Monday

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock and sighed. "Last week, you can do this", I mumbled to myself and shut the alarm off. I got up from bed and rubbed my face which sent pain through my body. I groaned quietly and walked in my bathroom. I looked at myself from the mirror and ran my fingers over the new bruise on the corner of my eye. I stripped my clothes off, stepped in the shower and washed myself. I stepped back out, wrapped a towel around my waist and brushed my teeth.

I stepped back in my room and headed to the dresser. I pulled on black sweats and a black hoodie because I wasn't in the mood to even try to look good. I ruffled my hair a bit and pulled the hood on. I threw my backpack on my back and shoved my keys, cigarettes, lighter and phone in my pockets. I walked out of my room and headed downstairs. I pulled on my shoes and stepped out of the house. I fished a cigarette from my pocket and lit it. I sucked on it and breathed the smoke out.

I took one last smoke from the cigarette when the school was in my sight, dropped the stub and stepped on it. I took a water bottle out of my backpack and took a sip from it. I put it back in my backpack and walked behind the school. "Zaynie, you okay?", Louis asked looking me up and down. I looked down to my clothes and shrugged leaning next to him on the wall. "Didn't feel like dressing up, not a big deal", I told him and fished a cigarette from my pocket. I lit it and smiled to Harry and Niall who were standing in front of us again.

I gestured the cigarette towards Niall, he shook his head and I nodded sucking on the cancer stick. "What happened to your eye?", Niall asked. "Just got in a fight, it's fine though", I said and he nodded. I zoned out but I woke up back to reality when Louis was poking me and trying to talk to me. "Yea?", I asked looking at the boy next to me and he let out a sigh. "Are you okay, you didn't respond to anything and your hands are shaking", he asked and I looked down to my hands which were actually shaking. "I'm fine", I told him and took one last breath of smoke from the cigarette. I breathed it out, dropped the smoke and stepped on it.

We walked in the school and headed in the English class. We stepped in the class and sat like we always did, Niall next to me and Louis and Harry next to each other. I looked at Mr. Payne and he ran his finger over his cheekbone as in to ask about my bruise. I gave him a weak smile and he nodded a bit. "Zayn, what are you doing on your birthday?", Louis asked and I looked at him. "I don't know, graduate, move out", I said with a small chuckle. "Woah, straight away, I guess you really don't like the foster family", he said and I nodded. "I guess I don't", I said and looked at Liam who sent me a small smile.

"And I'm going out with someone in the evening", I said looking back at Louis and he smirked. I rolled my eyes at him and the bell rang. I took my notebook from my backpack and started to write. "Mr. Malik", I heard someone say and looked up. "Can you please take your hood off in class?", Mr. Payne asked. "I would rather not", I told him and looked down to my notebook. "You can either take it off now or stay here after class", he said and I hummed zoning out again.

The bell rang and I lifted my eyes from the notebook. I stayed seated because I had to stay after class for not taking the hood off. Mr. Payne closed the door when everyone was out and walked in front of my desk. "What's wrong Zayn?", he asked and I looked up at him. "Nothing", I said and he sighed. "I can tell something's bothering you", he said and I shrugged. "I can handle it", I said and bit my lower lip. "What about your eye?", he asked. "It's fine, a little sore but fine", I said and he nodded.

Tears filled my eyes and I looked down to my hands. I took a deep breath and blinked the tears away. "I should go", I said clearing my throat and got up. I packed my backpack and looked at Mr. Payne. "You can talk to me Zayn", he said and I nodded. "I know but I don't need to talk, I'm fine", I told him but I could see he didn't believe me. "You know where to find me if you change your mind", he said and I nodded.

"I really should go now", I said and he nodded. He grabbed my hand in his when I walked past him and I turned around. "Hang in there, it's just few more days and you get the freedom you deserve", he said and I nodded. "Thank you", I said and kissed his cheek without thinking. I blushed and he smiled. I nodded a bit and walked out of the room.

"So, you're going out with Mr. Payne on your birthday?", Louis asked smirking and I placed my hand over his mouth. "Shut it Tommo", I whisper yelled and Niall and Harry chuckled. I took my hand away from his mouth and he chuckled too. "You need to keep your mouth shut, I don't want him to get in any trouble", I said and he nodded. "I know and I was sure the hallway was empty", he said and I nodded with a smile. "Let's get to class", I said and we walked to our next class.

I pushed through the canteen doors and headed down the hall to the English class. I didn't know if Mr. Pay- fuck it, Liam was there but it was worth the shot. I stepped in his class with tears in my eyes and slammed the door closed. He looked up from his work and I leaned against the wall. He got up from his chair and I sniffled as tears fell down my cheek. "I just need someone to hold me", I choked out and he walked to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I fisted his shirt. "It's gonna be okay", he said playing with the hairs on the back of my neck. His other hand was on my lower back and I cried to his chest.

He kept whispering sweet nothings in my ear and after a while I calmed down and stopped crying. I pulled away from the hug and leaned on the door behind me. Liam cupped my cheeks and wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs. "Do you wanna talk about it?", he asked still standing in front of me. "I just, I realized that my family won't see me graduate, you know, everyone else's parents and siblings will be there all proud but not mine", I said and took a deep breath. "Yea, but I will be here and I will be proud", he said and I broke into a smile. "Thank you", I said and he nodded. "Of course", he said.

"You know I really should go", I said with a chuckle and he nodded looking me in the eyes. "I know but I don't want you to go", he said. "I'm fine, nothing's gonna happen", I said and he nodded. "Can I call you tonight?", he asked. "Yea, sure", I said. "But I'm gonna be looking for apartments today", I said and he nodded. "Take someone with you", he said and I chuckled. "Do you think I can't do it by myself?", I asked and he shook his head. "I have learned that you always need another opinion when it comes to apartments or houses", he said with a chuckle and I nodded. "Yea, I'll ask Tommo to come", I said and he nodded.

"I have to go now", I said and he nodded. He kissed my forehead and I smiled blushing. "I'll call you", he said and I nodded. He stepped away from me and I stepped out of the class. I walked to the back of the school and saw the boys. I fished a cigarette from my pocket, lit it and leaned against the wall next to Louis. "Where did you go during lunch?", Louis asked. "I just went to see Liam", I said and he smirked. I shrugged and sucked on the cancer stick. "And by the way", I said blowing out the smoke. "I'm going to see some apartments today and he asked me to take someone with me, so you're coming", I said and Louis chuckled. "Of course", he said and I nodded.

I saw Niall looking at my cigarette and pushed my arm towards him. He looked me in the eyes and I smiled. He took the cigarette from me and sucked on it, this time he didn't cough at all. "Better?", I asked when he blew the smoke out and he shrugged. He sucked on it again and handed it back to me. I chuckled a bit and breathed in the smoke from the cigarette.

I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."
But I don't care,
I'm not scared of love.
'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker.
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong
That you make me strong?