I was well aware that my infatuation with Tré was rapidly turning into a deep and gloriously happy love. He was fun, energetic, sweet and just SO... Tré. He was like no one I had ever known.
I had thought I was in love with many guys before him, and had fallen into the endless trap of love and then despair after the inevitable break up- something which had always frustrated and worried Zee. But this feeling was different, and the more time we spent together, the more I was coming to realise that. Tré could be the one. The One.
He looked over the table we were sitting at and directly into my eyes, in the only way that Tré could- like he's looking and only seeing me- and smiled as though he liked what he saw. I smiled weakly back, concentrating on not opening my mouth and allowing the words I so desperately wanted to say to spill out and scare him off. The last thing he probably wanted to hear after such a short time of dating was a crazy, spur of the moment declaration of love.
So instead I turned the conversation to the upcoming party.
"It's going to be such a good excuse to get Zee out of the house," I told him, lifting my coffee to my lips and taking a slow sip. "She's been so antisocial lately, and I have no idea why. I know she thinks I don't notice, but something has definitely been up with her lately." I frown and stare into my mug. Now that I was saying the words out loud, I noticed that what I said was the absolute truth. I hadn't really been paying all that much attention to my best friend with my focus entirely on the lovely, energetic and amazingly handsome young man in front of me... I shook my head as my thoughts strayed back to Tré, and refocused on what little I had noticed about Zees behaviour.
Had she been anywhere other than to work lately? No. Every time I came home she was cuddled up on the couch or in bed. Was anyone else ever keeping her company? No. She was always alone. That wasn't what she was usually like.
She was outwardly friendly to Tré when he was over, and acted normal around me, but I had seen a sad look in her eyes the other night, behind the facade of every day life.
"What do you think could be up?" Tré asked me.
"Hmm.. I don't know," I replied become increasingly worried the more that I thought about it. Not to mention how guilty I was starting to feel- what kind of friend was I? Getting so caught up in my love life that I hadn't even given my roommate and best friend a second thought!
"I hope she's not having flashbacks," I mumbled to myself, still staring at my coffee in its mug.
When I had first met Zee, when she moved over from Australia, she had been- well, a mess. And that's putting it nicely. The first few months of us living together, I had spent night after night running into her room to wake her as she screamed in terror in the grasps of a horrendous nightmare. It was one of those nights, as she lay shaking and sweating and I comforted her, that she had confided in me her story. I have to admit, I had been appalled at what I heard, shocked and shaken to my core that one girl- such a beautiful, amazing girl like Zee- could go through so much. She became my hero from that moment on.
Devastated and in tears, I had told her that night that I would always be there for her, and that I would never let her down.
And now I felt as though I had let her down. And I sure felt shitty about it.
"Flashbacks of what?" Tré asked curiously, bringing me back and reminding me that I was in the middle of a busy cafe with the man of my dreams. I glanced up at him, and found him watching me intently.
"Oh.. Umm," I fumbled for words. Zees story was not mine to share, and I wouldn't ever betray her trust in me by telling someone else, even Tré. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry."
Tré nodded and reached over for my hand. Something in my expression must have told him how I was feeling, because her tilted his head to the side and gave me a small smile. "You don't have to," Tré said quietly. For once he was serious, a big departure from his usually playful attitude. My heart leapt into my throat at the kindness that saturated his voice.
"I understand," he went on. "A friends secret is really important, and you girls are obviously so close, and she trusts you. And so she should- you're an amazing girl, Milly. I'm so lucky that it was your record shop that I walked into that day."
I couldn't help but grin. "You were so arrogant," I laughed. He grinned back and shrugged.
"What can I say?" He said. "I've never been a good flirt, and I had to get you to come and see the band, so I you could see how awesome I am when I'm in my element. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me after that."
I giggled at him as he pounded on invisible drums. People around as turned and stared as he jumped up and down doing an air drum solo, before tossing his invisible drum sticks in the air and taking a bow, leaning towards me and planting his lips on mine.
We left the cafe shortly after, and started walking down the street holding hands. I felt so great, so swamped by the emotions Tré invoked in me, but I knew that just below the happy, bubbly surface, the guilt for neglecting my best friend was lingering.
I sighed. I guess tonight would be the first I would spend away from Tré.