Hey guys, sorry its so late, i keep on apologising and it must sound empty but I really do mean it. Hopefully the long long chapter will make up for it. It was really hard to write, so please comment and vote and tell me what was your favourite bit!!! Hopefully it will live up to your expectations... but I would really appreciate suggestions too 😊♥️

....

When he stormed out of the corridoor, with painful thoughts blurring his vision, Zaan came and stood in middle of his way. His fists clenched at his side as he realised that Zaan must have been coming to check on her.

"Bhai! Aditi! Aditi teek hai na!?" Zaan was yelling in worry in to Zain's face, shaking him by the shoulders. Zain grimaced as Aditi's words about Zaan echoed in his ears, his eyes burnt with tears but he stayed silent. "Kuch bolo Zain, she is fine right?"

He shoved Zaan off him harshly, hissing through gritted teeth, "Where the hell are you going?"

Zaan looked at him in confusion, softening his voice in fear of him, "I was just going to check on her-"

"Then don't. Fucking leave her alone." Zain's eyes were raw and raging, there was no keeping his emotions inside now.

"What? Zain, man, are you alright? You look upset? And you were seriously hysterical when she fainted. Whats up?" Zaan just prodded at the already fuming Zain, he glared back at him with a stare sharp enough to cut through steel.

"What does it matter to you? Just fucking stay out of this. Okay?" He barked acerbically, his eyes ignited with jealous, pained fury.

"I don't understand? I mean, she's on her own. She just fainted. What if she needs someone?" Zaan looked clueless at his suddenly aggressive behaviour, everybody on set had already gone very silent after Zain took Aditi in to his dressing room. It was like an unaddressed tension.

Zain mellowed suddenly as concern hit him in the chest, he squeezed his agonised eyes shut, aching with heartbreak. Her words were imprinted in his mind, worry for her health was churning in his stomach. He couldn't go to her, but he wouldn't let her be alone.

'Even Zaan wouldn't make me feel like this' , it played in his head like a siren.

"You're right... Go to her...-" He croaked, his voice hoarse with pain. He closed his eyes to steady himself, his anger and jealousy scratched against his raw heart but she was always, and would always be his first priority. "and um- make sure she eats please... no matter what excuse she makes, she has to have something. Stay with her. Please don't let her be upset... okay?"

He just nodded solemnly, still rather scared of what Zain's next move could be.

"But I'm warning you..." Zain stepped toward him, and Zaan could feel the possessive anger radiate off Zain and he almost flinched as if he would get hit. "If I find out that you hurt her, made her uncomfortable, or anything, and I mean anything... I'm telling you... even I don't know what I am capable of... got it?"

"Okay, sorry man. I'll go to her. I won't leave her side, don't worry." Zaan sprinted down the corridor with lovesick eyes.

A painfully tense moment passed.

Zain let out the breath he had been holding for the entire conversation, and slowly he fell apart to bits. His tough demeanor disappeared. His shoulders drooped, his head lulled forward and he fell on to his knees with his head in his hands.

And cried.

Like a baby.

A cry of helplessness, a cry of heartbreak. A cry in fear for her wellbeing, a cry in the thought of her finding happiness in that Zaan instead of him.

A cry of intense, paralysing pain.

...

When Zaan reached Zain's dressing room she had already left. She ran through the corridors in search of Zain, distressed tears dried on her face. She stopped, out of breath and exhausted, physically but more importantly mentally. Guilt was pounding in her chest, because she knew how much she has hurt him, how her careless words broke him, but she didn't know how she could take it back. She doubled over in nausea, from her frail body excessively running.

She looked up as she felt an arm on her shoulder.

"Adu?" Jahaan questioned in concern at the tears in her eyes, frowning.

She sobbed, leaping and hugging him tightly. Jahaan grabbed hold of her shaking body, almost afraid she would collapse on to the floor, he patted her back consolingly, as she let out her cries, soaking his leather jacket.

"Whats happened? Whats wrong Adu? Come, let me take you to Zain..."

