a/n: HI! the title of this is actually quite literal, it's two stories in one chapter. i sort of went off topic on the second story, but it's probably fine. i see a lot of people being really sad in the comments but i find it kind of funny that y'all are crying over something i wrote at three am while listening to y.m.c.a. on repeat-

TW- crying, panic, blaming yourself, mentions of death (slightly graphic), lmk if i missed something

~~~STORY ONE~~~

After his and Puffy's... conversation, Jack had been doing better. Doing that therapy thing. Sure, Tommy still bothered him, especially when he would pay Jack a visit just to shout at him about how he doesn't rightfully own the hotel. But he was fine, he was working on it.

Today, however, Jack did not feel like dealing with anyone. He woke up to rain, and had to walk through it pouring down on him, as he had plans for the hotel today. Halfway there, he slipped and landed on his face, causing a nosebleed. All in all, he was not having a good day.

"OI BITCH!" Of fucking course.

"What do you want, Tommy?" Jack asked, clearly annoyed.

"Well, I was just thinking back, and I realized that you tried to fucking kill me? The fuck was that about?" Tommy asked, feigning offense, but honestly not caring that much.

Don't cry, don't fucking cry Jack, DON'T CRY-

"Well, who wouldn't want to kill you?" Success! Jack Manifold has escaped his feelings once again!

"Lot's of people! You know, I've been doing theropay, and Puffy said that I matter! Of course, I already knew, but she also says I should avoid people- which is basically the same as killing right?- who treat me like this! So, if Puffy says to kill you, I better get to it!" Tommy was trying to joke around, thinking that Jack was as well, based on his response.

Jack however, was not planning on joking around today. "Oh my fucking- JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! THIS IS WHY I TRIED TO KILL YOU!"

Tommy's face fell. "The fuck is wrong with you, prick? I was just joking around, you're the man who stole a dead seventeen year old's hotel and won't give it back!"

Jack did not almost cry. "I didn't steal your hotel, someone had to run it- you- you were dead! It's my hotel now, NOT yours."

"OH, SO IT'S YOUR HOTEL JACK?"

"YES THAT'S-"

"No, it's not your hotel, Jack. You don't fucking deserve it." Tommy started to turn away to go home when he saw Jack's tear filled eyes.

"The fuck?" Was all Tommy could say in response to Jack's face.

And he did not break down. Jack Manifold did not break down in front of the boy he tried to kill, his enemy, his old friend- And Jack Manifold is such a liar. He did break down. And he did cry. Just like Puffy all over again, except he knew Tommy would just take this chance to get back at him and kill him. Jack closed his eyes as his breathing constricted and he waited for the pain. This time he would just stay down there.

The pain never came. He was met with kind eyes, which were usually so filled with hate. "...ack? I need... breathe for me. That's it, in and out."

A few minutes later that sat in silence. "The fuck was that about? I mean- why'd you wanna kill me?"

"I- I dunno. It's been tough. I'm not much more than a kid, but you, Tubbo, Purpled, and Ranboo get treated so kindly by anyone with an ounce of pity in their veins. But I'm-I'm just treated like an adult! I'm only one year older than you, you know. But I'm the big bad villain because I am of legal age." It wasn't exactly a lie. But it wasn't the whole truth either.

"I honestly never really thought about that. Fuck- I'm sorry, big man." Tommy stuttered out an apology.

"Yeah, it-it's fine." It wasn't.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a minute or two, picking and their nails, fighting with their hands, knowing eventually they would have to say something again. "Jack?"

"Yeah?" Here it comes, he would make fun of him and attack him, laugh at him for not realizing it was all just a trick-

"That doesn't explain why you only try to kill me. Look, i know most people find me annoying at first, but this is just biased." Tommy half-joked, trying not to upset Jack again.

Oh. "Well I-I dunno, Tommy."

"We both know you're lying."

They sat in an awkward silence again. Jack messed with his glasses. Tommy ran a hand through his hair.

"Well- Toms," (Jack hadn't called him that in such a long time, how long had it been?) "I don't know if you remember this-" (of course he didn't, idiot, why would anyone actually care?) "but you- you kinda killed me?" Jack said with an awkward laugh.

"What? Like- like canon? When?"

"Exile."

Tommy froze. He hated thinking about exile, but he didn't even remember Jack visiting him how could he have- oh. Oh shit. "That KILLED you?"

"Yeah I mean- you- you let me burn in lava!" Jack laughed uncomfortably once more, "Oh, it hurt so bad..."

Jack hoped Tommy didn't hear that part. It was all his fault really, Tommy wasn't thinking straight in exile, it can't of been Tommy's fault- "I'm so fucking sorry Jack. Does that mean- does that mean you have one life left?"

Jack couldn't help but let out a harsh laugh. "I'm DEAD, Toms. Before you ask, Wilbur took the first on 'accident', apparently you did the same, and Technoblade took the last."

"I'm- no offense Jack- but why would Dream revive you?"

"He didn't, Tommy. I dragged myself out of hell. I'm just that badass." the older of the two said, laughing genuinely for the first time since that had started talking.

Tommy laughed too, but had a faraway look in his eyes. "I really am sorry, Jack."

"I know. I'm sorry too."

"I know."

For the third time that night, they sat in silence. This time, it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. They were still hurting, but they were friends, and they were at peace with each other. Maybe, over time, all of this would fade into the background, just a painful memory. For now, though, they were friends again, and they had each other. And that was enough for them.

