**TRIGGER WARNING**

Saturday

I woke up to the sound of people talking downstairs and groaned. I got up from the bed and ruffled my hair. I pulled on black sweats and a grey sweater. I walked in my bathroom, did my business and brushed my teeth. I stepped out of the bathroom and walked out of my room. I walked downstairs and saw Mr. Payne sitting at the dining table drinking coffee and almost choked on my saliva. He turned around and looked at me with wide eyes. "Zayn?", he asked and I coughed. "Hi", I said and walked past him. I took a coffee cup from the cupboard and filled it with coffee. I poured in some milk and added sugar.

I stirred it with a spoon and headed to my room. "Good morning Zayn", Rose said. "Uh morning", I said. "Join us", she said smiling and I turned around. I walked to the table and sat opposite from Mr. Payne. I sipped my coffee and my so called parents sat at the table too. "This is Liam, Liam this is Zayn", Rose spoke and I gave Mr. Payne a weak smile. "I didn't know you had a child", Mr. Payne said looking at Rose and Mark. "He's just staying here until he turns eighteen", Mark spoke and I sipped my coffee again.

"Oh okay, can I ask you why?", Mr. Payne asked with a chuckle. "His family-", Rose started but I cut her off.  "No, you can't, it's none of your business", I said and Mr. Payne looked at me with a weak smile. "Zayn", Mark said in a warning tone and I looked at him. "Go to your room and think about manners", he spoke and I nodded. I got up, took my coffee cup from the table and walked in my room. I sat on my bed and sipped my coffee. I put the coffee cup on the bedside table and picked up my guitar from the floor.

I've got scars even though they can't always be seen
And pain gets hard
But now you're here and I don't feel a thing
Pay attention
I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless

I stopped singing when I heard the knock on my door. "Come in", I said and put the guitar on the floor again. Mr. Payne walked in closing the door and walked closer to me. "Did you tell them that you're my teacher?", I asked and he shook his head. "How did you get up here?", I asked. "I told them that I wanted you to apologize for snapping at me", he said and I looked down nodding. "Yea, I'm-", I started but he cut me off. "Stop, you don't have to apologize, I understand, it was none of my business", he said and I looked up. I nodded a bit and he gave me a weak smile.

"Are you okay?", he asked and I nodded. "'m fine", I said and he nodded. "Can I ask you something?", he asked still standing in the middle of my room. I nodded and ruffled my hair. "How long have you lived with Rose and Mark?", he asked. "Few weeks but I'm moving out soon", I said and he nodded. "Why are you here?", I asked. "Rose is a friend from my childhood", he told me and I nodded.

"Mr. Payne", I said when he was about to walk out of the room. "Call me Liam when we're out of school", he said and I nodded. "Can you not bring this up in school?", I asked and he nodded. "Of course", he said and I nodded looking down. "Thank you", I said quietly and took in a deep breath. "I'll see you in school", he said and I nodded still looking down. "See you", I said and he walked out of my room.

I leaned my face in my hands and broke down. I walked in my bathroom and locked the door behind me. "Zayn, we're leaving out", Mark yelled and slammed the front door shut. I took out my blade and stripped my sweater off. I pressed the blade against my skin and dragged it across my wrist. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and dragged the blade across my skin again. I did it again and again until I didn't feel bad anymore. I hid the blade and stripped my pants off. I stepped in the shower and groaned when the warm water burned the cuts on my wrist. I took a deep breath and washed myself. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist.

I cleaned the blood from the floor and stepped in my room. I pulled on black skinny jeans and a dark blue button up. I rolled the sleeves to my elbows and slipped bracelets on my wrist. I ruffled my hair with the towel and pocketed my phone and keys. I walked in Mark's office and looked through his cabinets. I took a bottle of booze from there and walked back in my room. I shoved the bottle in my backpack and walked downstairs. I pulled on my white Converse and walked out of the house.

I headed to the park in town and fished a cigarette from my pocket. I lit it and sucked on it. I breathed out the smoke and felt myself calm down a bit. I arrived to the park and sat down on a bench. I finished the cigarette, dropped it on the ground and stepped on it. I took out the bottle from my backpack and opened it. I took a big mouthful of it and swallowed. I groaned a bit when it burned my throat.

After a while the bottle was almost empty, my vision was blurry and lips numb. I drank rest of the booze and placed the empty bottle next to me on the bench. I took a cigarette from my pocket, lit it and breathed in the smoke. I breathed out and bit my lower lip. "Zayn", someone said and I looked around. I saw Mr. Payne, or Liam as he asked me to call him, walk towards me. I sucked on the cig again and Liam sat next to me taking the empty bottle in his hand. "Zayn, did you drink this?", he asked and I looked at him. "Yep", I said and dropped the cigarette on the ground. I got up from the bench and felt dizzy. "Woah, you okay there?", Liam asked standing next to me and holding me up from my bicep. I nodded and pulled my arm out of his grib.

"Zayn, how about I call Rose?", he asked taking out his phone. "No, no, please don't", I said quickly and he looked at me with a worried look. "What's wrong?", he asked. "They can't know, they'll kill me, please Liam", I begged and he pocketed his phone. "Where are you supposed to go then?", he asked. "I'm sleeping behind the house", I spoke and he shook his head. "I can't let you sleep outside", he said and I shrugged. I started to walk back home but Liam grabbed me from my bicep again and I looked at him.

"You can sleep at my place", he said and I chuckled. "Yea, right", I said. "You either stay with me or I'm gonna have to call Rose", he said and I bit my lip. "Okay, I'm coming with you", I said and he nodded. "Okay, can you walk by yourself?", he asked and I nodded. He took his hand off of me and I followed him. "Where do you live?", I asked and he looked at me. "Just around the corner", he said and I nodded. I stopped walking and leaned on a tree. "Zayn, what's wrong?", Liam asked walking to me. "I feel sick", I said and he nodded. "Do you need to throw up?", he asked and I shook my head.

"Help me?", I asked and he nodded. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I put mine around his shoulders. "This is so wrong", I spoke to myself. "Okay, we're here", Liam said after a while and we stepped in a house. "Come on", he said when I stopped and I just shook my head. "Zayn, you can't just stay here", he said and I looked down to the floor. "Oh my god", I heard him say and suddenly he was carrying me up the stairs holding me bridal style.

I was laid down on a bed and I sighed closing my eyes. "Zayn", Liam said and I looked at him. "Can I take your clothes off, you'd be more comfortable?", he asked and I just nodded. "Sure", I spoke and he nodded. He unbuttoned my shirt, pulled me up so I was sitting on the bed and took the shirt off of me. He pushed me back down on the bed and unbuttoned my jeans. He pulled them off and pulled a blanket over me. "Can I take your bracelets off?", he asked and I shook my head. "No, don't", I said and he nodded.

"I'm gonna get you some water, okay?", he asked, I nodded and he was out of the door. After a while he came back holding a glass of water and I gave him a weak smile. He helped me to sit up and handed the glass to me. I drank the water and lied on the bed again. "Liam", I said taking his hand in mine and he hummed. "Thank you", I said and he nodded. "Try to get some sleep", he told me and I nodded. "Goodnight", I said taking my hand from his and closed my eyes. "Goodnight Zayn", he said and I drifted off.