"No you can't..." She choked on her tears, shivering without Zain's warmth. "I ruined everything- he hates me... he hates me- I was stupid. I was so stupid- he hates me Jahaan-"

Jahaan tightened his hold, frowning deeper in fear seeing her in such a bad state, saying such confusing things, "What are you saying? That boy couldn't even think of hating you... he couldn't stop loving you like mad even if he tried... Look, let me call Zain..."

He brought his hand to his pocket but Aditi held his hand to stop him, shaking her hand frantically, "I pissed him off Jahaan, really really badly...I- I think I broke his heart..."

Her puppy dog eyes were unbearable to any living soul, no one could handle the amount of loving innocent guilt that filled them.

"Don't be stupid Adu... you couldn't be capable of hurting him..." He smiled with that smile of a friend that could be so powerful, he wiped her tears like you would of a child. "You're his everything... if you're happy he is, if you're sad then he is, he loves you like anything-"

"Exactly Jahaan...and I- uh- I-" Her words were jumbled and shaky, still on the verge of tears.

"What is it? Just tell me..."

"I haven't eaten properly in weeks Jahaan. I- I told him it was his fault, that I would be happier with someone else- and he didn't deserve that... he didn't... I know that..." She burst out, her words flowing rushedly, like her tears.

"What?" Horrified shock was written over Jahaan's face, hurt anger in his eyes. "What do you mean you haven't eaten in weeks?"

"I- It's nothing... nothing to worry about. I needed to lose some weight- it was just a small diet..." She tried to smile it off and failed miserably.

"A diet? Eating nothing isn't a diet. And who said you needed to lose weight? Who's been putting these stupid ideas in to your head?" Jahaan was angry, and she could see genuine care on his face.

"Nobody don't worry..."

"Aditi, look at me," She looked at him, afraid of what he was going to say, "If I'm so furious at the thought of you neglecting food for such a stupid reason... then just imagine what Zain is going through? You are his everything Aditi, I'm telling you, you are the most precious, most important thing in the world to him. It would destroy him if something happened to you... it would break him to pieces..."

"I'm sorry... tell him I'm sorry please Jahaan..." She begged in tears, her eyes melting in guilt. "I'm so sorry..."

"Look lets just leave it now... okay?" He held her by the shoulders and sat her down on a chair. "I'll talk to him and we'll fix this, I promise. Just forget it now... Sir has given us the afternoon off after your accident, but we have to be back by evening since we have some crucial night scenes to film..."

She nodded, trying to steady her breathing, "But you know what, I'll ring Poonam and she can come and pick you up okay? Spend some time with her and forget about all these things for a while. It will all be sorted by tonight, after all its Holi..."

He wiped away her tears again, poking her nose in a friendly manner, "And just remember one thing... never believe anything anybody else may tell you... because I can see how much Zain loves you. He loves you ridiculously, insanely. And nobody can change his mind about you, he will always see you as the most beautiful, wonderful woman, that he loves most in the world. Teek hai?"

"Hmm" She hummed, the smallest of smiles appearing on her face.

"Now take these..." He says, shoving his packet of lays in to her lap. "It's not the healthiest of foods but it's damn tasty. And I will sit here and make sure you finish every single little crumb. Samji? Otherwise Zain will kill me..."

...

Zain still sat on set, but it was empty, everyone else had gone home till evening. But he didn't feel like going home, curling up in bed, and just feeling her absence and remembering their conversation again and again. The sets had a rare sort of energy, and a rare sort of presence, her presence.

He scrolled through Instagram with shaking hands, his tears dripping down his screen. The obscene, disgusting comments that had been written about her made him feel sick with guilt and anger. He closed his eyes, as if trying to imagine what she felt like, as if trying to take in her pain so she wouldn't have to feel it.

He watched back the video of him pecking the cheeks of the BCL girls and felt like punching himself in the face at how oblivious he had been, how he hadn't realised how bad she must have felt. He wouldn't have been able to handle it, he knew that.

'It's all my fault. She put her health at risk because of me. She felt the need to starve herself just because of me-'

His thoughts were interrupted by Jahaan standing infront of him, disdain on his face. Zain's heart skipped a beat in worry as he straightened.