~~~STORY TWO~~~

Jack knew his friends were busy. You know, right? Sometimes your friends are busy, sometimes you're just... not the favorite friend!

So why does it hurt so bad..?

Never mind that! Jack was fine, he's the Jack Manifold, for christ's sake! If he wasn't okay, then... well, he didn't know...

"Oi! Jack! We're vlogging man! You can't just zone out like that!" Tommy called out to him.

Jack smiled. He knew this was Tommy's way of asking if he was alright. See! His friends obviously cared about him! He was just... lower on the priority list. Which was fair! I mean, he had closer friends than others and all-

"Jack!"

Oh right. "Be there in a second, Tommy!"

He got about one minute of screen time in the vlog. It was fine though! There were lots of other people, it makes sense right?

Oh! Right! They were going to have a movie night! Jack was looking forward to that one.

"Oof, sorry, Jack, there aren't any more spots on the couch..."

Eh, it was fine. Sure, he felt sort of out of place sitting on the floor by himself, but you know- it- there just wasn't any room.

It was the end of the night, and everyone but Jack had gotten to pick a movie.

"So, what are we watching now, fellas?" Tommy asked.

Finally! Jack's turn to pick! "Oh! I was thinking-"

"How about we watch Mean Girls?" Niki suggested, "Half of us are almost asleep anyways."

"Sure!"

Oh... everyone else was fine with it, it's probably okay. He had a good movie in mind, but it's probably too late. Oh. It's like four AM. Yeah, it was fine. No one would have really liked the movie anyways. It was a dumb idea. Silly Jack. Stupid Manifold.

Everyone was lying against each other, relaxing, falling asleep. Jack was sitting on the floor. Wide awake. His eyes were kinda burning.

"Don't have sex! Because you will get pregnant, and you will die." The movie droned on in the background.

Jack let out a wet chuckle at that. Wait- since when was he crying? It's fine, he was probably just tired, he over catastrophes things when he's tired. Yeah. (He's... never done that before.)

He finished watching the movie.

***

Everyone woke up around eleven. Jack stayed up.

"Early riser, eh?" Wilbur questioned.

It took Jack a moment (maybe a bit too long) to realize that Wilbur was talking to him. Wilbur. Was talking to him.

"Oh- er- yeah, heh."

