I handed my customer his change and gave him a grin as he took his records and left the store. It had been a few days since THAT night, and everything had returned back to normal- well, except the fact that Tré was now pretty much always around at our place, or Milly was with him at his place. They appeared to be blissfully happy together, and he really was very funny, so I figured I would just let them get on with it, though I had taken to sleeping with my head under a pillow on the nights that Tré was over at our house- having an insight to my best friends very, very active sex life was taking the friendship a bit too far in my books.
Once my customer had gone, I turned back to the big box of records that I had to sort through and put away before the end of my shift, and between customers. Milly had taken the day off today to go and do- God knows what- with Tré so I was on my own. Luckily for me, it had been reasonably quiet, with only three or four people coming into the store throughout the entire day.
I hummed along to the music I had playing as a deposited the records into the right places on the shelves, occasionally doing a little boogie to accompany the song. I was in a better mood than I had been for the past few days- I had been so stressed over the whole thing with James, but he hadn't brought it up at all, and it seemed like it could just be forgotten and left in the past- that was the best I could hope for anyway. It didn't stop me from feeling like a dirty skank, and I was so ashamed of my drunken actions that night that I hadn't even been able to bring myself to tell Milly- not that I had had a chance to tell her much of anything really, with all of her time being spent with Tré.
I sighed as I thought about Tré's offer from this morning- the boys were hosting a party on the weekend in honour of Mikes birthday, and he wanted me to come along too. Milly got so excited, and instantly started making plans on what we would both wear, what time we would be there, what we would bring, etc, etc. In truth, my heart had lifted to the ceiling and then plummeted down to the floor when he had invited me too.
Billie would be there, obviously. The sense of shame that washed over me was like a heavy rainfall, drenching me and making me miserable. On the one hand, I was desperate to see him again.. And yet, on the other hand, I wasn't sure I could talk to him without that sense of unnecessary guilt- I was acting and feeling like a cheating girlfriend, when the fact of it was that there was nothing going on between Billie and I. No matter how much I had wished that there had been.
I had been thinking about whether or not to attend Mikes birthday all day, and I had finally reached the decision that I would have to fake an illness or try and get a shift at work for that day to get out of going. The torment that I was putting myself through with all these weird feelings just wasn't worth the trouble. Perhaps if I just avoided Billie then my crush would disappear and I could get back to feeling normal again. But for now, I just wanted to put all negative thoughts away and focus on good things- a technique that I had perfected after the terrible events that caused me to leave Australia. I was an expert and blocking out things that I didn't want to feel anymore.
I headed back to the store counter after putting everything away after a solid hour of no interruption from customers. It was time to start to count the till and get ready to close for the night- as much as I loved my job, it always put me in a good mood when I got to close up and go home to relax.
"Sheena is, a punk rocker nooooww," I sang along to the Ramones as I worked. I added a hip wiggle in celebration of another shift finished, and ended my dance with a twirl- just in time to see someone standing in the store, grinning at me as they witnessed my little happy groove.
It was someone familiar. Someone gorgeously familiar.
Billie Joe Armstrong let out a laugh as I stopped mid twirl.
Ooooooh boy.