"I talked to Aditi-" Jahaan started the difficult conversation, with a deep breath.

"Has she eaten? Is she okay? Who is she with?" He bursted out in a panic, frowning deeply in worry.

"She's fine Zain. She's eaten and I dropped her at Poonam's..."

"Good..." He looked down blankly, removing any emotion from his face, but internally sighing in immense relief.

"Well?" Jahaan asked, tapping his foot.

"Well what?"

"Maybe you should explain why she was in the middle of the corridor, sobbing and begging for your forgiveness?" Zain closed his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the pain pulsing in his heart when imagining her in that state, Jahaan pleaded intently, "Why won't you hear her out?

"What should I hear? I've heard everything she wanted to say to me. I know everything that she did." Hurt scalded his eyes, sore like an acid burn.

"She was just confused, hurt... some stupid people must have been putting ridiculous ideas in her head Zain..."

"And what?" Zain asked harshly, but his eyes just reflected love and innocence. "Are those people more important than me? Or what did she think? That i would be happy to know she is fucking starving herself to look 'skinny'? Did she think I'm that bloody shallow?"

"Zain, she wasn't thinking straight-"

"She was letting her bottled feelings out... people are most honest then." His voice softened, dejected, hopeless.

"Do you know what she told me?" His tone was almost wistful, as he smiled sadly with brimming eyes, "She told me that I make her feel like shit. She told me that I don't care for her. She told me that if I had loved her then she wouldn't have had to do this. She told me that she would rather be with someone else Jahaan... She told me that she was doing this to look perfect for me... for me... as if she felt the need the need to prove herself to me?"

"Zain she didn't mean that, you know she didn't-"

"She did. She always looks perfect to me... I wouldn't want to change a single thing about her. Have I not done enough to express that? I have. I know I have. But it wasn't enough for her. I'm not enough for her."

"Don't be stupid, okay? Yes, she might have done it in the wrong way, a ridiculous, painful way. But she only did it because she loved you-"

"For God sake, I could have lost her Jahaan!" He yelled in desperation, almost a choked cry. "Didn't she think of that? If she carried it on, I could have fucking lost her... did she think thats what I wanted? Just so she looks 'perfect'? How could i forgive her when she didn't think even once, that i would lose her..."

There was a second of silence where Jahaan didn't know how to respond to Zain's agonising impassioned cry, he cleared his throat, sympathy in his eyes, "I understand Zain, she was wrong. I know she was. But she needs you..."

"She doesn't need me. If she values all those people's stupid comments over me, then she doesn't need me. If all I can give her is pain, and sadness and insecurity then she's better off without me. If I'm not the one who can give her happiness then she doesn't need me Jahaan..." He sighed as a single exhausted tear left his eyes, and the soft sad noise sounded like the breaking of his heart.

"Zain, you do make her happy, after her ex you-"

"I thought that too, but if she is doing such stupid stuff to herself because of me, then I can't, i can't make her happy."

"No Zain, listen-"

"There is nothing left to listen to. " He sniffled back his tears, standing up as Jahaan watched helplessly as this couple fell apart in front of his eyes. "I'll see you this evening for the night shoot..."

He started walking out, his face blank but his heart shattered. "Zain-"

"Bye..." The door slammed shut.

....

Shoot wrapped up and they were clearing up the sets, the sequences were uncomfortable and awkward, especially when it was just the two of them. But the tears felt real, the desperation to touch, to hug, to peck, to caress, to love, felt so tenderly real that they wished that it wouldn't end.

But it did, and now the cast was cheering and hooting for 'balaam pichkari' to be played as they danced together for Holi. Zain sat in one corner, pretending to be involved in his phone to avoid it. He watched her from the corner of his eye doing the same, and prayed that she wasn't reading those disgusting comments again.

His jaw clenched and his fist curled as Zaan went and sat with Aditi, poking her playfully and cracking jokes that made her giggle half heartedly. He wanted to go over there grab Zaan by the collar and warn him to stay at least 100 metres away from her at all times, but he stayed still.

