"Okay guys, gals and....you get the point lets hope right into it hm?" nuri tipped her head as she scanned the crowd

"what are we reacting to?"

"TIKTOKS"

"oh nice! we haven't done a tiktok in so long!"

"right so since i'm on a clock lets jump into it!"

"wait why are you on a clock?"

"huh? oh because i promised nora not to do this segment without him but he is still dealing with those trouble makers so why not just get it over with?"

"that is.......very sly of you"

"heheh i know! anyways usually i would give you guys background info but this one kind of already says it all so eyes on the screen!"

The scene opens to wei wuxian wearing his iconic red and black robes and his hair in a high ponytail held by his usual red ribbion as he sang to the screen

Wwx: no I never been with a baddie eh

as he sang he slowly swing his hips to the rhythm side to side with his right hand up while his left held on to the front of his robes with his head bowed

"that's so sexy"

"okay i honestly have to agree with the perv that his kinda hot"

"yeah same"

"you do all realize that he is married and his husband is standing RIGHT there right?"

"yeah and?"

"let a girl-"

"-or guy!"

"-dream for once"

"i-okay fine go get yourself killed!"

"oh yes please! anything to be choked to death by hanguang-jun's hands!"

"ALL OF YOU ARE SICK IN THE HEAD!"

Wwx: she call so I add her to the tally....

He raised his head as he tried to remember the rest of the lyrics

Wwx: .....oh shit okay here we go

He suddenly bend down and lifted a piece of white cloth and throwing it to the screen

The beat dropped as the cloth slid off showing wwx wearing his lan spouse robes with his hair lose

"WOAH!!!"

"DAYUM LOOK AT THAT!"

"OH MY GOD! YHAS QUEEN!

He was standing giving his back to the viewers while yet again his right hand is raised while his left is bunching his front robes making the outline of his cake more visible

"OOOOOH YEAH HE DO GOT SOME PEACHES!"

"OI STOP SALIVATING OVER THE SIGHT OF MY MOM!"

"YEAH QUITE IT THAT'S NOT COOL!"

"YOU CAN'T HONESTLY BLAME US!"

"WHY ARE WE SHOUTING!?"

"...."

"..."

The only difference was that lan wangji was with him holding wei wuxian by his waist in a comfortable way allowing wei ying to have his forehead resting against his shoulder

Both wei ying and lan zhan was doing the hip sway

"oh my gods power couple!"

"they look so hot!"

"this should be illegalllllll"

Music: no I've never been with a baddie she call so imma add her to the tally

Suddenly wei wuxian's raised hand folded into a middle finger the most shocking thing is lan wangji did the same with his free hand

"and i oop!?"

"wangji?"

"ahhhhhhhh oh my godssssssss"

"ayo da-shijie you good?"

"yup"

Music : maddison but I'm calling her Maddy

Wwx then hoped onto lan wangji who places his hands on his ass giving a slight grope before walking out of camera view

"lucky!"

"oh shut up you perv ofc he gets to grope him! they are married!"

"HMPH!"

"wangji don't be smug"

Music: like nice try send me that addy (no idea wtf it says here)

The screen went black

"so?"

"first of all, wei wuxian! you should not be that hot!"

"yeah it's illegal!"

"you can't be that fine and not expect others to want you you idiot!"

"yeah look at how many of the males in here are blushing and most certainly have bone-"

"ALRIGHT!"

"All of you need help let's just dive into the next one!"

The scene opens up to 15 yr old wwx and lwj stuck in the xuanwu cave at a specific time

Wwx: lan zhan......you like mianmian?

".....this didn't really happen right? Tell me this didn't happen or I swear I'm smacking wei wuxian" jc eye twitches

"....mn"

"...OH COME ON WEI WUXIAN!!"

"WHAT!?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT WANGJI JUST CONFIRMED THIS HAPPENED!"

"WELL IM SORRY IF I THOUGHT-wait how did you know that?"

"No what?"

"...that lan zhan's 'mn' from awhile ago meant yes?"

"...."

"..."

"..."

"Secrets of the universe"

"A-sang.....shut up"

"Well damn no body appreciates me"

Lwj:....

