I received a letter from Zack's sergeant. I haven't opened it yet. I'm scared it will say he is dead. I've been going on for this past few weeks just by making myself believe he is alive. If he's gone I don't know what I will do.

The letter is just sitting on the coffee table. I've been sitting here staring at it for the longest time. I should open it. But then I shouldn't. Maybe the not knowing is the best. But what if I never read it and years from now Ezra asks where his father is? What am I suppose to tell him? Do I say oh hunny I don't know I never read the letter? I should read it.

An before I could change my mind again I snatched up the envelope and tore it open. I took out the letter and read it to myself.

The first few words is what got me.

"We are sorry to inform you,"

This can't be good. He's dead. I know it. I skipped over all the gibberish and found what I was looking for. And I was right Zack had died in battle.

I threw the letter on the ground and curled up on the couch bawling my eyes out.

I wish he never had gone into the Marines! If he didn't then this would never have happened. Why? Why did he have to die?

I laid like that on the couch for a couple of hours. My phone was ringing off the hook. But I never once answered it.

Then someone wad knocking on my door.

"Erika sweetie let me in it's your mom," mom yelled.

I didn't move I was frozen. All o could think about is he's dead. He's never coming back. Why did you even think he was going to come back? You set yourself up for the way you are reacting. You could have hot yourself prepared for what happened.

But the truth is I never could have been prepared. How could I? I heard the lock tumble and the door open and close. Mom must have gone to the Super to get a key.

"Sweetie Zack's mom called and told me what happened. I'm so sorry baby," mom said pulling me tight against her.

I just let her hug me. Nothing anyone can say or do will take away this pain that I feel.

"They're having a service for him on Monday," she said.

I didn't say anything. Then Ezra woke up from his nap.

"Do you want me to get him?" she asked.

I shook my head and got up. I picked up Ezra and carried him into the living room. I changed his diaper and gave him a bottle.

"Hunny talk to me please," mom pleaded.

"What do you want me to tell you? Do you want me to say oh I'm doing ok mom. No need to worry about me. This is normal we knew this might happen. I'm not hurt that it di happen. Because that's not how I feel. I hurt," I said tears filling my eyes.

"I know you must hurt. I don't want you to tell me that you're okay. I want you to tell me what you're thinking and how you feel," she replied.

"I'm thinking how am I going to raise a kid by myself? How am I going to support us? I don't make enough money to pay for this apartment. And I hurt mom. There is a hole in my heart. A hole that can never be filled," I told her.

"You have your dad and me plus Zack's family to help you. You're not alone. We are all in this together.

***********

Monday

I'm sitting in a chair in front of Zack's coffin. The ceremony is over. But I refused to leave.

The ceremony was beautiful. Nothing bad was said. Zack was a well liked man.

I smile because I know he is watching over us. He can see me an Ezra sitting here.

"Ezra your daddy was a wonderful man. He loved you very much. Just remember he died fighting. Because that's what he was a fighter," I told Ezra.

Ezra just looked to my side and smiled and laughed. I looked over to where he was looking and saw nothing. But I knew someone was there.

I looked back at Ezra and he was still looking beside me smiling. That's when I noticed it. Ezra never smiled like that for anyone. There was only one person that smile was for. And that person was Zack.

A/N

That was the last chapter. The book is done. Yay! And sorry for the long wait. Been busy with schoolwork. I get a lot more this year than last year. Anywho, if I spelled Zack's name wrong sorry. I didn't want to look back to see how I spelled it. Well I hope you guys enjoyed it.