The music blasted and both Jahaan and Zaan lifted Aditi out of her seat to join the dancing crowd, he watched with burning eyes as Zaan spun her around and adorned her with color, that was his right to do first. He stood up and joined the crowd and danced harder, laughed louder to hide the rage the pounded in his veins.

He felt Aditi stand behind him awkwardly and ignored her, knowing just one look in her eyes and he would melt completely. Take her in to his arms and kiss her roughly, and he refused to do that, she should realise how angry he is. How hurt he is.

Aditi breathed heavily, shuddering as the cold night air hit her bare skin. She hated holi. She closed her eyes as awful memories flooded her mind, her cowering in discomfort or pushing away in distress her exes friends applied colours to her in such disgusting, degoratory ways and her ex just stood back and laughed. How they tried things with her and she would run off crying, hiding under the colours table until their rowdy laughter faded away.

She wrapped her arms around herself in discomfort and her breathing went shallow, she could feel it coming, a panic attack. There was only one person that could handle her when she had a panic attack, Zain. But today in his anger he seemed to forget her fear of Holi completely.

She tried walking away from the crowd to get some fresh air, and be away from the music and memories but was only dragged back in to the crowd again. She politely clapped along, but her heart beat raced so fast she could hear it, and her vision was slowly blacking out around the edges. Nasty memories infiltrated her mind, and she struggled to stay on her feet as the fear heightened in her body.

She walked off quickly, knowing the state she would be in front of everybody if she didn't.

Zain's eyes snapped to her immediately, worry stopping him in his step.

"Jaahan... check on her..." he turned back and said in a raspy broken voice, jahaan nodded in understanding and hurried behind her.

Zain ran his hands through his hair to calm himself down as a million different emotions attacked him, fear and anger and pain and worry. Then suddenly-

"Oh my God. Shit. Shit. I'm such a fucking idiot.'

He ran as his fast as his feet could take him, right past Jahaan who realised that Zain would handle aditi and made his way back to the sets to give them space.

...

"Oh Aditi..." he sighed as agony soars through his chest, his whisper was breaking in pain. He could  feel his eyes fill with feverish tears as fear flooded him.

Seeing her was like getting stabbed with a dagger, twisting in to his heart with each passing second, burying itself deeper and deeper in to his chest, ridden with guilt.

She  had fallen to the floor with her knees to her chest and her hands pressed up against her ears. Her eyes squeezed shut, as if trying to block something out. She was rocking back and forth as she tremored in sobs.

"Zain don't let them touch me- don't touch me- Zain- Zain won't let you touch me-"  She muttered over and over again like a frantic prayer inbetween her deafening cries, her breathing ragged.

"Aditi..." He whispered in devastation, kneeling down beside her.  He cupped her face in his hands, and it shattered him completely. She looked like a terrified child, her whole body shaking and tears falling down her red cheeks.

And there was so much fear in her eyes when she looked up at him helplessly, that it ripped his heart out of his chest, and made cries stick at the back of his throat.

"God... no baby... don't cry..." He begged desperately, biting back his tears. She looked so feeble and weak, that it wrenched his heart ruthlessly. He couldn't stand her tears

"Please don't cry like that... come here..." He held out his hands, and she immediately fell in to them, hiding her face in his chest and clutching to his shirt as if her life depended on it. She cried bitterly, her breathing still unsettled and jumpy.

"Zain- tell them not to touch me- mujhe bohot dhar lag rahi hai- Zain you weren't there- they were going to-"

"Shhh... Shh... it's okay... I'm here now..." He murmured softly in to her ears. He peppered desperate kisses all over her, her cheeks, her nose, her temple, her forehead. He pressed his cheek to her head kissing her hair,  as heart breaking guilty cries left his lips.

"Zain- they'll come again, they'll hurt me- please don't leave me-" She gasped for air, her panic heightening.

"Nobody will come- I promise... I'm here right? I won't let anything happen to you..." Agonising, lacerated guilt laced his tearful voice.

He cradled her against him, rocking her gently like you would to a baby you were putting to sleep. He ran his shaking hands through her hair, whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

"Take a deep breath..."