A silhouette of Lan wangji then pulled away from the still frozen second jade as it stared at wei ying like he was a dumbass

"What the-!?"

"Oh it's this what we call the inner self?"

"Right as always xichen! This is indeed what a-zhan would have said if he wasn't...well ....jade-like"

The silhouette then rubbed his eyes

Silo-lan zhan: im going to have to put on my fucking DOUBLE seeing glasses

"I-"

"Lan zhan!-dont look away as if you did nothing!!!"

The silhouette then widen it's eyes but finding it not wide enough he used his fingers to open them even more as he stared directly in wei ying eyes

"Oh my hahhahhahahha"

"AHHAHAHAHHAHA I WISH THIS DID HAPPEN!!"

"AHAHA WHY DOES HE PFFFT-"

Silo-lan zhan: because I can even BEGIN to see the amount of BULLSHIT

"AGREED"

"OKAY I GET IT!!!"

the silhouette lan zhan chucked his show at wei ying which fazed right through him

"LAN ZHAN DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR SHOE AT ME!?" wei wuxian squeaked in betrayal before he got up to sit somewhere else

But he never got far before wangji yanked him into straddling his lap and stuffing his face into his chest

"OMPH!"

a muffle Yelp came from that area

The screen went black

"That was very annoying"

"Yes it was but I also enjoyed hanguang-jun commentary"

"Yup I could only imagine how frustrated he must have felt"

"Welp last one before a short break"

The scene opens to Jin ling being picked on by two rouge cultivators

"Just began and I'm already planning a murder" jc

"Keep those faces in mind a-cheng I wanna find them when we get outta here"

"Way ahead of you"

"Ah that's right THIS is why I hate this family"

"Scary....."

Music: GPs your function

Then switch to Jin ling being shoved against a tree before one of the rouge cultivators strike him against the cheek sending him flying to the ground

"WHO DARES!?" the room was suddenly filled with red and purple energies making everyone feel uneasy and unable to properly breath

Music: you don't know what lit means

Fairy is also seen beaten bloody near the tree still growling and trying to force itself up to save it's master

"GRRRRRR"jc & wwx

"......the growling men aside I find it very heart warming how fairy is still trying to protect Jin ling"

"Of course! Fairy is a good girl!"

".....still hate the fact you named your fat dog fairy"

"Wei! Fairy is not fat!! And no one cares if you like her name of not"

".......it's still stupid"

"YOU-"

Music: space boys with space dreams

Jin ling seeing the rouge cultivators about to strike him with thier swords now quickly scream out for the others

"OOP RUN BITCH!RUUUUUUN!"

"......why aren't they running!?"

"They think they have the upper hand"

"Which is dumb also are we just going to ignore those to plotting a murder?"

"Yup"

"Pretty much"

"I wouldn't disturb them"

Music: cake creams and ray beams

The rouge cultivators laughed thinking Jin ling was really pity full and was about to strike him until

"I can FEEL how fucked they are"

"Same"

"I know right these men don't even know that their lives are in danger"

Music: I got my teeeeeeeeeeeeeeam, I got my team I got my team

The screen continuously flashed white as the two cultivators suddenly each had a very sharp sword to thier throats which was already drawing blood while there was spirit binding rope being wrapped around them at inhuman fast rates

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?"

"not even suprised at this point"

"Yeah this family is badass enough I'm tired of being suprised"

"Definitely"

Music: I got my teeeeeeeeeeeeeeam, I got my team I got my team

Behind them stood sizhui and jingyi looking really malicious with there swords at the person's neck glaring into thier soul

"No one talks about how demonic they look?"

"Agreed"

While zizhen stood behind the two juniors, arms still out in the position to control the bindings

The screen goes black

"Wow I didn't know you could control the bindings so well zizhen"

"Hehehe yeah sang-gege taught me!"

"..... huaisang...taught you?"

"Yup!"

"Wait since when where you guys so close?"

"Since tea time with the tea pals!"

"Okay! nuri, the stage is yours I'm done with these mfs"

"Hahahah okay why don't you guys take a break while I load a special segment for you guys?"

"Special segment?"

"Yuppers!"

TO BE CONTINUED