They sat in an awkward silence as Jack picked at the skin next to his nails. I should probably stop that, he thought, continuing to do it.

Once everyone was awake, some people decided to make lunch. Jack didn't really pay attention. They all laughed and talked without him. It was honestly his fault, he should try to talk more often, he can't just expect people to actually talk to him.

He scoffed at himself. Here his dumbass was, wallowing in self pity. He should just go talk to someone! And so he did.

"Hey! Niki, what-"

"Just a second, Jack."

Oh, right. He could just talk to Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo! Yeah!

"Hey, Tommy-"

"D'you mind?" Tommy didn't miss the look of hurt that flashed across Jack's face.

"Wait I-" Tommy started to apologize.

"Sorry, Tommy. I'm going for a walk." Jack muttered.

God, why did Jack say it like that? That was so rude, why do these people even put up with him?

They...they really shouldn't have to, Jack thought.

He wasn't sure where he was walking to. Shit. He wasn't sure where he was walking to- He left his phone at Tubbo's place- Oh god, oh god.

And after he was so rude to Tommy!

His thoughts stopped spiraling as one forced it's way to the front. Why is this even a bad thing? You said it yourself: they're better off without you.

Yeah... he did say that, didn't he. He bets that Wilbur and Niki haven't even noticed he's gone. Just goes to show how insignificant he is.

*MeAnWhiLe*

"Okay, Jack, what were you-?" Niki turned around to talk to him, but.. he just wasn't there. "Tommy? Where's Jack?" She called over to Tommy, who was anxiously chatting with the two other teenagers.

Tommy's head snapped up to look at Niki "He said- he went on a walk."

Niki, still being worried at Jack's sudden disappearance, called him. They could hear both lines of ringing. Shit.

Tubbo's face fell. "He- he doesn't know this area- oh god, he'll get lost-!"

So, they set out.

***

Jack was just wandering farther away. He figured he'd have to go back eventually, but he would just give them a little bit more time to themselves. They deserved it, for putting up with him. He would just ask for directions or something if he couldn't find his own way.

"Excuse me, sir, have you seen a guy with a shaved head, lanky, but shorter than me, i think he was wearing a striped sweatshirt- oh god it sounds like Im describing a criminal-" Tommy asked, clearly worried.

The man merely laughed and pointed in one direction (;])

"Jack oh my god! Jack, thank god we found you." Niki shouted to him.

Jack stared in awe. Niki. Was looking for him.

"Jesus, bossman, you fucking scared us."

Oh. Everybody was looking for him.

"What happened?" Ranboo questioned.

"I-" Jack glanced at Tommy, "I just went for a walk, and then I realized that I was lost. I didn't really care that much though. I figured I'd ask around until I found my way back." He... he hadn't realized that they would notice.

"Okay, we all know that's bullshit. Jack, what's wrong?" Wilbur pressed.

Jack just stared, looking slightly worried.

"Look, it's my fault." Tommy spoke up.

Everyone watched expectantly. (But it was Jack's fault, he was being so rude to everyone, that's why they were ignoring him, he deserved it-)

"I- I said something really shitty when Jack was just trying to talk to me. It's my fault." Tommy admitted.

Jack couldn't keep listening to Tommy blame himself. "No, it's my fault. I've been acting so selfish, I kept acting like you were ignoring me, when really you just have other friends!" Jack laughed, "I haven't slept, I actually started crying when you didn't let me pick a movie! Can you fucking imagine?"

The others stared at him, as guilt pooled in their chest.

"What?" Jack seemed genuinely confused, and that was the worst part.

"We're so sorry, Jack. It's our fault, not yours." Niki said, pulling him into a hug. "You need to go home and get some sleep, please?"

Jack didn't know why he started tearing up, "Uh- it's alright, really." He let himself relax into Niki's arms, "'s alright.."

The poor guy was so tired, and everyone else honestly blamed themselves. It wasn't exactly their fault, but they still should've done better. And they would. They swore it.