She hummed, trying but struggling with her paining chest. She grabs his arm for support, he frowned in pain at her state but maintained his composure for her. He breathes along with her, rubbing her back.

"And another one on three, okay? 1, 2, 3..."

She breathes deeply again, and he does the same, a tear falling down his face as he watches her struggle. He follows what the doctor had told him to do. Holding her bone crushingly tight in fear.

He held her in silence for sometime, as her eyes closed and she finally breathed steadily, her muscles relaxing. He tucked her hair out of her face tenderly, and his tears hit her skin as he couldn't hold back chunky sobs.

She opened her eyes slowly, frowning in confusion, "Did I?"

His words trembled with worry, "You panicked, and you were remembering-"

She threw her hands around his neck, burying her head in his neck and taking in his intoxicating musky scent, crying sorely, mumbling against his skin "I missed you so much"

Overwhelming relief that she was fine, and her innocent words made all his guilt suddenly resurface as he allowed himself to cry, he whimpered in to her hair, pressing her as close as he could to his chest and "I'm so, so sorry baby... I should have been here... i should have remembered, i was a fucking idiot-"

"No its my fault Zain..." She whispered under her breath just to him, her heart burdened. "I shouldn't have-"

"No that's not an excuse, i should have been here, you were so scared I- I-" He was at a loss for words, stumbling between his guilt ridden tears. He just stared at her, and all the love, guilt, anger and self hatred hit him like a hard blow to the stomach.

"God Aditi... I love you...." He whispered softly, with desperation, passion and spontaneity. The feeling that flooded him was incredibly raw and beautiful.

He captures her lips, kissing her hungrily, brushing against her soft pillowy lips. He kisses her desperately, like a man starved for days.

"I love you too.."  she sighs back breathlessly inbetween the kiss, making him frown in emotion.

He bites her lip possessively, eliciting a small moan from her that made his body tense in desire. He presses big wet butterfly kisses down from her temple to her neck.

She giggled softly, a musical sound that made the biggest smile appear on his face.

"What?" He chuckled at her loud laughter, stroking her cheek.

"Your beard is tickling me..." She grinned, running her hand along his jaw and caressing his stubble.

He traces her soft pink lips, as if in awe, because they were the softest lips in the world and he had the right to kiss them. He wipes away the rest of her tears with his thumb, smiling at her in admiration.

"I swear to God..." He sighs, as if entranced by the magic in her smile. "I'm never going to let you cry again. I never want to see you cry like that again..."

"I'm sorry-"

"Hey," He coerced, kissing her forehead and just resting against it. "shhh... it's okay, we can talk about it later..."

"Let's go home..."

...

They laid on the sofa, in each others arms, Zain held her tightly by her middle, snuggling in to her chest, with his exhausted eyes peering at her, half open. He let her distract herself on her phone, he knew it would be difficult to talk about it, and she was too worn out from her panic attack. She lazily ran her hand through his hair as she used her other to scroll through on her phone.

"What are you looking at?"

"Instagram..."

"Aditi..." He warned grabbing at her phone, but she hid it away.  "I don't want you looking at those disgusting things..."

"Stop worrying idiot... I'm fine..." She hit his chest playfully with a small smile.

"I have a right to be worried okay? I'm your boyfriend... Don't look at those stupid things..." He furrowed his brows in concern, his cheeks flushing cutely in anger.

"I wont-"

"Why don't you look at some nice things- like- Oh!" His face lit up with excitement, as he grinned like a baby. "Me!"

"He Bhagwhan...."  She smirked at Zain, shoving him teasingly. "What did I do to get such a self obsessed boyfriend..."

"I'm not-"

Zain's phone rang, and he picked it up immediately as if he was awaiting someone's call, " As-Salaam-Alaikum Ammi..." a smile broke out on to his face after hearing his mother's voice. (A/N: Zain's side knows of their relationship, but Aditi's side doesn't, as she is scared they wont approve and she has many complications from her past.)

"Wa-Alaikum- Assalaam beta..." She replied, smiling tenderly. "Meri bacchi ko dedho..." (give it to my child)

"Aditi..." He called out to her, making her ask what through raising her eyebrows. "Ammi hai..."

She takes the phone with a joyous smile that falls off her face when Zain mouths, 'I told her...'

'Zain!' She mouths angrily, crossing her arm across her chest.

'I'm sorry, I just thought a woman might handle these body image issues better...' he mouthed back, pouting in disappointment.

'But your mother!?' She mouthed in bewilderment.

He shrugged with so much innocenct care in his eyes that she couldn't help but grin at his love and concern and attempt to fix it all.

"Aditi beta mein sahi suna?" She asked sternly, the way her own mother would reprimand her. (Did I hear rightly?)

"Sorry Ammi mein-"

"Meri pyaari bacchi inti din ke liye kuch nahi khaya aur woh bhi us bewakoof ladka ke liye?" (My lovely daughter didn't eat for so many days and that too for that stupid boy)

"Ammi!" Zain exclaimed, who sat with his ear pressed to the other side of the phone like a child to hear the conversation.

"Chup kar..." His mother lovingly complained. (Shut up£

"Meri baat suno Aditi beta..." She explained gently, "mein jhanti hu... mein is zaamana ki nahi hu tho mujhe yeh sab samaj nahi aata... par bus ek baat yaad rakhna, meri khubsurat bacchi ko is duniya ke liye, ya Zain ke liye aur koi ke liye bhi khud ko baadalne ki zarowath nahi hai... samji?" (Listen to me Aditi beta,  I know... I'm not from this generation and so I don't understand... but just remember one thing, my beautiful daughter doesn't need to change herself for the world, Zain or anybody... understand?)

She sniffled back the tears that made their way to her eyes, there was something about a mother's love, hthat could soothe a child like magic "ji Ammi..."

"And I'm coming on Sunday okay? To come and fatten you up with all your favourites..."

"Ji-"

"Dadi! Khon hai?" A lisping baby voice called on the other side in enthusiasm. (Who is it?)

She gasped in joy, "Inaaya!"

Zain's mother passed the phone over to Inaaya, pulling her in to her lap.

"Chachi?!" Inaaya asked adorably, excitement bubbling in her voice. Aditi had easily made her place as favourite. Of course, she hadn't become her chachi quite yet, but she loved the sound of it anyway.

"Oh Inaaya baby..." She sighed, she loved this little one with all her heart. "class kaisi hai?" (How is class?)

"Meri sab kuch teek hai Chachi, par aap tho sad lagti hu?" She questioned innocently. (Everything is fine with me Chachi, but you seem sad?)

"Mein bilkhul teek hu... promise baby..." Zain reached over and squeezed her hand with a smile. He adored her bond with his family, it warmed his heart.

"Aap aur chachu kab ayeenga mujhe milne?" (When will you and Chachu come to meet me?)

"Soon... Hai na Chachu?" Aditi called him lovingly, mimicking Inaaya, stroking his arm.

"Haan bilkhul..."  Zain smiled back at her, leaning over to quickly peck Aditi's tempting lips just because he just couldn't resist her cuteness.

"I miss you!" Inaayaa yelled, overly hyper, breaking their moment.

Aditi chuckled, leaning her head on his shoulder as he automatically wraps his arm around her side. "We miss you too baby..." She sighed.

"Ab meri baari Adu!" Zain snatched the phone off her, a infectious grin spreading across his face, "Inaaya!" (My turn now Adu)

"Chachu!" She squealed in happiness, giggling.

"Bolo Inaaya..." He sighed, with an affectionate smile. "aaj kal tum koi ladke ki saath ghoom nahi rahi ho na?" (Say Inaaya, you haven't been roaming around with any boys recently have you?)

"Zain!"  Aditi gasped, punching his chest at his obscenity.

"What?! I'm not letting her anywhere near boys until she's 30 and married to a guy I've conducted at least 20 background checks on..."

"She'll be fine... let her live baba..." She chuckled, cooing at him and ruffling his hair.

"No way. You and Inaaya... both of you 100 metres away from all boys at all times... You especially Miss Rathore." He said in all seriousness, pulling a jealous face.

"Why me especially?"

"Because you're mine."

....