "You do?"

Beck chuckled. "Of course. I can tell when you're upset. And I...saw you talking to some other guy."

Karleigh blushed so hard that she was sure she was as bright as a tomato. "I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay." Beck shrugged it off. "I understand. I wanted to talk to you about our relationship, but I needed to think about it. And then I saw how you were acting tonight, and..."

Karleigh's heart fluttered in her chest; he had known all along!

"I want to be with you, Karleigh," he said. "I love you."

Now her heart was growing so large she was worried it would fall out of her chest. She had been worrying for nothing. The plan she had formed while waiting for the bathroom went out the window.

"I love you, too," she replied with a bright smile.

Beck finished off his drink and pulled out his phone. "Let me call a car. There's one more place I want to go tonight."

Karleigh wondered what he was talking about, but then he was taking her by the hand and leading her outside. A jet black car was waiting for them. Once they were in the backseat, she whispered, "Where are we going?"

Beck couldn't help but smile and say, "You'll see."