Chapter Twenty Nine

*Louis' P.O.V*

I can't believe it.

I can't fathom the idea that she is gone from this world. I honestly am in a state of denial right now, even though my brain is screaming at me that I shouldn't be. I know I should listen to my brain over my heart but I can still feel the strings that connected me to her, tugging at my heart as if to tell me to run to her.

But I know I can't because she's gone. 

We are never going to be able to find out who did this to her because she isn't alive to tell us. I'm never going to be ale to hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her again. I'm never going to get to walk around the city, holding her hand and showing her off to everyone.

I'm never going to hear her voice or her melodic laugh. I'm never going to be able wipe away her tears when she's sad. I'm never going to see her gorgeous emerald green eyes as they look into my own blue ones. I'm never going to get to run my fingers through her soft blonde hair.

She's never going to be able to get married to the man of her dreams. She's never going to be able to have children and raise them. She's going to miss out on so much that her life had to offer all because of some sadistic, malicious person who thought it was okay to kidnap and innocent girl.

If I thought it was hard to cope without her for four months, I can only imagine how hard it is going to be to cope without her for the rest of my life. But this time, I won't have to constantly ask myself, 'is she alive or is she not?' Because this time, we all know that she isn't alive.

When I look up, I'm shocked to see that I've walked all the way down the hospital stairs and out to the parking lot. It wasn't long after I had gone into her hospital room that the grey clouds of the sky had opened up to let the clear water droplets fall freely from the sky.

It's as if the sky is crying with me. It's as if the sky knew that this would happen today and now it's crying with me, to hide my tears from the world. I feel the rain as it soaks through my clothes, chilling my to the bone.

But I honestly don't mind it. I don't mind the cold feeling that comes from standing in freezing rain. Only because I can't feel it. I'm too numb to feel anything. The cold cannot mask the pain that is coursing through my body at losing her. Nothing can mask the pain.

I continue to walk through the parking lot until I reach an area of grass, trees and flower bushes sprinkled around. I walk over to one of the trees and sit on a bench that is placed underneath it, the water seeping into my skinny jeans, not that I notice.

I pull my knees up to my chin, wrapping my arms around them in an effort to find some kind of comfort. But I know I won't. The only thing that could comfort me now is to feel her arms wrap around my shoulders but I know that won't happen. I know that won't happen ever again.

I clamp my eyes closed as I rest my head on my knees. As soon as my eyes close, pictures and memories of her dance slowly across my eye lids. Even though it hurts to see her, it also makes me feel better.

I still have memories of her that I can relive. It may not be anywhere near as good as seeing her and holding her but at least I still have memories of her. But I know that for a while, I'm not going to want to relive any memories of her. It will just bring too much pain and torment.

"Lou!"

I snap my eyes open and look up, squinting my lids just to try and make out who the figure in the distance is. I watch as the person gets closer and it's then that I realise that it's Liam. His hair is stuck to his forehead, raindrop running over his skin and falling helplessly to the ground.

"Louis!"

"What?" I say quietly, my voice sounding heartbroken, knowing he won't be able to hear me.

"Louis, where are you?"

I let out a sigh before yelling at him, "Over here!"

I watch Liam stop before he turns to look over at the tree I'm under. I watch his shoulders relax before he continues to jog over to me, water falling off him as he flies through the frigid air. He slows down just as he reaches me before coming to a complete stop, his shoulder moving up and down quite quickly.

"God Lou. Aren't you cold?" he asks as he sits down next to me.

"Probably," I reply in a monotone voice, "But I wouldn't know."

"Why not? You would know if you were cold or not Lou," he huffs.

"I'm too numb to feel anything right now. So I can't really feel if I'm cold or not."

"You need to get inside Louis or you'll freeze to death."

That thought sparks a match in my brain and I feel my eyes light up slightly, "Good."

"Good? That's not good Lou. God, you're shivering. You really should get inside mate."

"I would rather freeze to death then spend my days without her because at least if I'm dead I'll get to see her again."

"What are you talking about?" he questions.

"If I freeze to death, I'll get to see Mimi again. I'm too selfish to resort to suicide so I'll find some natural way to die," I tell him.

"Why would you want to die? Why are you thinking about suicide?" Liam exclaims.

"Because I can't live on this earth without Mimi. I can't live knowing that she's not alive anymore Liam."

"Lou, you're being irrational here."

I get to my feet, anger running through my veins, "You have some real nerve to come out here and tell me I'm being irrational when the girl I love just freaking died Liam!"

I watch as a look of realisation crosses over his face before he lets out a small sigh of what I think is relief. The anger running through my body doesn't stop at his actions, it only grows.

"Lou," he says calmly, "Mimi is still alive."

DUN DUN DUN!

DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA CIRCUS!

DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA AFRO!

CIRCUS! AFRO! CIRCUS! AFRO!

POLKA DOT! POLKA DOT! POLKA DOT! AFRO!

Sup nerds. 

How you doing this fine morning? Or afternoon. Or evening. Or last light of the moon. Okay, that last one was random and unnecessary. But still.

So here is the well awaited Chapter Twenty Nine.

A lot of emotion. A lot of drama. A lot of rain. A lot of words. A lot of letters. A lot of stuff in general.

'WELL ME I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY!'

#ListeningtoThinkingOutLoudwhilewritingthis

'MAYBE WE FOUND LOVE RIGHT WHERE WE ARE!'

Okay, singing over. Lol.

So, what are your thoughts on this chapter? Are your feelz on overload? Are you crying? Are you hallucinating that you are there to comfort poor LouLou? Yeah me too.

......

No, not really.

vvvv Also guys, don't forget to check out my Facebook page. I'll leave the link right here vvvv

https://www.facebook.com/TannaJAuthor

There it is. Go over there, press the like button if you want to. I'll be posting little updates about the book, letting you know when I've updated, letting you know when I'm writing a chapter, letting you know if you will hate me in the next chapter. Yeah. 

QOTC: Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Like, if you put glue on paper, it will stick to it. Or if you put it on your fingers or the table, it will stick to that. So why doesn't it stick to the inside of the glue bottle or glue stick?

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo