Chapter Fifty Eight

I feel all of the air escape my lungs in one motion as the memory runs through my brain, over and over. As much as I try to repress the scenes that are racing through my brain, there is no possible way. There is no possible way to stop the images from rolling through my brain on a constant, terrifying loop.

My whole body is shaking as the terror of the memory takes over my body. The tears that I have tried my very best to hold back for as long as possible are running down my cheeks, all thoughts of staying strong vanishing as the feeling of the immense pain that was placed upon my body, hits me.

I close my eyes as tightly as possible, trying to rid myself of the tears and the fear but it only makes it worse as the scenes replay again and again. As much as I try to make them stop, it's as if it wants me to relive that memory again and again until the pain and the terror becomes too much for me.

As quickly as I can, I curl my shivering body into a ball on the floor where I fell at the shock of the detective being one of my kidnappers. I wrap my arms around my head as I rock slightly, the panic that is rocking through my body taking over.

That's when I hear it. 

The scream.

The high pitched wail that continuously bounces off the walls, piercing my ear drums. I feel the panic in my body increase, even though I already know who the scream belongs to. Even though I already know why the scream is sounding again and again, the agonizing sound absolutely terrifying.

Me.

I'm the one screaming at the top of my lungs as my brain recalls the memory that I don't want to see. Try as I might, I cannot get it to stop repeating, it just keeps going, the fear becoming worse with every passing second.

That's when I feel it. 

The hand on my shoulder.

I hear my wails get louder out of fear, my body instantly moving as far away from the person as I possible can, even though I know it's no use. They will come after me anyway. They will follow me and hurt me.

Hurt.

Hurt.

Hurt me.

They will hurt me.

They will beat me and whip me and slap me and kick me. They will throw rocks at my head, grind cigarette butts into the skin on my legs and arms. They will break my bones, causing me to scream as the pain becomes way too much and I pass out, only to wake up naked, my body hurting, 'love' bites covering my skin.

"Mimi!"

"Mimi! Love calm down!"

The voices.

They seem so familiar yet they seem so wrong. These people shouldn't be here. The voices are wrong but I can't help but feel like I should know them. I can't help but feel like they aren't here to hurt me.

But I know better then that.

I trusted that detective but he was the one who had kidnapped me.

"Mim, please. What's wrong?"

Mim.

There are only four people I know that call me Mim.

Only four.

That means that...

I let my eyes flutter open, only moving my head slightly so I can see who is crouching next to me. As my eyes move in and out of focus, the bright lights too much for me after having my eyes closed for so long, I hear the person next to me sigh in relief.

Liam.

"Oh love. Are you okay?" 

His voice is gentle, so different from what I heard in the memories. I reach up, my hand shaking terribly, before wrapping my fingers around his wrist, loving the feel of the skin to skin contact.

It makes me feel safe. It makes me feel as if no one can hurt me anymore. But I know that's not true. I know that they will be able to hurt me, even from here. I mean, they're doing it now. They're hurting me now and they aren't even near me.

They knew that the memories would haunt me for months, maybe even years, after. Even if I feel safe, the memories will still be there, waiting in the back of my mind until they find their chance to pounce. Until they find that tiny little crack in my defenses meaning that they can slip through and haunt even my most peaceful moments.

"Li."

My voice sounds weak and broken, the vocals chords torn and and sore from the terrified screaming. I know that I won't be able to manage more than that one word without the stutter from the fear entering my voice. I may not remember much but I know that there was a stutter.

A stutter that I didn't have before I was kidnapped.

A stutter that was inflicted as the pain and the torture was placed upon me.

"What's wrong? What's wrong love?"

Liam, expecting an answer from me, lets out a long sigh as he is met by silence. That's when I notice, out of the corner of my eye, the other three boys standing in the room. I let my eyes drift over the three boys, my body relaxing more and more when I see all of them there meaning that I'm safe.

Or as safe as I can be for now.

"You know you can tell me anything right Mim?"

"X-Xand...der."

I see Liam's eyes open wide as the stutter mixes with my voice, but my mind is too terrified to fele offended by his actions. Just thinking about him makes my hands shake and the darkness that I had kept at bay, creep over my body, making me feel the terror that he made so sure would be there even after I escaped him.

"The detective?"

I nod at his words, only increasing the confusion I know that he is feeling.

"What about him?"

I can only stare at him for a few seconds before I move my head away to stare at the wall, tears still rolling down my cheeks. 

So much for being strong.

But I guess there is no way to be strong when you are being tortured by memories of being kidnapped.

"Mimi, what about him?"

I can't ignore him forever and he deserves to know.

"He kidnapped me. He was one of the men who kidnapped me."

Poor Mimi. 

She is absolutely terrified and she is safe.

I feel bad for her :(

Ugh, I woke up this morning only to find another 100 or more notifications on Facebook. 

Why did my friend have to upload over 300 photos?! WHY!!!!

Nahhh, it's all g. It doesn't really bother me to be honest. At least I didn't have to go through them because I knew what they were.

QOTC: Do you prefer normal Freddo Frogs, white chocolate ones or Caramello Koalas?

I don't know if you Americans know what I'm talking about but you Aussies should. I don't really have a favourite but if I had a choice, it would either be normal Freddo Frogs or Caramello Koalas.

ILYSM!

SWAG ON!

~ TJ xoxoxoxo